Wassupwiddit? The Empress of “Impact” is here, with boredwrestingfan.com’s review of TNA’s November ppv offering, “Turning Point.” Better late than never, right? Will Samoa Joe cripple Kevin Nash more than Nash himself already has? Will AJ Styles cut Sting’s World title reign short? Will the Motor City Machine Guns finally make their mark on the Tag Team division with a title victory? Does anyone actually care about Rhino and Sheik Abdul Bashir? In the words of JT and ThinkSo Joe, let’s cross the line, people!

The pre-show video packages highlighting the matches are pretty good. Can we please hire a writer with some actual experience in dialogue? Samoa Joe should NEVER be said to have been “jilted” by Kevin Nash, in any context. Ever. The music works, though I’m a fan of Disturbed in the first place. The main focus is on AJ/Sting, Joe/Nash, and the presence of the Main Event Mafia in general.

We open with good ol’ JB, Jeremy Borash, standing outside near a stretch Hummer limo. The Main Event Mafia gets out of the afore-mentioned limo, and walks past JB, completely ignoring his questions. Scott Steiner condescends to have a few words with JB, and rehashes much of his promo from last week’s “Impact.” He talks about the younger guys not having what it takes to step in the ring with the Main Event Mafia, and walks away, shouting at JB to “get our bags!” Poor JB is left alone, staring at the limo door.

Match #1: 10-man rankings match for X-Division #1 Contender. The audio is echoing and just weird. All ten guys enter to some generic music, one right after the other. No personal entrances. It’s Consequences Creed, Sonjay Dutt (with SoCal Val), Petey Williams (who may still be blonde, but sports no Steiner –esque gear), Jimmy Rave, Volador, Eric Young, Doug Williams, Tanahashi, Homicide, and “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal.  Tenay mentions that this match will be contested under luche libre rules, meaning that if a man exits the ring, any other competitor can enter the ring without a tag being made.

Lots of fast-paced action and quick tags here. Creed and Rave begin. Dutt tags in and goes after Rave. Lethal tags in and goes after Dutt. Dutt escapes to the floor and kisses Val. Lethal dives out onto the floor, taking out Dutt. Tanahashi and Homicide enter the ring and have a go. In rapid succession, we get Doug Williams and Petey Williams fighting, followed by Volador and Eric Young fighting, and Lethal replacing Eric Young against Volador. Dutt tags in and attacks Lethal. Dutt and Volador go. Volador hits a HUGE super hurricanrana from the top rope and eliminates Dutt. SONJAY DUTT: #10. Rave enters the fray to go after Volador. Rave hits “Rock the World” on Volador and eliminates him. VOLADOR: #9. Doug Williams enters and goes after Rave, planting him with the Chaos Theory suplex and eliminating Jimmy Rave. JIMMY RAVE: #8. Doug Williams is attacked in turn by Eric Young, Petey Williams, Tanahashi, and Homicide. Homicide overshoots his tope con hilo into the crowd and looks like he did not land well. Homicide is eliminated by the referee for injury and being unable to continue. HOMICIDE: #7. Hernandez rushes out to help him, and no further mention is made of it all night. Action returns to the ring. Creed and Petey fight, but Petey reverses a move by Creed into the Canadian Destroyer and eliminates Creed. CONSEQUENCES CREED: #6. In the aftermatch of his own move, Petey is smashed by a Tanahashi top rope frong splash, and Tanahashi eliminates Petey. PETEY WILLIAMS: #5. Doug Williams and Tanahashi double-team Lethal. Lethal fights out and eliminates Tanahashi with a small package inside cradle. TANAHASHI: #4. Eric Young capitalizes on Lethal’s work and eliminates Doug Williams. DOUG WILLIAMS: #3. The match is down to Eric Young and Jay Lethal. One of them will get the #1 Contender spot to Sheik Abdul Bashir’s X-Division title. They shake hands. LOTS of reversals follow. Eric Young eliminates Lethal. JAY LETHAL: #2. ERIC YOUNG: #1 CONTENDER TO THE X-DIVISION TITLE.

Post-match, Eric gets the mic. Lethal, Petey, and Creed join him in the ring. Eric tells the Main Event Mafia that they are WRESTLERS, not entertainers or showmen or sideshow freaks or millionaires. He says this all started as a dream, and that tonight, these kids would become men. A much better Eric promo than expected.

