TNA “Impact Review (11/6/08) & “Turning Point” PredictionsBy Drowgoddess · · Leave a Comment
TNA “Impact” Review (11/6/08) and “Turning Point” PPV Predictions
Greetings all, and welcome to the first of many TNA “Impact” reviews for boredwrestlingfan.com! Actually, it just looked bad not to have our own reviews posted…. In any case, as my hero Spider Jerusalem put it, “journalism is for the madly passionate,” and no review posted under the category of “Drowgoddess” makes the slightest pretext of being impartial and unbiased. Really, what fun would that be? Now that we’re all clear on that point, away we go!
In the words of my Thursday night comrades, let’s cross the line, people! It’s been commented on many times before, but the new opening video and music, as well as the new set, make such a tremendous difference. The show opens with the entrance of the Main Event Mafia. Booker T sports his ring gear, as opposed to the others in their stylin’ suits. Olympic gold medalist (in case you had forgotten) Kurt Angle addresses the audience, and introduces their “hit man,” Big Poppa Pump, Scott Steiner. In the world of professional wrestling, there is and will forever be only one “Hit man.” It is not you, Steiner. But I digress. The idea really works for him, if they have to use him at all. Steiner actually looks the part, though someone should point out to Mike Tenay that the “custom-made tuxedo” that he claims Steiner is wearing is, in fact, not even close to a tuxedo, but is a black dress suit. There is a difference. Even straight men know this. The Main Event Mafia receives considerable cheers, far too many for them to be viewed as heels by the audience. This needs some work. Some people hate the Main Event Mafia music, but I’m digging it.
Steiner proceeds to talk at length about “respect.” He refers to the wrestling business and respect, saying that “we love it and we’ve earned it.” He lists off major venues all over the world where the MEM have wrestled. He then turns that notorious Steiner verbicide on the younger guys in the back, claiming that they all go backstage and grab their “joysticks,” play video games, talk to each other online, and rush off to “mark” websites to see if they got a four-star or a five-star match when they should be asking the veterans like the MEM what quality of match they had. He would happily tell them all that they suck. He runs down AJ Styles, telling him that he could go back to his redneck state of Georgia and his little redneck town, put on a sandwich board, and walk down the main street, and no one would know who he was. He told Samoa Joe to fly back to Samoa, and people would ask who the fat guy was. They’d ask who the half-breed was. And so on.
Joe comes out, backed up by most of the Young Lions from last week. He tells Steiner that if they could understand half of what he was saying, they’d probably get offended. He tells the MEM that while they had wrestled all over the world, so had the guys standing with him. The Ultimate X matches in TNA? That was them! The high-flying, daredevil, acrobatic style that made TNA different from all the other companies? That was them! In short, the Young Lions (I know it isn’t official, but they need a name, and it’s a short one to type) had done things that the MEM couldn’t do on their best days. Joe commends the MEM for their latest recruit, and announces that they have one of their own. He wants to introduce them to his newest soldier. Christian Cage’s music plays, and he comes out. Christian reminds Joe that he is not choosing a side, but that he is willing to lend a helping hand. Booker T didn’t just walk into the wrestling business and become a six-time world champion. Christian himself didn’t just walk in and get handed two world title reigns. He “busted his ass” for everything he got, and he wants to see the young guys get the same opportunities that the “Legends” had. He tells Booker (who loses the accent by the end again) that after their match at “Turning Point,” he will stand over him and say “I am Legend.”
To the back! JB meets Mick Foley and AJ Styles coming in from the parking lot. Mick wanted to talk with AJ, but never got around to saying what he wanted to say. They had to make an important stop. JB laughs about taking a “Kurt” and wiping his “Angle.” Mick tells him that they stopped at a hospital to visit a sick child, and that JB was an insensitive jerk. Mick says that what he had to say to AJ was also meant for everyone else, so he’ll bring it to the ring. Mick walks away, leaving AJ to stare at JB and say, “ I have no idea why I rose with him.” I have no idea why this segment was necessary.
