TNA iMPACT: 9/4/08By thinksojoe · · Leave a Comment
Sting addresses the fans, and AJ Styles takes on Christian Cage in the final Four Ways to Glory qualifying match on tonight’s iMPACT!
Detailed results after the jump.
We kick things off with a recap of Sting telling everybody that they’re a bunch of spoiled brats then hearing Jarrett’s music. Tonight’s show is called “Sting vs. The Fans”
The entire iMPACT intro is done in video game style, it includes the games from Thorslots as well. Tonight, The Icon Sting will address the fans, Abyss has issued an open challenge, Christian Cage will take on AJ Styles in a qualifying match for Four Ways to Glory. All this, and the knockouts in action!
Kurt Angle is out first, he gets the video game entrance, and after him, Booker T comes out, also with his video game entrance – and his wife Sharmell. Angle and Booker are both dressed in suits, and both have microphones. Angle says it’s a portrait of what real champions look like. They carry themselves with dignity, honor, and respect, traits Joe would never have. Everything Sting said last week was directed at Samoa Joe. Joe’s a disgrace to the TNA Championship. Booker says that Kurt Angle is right on de money, Joseph. Sting spoke the truth last week. The truth about today’s wrestlers, a bunch of spoiled brats, who want everything but have earned nothing. Booker’s doing a very horrible accent, so bad that I can’t tell what it’s supposed to be. Anyways, in the ring, it’s two distinguished gentlemen. At No Surrender, the title will be decided between the two of them, the old fashioned way, man to man, face to face, like two champions should. Angle agrees. They’re going to take out the winner of Styles/Cage right at the beginning of the match. They’re going to find that country hick and stick his guitar up his ass. Then they’ll make an example out of Joe and humiliate him like the punk he is. It’s real. It’s damn real.
Christian Cage’s music hits, and for once, someone comes out without a video game entrance (though it is shown on the big screen above the entrance). Cage says that he’s going to qualify tonight. Styles is the future, but No Surrender is in Cage’s backyard. Angle and Book seem distracted, and Cage says he hopes they are, because he’s thinking about becoming a three time World Heavyweight Champion. Booker flips out. He says Cage is nothing but a Poo Put, fairy-tale dreamin’… always talkin’ about how he rolls. Of all people Cage needs to be rolling with Booker T and Kurt Angle, because the young guys don’t show them nothing. Cage calls Book “Whoopie Goldberg” and asks if it’s about the lack of respect, or if Booker is worried about losing his spot. Angle tells him to go ahead and play the role of a super hero. We could do this the easy way, or we could do it the hard way. It’s Cage’s choice. Cage says it depends. What’s the hard way. Angle unbottons his jacket and runs up to attack Cage, but Cage knocks him down and attacks Booker T, but when Angle gets back in, the two of them work over Cage – until AJ Styles comes to the rescue. Kurt says that if AJ wants to do something, Booker T and himself are going to make sure neither one of them make it to No Surrender. Jim Cornette says that the people deserve to see Styles/Cage without involvement from Booker T or Kurt Angle. If either one interferes, both of them are out of the Four Ways to Glory match.
TO THE BACK! Where JB is with Joe. Joe tells him that Nash’s temper cost him his match with Angle last week. Next time Joe sees him, he’s going to put his hands on him. What about Sting? Is tonight Joe’s opportunity? Sting preaches how Joe doesn’t respect him. Sting needs to earn it. He hides in the rafter, he comes and goes as he pleases. He takes money out of the pockets of the talent, and the fans who pay to see him wrestle. If Sting’s got something to say to the fans, he can say it to Joe too.
We come back to a Rough Cut segment on Consequences Creed. They started these two weeks before I went away, and I come back to see another one.’
Shiek Kareem Abdul Bashir is backstage with Lauren who wants to know why he’s made it a personal war with the USA. He tells her that he’s the victim, not the USA. Lady America gave him freedom, let him lead the American dream, and he has reached ungodly levels of success. He gives back to America by giving unionized Americans well paying job. But then a terrorist act happened that took it all away. He’s going to take back what’s his, and he doesn’t mind torturing innocent civillians along the way. And Lauren can tell Lady America that he doesn’t love her anymore.
Hey wait, what’s this!?!? A wrestling match?!? Only a quarter of the way through the show?!? NO WAY!!!!
Consequences Creed def. Shiek Abdul Bashir
This match goes back and forth, and I’m quite surprised they didn’t save it for PPV, considering the recent history between these two. Bashir rolls up Creed, and with his feet on the ropes he picks up the victory… or so it would seem. The referee restarts the match after the fans tell him about Bashir’s discresion. Creed goes for a sunset flip, Bashir grabs the ropes, and for some reason, the referee kicked Bashir’s arm, causing him to lose his grip on the ropes, allowing Creed to get the pinfall victory.
