As the snow falls in the midwest. I look upon my computer screen (seeing as how the television decided to crap out on me)and watch an opening of surprise we have a match! The three way between Velvet Sky, Mickie James and Tara is underway as Christie Hemme announces the number 1 contenders. At first as I watched this it looked pretty sloppy, miscommunication and confused looks on faces made me almost facepalm. But eventually it picked up this of course lead to the shocking winner Tara after she spider webs Velvet on top of Mickie and cover James for the win.

Seriously this is the only pic I could find. Not kidding.

We have Mike Tenay go over a brawl that took place earlier that night. Jeff Hardy and Bully Ray start kicking the hell out of each other leading to Roode pulling up in his truck double teaming Hardy, which doesn’t sound as bad as you think. Soon just as Roode/Ray throw Jeff into the back of the truck James Storm runs in to eventually get double teamed that is until the bat of justice from Steve Borden saves the day. Back into the Impact Zone as Sting, Hardy and Storm head down to call out Roode and Ray. Well lets just say another fight ensues where Steve attempts to separate everyone leading to Storm suggesting a tables match. So for your main event we have Storm/Hardy vs Roode/Ray in a tag team tables match.
We have a promo with the returning Alex Shelley, who discusses his match with Zema Ion and his subsequent match should he win against Austin Aries for the X Division title. (Just happy to see a feud with history dating back to pre-Hogan being remembered)
This is when I shake my head as Eric Young mistakes a disfigured black crew member for Sammy Davis Jr. Only for the guy to leave him at the mercy of Winter Love who attempt to seduce him into a crotch shot only for him to be prepared with a cup. More pointless filler to further a feud which can’t really be fought because Spike TV doesn’t allow female on male violence. EY scares the Vampire Lesbians away with his cup sniffing.
X division match is underway with Zema Ion vs Alex Shelley, and lets just say this is what TNA is all about or was. Fast paced action followed by near falls and amazing finishes. Zema Ion attempts a 450 splash only to miss and get sliced bread #2 for a three count. Shelley will advance toward Aries for Against All Odds.
AJ Styles has a promo describing how the business changes people. And he is also getting to the bottom of the Kaz/Daniels pairing. Which of course means nothing will be disclosed.
Eric Bischoff shows up at the gym of his son’s. Brings a camera crew to see what his trainer looks like. After some smug exchanges Garett points off camera to the shock of Eric B. Camera man is ushered out. Here’s hoping it was Eric B’s wife because who allows a man to put her son in the hospital?
Awesome! A mixxed tag match with no actual wrestling!
Lets give a run down
1. EY comes into the ring and proceeds to lock up with Earl Hebner
2. He then instructs Hebner out to the apron to be tagged in
3. Earl is tagged in and EY gets out.
4. EY locks up some more with Earl, Winter attacks, EY strips
5. EY chases Winter and Love around like a pervert
6. ODB tags in, decimates the heels
7. EY’s Hebner baffoonery distracts ref allowing Winter/Love to take control
8. After the heels have some fun,ODB is given liquid courage, popeye stle. EY and ODB do some double airplane spins (RIP Gorilla Monsoon)
9. EY and Winter dizzily exit the ring, as ODB slams Love for the three count.
10.Face Palming insues.

EY and ODB's next business

THen we have a Roode and Ray promo where some foreshadowing is being done. Ray makes some off color comment about Bobby Roode not being the champ for long showing distrust. Both men can’t turn their backs on each other.
We have an overview of the non feud of Magnus/JOE and Crimson/Morgan, I say non feud due to the ass kicking JOE and Magnus have taken in actual matches. They replay the 1 minute match between Crimson and Magnus from last week. Next we JOE vs Morgan.
Well look it here it is a good match with some hard hitting action that actually last longer than a minute. Of course Morgan wins with a running Discus Punch (shades of the Texas Tornado,Kerry Von Erich) for the win.
Afterwards the heels beat down the champs. I have a feeling that JOE/Magnus will win next month and take on the returning MCMG in the future.
AJ is looking for answers and he isn’t getting them. Daniels instead does some more taunting about Styles being a whiner leading to an altercation in which Daniels gets owned. When Kazarian won’t shake Styles hand because you know Daniels has something on him we get a match set up at AAO, Kazarian vs Styles, for all the answers! 
I have a theory. Lets go back some months when Daniels turned heel and Kaz went to see him. They agreed to meet. Months go by and all of a sudden Kaz is his slave. Kaz wife Traci months earlier slept with Eric B. for the Knockouts VP position but was denied anyway with Kaz not getting angry. Even in his aborted feud with Jeff Jarrett/Karen where Jarrett called Traci names. I think Traci is Kaz’s beard as it were and he is secretly hiding his sexuality which Daniels must have found out on his trip to Kaz’s ranch.

Just A theory

Anyway. Tag team tables match was a third brawl through most of it leading into some almost table drops on both sides. Eventually James Storm gets Roode in a corner, letting Jeff hit the twist of fate, rolling roode on the table STorm hits an elbow drop for the win. Then after the heels return and beat down the faces putting Hardy through a table.
Here’s to next week when Impact is in England. PNTNR OUT.

Not the Impact Zone!!


  1. Tara's win was good. Mickie James has feuded with Gail Kim since Gail's return, and much of that hasn't been nearly as impressive as it should have been. No one has ever or will ever watch Velvet Sky for her wrestling ability. Tara was the one they really needed this time.

    I had the same thought as you did. "Please not Hogan, please not Hogan, please not Hogan!" Who else could it possibly be, though, to get that reaction from Eric Bischoff? We're sunk in that regard.

    Alex Shelley looked like he'd never left the ring. I can't wait to see him and Aries mix it up. Xima Ion's new persona has been panned as far too "over the top" and generally awful by almost every wrestling site, but I don't see the problem. It's been quite enjoyable so far. For one thing, he actually HAS a persona, unlike Jesse Sorenson and several of the other guys. He's thoroughly into it, much like Brodus Clay. Sure, the "not the face!" bit has been done before, most recently by Cody Rhodes, but who cares? Finally, some sites complain that the "arrogant pretty-boy" gimmick shouldn't be used on a funny-looking guy like Ion. Why not? That's part of the fun. He's no Austin Aries, but Xima Ion is actually a bright spot in TNA, and they certainly need as many of those as they can get.

    It is rather sad, though, that I watched a match featuring Xima Ion, the man to whom I often referred as Juan Epstein, the Puerto Rican Jew, on the day that the actor who played Juan Epstein on "Welcome Back, Kotter," died. RIP, and wherever you are, I'm sure that you'll have a note. Signed "Epstein's Mom."

  2. Tara and Gail should be a good feud. Hopefully since the last time they wrestled it was a squash match. Alex Shelley, Zema Ion and Austin Aries have good personalities and serve a purpose in the division. Now to the other four or five guys that they have signed in the X division. I wish they would bring on Xplosion free on TNA to have further expansions of storyarcs so some of it has room to breathe.

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