Tenay and West go over the rest of the card.

To the back! Lauren is with Foley and Jarrett in the main office. Jarrett tells Foley to go talk to “the kids.” He himself will go talk to the Main Event Mafia and “take a few bullets out of the gun before they’re fired.” Lauren looks unsure as they leave.

Match #2: Knockouts Tag Team match – Awesome Kong and Raisha Saeed vs. Taylor Wilde and Roxxi. Rhaka Khan accompanies Kong and Saeed to ringside. Roxxi got by far the biggest pop. When did she get the lip ring? Wilde goes straight for Rhaka Khan. Don’t tell me that you can’t hear it. Everybody say it with me.

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kong and Roxxi go in the ring. Saeed tags in. Wilde tags herself in and the faces double-team Saeed. Kong and Roxxi again. Saeed tags in again. LOUD chants of “Roxxi! Roxxi!” Somewhere, JohnnyCraze asks for a moment to excuse himself. Saeed knocks Wilde to the floor. Kong and Roxxi again. Those two are really carrying the match. Rhaka Khan holds Wilde’s legs so that Roxxi can’t reach her to tag out. Saeed tags in and goes after Roxxi. Saeed locks in an impressive deathlock/surfboard combination on Roxxi. More loud “Roxxi!” chants. Kong tags in and goes after Roxxi, with an assist from Saeed. Kong misses a top rope splash. Now it’s Wilde and Saeed. Wilde punches Khan. Roxxi knocks Kong out of the ring and hits a top rope splash on her. While all this is going on, Wilde gets a bridge and pin on Saeed.

WINNERS BY PINFALL: Taylor Wilde and Roxxi

The MEM locker room. Jarrett tells them to get it done in the ring and not to let this thing get out of control. Kurt screams at Jarrett about not being one of their peers, being a washed-up has-been, and until Jarrett grows a set of balls and meets Kurt in the ring again, nothing he says means anything to the MEM. Kurt storms out. Nash tells Jarrett to go talk to the “kids” instead. Jarrett asks Nash what he would do if Nash were in his shoes, and that TNA was his future. Nash gestures at the MEM and says that they are Jarrett’s future. Jarrett gets a headache.

Match #3: Grudge match (non-title) – Sheik Abdul Bashir [X-Division Champion] vs. Rhino. Retired US soldier Sgt. Sean Autry from Orlando comes out to introduce Rhino. When Rhino enters, Bashir slides out of the ring, and the “Rhino!” chants were pretty loud. As stupid as the reason behind this match is, it started out well enough. Rhino chased Bashir around. Bashir begged off in the ring, using the “time out” sign and bowing down to Rhino. It didn’t work. Later, Bashir tries to remove the corner turnbuckle pad. Referee Shane Sewell stops him, and while Sewell and Bashir argue, Bashir (very weakly) mule kicks Rhino in the groin. This skullduggery only earns Bashir a two-count. Bashir then tries several rest holds. Rhino’s arm barely raises up on the third try of Referee Sewell. After the absolutely, positively, WORST Gore of all time, Rhino wins. Looking back on it, if they were really THAT thrown by Scott Hall and ICP at ringside (which they should not have been, but that’s another story for another time), it certainly explains why the match got so bad. Both guys are better than this match showed.

To the back! The locker room of the TNA Originals this time. Foley is talking to them about how this sort of conflict is generational, and happens all the time. Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley are leaning up against the wall, laughing and talking and not paying attention to Foley. When he tries to get their attention, Shelley asks, “Who are you?” He plays it off that he’s only joking, and lists off all of Foley’s major accomplishments. He then says that he doesn’t care about any of those things. Foley points out that when the Guns behave that way, they’re proving that what Sting and the rest of the MEM are saying about the next generation is true. Furthermore, he chose to invest so heavily in TNA because he wanted to help them. Shelley tells Foley that if he really wants to help them, he’ll take his “pencil-pushing, tubby ass back to his desk.” There was probably going to be more, but Jay Lethal attacks Shelley at that point, and Sabin goes to separate them while the rest of the locker room goes with Lethal. Petey Williams kicks Shelley and Sabin out of the locker room, and AJ apologizes to Foley for their behavior.