After the match, Bashir argues with the referee, and winds up slapping him. The referee fires back, he chops him, takes him down with a back body drop, and then clotheslined him out of the ring! Earl Hebner comes out to calm the referee down.
TO THE BACK! JB is with Kevin Nash. I didn’t pay that much attention, but I did catch that if Joe doesn’t want to listen to Nash, maybe he’ll listen to Sting.
Cross the line and go see a TNA live event. Unless, y’know, they’re not coming anywhere near you, as is the case with me.
TO THE BACK! Lauren is with Beer Money, who have a huge announcement – are the last two characters to be announced for the TNA iMPACT Video Game from MIDWAY! Storm drinks too much to play video games. Roode says they get royalties. Storm thinks he means the king and queen of England. Super Eric says that the Brotherhood is going to get them pulled from the game, for the kids. Roode argues with him, so Curry Man tries to convince them. He says he’s rich in Japan, and he drinks a lot of saki; to which Storm replies “you suck what?” Anyway, the thing erupts into a brawl, and then we find out that later on tonight, Beer Money Inc. takes on the Prince Justice Brotherhood, among other matches.
We get a video package on Abyss.
TO THE BACK! Lauren is with The Beautiful People, who have an announcement. “Cute Kyp” tells Lauren to show respect to the Beautiful People. Velvet Sky tells Taylor Wilde that next week, she and Angelina Love have a special challenge for her. They want to humiliate her. Next week, it’s Wilde vs. Love in a Beautiful People Beauty Pageant. With a talent portion, an evening gown portion, and a swimsuit competition.
There are no Divas in TNA, just girls who dare to Cross The Line. That’s what the video package told me.
SORRY ABOUT YOUR DAMN LUCK…
James Storm & Robert Roode def. The Prince Justice Brotherhood
Curry Man is nowhere to be found. Oh, there he is, he’s backstage with Christy Hemme, who says she likes it rough. Lucky bastard. Anyways, it’s now Shark Boy and Super Eric against Beer Money Inc. Beer Money take over early. Backstage, Curry Man is getting beaten down by the Rock and Rave Infection. Storm hits the last call, and Roode hits the payoff on SharkBoy, and Beer Money Inc win the match.
Hernandez hits the ring and chases Beer Money out of the ring. Homicide attacks them from behind with a patch over his eye. LAX beat down the World Tag Team Champions.
Abyss is sitting down and rocking back and forth in the back. He’s apparently up next!
Abyss’s entrance gets the video game treatment, as he makes his way to the ring for his open challenge. We also get a recap of Abyss on Karen’s Angle last week. Team 3D’s music hits, and Brother Ray’s entrance gets the video game treatment. He’s out with Brother Devon and Johnny Devine. Who’s going to accept the challenge? Brother Ray and Brother Devon accept the challenge – on behalf of Johnny Devine.
Abyss vs. Johnny Devine in a Hardcore match ends in a no contest.
Devine tries to use weapons on Abyss, but they have no effect on him. Every time he fails though, Team 3D distract Abyss. Finally, Abyss punches a chair right back into Devine’s face, and then chokeslams him. Abyss picks up a chair, teases hitting Devine with it, stops, and then Team 3D use the hesitation to take him down with a low blow. They beat him down, until Matt Morgan makes the save. He takes out Team 3D and Johnny Devine. Morgan tosses Abyss the chair, and Abyss threw it down.
TO THE BACK! Lauren is with ODB, who apparently needs to go to the bathroom, and she kicks a couple of guys out of the men’s bathroom. Awesome Kong’s been barred from ringside for her match with ODB, ODB takes a crap and leaves the bathroom without washing her hands.
Earlier today, Lauren was on hand for the arrival of Sting. Wait a minute, that’s not Sting, that’s Steve Borden! Maybe that’s why he won’t answer you, Lauren. Steve Borden doesn’t answer to Sting!
Raisha Saeed is ready for battle with ODB. we get a recap of ODB rescuing whoever it was Awesome Kong was devouring last week.
ODB def. Raisha Saeed
ODB starts the match by pulling Saeed out of the ring. They take turns whipping each other into the guardrails. Saeed takes control, but ODB battles back. We get a subliminal “who is suicide” ad, as this match continues to go back and forth. Saeed goes for a moonsault, but ODB moves out of the way. ODB feels herself up and takes control of the match. She hits a fallaway slam, takes a shot from her flask, then powerslams Saeed, covers her, and picks up the win.