Match #1: Beer Money Inc. (with Jacqueline) and Booker T (with Sharmell) vs. the Motor City Machine Guns and Christian Cage. YES! Alex Shelley starts the match against Robert Roode, but quickly tags out to Chris Sabin. Sabin takes considerable punishment from his opponents for a very long time before nailing a spinning kick to the head of James Storm, fighting his way back to his corner, and tagging in the Instant Classic. Christian Cage and Robert Roode go at it, but James Storm steps in to help out his tag team partner. Christian plants both members of Beer Money with a double DDT. Storm gets another DDT. Christian goes for a frog splash, but misses when Robert Roode shoves him from the top turnbuckle. Christian gets another chance shortly, and hits Booker T with the afore-mentioned frog splash, but Booker kicks out at 2. Booker goes for the axe kick, but Christian dodges back and makes the Legends champ eat canvas. Beer Money comes in and works over Christian, but Sabin and Shelley jump in and go after them. Beer Money hits the floor, and Shelley flips over the top rope, landing on them. His momentum isn’t strong enough, and they catch him. Sabin takes this moment to suicide dive between the second and third ropes to send Beer Money crashing down. Jackie distracts the referee, while Sharmell tosses Booker the Legends title. Booker hits Christian with the Legends title and gets the pin. After the match, Sabin and Shelley check on Christian. Good match, but too short.
WINNERS BY PINFALL: Beer Money Inc. and Booker T (with Jacqueline and Sharmell)
Cut to Jeff Jarrett’s office. JB asks him about Angle coming back there. Jarrett says that Angle can come to his office any time, just like every other TNA employee. JB asks if Jarrett is concerned. Jarrett says that as founder of TNA, he has many more things to worry about besides Kurt Angle. He will decide if and when he returns to the ring, not Kurt. At some point, Angle comes in and yells at Jarrett. He threatens to “pay a visit” to Jarrett’s young daughters again.
To the back! Awesome Kong and Raisha Saeed stomp a bloody mudhole in Roxxi, who was scheduled to team with Taylor Wilde against the two of them later tonight. Note to Mike Tenay and Don West: Under no circumstances should you say that Kong and Saeed “have killed her.” They haven’t. Somewhere, JohnnyCraze will weep most piteously if he thought it were true. Don’t do that to him.
Time to pimp Kurt Angle’s dvd that comes out on November 25th. Why bother with promoting the 3-pack of ppv dvds that comes out on November 11th when you can shove more Kurt Angle down everyone’s throats? It’s not like you have any other talent on the roster worth paying to see….
Roxxi has been left bleeding in the back. Supposedly, it’s from her neck, but it looked like a gash in her upper back. Either way, she’s off to a local medical facility, and will not be wrestling tonight.
Match #2: 4-way tag team ladder match for a Tag Team title shot: Tanahashi & Volador vs. Matt Morgan & Abyss vs. Team 3D vs. LAX. Why must you cut to a commercial break as soon as all the guys are in the ring? Everyone fights everyone. Team 3D eventually gets control over LAX in the ring. Abyss and Matt Morgan come back in, and throw Team 3D out. After a commercial break, LAX has taken control of the match. Hernandez receives the “Wazzup?” from Team 3D. Hernandez dives to the outside, but ends up taking a ladder, and himself out of the rest of the match. Homicide and Brother Devon remain in the ring. Homicide puts up a ladder and climbs toward the contract, but Abyss reaches him first and nails him with the Shock Treatment. Brother Ray rushes the ring and actually hit Abyss with a choke slam. Tanahashi returns for his team, and proceeds to clean house on everyone. He misses a frog splash, and gets a 3D for his trouble. Team 3D had the match won until Beer Money ran in and stopped them from climbing up the ladder and grabbing the title shot contract by hitting them in the groin. Or groins. This allowed Abyss to climb the ladder and get the contract. This means that Matt Morgan and Abyss, who are simply not gelling for me as a tag team, get a title shot. *Sigh*
WINNERS & #1 CONTENDERS FOR TAG TEAM TITLES: Matt Morgan and Abyss
To the back! Mick Foley is walking. He comes out to the ring and calls down AJ Styles. Mick talks up AJ, about all the great things he heard about him. “Your buddy Raven” seems to have described AJ to Mick as “phenomenal.” Mick explains AJ’s “Triple Crown” history, and it’s about friggin’ time someone did! Mick further refers to AJ as TNA’s “president-elect” for the new generation of wrestlers, and hopes that Sting will come to his senses. This brings out the Icon in full force (and make-up). Sting claims that he has spoken the truth from Day One, and that the young guys will disrespect Mick the same way they disrespected Sting. Sting further claims that you can only tell the young guys what they want to hear, or there are tantrums. They want to be fed with a silver spoon and have everything given to them. When AJ challenges this, Sting brings up AJ’s father kicking him out of the house at the age of fifteen. He asks what little AJ will think, seeing daddy throw such pathetic tantrums on tv. Mick physically restrains a furious AJ as Sting leaves. The number of times that Sting says the name of the person to whom he is speaking is unreal. It should be a drinking game. I couldn’t watch “Impact” until Friday evening, though.