Match #4: Tag Team title match – Beer Money Inc. (James Storm and Robert Roode) with Jacqueline vs. the Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley). Beer Money Inc. comes out first. The Motor City Machine Guns come out second. The fans don’t know how to react to the Guns at this point. There are a few scattered “boo”s, but it’s mostly awkward silence and subdued cheers. This changes after the match starts. Sabin and Storm begin, slowly. Sabin throws a few hip tosses on Storm, and pulls him down in a submission hold just long enough to tag in Shelley. Shelley climbs to the top corner and lands a clubbing blow to Storm’s back. Storm tags in Roode, but Shelley is thinking, and is able to counter and get a two-count. Sabin drop kicks Storm to the outside, and the Guns take flight! Simultaneous dives onto Beer Money Inc. The Guns double-team Roode. Storm enters the ring to help Roode, and gets the same. Shelley smacks Roode in the face, takes him to the mat, and tags in Sabin. Sabin tags Shelley back in, and Shelley gets a two-count on Roode. Shelley kicks Roode repeatedly, driving him into the corner. Shelley gets another two-count after hitting a springboard moonsault on Roode. Storm tags in. Storm hits Shelley with chops and right hands while Roode takes cheap shots from the outside. Storm officially tags in Roode, and Beer Money Inc. double-teams Shelley. Storm takes Shelley down with a sleeper hold, but Shelley fights back and tries to kick out. Roode drives Shelley back down with a blow to the back. Shelley is eventually able to connect his boot to Roode’s face, and knock Storm from the ring apron. Roode is quickly back with a dropped toe hold, and Storm joins him in double-teaming Shelley again. Sabin tries to get in the ring, but as no tag has been made, the referee won’t allow it.   

Shelley continues to take punishment from Storm and Roode. Storm throws Shelley into a turnbuckle, but Shelley fights out and makes the tag to Sabin! However, the referee doesn’t see it, assumes that the Guns are cheating, and makes Sabin leave the ring while Beer Money throws Shelley to the floor outside. Jacqueline gets some punches in on Shelley while he’s down there. Down where? Sorry. Jacqueline rolls Shelley back in the ring, where Storm tries for the pin several times, but Shelley kicks out at two each time. Roode tags in, and Beer Money Inc. goes for a double team. Shelley counters it, and drops them both with a double DDT. Shelley finally makes to back to his corner and tags in Sabin in plain view of the referee. It’s all about the Sabintron now! Sabin enters with a flying cross body from the top corner. He goes on the mad ninja attack, dodging the tag team champions and defining the term “one-man wrecking crew.” If that term isn’t used much in wrestling, it should be. Shelley comes back in for a double team. Sabin hits a DDT on Roode. Sabin takes Roode up for the Cradleshock, but Storm takes advantage of the positioning and tags himself in while pulling his partner down. Beer Money double-teams Sabin. Sabin fights them off. Roode goes to the outside. Shelley lands a suicide dive to the outside on Roode. Sabin takes out Storm with a top rope hurricanrana, and Shelley follows up with a frog splash. Alex Shelley has the best frog splash going right now. Sabin goes for the cover, but he is denied, and Storm kicks out at two.  Roode comes in to help, but the Guns have another double-team with his name on it all prepared. Shelley and Sabin both go to the top and fly. Roode grounds Sabin with a stiff spinebuster, but only manages to get a two-count. Shelley sets Roode up in the ropes for yet another Guns double-team, but Roode fights it off, and Shelley finds himself in the Tree of Woe. Sabin is still down, but he gets up in time to counter Storm, then goes for Roode on the top turnbuckle. Sabin and Roode are joined by Shelley and Storm for a tremendous “Tower of Doom” suplex. All four guys are down in the ring, but Roode seems to have taken the most damage. Sabin has the presence of mind to crawl over to Roode and drape an arm across him, but the former Canadian Enforcer kicks out. Storm gets up to help, but receives a kick from Shelley to the back of the head for his trouble. Sabin and Shelley take down Roode, but when Sabin goes for the pin, Jacqueline grabs his hair and drags Sabin off of Roode. While this distraction is going on, Storm sneaks a surreptitious guzzle of beer from his ever-present bottle on the apron. Sabin acts like he’s going to punch Jacqueline in the face, but he decides to scoop slam her instead. Surely, Chris Rock would consider scoop slamming a woman who just cost you the TNA Tag Team titles as being ok. It’s kind of like shaking…. Sabin and Roode start up again, but Storm spits beer in Sabin’s eyes. Storm and Roode hit Sabin with a double-team powerbomb, and Roode gets the pin.    WINNERS BY PINFALL, AND STILL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Beer Money Inc.

