TNA iMPACT results 12/17/09By thinksojoe · · Leave a Comment
So. There’s no matches mentioned in TNA’s preview of tonight’s show. A lot of talking segments. I hate reviewing talking segments. For what it’s worth, tomorrow’s my mom’s birthday, so, even though my mom probably has no idea that I run this site, happy birthday, Mom!
Recap: Mick Foley hunts down Jeff Jarrett, AJ Styles wonders who’s been attacking him, Kevin Nash sent Foley to meet with Hogan, and Daniels prevented Desmond Wolfe from winning the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.
Earlier Today: Jeremy Borash tries to talk Mick Foley out of something Hogan and Nash won’t like, but Foley attacks Nash in the empty iMPACT Zone.
Later to come, what happened when Mick Foley met Hulk Hogan? Also, Jeff Jarrett returns to the iMPACT Zone!
Last Week: Mick Foley met with Jeff Jarrett in a bar somewhere.
To The Back: Lauren tells us that Roxxi is coming back tonight. Roxxi says she’s been training in Mexico and doing fitness competitions. Up next, she’s facing ODB in a non-title match. Roxxi says that ODB is almost as unique as she is, but she’s the Knockouts Champion. Tonight, Roxxi is going to bring everything she’s got.
Later tonight, it’s a 10-Man tag team main event, but for now…
To The Back: JB asks Angle about the main event. Angle feels great and wants TNA to throw everything at him. He hasn’t lost since September in a 4 way match, and he doesn’t plan on losing anytime soon. His job won’t be done until he wins the title back, and if Desmond Wolfe thinks he’ll put a blemish on Angle’s record, he’s wrong. Borash asks about Jeff Jarrett. Angle turns his back.
Video: Tara becomes number one contender for the Knockout’s Championship.
Roxxi makes her way to the ring for the first time in several months. She’s followed out by the Knockout’s Champion, ODB, who will be her opponent for this evening.
Roxxi def. ODB
Opening bell on a show called Total Nonstop Action: 16 minutes into the show. Wow, we’ve seen a lot of action so far, let me tell you. Roxxi starts off on the offense here, looking like she hasn’t lost a step during her time away from TNA. ODB turns the tide, showing why she’s the Knockouts Champion. The match goes back and forth, and Roxxi scores a two off of a Voodoo Drop. A series of near falls ensues, and ODB tries to use her flask, but when the referee catches her, Roxxi rolls her up for the victory.
After the match, ODB attacks Roxxi with the flask, and Tara rushes out to the rescue.
Up next, Mick Foley and Jeremy Borash arrive in Los Angeles
Earlier This Week: Mick Foley and Jeremy Borash showed up on time to meet with Hulk Hogan in Los Angeles. Foley goes to meet Hogan, but he meets Lou Ferrigno instead. Get it? Lou Ferrigno? The Hulk? Get it? Hahaha. Nash sent Foley to meet Hulk. Hahahaha. Hilarious TNA, hilarious. Ferrigno says he wouldn’t like Foley when he’s angry.
Earlier today: Foley attacks Nash in the empty iMPACT Zone.
To The Back: Nash takes Borash’s mic and says that Foley made the biggest mistake of his life when he put his hands on him. He says that on January 4th, Hogan will be here live on iMPACT, and Foley will be unemployed.
To The Back: JB asks Mick about what Nash just said. Foley clarifies that Nash was talking about Hulk Hogan this time. Mick talks about circling the wagons. Abyss comes in and reminds Foley that he’s his ally. He then shows Mick his wounds. Foley says he hasn’t forgotten nor has he forgiven Raven and Dr. Stevie for what they’ve done to them, but he can’t be in two places at once. He says at Final Resolution he’ll be on Abyss’s side of Abyss is on his. Abyss says Raven and Dr. Stevie are done at Final Resolution.
To The Back: Lauren is with Morgan, Hernandez, Pope, and Suicide, who have a huge disadvantage when Hernandez has to face the entire other team at Final Resolution for five minutes before the rest of the team comes out. Morgan is convinced that Hernandez can handle himself. Morgan is facing Brother Ray in a Lumberjack Match tonight. Pope says that he can see the future, and it’s his team.
Rhino, Jesse Neal, and Team 3D make their way to the ring. Brother Ray is making Jesse Neal carry his IWGP Tag Team Championship belt for him. Morgan, Hernandez, and Pope head to the ring, and Suicide is nowhere to be found for a moment, but he catches up to them.
Brother Ray vs. Matt Morgan
Brother Ray takes advantage of the Lumberjacks, but Morgan doesn’t let that bother him too badly as he mounts a comeback. Then he takes advantage of the lumberjacks himself. Morgan hits a chokeslam on Brother Ray, but the referee gets distracted by Brother Devon. All hell breaks loose on the outside, and Morgan goes for his finisher, but Jesse Neal hits a low blow and allows Brother Ray to pick up the victory with a DDT.
Video Package: Jeff Jarrett
To the Parking Lot: Jeff Jarrett pulls up at the iMPACT Zone. Everybody stares at him as he walks by.
To The Back: Lauren talks to Beer Money Inc. about the Feast or Fired match at Final Resolution. Roode calls it a must win situation. Storm says they’re putting their status as the greatest tag team on the planet on the line to get a tag team title shot. Samoa Joe interrupts and says that he’s doing the same thing, but he deserves his shot. World Elite interrupt and tell Beer Money that he knows they’re upset, but they’re looking past the fact that Kyoshi, Bashir, Homicide, Rob Terry, himself, and Kevin Nash will all be in the match with the intent to keep Beer Money from winning.