After the match, ODB attempts to unmask Saeed, but Saeed escapes. Or tries to anyway. ODB catches up with her and starts pulling at the burka. Saeed tries to escape again, but again ODB catches her. ODB gets closer and closer to unmasking Saeed. Again Saeed escapes. ODB comes back from backstage, and she has the mask, but gets attacked from behind by Awesome Kong. Kong rams her back first into the ringpost, as Saeed sneaks out to the iMPACT Zone and puts her mask back on. Kong is going after ODB in the ring as we hit a…
When we come back, Kong hits the Implant Buster on ODB. Raisha Saeed gives Kong a chair, but Roxxi comes to the rescue. Roxxi and Kong have a chair fight, which Roxxi wins, but she’s attacked from behind by Raisha Saeed. Saeed and Kong go on the offensive, and Kong nails an Awesome Bomb onto a chair on Roxxi. Security finally comes out to break it up.
We get a Kurt Angle promo video.
Laruen is backstage with The Beautiful People and “Cute Kyp.” Angelina shows her bikini to Velvet, Kyp, and Lauren, and the beautiful people give a “Woah Bundy” style “Woah Beauty.”
Video package detailing the history between Cage and AJ Styles.
TO THE BACK! JB is with AJ Styles. Is AJ fully able to concentrate after everything that happened with Sting last week? AJ yells at JB for even bringing it up. Sting thinks this new generation is spoiled? You have to earn respect, old man. Sting should be thanking AJ, because if it weren’t for him, none of them would be in TNA. He gets angry, and starts yelling. He calms down and says he respects Christian Cage.
Their match is next. Still to come, Sting.
Christian Cage def. AJ Styles to qualify for Four Ways to Glory
This match goes back and forth early, as you’d expect given the participants. AJ goes for a springboard move, but Cage catches him and knocks him off the ropes, sending Styles throat first onto the top rope. It doesn’t slow Styles down a bit though, he hit a hurricanrana before we hit a commercial break. We come back, and the two men are still battling back and forth. AJ manages to catch the inverted DDT and get a two count, and they start trading blows. Cage goes for the Frog Splash, but Styles moves. Styles goes for the Styles Clash, but it’s blocked, and Christian goes for the Unprettier. It’s reversed, and AJ hits the Pele for another two count. Christian throws Styles off the top rope on a superplex attempt and followed immediately with a Frog Spash, but only gets two. AJ catches Cage on the tip rope again, and hits a super backdrop, climbs the ropes, and mises the Spiral Tap. Cage goes for the Unprettier, but Styles shoves him away – and into the referee. Frank Trigg hits the scene and hits Styles with a Kendo stick. Cage doesn’t realize it, and he drops Styles with the Unprettier for the victory. What a match!
It’s now Booker T vs. Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle vs. Christian Cage in Four Ways to Glory at No Surrender.
We get a Jeff Jarrett video package, including him walking away from the business after his wife passed away, and the recent history of guitars in TNA.
Sting is making his way into the iMPACT Zone. What will the Icon have to say? We’ll find out, NEXT!
Sting hits the ring, and much to his pleasant surprise, he gets cheered. He says that there are some people who would’ve loved to have seen Booker T taken out by Samoa Joe. There are some people who would’ve loved to see Kurt Angle taken out by AJ Styles. And there are some people who would’ve loved to have seen AJ hit Sting with the baseball bat and splatter his brains all over the place last week. Sting knows that fans want to be part of the show, and we should be part of the show. You can be part of the show, but you can’t be the show. If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything. Where do you stand?
Samoa Joe lets Sting know where he stands – in about 20 seconds he’ll be standing on his throat. Sting hands Joe the bat and tells him to go ahead and hit him with it. Joe says he that much like Sting’s respect, he doesn’t need his damned bat. When you turn your back on the future, you’re bound to regret it. Nash comes out to play peacemaker… or maybe instigator. He tells Joe that he knows he’s the last person Joe wants to see right now, but it doesn’t have to be like this. If Joe wants to do it, do it without the weapons. Sting slugs Joe in the midsection with the bat and drops him with the Scorpion Death Drop. Jeff Jarrett’s music starts, but Sting tells them to cut it off. He says that maybe next week, he and Jeff can talk. Sting says he’s ready.
I leave for two weeks and the show turns back into this? I’ll admit it; I love where the Sting angle is going, but other than that this was a clusterf*** of a show. It was 25 minutes into the show when we finally got a match – and here I was under the impression that this was a wrestling show. I’m not saying that WWE doesn’t do the same thing, but TNA was founded as an alternative to the WWE. Whatever. I don’t really have much to say about this show, but I’m certainly looking forward to next week’s show (and really, isn’t that the point?), and on top of that, I’m looking forward to the video game hitting stores on Tuesday.
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