TNA Impact Wrestling 03/10/2013; I’m Ill And Half AssingBy Noyce · · Leave a Comment
I’m tired and I’m ill. I’m actually half assing this stuff. I mean it this time.
AJ comes out to start the show and references what happened last week, but he’s not here to talk about Hogan or Dixie, he’s here to talk about Bully Ray. He remembered that he has a match with Bully and there’s been no interaction between them yet. He’s not even looked at the world title in over a year, and disagrees Bully is the most dangerous man in the building. Bully comes out and mocks AJ, saying a true champion doesn’t “hope”, they KNOW they’re going to win and Dixie is so in AJ’s head he’s doubting himself. Bully runs down all the people he’s taken out which did make him sound kinda impressive. AJ has nothing Bully wants but he does want to take AJ away from the fans. AJ hits back, saying Bully is no better than Dixie because he uses people and then kicks them to the curb. Bully takes it as a compliment and really runs down AJ. If I wasn’t so tired I’d have told you what he said, it was pretty awesome. AJ tells Bully to prepare for his match, but Bully isn’t aware of having one. AJ starts chanting “Joe’s gonna kill you.”, letting us know that Bully is fighting Samoa Joe and Hogan didn’t let him know.
Backstage with AJ and Dixie. Dixie has AJ escorted out the building because he’s said enough and only has the final obligation of his last match left.
Kenny King and Frail Sabin vs Manik and Jeff Hardy
Austin Aries is on commentary for this which was pretty cool. Sabin started off with Manik and instantly tagged King in and the heels heeled all over Manik. Thanks to their boots it was literally too. Manik fights back and brings in Hardy who goes to work on King and tags Manik in and makes King bleed. After a while of me not paying attention, Hardy gets a hot tag and unleashes his inner Kenny King by taking his shirt off. That’s a subtle reference for you guys. Things get out of control in the ring and it ends with Manik and Hardy hitting a double team for the win. I paid too much attention to this stuff.
Post match Sabin throws Hardy out the ring and attacks Manik. Aries runs into the ring and chases Sabin off. Aries grabs a microphone and makes a four way match between Manik, himself, Hardy and Sabin. Hardy makes it an Ultimate X match, saying that he’s never done one before and wants to do something he’s never done.
Backstage with Hogan and Sting. Sting compares Dixie’s power trip to Bischoff’s and asks Hogan what’s going on. Hogan says that Dixie is worse than Bischoff and Sting says he has Hogan’s back. Some random girl walks in and gives Hogan a gift from Dixie Carter. Hogan thinks it’s a coffin at first but it turns out to be a watch that she gave Sting. The commentators debate if it’s a retirement gift or a bribe.
There’s a clip from last Thursday of Magnus telling Sting he wants all of EGO on his own to set up the Gauntlet match he’s in tonight.
Magnus vs EGO
Daniels is the first member of EGO out and I think this is an actual Gauntlet match. This is pretty much confirmed as Magnus comes out. I wouldn’t mind if they hadn’t just had a match that let it be known they mean battle royal when they say gauntlet. Stuff happens, the exchange blows, and it ends with Magnus countering the Best Moonsault Ever and getting the win. Kaz comes out next and takes his time getting into the ring. Magnus grabs him and tosses him (cocktalk!) into the ring.
During the break Kaz was getting pummelled by Magnus and this kinda continues when we get back. Kaz gets some offense in occasionally though. Magnus hits a top rope elbow but Kaz gets a rope break to break the pin. Magnus locks in the Cloverleaf and Kaz taps.
Roode comes out almost immediately. Kaz attacks Magnus from behind, clipping the back of his leg and attacking his knee. We go to break with Roode focusing his attack on the injured knee and we come back from it with the same stuff happening. Roode dominates Magnus for a while but Magnus manages to hit some desperation moves and goes for the Cloverleaf again. He locks it in but Roode fights his way out of it by attacking the injured knee. Roode locks the crossface in and Magnus drags his sorry British ass to the ropes. He almost makes it but Roode pulls him back and turns it into an ankle lock to make Magnus tap. Magnus still looked pretty impressive taking out two guys and holding out for so long with an injured ankle.
Magnus flips out post match and Sting comes out to talk him down. It wouldn’t be too bad if Magnus turned heel I guess. It would set up the match between him and AJ for the title. Sting grabs a mic and tells Magnus to go to the back so he can calm down and they can talk about it. Magnus says no. He’s had enough. All the Mafia see something in Magnus but he feels that he doesn’t have it in him. When the Mafia were given the chance they all took it but he can only get so close. Sting tells him not to look at the bad stuff but Magnus interrupts him. Magnus says you’re either in or out, wrasslin is a results driven business and he hasn’t been getting results. Sting says he needed that big match at one point and Flair gave it to him. Magnus asks Sting who’s gonna put him, Magnus, on the map and Sting says he’ll do it at Bound For Glory. When I first heard about this match I wasn’t too sure about it but I like this angle. It’s a respect angle with Sting giving Magnus the shot he knows he deserves. It doesn’t matter if it’s Mafia vs Mafia or whatever.
