This is the last time I’ll be watching Impact live, for now.

Bobby Roode vs MVP In a Falls Count Anywhere “Contest”
What’s this? Starting with a match? TNA! TNA! TNA! Not that this’ll really be a match as MVP is still injured. Tenay says something is happening backstage, and they cut to the back with MVP and Angle. He says he’s injured and won’t go out there, so Roode goes backstage to him. Roode finds him, punches him, and drags his crippled ass around the backstage area, and into the crowd, as they fight. MVP manages to run, so I think he might be healed. It’s so hard to tell when they tape in advance like this. Roode controls but MVP hits cheap shots to fight back. Kenny King runs in to help MVP and he’s chased off by Eric Young. MVP goes to town on Roode with a chair, and Roode grabs it to take out BOTH of MVP’s legs and put on the Sharpshooter to tap out MVP for the win. Good start TNA.

There’s a recap of the great title match from last week. Highest rated segment! That sets up a Hardy in ring promo, which will be after the break. Or not. Knowing TNA it could be the main event segment. Pot break they actually recap the Dixie/Bully angle. Never trust TNA, as this leads to a Dixie segment. She says she’s here to support Ethan, and says she’s here to promise that she’ll be standing over Bully’s dead body by the end of the night.



Jeff Hardy vs The Mic
Okay so it IS a Hardy in-ring segment. This should be…fun. Hardy says that we haven’t seen the end of Willow, he does everything he does to entertain the fans. He wants to talk about the future, and mentions having someone with him, saying they will be part of TNA’s future. The fans chant “We want Matt” and Jeff teases Matt is indeed there. He hypes Matt up and introduces him. Fatt (okay he’s actually not that fat anymore) Hardy comes out to the ring and grabs a mic. He says he loves New York fans and thanks Jeff for inviting him. When they were growing up they wanted to be tag champs just once, and they did better than that, but then Matt had to go away. He had to clean himself up, and he feels he let Jeff and the fans down when he did. Let’s not forget Jeff had to do that too.

Matt says it’s time for the Hardy Boyz to be the tag champs one more time. He wants to have that match at Destination X, and they’ll have to beat the best. He invites The Wolves to join them in the ring. Tall Wolf says they have a lot of respect for the Hardyz, and says he and Davey need to beat them to prove THEY are the best. Davey gets the mic and makes the match official for Destination X. That’s gonna be pretty good. They shake on it and end the segment.

Austin Aries is backstage. He says he’s made his decision, and teases he could go either way.

The Bromans are completely reunited and they’re in the ring. Robbie E says nobody has a body like Jessie Godderz, and Jessie implies they have a loving relationship, and says he’s no longer afraid of clowns and congratulates him on being on TV. DJZ says he’s better than everyone in the X-Division and NYC, and says Destination X will be his time. For now though he has a match with LOW KI. I marked out for this.

I also occasionally mark out for Google.

I also occasionally mark out for Google.

Low Ki vs DJZ
It’s a fast paced and great X Division match. Low Ki can really add to the division and help make it something big again. Low Ki controls most of the match and wins with a High Cradle Driver as Tazz called it. Remember Tazz said it, not me. Awwww yeah Low Ki. Someone hand him a mic!

Gunner is backstage with our favourite nutjob Sam Shaw. Sam jokes that he’s the most normal person in New York and Anderson comes into the scene. He tells Shaw to stay out of the match that he and Gunner have with Bramgus. Shaw says that Anderson will trust him some day, and Kenny denies it.

EC3, Spud, and Rhino are backstage. Ethan says that he IS the streets, born and raised on them. Dixie comes in with King Mo. Dixie says Mo won but made a mistake by not taking out Rampage in his home town, and tells Ethan to not make the same mistake. He has to kill Bully. Also Mo is Dixie’s bodyguard or something. Anyway, that’s done.

I've talked to my cat, have you?

I’ve talked to my cat, have you?

Bram and Magnus vs Ken Anderson and Gunner
The crowd chant USA as there are two brits in the match. Fuck you NYC you damn racists. Gunner and Bram beat the tar out of eachother. I don’t mind big man vs big man when there’s some speed to it, which this had, so I was into it. Anderson and Magnus get into it too. Bram attacks Anderson outside the ring and sends him back inside for Magnus to hit his finisher the Spine Shanker for the win. Things break out into an all out brawl post match as all four men go to war. Bram goes under the ring, grabs a turnbuckle, but Sam Shaw gets in his way and takes the turnbuckle beating. Gunner still gets a good beatdown though until Abysys also comes out to fight off Bram. Abyss might not forget getting hit by Janice but I sure did. Bram manages to escape, but the set up is complete.

Bully Ray is with Devon and Dreamer. He really wants to put Dixie through a table. Really, really badly. Dreamer tells him to relax, and they’ll win, and Devon says “testify” to end the segment.

How Kang won the election.

How Kang won the election.

There’s a video package on Option C that covers what Option A and B were. I was thankful for that because I forgot them. Option A was that only Aries would be able to cash in, on that one night, and Option B was that he would just keep the title. Option C was to make sure every year the X-Division champion could cash in. Anyway, Kurt Angle comes out to the ring. He says next week is Destination X and invites Aries out to join him. Angle basically asks him if he’s handing over the title or not, and Aries says it seems like a no brainer. Before he can answer properly he’s interrupted by ML, as King stayed in the back.