To the back! A rather bad Taylor Wilde promo. She’s going to go out and fight Awesome Kong and Raisha Saeed by herself. “This one’s for you, Roxxi!” Um, ok. For no apparent reason, Rhaka Khan shows up. She and Taylor try to stand nose-to-nose, but it comes out nose-to-boobs, and just looks awkward. Jeebus, Rhaka Khan is tall when compared to Taylor Wilde! Gimmick infringement is seemingly not a problem any longer, as Rhaka Khan refers to Taylor’s “suicide mission” and says that she needs a “weapon of mass destruction.” Oh, she meant herself. Gotcha. They head for the ring.
Match #3: Awesome Kong and Raisha Saeed vs. Taylor Wilde and Rhaka Khan. Taylor Wilde enters first. No one really seems to care. Rhaka Khan has a new entrance video, which is actually rather neat. Taylor and Kong start off. Taylor’s usual tricks do not work this time. Kong tags in Saeed, and Taylor gives as good as she gets, but then Kong comes back in and the double-teaming commences. Saeed steps out, and we’re back to Kong and Taylor. Taylor tags in Rhaka Khan, who faces off with Kong before turning to Taylor and choke-slamming her. Rhaka Khan throws Taylor to Kong for an Implant Buster and the win. Khan and Kong smile after the match, such as it was.
WINNERS BY PINFALL: Awesome Kong and Raisha Saeed
To the back! JB interviews Kevin Nash. Is “Big Sexy” ready for his Sunday ppv match with Joe? Nash retorts that he knew Samoa Joe “was a piece of shit” when he talked trash about Scott Hall a year ago. He’s fought Samoa Joes before, but Joe has never faced anything like him before. He’s bigger, stronger, vastly more experienced, and he’s been training like mad. Joe has never fought anything like a reinvigorated Nash. He asks if Joe is ready for what’s coming to him. Nash’s best talking in quite a while, but one thing nags at me. A silver-haired 6’10” wrecking machine just admitted that he spent a year planning and carrying out stabbing you in the back and causing you to lose your title because you said something bad about his best friend a year ago. Why don’t the announcers or the Young Lions point out how junior-high-girl this is?
On to a Mike Tenay sit-down with the X-Division champion, Sheik Abdul Bashir. Right away, Tenay takes Bashir to task over the constant barrage of anti-American sentiments that have poured forth from Bashir since he first showed up. Bashir is very calm and repeats that he was born in America, he has had some opportunities here, and that his citizenship gives him the right to say whatever he wants to about America and the people in it, even if they don’t like to hear it. He talks about life for a guy who looks like him in post 9/11 America. He talked about being a fan favorite everywhere TNA goes outside of America, and being respected for his in-ring skills. Tenay came across as extremely belligerent and overly aggressive in his questioning, which was more argumentative than it has been with anyone else. Bluntly, Tenay was a complete prick. Anyone who remembers the attempt to make WCW Mike Tenay a sexist jackass by talking down to Midajah knows how this whole thing came off. It ended in a shouting match with Bashir being removed from the set by security as he shouted at Tenay in Farsi. They bill him as Iranian, so I’m presuming that’s his other language. Please correct me if I’m wrong.
Next, a quick rundown of the card for “Turning Point.” Several of these matches should have been pushed more before tonight.
Match #4: the Main Event Mafia (Kurt Angle, Kevin Nash, & Sting) vs. the Young Lions (Eric Young, “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal, and Consequences Creed). As soon as all participants have made their entrances, we go to a commercial break. I came back just in time to see Nash and Lethal going at it, with Lethal being pwned by all three members of the MEM. Lethal manages to tag in Eric Young, who is suddenly able to get nearfalls on both Sting and Angle. Young tags in Creed, who superkicks Nash. Angle sneaks in an Angle Slam on Creed, and pins him for the win.
