Alright, it’s 8PM as I type this, so let’s cross the line!
Jeff Jarrett is in the iMPACT Zone and has something to say. This show stands for Total Nonstop Action. Jarrett isn’t going to talk about kicking Sting’s ass, he’s going to do it – RIGHT NOW! Jarrett leaves the ring and heads up to the rafters. The camera follows him, but he can’t seem to find Sting – finally he sees him. Sting tells the cameraman not to tell Jarrett where he is, but Jarrett finds him and tosses him down the steps. Sting starts to fight back, but to no avail. Jarrett beats Sting up all the way down the stairs, begging for an answer the whole time. They wind up on the ramp to the ring and Jarrett continues to beat on Sting. Back in the ring, Jarrett asks “why.” The lights go out, and when they come back on, Sting has his baseball bat and nails Jarrett with it. Sting beats down Jarrett with the bat, then Jeff Hardy’s music hits. Team Hogan hit the ring, and Sting bails.
To The Back!: JB is in the back with Team Flair. Flair says that Sting beat down Jarrett, and that’s a preview of how the night is going to go. In St. Louis, Team Flair will destroy Team Hogan and Hulkamania. Robert Roode reminds us about James Storm smashing a beer bottle over the head of Rob Van Dam and says tonight he’ll stop Jeff Hardy from flying. Desmond Wolfe says he’ll tame and maim Abyss tonight. Styles says it starts with he and Wolfe against Pope and Abyss, and it ends at Lockdown. There’s two things Pope can do about the beating he’s going to get – nothing, and like it.
Team 3D and Jesse Neal come out, and they say that they just got out of Hulk Hogan’s office. Hogan is just as pissed off at The Band as they are. So this will be a NYC Street Fight 6 man tag, and it’s NEXT!
The Band def. Team 3D in a New York City Street Fight
The match started during the break, and it’s a huge clusterf*#(. Team 3D dominate the match, nailing the What’s Up on Hall before calling for the tables. Brother Ray sets up the table, but Nash nails Neal with a kendo stick to the groin. Brother Ray sets up Syxx on a table, but Bubba The Love Sponge distracts him, allowing SyxxPac to put Brother Ray through the table with an X-Factor, picking up the pinfall victory.
Eric Young hits the ring and chases The Band off with a hockey stick. He challenges Nash to a steel cage match. At Lockdown. Can you imagine such a thing? A steel cage match at Lockdown? I just can’t picture that. I don’t see how it fits in. It’s preposterous.
To The Back! Christy Hemme asks Hulk Hogan how he feels going into Lockdown. Hogan says things could be better. Team Hogan will be there and they’ll prevail. Hogan sees Bischoff talking to Flair around the corner. He excuses Christy and asks Bischoff what that was about. Bischoff asks Hogan if he’s really jumping to conclusions. Hogan says they’ll talk about it in his office.
Shannon Moore is here for X-Division action. He’ll be taking on Kazarian and his Metallica logo tights.
Shannon Moore vs. Kazarian
An excellent back and forth matchup between two of the X-Division’s top stars. Douglas Williams heads down to watch the match from the broadcast booth. The X-Division Champion puts over the athleticism of his counterparts, but says that his technical style is what got him the title. Moore hits a moonsault to the outside, but can’t get the pinfall when they wind up back in. The two men exchange several near falls, but the match goes to a time limit draw.
After the match, Kazarian and Moore shake hands. Douglas Williams is surprised to see them kiss and make up. He says he’ll put an end to this nonsense at LockDown. Moore and Kazarian chase him off.
To The Back! JB asks Velvet Sky about her upcoming Leather and Lace match. Velvet says the match isn’t for the Knockouts Championship, because they’ll have a tag match at LockDown with both the Knockouts Championship and the Knockouts Tag Team Championship on the line. The first one stripped to her underwear loses tonight.
Hogan asks Bischoff what’s going on with him. Bischoff says he deals with things his way. Hogan wonders what was up with Bischoff and Flair conniving in the corner? Bischoff says he’s trying to gain Flair’s confidence to help Hogan. Hogan seems disgusted as Bischoff leaves. Jay Lethal comes in and says something has to be done about the band. Hogan asks if they played “Be A Man Hulk.” Lethal says he’ll change the name to “Be A Man Flair.” Lethal wants Hogan to lace up the boots to take out The Band. Hogan says if Lethal can find his trunks, they’ll do that after Lockdown.
To The Back: JB is with Angelina Love, who isn’t shocked about the Leather and Lace match choice. She didn’t come to TNA to parade around like a prostitute, she came to prove she’s the best. Tara wonders if “the best” means winning the Knockouts title with a key. JB tells them they need to coexist at iMPACT. Tara says you keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
To The Back! Christy is standing by with The Pope and Abyss. Pope says Lockdown will be his defining moment. Abyss says he won’t let Hogan down.
Angelina Love is out first for this Leather and Lace match. Velvet Sky comes out, and declares this won’t be a Leather and Lace match, because we don’t deserve to see her goodies. This is going to be Angelina handcuffed in the ring while Velvet kicks her ass. It’s NEXT!
Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love
Angelina actually starts on the offense, but Velvet nails her with the Knockouts title. Velvet remembers that this is also an “I Quit” match. Velvet starts the beatdown, choking Angelina with own hair. Angelina won’t quit, despite the beatdown from Velvet Sky. Velvet wonders if she strips Angelina naked if she’ll quit. She rips Angelina’s shirt off, but Angelina still refuses to quit. The Beautiful People come out and continue the beatdown, but Tara runs down to make the save.
Tara uncuffs Angelina, who tries to shake her hand. Tara looks at her in disgust and walks away.
To The Back! Abyss is laid out in the parking lot.
Christy says Abyss was hit by a car. We don’t know his injuries, but he’s conscious and talking to Hulk Hogan.
To The Back! JB asks Matt Morgan how he’ll defend the Tag Team Championships. Morgan is pissed off that “we are” being forced to find a partner. So he did. The Amazing Red.
Matt Morgan & The Amazing Red def. The Motor City Machine Guns to retain the TNA Tag Team Championships
Morgan dominates in the early going. He dominates us all the way to a…
Red is controlling this match for the Tag Team Champions when we come back. He winds up outside of the ring and runs face first into a Chris Sabin boot. Sabin can’t capitalize, but the Machine Guns double team Red to take control of the match. Morgan tags himself in, and Alex Shelley goes after him, to no avail. The Blueprint dominates both Machine Guns at the same time. The Guns finally start to take over, but even with both of them covering Morgan, they can’t pin him. Morgan tags in Red, who doesn’t fare much better. Morgan finally gets involved and takes out Sabin with a discus clothesline. Red hits the Code Red on Sabin, pinning him as Morgan goes for the Hellevator on Shelley.
After the match, Morgan attacks Red, apparently for stealing some of his spotlight. He sets Red’s head up against the ringpost, but Chris Sabin saves Red from the Carbon Footprint.
To The Back! They’re getting ready to load Abyss in the ambulance. We’ll see surveillance video from the scene, NEXT!
We see the surveillance footage of Abyss being hit by a car. The guy in the car looked a bit like Triple H – but I don’t think that’s what TNA intended.
Robert Roode is here first for his match. We find out that he’s going to kick off LockDown in a match against RVD, where the winner will get the advantage for his team in the Lethal Lockdown match. Hardy heads out next, and we’re set for action.
Robert Roode vs. Jeff Hardy
I just don’t care. I simply do not care. I’m so bored with Jeff Hardy in TNA that I can’t get into one of his matches, even if it is against one of my favorite TNA wrestlers, Robert Roode of Beer Money. Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate, but Roode shoves him off and nails a spinebuster. Hardy nails Roode with a stunner, then goes for the Swanton, but James Storm distracts him. Hardy shoves Roode back to the canvas, however, and manages to hit the Swanton to pick up the victory.
After the match, Storm attacks Hardy. He spits a fireball in the face off Jeff Hardy – apparently. TNA froze the screen before it happened. RVD makes his way out and tries to make the save, but the numbers game is too much for him.
BWF reader @clusterfuck18 was in the iMPACT zone and tells us…
@clusterfuck18 @BrdWrstlngFn yeah when James storm was trying to do it his lighter wouldn’t light. He tried like 5 times. Quite funny considering..
@clusterfuck18 @BrdWrstlngFn oh and after he did get it to work, you could smell something burning. Was horrible.
Apparently, we can see the fireball incident on TNAWrestling.com after the show. I’ll have to check that out.
Promo video: Kurt Angle vs. Mr. Anderson
To The Back: Abyss may not make it for tonight’s match. Pope says he’ll walk into… Jay Lethal interrupts and says Reverend Slick will walk into a tag match. He can take care of The Model, Lethal’s got the Dynamite Kid.
Dog The Bounty Hunter is apparently still relevant, and he’s in the front row.
The Pope is out first for his team, and he makes it rain. Black Machismo’s music hits, but he’s too busy getting his ass kicked by Beer Money Inc. in the back. He actually held his own until Storm smashes a beer bottle over his head. The TNA Heavyweight Champion, AJ Styles heads to the ring, accompanied by Ric Flair and Chelsea. Styles gets a microphone from Flair and says that Pope’s partner has a bit of a drinking problem. So, it’s a handicap match. Desmond Wolfe makes his entrance, and it looks like Styles is right about this being a handicap match. At least, it does until Hulk Hogan takes out Wolfe with a chair. Pope attacks Styles on the entrance ramp, and it looks like we’re even up here. Mike Tenay reports that TNA trainers say that Jeff Hardy is ok. Back in the ring, Styles takes over on D’Angelo Dinero, but that doesn’t last long. I never heard a bell here, so I guess this isn’t a match. Pope sets up for the DDE, but Flair stands up from his wheelchair and knocks Pope out with the TNA Championship. Flair and Styles beat down on Dinero, then Beer Money come down to join in the fray. Flair whips Pope with his belt. Styles dumps Pope over the top rope and to the floor. Hogan comes out from the back, and Flair invites him down. Hogan just stands there as iMPACT goes off the air.
My Thoughts: It wasn’t that great. I mean, there was some cool stuff here on the show, and it’s a lot better than it had been. I’m liking the alliance between Beer Money, AJ Styles, and Desmond Wolfe – a potential Four Horsemen caliber stable if I ever saw one. I’m disappointed that the fireball was edited out, but thankfully I have the internet and can look it up on TNA’s website later on. Thanks for reading!
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