The Beautiful People make their entrance to the iMPACT Zone. They’re in triple threat tag team action. As for their opponents, first out are Hamada and Awesome Kong, and finally, the TNA Knockout Tag Team Champions, Sarita and Taylor Wilde. Somewhere, Legend Killer is excusing himself for a bathroom break.
Hamada & Awesome Kong def. The Beautiful People and Sarita & Taylor Wilde in a triple threat match
Let Hamada and Sarita carry this match after the awesome match they had a couple weeks ago. That’s not going to happen. The Beautiful People try to dominate, but in all the craziness that this match devolves into, it’s Madison Rayne who gets squashed by Awesome Kong and loses it for her team.
For the record – there is NO iMPACT next week.
Lauren tries to get a word with the Beautiful People, but Lacey asks her why she doesn’t go find a backseat to crawl into. Lauren slaps her and walks away.
To The Back: Jarrett ponders why he came to the iMPACT Zone. Foley tells him that he wants to be here and needs to be here. Jarrett says he’s here to walk into Dixie’s office and give her a piece of his mind. Foley says a lot of people thought what Jarrett did was wrong, but the past is the past. He can walk into Dixie’s office and be proud, but what does that do for anybody. Foley says people know Jarrett founded TNA, and he needs to talk with Dixie because she’s the only one who can make things happen for all of them there. Jarrett needs to think about everybody’s future. It’s the right thing to do, and Jarrett’s the right guy to do it.
To The Back: Christy Hemme is with Jay Lethal who has a broom. He says it’s to sweep up the competition. He’ll take on any legend, and the world will feel the madness of Machismo.
Jay Lethal is here for action in the Jay Lethal invitational. Last month he lost to Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart. His opponent tonight is… TATANKA!
Tatanka def. Jay Lethal
Lethal has added a weight belt to his Randy Savage gear. Black Machismo fares a little better than he did against The Anvil, but he still loses.
To The Back: Christy Hemme is standing by with the Motor City Machine Guns. Chris Sabin is surprised that Christy noticed that they’ll be facing the British Invasion at Final Resolution. They’re the best team in the world, and they’ll prove it. Alex Shelley is proud that they’ve earned everything they’ve gotten in TNA. They’re made in Detroit, and they’ll beat the British Invasion at Final Resolution.
Backstage: Foley says he’ll go in and talk to Dixie for Jarrett if he wants him to. Jarrett says he’ll do it himself.
We get a rundown of the Final Resolution card. That’s this Sunday? I think I can cover it.
Backstage: Jeff Jarrett enters Dixie Carter’s office. He tells her that he’d like to have a chat with her about coming back to iMPACT. Dixie says they need to be crystal clear on the past before talking about his future. She says that him ending up with Kurt Angle’s wife and kids wasn’t what she had in mind when they signed Angle, which left her with no choice but to sideline Jarrett. He apologizes. She tells him that if he thinks the time is right, he needs to face Kurt and set things right with him.
Video Package: Desmond Wolfe’s TNA career thusfar
Daniels makes his way to the ring for action. His opponent tonight is the guy who he cost the World Heavyweight Championship last week, Desmond Wolfe.
Desmond Wolfe vs. Daniels ends in a time-limit draw
I used to say this more often when I was reviewing SmackDown, but sometimes, you just have to sit back and watch a wrestling match. This is one of those. This is a hell of a match, but unfortunately, it goes to the time limit.
Backstage: Jeff Jarrett prepares to apologize to Kurt Angle. He tells Foley he’s going in alone, but Foley says he doesn’t trust Angle so he’s going in with him. Jarrett apologizes, but Kurt, who is getting ready for his match, is less than receptive.
At this point, I had to get ready for work, so I stopped watching. But fear not, I can always get you at least an idea of what’s going on!
Kurt Angle, AJ Styles, Tomko, Bobby Lashley, and Abyss def. Raven, Dr. Stevie, Scott Steiner, and The British Invasion
All hell broke loose early on and this match devolved into a three on two handicapped match, with Angle, Styles, and Tomko left to face off with The British Invasion while Raven and Dr. Stevie brawled with Abyss and Scott Steiner brawled with Lashley elsewhere in the arena. The numbers game was too much for the TNA Tag Team Champions, and AJ Styles picked up the victory for his team.
After the match, Desmond Wolfe and Daniels attacked Styles and Angle, leaving them lying as iMPACT goes off the air for the last time before Final Resolution.
ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts: Here’s a thought. TNA Knockouts Champion ODB was in action tonight. TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions Sarita and Taylor Wilde were in action tonight. TNA Tag Team Champions The British Invasion were in action tonight. IWGP Tag Team Champions Team 3D were in action tonight. TNA Heavyweight Champion AJ Styles was in action tonight. The TNA X Division Champion – the division that TNA built the company around in the early days – was nowhere to be found. And this seems to be a running thing. I can’t remember when the last time I actually saw the X Division Champion on TV was, and in fact it took me a minute to even think of who the champion is at the moment. Believe it or not, it’s still Amazing Red.
This may be the last time I review iMPACT here on BoredWrestlingFan.com. We’re working on getting somebody else in here to take over on Thursday nights. He was going to start next Thursday, but there’s actually no iMPACT next Thursday. When he’s here, I’ll let you guys know for sure. Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you Saturday with a new ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts. Until then, be sure to check out tharvey1’s WWE Superstars review for this week, and Drowgoddess will be along with her SmackDown review tomorrow night.
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