WINNERS BY PINFALL: Main Event Mafia (Kurt Angle, Kevin Nash, & Sting)
After another commercial break, we return to a screaming Rhino promo. He talks about his match against Sheik Abdul Bashir. “I will deport you via Gore! Gore! Gore!” Um, WTF???
A voiceover of the Samoa Joe/Kevin Nash history leads us into the final match of the night.
Match #5: Scott Steiner vs. Samoa Joe. Joe starts off totally dominating Steiner, and gets a 2-count. With the referee looking at Steiner’s face, Steiner mule kicks Joe in the groin. Steiner then takes control of the match and suplexes Joe. We go to commercial break. Joe gains control of the match and gets another 2-count on Steiner. Nash “sneaks” down to ringside and distracts Joe long enough for Steiner to hit him. Joe quickly recovers and suicide dives through the ropes onto Nash! While Joe is occupied with Nash, Steiner gets out brass knuckles. Steiner hits Joe with the brass knuckles and gets the 3-count.
WINNER BY PINFALL: Scott Steiner
Nash beats on Joe post-match, but AJ Styles runs down to the ring, swinging a chair. Nash bails out of the ring, but the MEM come out smiling and applauding. Joe and AJ are left in the ring as we end with Disturbed’s “Indestructible” video package of the card for “Turning Point.”
PREDICTIONS FOR “TURNING POINT”:
- 10-Man Rankings match for the X-Division Title. This match involves Sonjay Dutt, Eric Young, “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal, Petey Williams, Jimmy Rave, Homicide, Doug Williams, Tanahashi, and Volador. Considering recent pushes, the top five in no particular order will probably be Lethal, Young, Tanahashi, Petey, and Volador. I just have a feeling that Homicide will be seeing more action than this match on Sunday.
- Knockouts Tag Team match. Awesome Kong and Raisha Saeed vs. Taylor Wilde and Roxxi. One of two things will happen here. Roxxi gets the pin on Kong, the faces win, and Roxxi gets a title shot soon. Otherwise, Rhaka Khan’s interference gets the heels the win, and we get a Rhaka Khan/Taylor Wilde feud. I’m pulling for Bachelorette #1.
- Grudge Match. Rhino vs. Shiek Abdul Bashir. This whole thing is stupid. Since the X-Division title isn’t on the line, Rhino pretty much has to win this.
- Falls Count Anywhere match. Kurt Angle vs. Abyss. Angle wins.
- Legends Title match. Christian Cage vs. Booker T. As much as I would LOVE to see Christian win this, it’s too soon. They just introduced the Legends Title, and Christian has been vocal about never choosing the Main Event Mafia even if he did choose a side. Sharmell’s involvement, or some other offbeat shenanigans, will cost Christian the match, and he’ll have to join the Main Event Mafia. That’s pretty much the only way this match can go. Infinitely more storyline potential.
- Tag Team Title match. Beer Money Inc. vs. the Motor City Machine Guns. Let me be clear. The Motor City Machine Guns are my favorite tag team. I would cheerfully drive a busload of elderly nuns and disabled war orphans over the edge of a cliff to their fiery doom for Chris Sabin. I would love nothing more than to see the Guns win. It’s their first title shot. All that being so, I think Beer Money retains. Don’t get me wrong, Beer Money is awesome, much more so than I thought they would be at first. Largely, this prediction is because Abyss and Matt Morgan won the Number One Contenders spot for the tag belts. However, the Guns could still win. They’re wild cards in this whole war, after all. Oh, hell, just let the Guns win, pretty pretty please??????
- Revenge match. Samoa Joe vs. Kevin Nash. Of all the “Young Lions” matches, this is the one they’re most likely to win. Since Nash has been plotting for a whole year, Joe can win here and prove his ability to lead by doing so. He needs the win, and few people really believe that even an invigorated Kevin Nash is a match for a pissed off Samoa Joe.
- World Heavyweight Title match. Sting vs. AJ Styles. Sting retains, albeit through trickery. AJ needs to win a match LIKE this, but this particular match is too soon. The story is still very new. AJ will be the champ again, but I don’t think it’s happening tonight.
Phew! That’s it for this week. Catch you next week for more TNAwesomeness!
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