MVP asks him if he’s actually thought about his decision, as Lashley will pretty much eat him alive. MVP says Lashley will be champion for as long as he wants to be, and admits Aries is a great wrestler, and smart. The fans love Aries, but he can’t beat Lashley. A lot of time went into building up the X-Division, and tells him to stick with what he knows. Option C worked once, but it won’t happen again. Aries says he knows about taking things, touching them, and making them great, and he knows what it takes to be champion. He hypes up the X-Division, and says that X-Division wrestlers are willing to leave it all in the ring and he can do things MVP can’t do with four good legs. He’s come too far to give up now, and while Lashley is bigger and stronger than he is, he’s not tougher. Toughness is a mindset, and there’s no one he thinks he can’t beat. He hands the title in and says next week it’s Lashley vs Aries. When he beats Lashley he’s going to create Option D which means that he will be a fighting champion and give the X-Division champion a shot whenever he wants, not just once a year. Lashley gets in his face, and Angle makes it official.

I miss Sandow doing the cartwheel.

I miss Sandow doing the cartwheel.

There’s a video recap of Taryn Terrell and Gail Kim’s excellent feud. All two matches of it. Time for the third one.

Taryn Terrell vs Gail Kim for the Women’s Title
The pair put on a pretty good match. Terrell seemed a little slow at times, but it’s still a good match. Tazz covers for Taryn being a little slow by saying she’s not used to the six sided ring, which I can understand. Taryn goes to the top rope, and the Beautiful People come down to ruin everyone’s fun. They attack both women and get the match thrown out.

Dixie is backstage talking to a mystery man in a car. She tells them to wait for her signal. She and Mo leave to find their seats. In the arena Jeremy Borasch introduces The Great Muta. The show was going so good I forgot Muta was on the show tonight. Muta is interrupted almost immediately by Robbie E who asks if this is a joke. He complains that Low Ki got an entrance and Muta did, but he didn’t. Robbie complains he didn’t get a match either, and calls for Muta to have one with him.

A general message to Robbie E too.

A general message to Robbie E too.

Great Muta vs Robbie E
Robbie beats up an old man for about a minute before Muta spits out the mist, hits his signature moves, and picks up the win with the Shining Wizard. Muta’s music is interrupted again, this time by James Storm. Storm is unimpressed by Muta and calls him a great fraud and a wannabe legend. He can fool Sanada, but not Storm. All he sees is another man coming in to the company his body built and trying to relive his glory days. Storm is a legend and in Tennessee they don’t spit mist, but spit beer. e spits beer in Muta’s eyes and starts beating on him, fighting off a random Japanese wrestler in the process.

Sanada runs out and chases Storm off with a chair. Muta threatens Storm and Sanada pulls a Seth Rollins. He hits Sanada in the back with the chair, spits mist at the random Japanese wrestler, and hits a Moonsault on Muta. He leaaves the ring, bows to Storm, and leaves with him.

Before the main event JB is with Dixie and Mo in the stands. Dixie says Mo has his back and that he is one of the biggest badasses on the planet. She’s sick and tired of hearing certain letters chanted. JB goes to say ECW but Mo cuts him off and Dixie says he’ll be fired if he says ECW. Dixie says he made the kool-aid and that Bully is drinking it and thinks he’s somebody again. If the fans want to chant ECW then she’ll give them a reason to.

This is extreme.

This is extreme.

Tommy Dreamer and The Dudley Boyz vs Rockstar Spud, EC3, and Rockstar Spud in a NYC Street Fight
Everyone beats up everyone, and Spud is sacrificed to Satan. It’s a short and hard hitting match with weapons everywhere. The fans chant “We want blood!” and I’m surprised no one got opened up. Spud eats a Doomsday, and EC3 gets a trash can dropkicked into his face from the Tree of Woe. Thankfully the crowd chanted TNA and not ECW as they hit the Wassup on Rhino. Devon goes to grab a table when he’s jumped by a fan in a hoodie. Tazz teases he knows who it is, and Bully grabs them and drags them over the barricade.

Spud gets a Pile Driver in the ring and Dreamer takes out EC3 with a Singapore cane. He goes to Piledrive EC3 onto the chair when the hooded man stops him, and it’s revealed to be Big Zeke Ezekiel Jackson. EC3 hits the 1%er on Dreamer for the win. Post match Dixie tells the security to let go of the other hooded man (there were two after all) and it’s Baby Killer Gene Snitsky. Devon eats a Gore from Rhino and Bully tries to fight everyone off but he gets wasted. 3-Dreamer are left lying in the ring and Dixie poses with five men. Sounds like a heck of a night.

Speaking of a heck of a night, that was a heck of a show. A bit too much though. There were technically six matches, and so much happened. It was all good, but there was too much of it. Still an easy 8/10.

Post by Noyce

Mark Noyce is one of the co-hosts of Bored Wrestling Fan and occasional contributor to the site. He's published a few books on Amazon you can find by searching his name and is looking for voice and written work so contact him via Twitter if you're interested.

All posts by Noyce | Noyce on Twitter

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

RSS Feeds

Posts by Category