Aries is backstage paying a visit to Hogan. Aries has a present for Hogan and it’s some vegan vitamins. Aries appreciates the opportunity Hogan gave him when he gave him option C and allowed him to become champion. Aries references the black and white Hollywood Hogan and says that his decision tonight is also black and white. Hogan says he gets it and Aries leaves him alone.
Video package of Hogan’s time in TNA, including the match between Sting and Hogan when Sting became a face again. I remember watching that match. I wish I didn’t.
Backstage segment with Frail Sabin. Apparently Velvet has a match that Sabin won’t be in her corner for. Sabin doesn’t need to be out there because Velvet is tough enough and doesn’t need him there. Instead he’s going to drink his diet soda and meditate or some shit.
Backstage segment with EGO. Daniels and Kaz sing, and parody, Roode’s entrance music. Roode calls it a group effort and Kaz says there’s no I in EGO. Somewhere in the building Magnus is crying too according to Daniels. Kaz and Daniels tease an announcement and Kaz says he’s going to be inducted into the hall of fame. The most prestigious Hall of Fame ever. Not the WWE hall of fame. Not the TNA hall of fame…but the EGO hall of fame. They have a group love in and parody Roode’s music again. That was just…there are no words. It was damn good though.
Brooke vs Velvet Sky
Brooke is actually introduced as a member of Aces and Eights and Velvet is out in regular clothing including a generic Impact shirt. Maybe she’s been out the ring so long she forgot she has ring gear. Lei’D Tapa comes out to the ring before the match starts and takes out Velvet Sky, screaming and yelling as she does so.
Random segment out of nowhere that seemed to be setting up the coming of Ethan.
Video package on Storm and Gunner. Unlike Cena, Gunner is an actual former marine. He’s ex-military at least.
Video package on the life and career of Kurt Angle setting up his induction in the hall of fame.
Samoa Joe vs Bully Ray
Things start off slow with the two of them failing to overpower eachother. Bully berates Joe in the corner and Joe fights back and they go back to tying up and strikes, complete with Joe’s 1000 hit punch combo and pele kick. Bully grabs the chain and the ref takes it off of him so Bully just hits a low blow instead.
The low blow allowed Bully to take control of the match and dominate. The pair trade blows and Joe comes out on top. Literally as he gets a two count. Bully sends Joe into the ref and Bully taps to a rear naked choke. Of course it doesn’t matter because the ref is down. I hope the only reason Bully tapped was to get Joe to let go and he wasn’t actually tapping to a rest hold. Bully grabs the chain and hits a double axe handle from the corner but the ref sees the chain and calls for a DQ and Joe is declared the winner. Bully shoves Hebner, the ref, down to the mat and throws Joe out the ring. Bully teases giving Joe a pile driver directly onto the concrete but AJ runs out for the save and runs away again as security comes after him. Of course he stops to celebrate with the fans and he gets his music played.
Dixie vs Hulk Hogan.
Dixie comes out first and I don’t know if it’s new or not, but she has music now. She says it’s people like her that understand that people like the fans don’t understand how business works. She can’t be mad at the fans becuase they simply don’t know anything business. She calls out Hogan and he comes out. Dixie thanks him and says Hogan has had a great career but if he wants to take it to another level he needs Dixie. She asks Hogan if he’s ready to take a ride on the Dixie train and Hogan’s reaction was priceless. But remember, he only sleeps with his daughter and the wife of his best friend. Dixie says something and Hogan thanks her for the watch as a “Dixie Train” chant starts.
Hogan says he’s dreamed about being part of a power couple in the business and being with a beautiful woman like Dixie. He says it’s amazing how high they could get, implying one of them was already high. My guess is Dixie. At the end of the day though, it’s an amazing offer for somebody else. Hogan says he quits and throws the mic down on the ground. He walks out and Dixie fails to stop him, begging him to stay. As he walks out she says she didn’t want him anyway and he’s fired and the show goes off the air.
Thoughts? I really don’t think Hogan is done. I wouldn’t be surprised if he came back in a few months or so. I wouldn’t be too surprised if he didn’t sign a new deal, but I don’t think we’ll be seeing him anywhere else any time soon. The show actually managed to make me kinda excited for Bound For Glory. At first I didn’t care because AJ and Bully was really the only match, and they didn’t care about it, but now they’ve started building it properly. They’ve also added a few more matches and I can say I’m looking forward to the Sting and Magnus match, as well as the Ultimate X match.
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