 

To the back! JB is in Booker T’s locker room. Because the gods love us, and want us to be happy, Sharmell does the talking. Booker sits there with his Pebbles Flintstone hair-do and a furry cape. It’s pretty awful. She says that the time for talking is over. THANK GOD!!!!!!!! Oh, and something about the match for the Legends title and Christian Cage.

Match #5: Legends title match – Booker T vs. Christian Cage. Booker comes out first. What is it tonight with the champions or biggest names coming out first? Booker just looks funny wearing the Legends title belt, the furry cape, and a hairstyle resembling a trash bag with a twist tie.

At this point, I found it harder to watch the show and write down everything at the same time. I was also getting a bad feeling about how certain things were going to play out. From here on out, there isn’t much to the review in terms of specific moves. Booker wins the match due in large part to Sharmell’s interference, and now Christian Cage has to join the Main Event Mafia. Booker loses the accent when he tells Christian that there’s a meeting at 8:00 am tomorrow that he must attend. Christian looks shocked and less than pleased.

To the back! Lauren is with Abyss and Matt Morgan. Abyss giggles, tells Lauren that she is beautiful, and shouts a lot.

Match #6: Falls Count Anywhere match – Abyss vs. Kurt Angle. Again, Angle comes out first. A solid brawl, going all over the place, as it was intended. Angle did a fantastic somersault off the upper landing of the set onto Abyss. No hands. Angle (as we all knew) wins after uppercutting Abyss from a higher level platform, sending him crashing through the Spanish announce table.

Promo in Joe’s locker room.

Match #7: Revenge match – Samoa Joe vs. Kevin Nash. Nash enters first. What’s with the bright red pleather get-up? Joe has some major dominance moments, but Nash wins.

Match #8: TNA World Heavyweight Championship title match – AJ Styles vs. Sting. Sting retains after AJ misses a second Pele kick.  

 

Parting Thoughts: This would be the perfect time for Petey Williams, Jay Lethal, Christopher Daniels, Eric Young, and even Shark Boy to ditch the silly or rip-off aspects of their gimmicks, and become their own people. That being said, Eric Young getting a shot at the X-Division title? He’s good, but nowhere near as good as Petey, Daniels, or even Sonjay Dutt on occasion. TNA’s “powers-that-be” seem much higher on Eric Young than the fans are. His post-match promo was considerably better than expected, but he may not have been the best guy to give it.

Roxxi gets tremendous face pop. Taylor Wilde does not, and never has. Rhaka Khan is pretty much useless. Where is ODB? The Knockouts matches are not of the quality they once were.

Rhino and Bashir are both better than this match showed. The whole idea behind it boggles the mind with its stupidity. Please make it stop.

The audience cheers the Main Event Mafia far too much. Yes, they’re all the huge names. If they’re really supposed to be heels, and if they’re really that good at what they do, they should be able to make the audience hate them. If they look down on the younger wrestlers, they should look down on the fans as well. Act like it! Tenay and West should not be playing both sides, as they are partly responsible for making the MEM sound like they are in the right.  

 While it is definitely intriguing in terms of “why,”  what is the point of handling the Motor City Machine Guns in this way? They (and Alex Shelley in particular) act like bratty heels in the locker room segment, then come out and wrestle a match in a babyface style, and do so against a clearly heel team. No wonder the fans were confused when the Guns came out. Leaving my extreme personal bias aside, why would you take your most popular tag team, a team that achieved that popularity with no help whatsoever from TNA, and turn them heel with no motivation? It would make sense if they were already established as the awesome babyface tag champs who were worshipped and adored by the fans, and by turning them, they would be as strongly hated as they had been loved. This way is just awkward. The fans WANT to cheer for them, so why not let us?

Angle vs. Abyss was good, much better than I had expected. I didn’t think it was as amazing as a lot of people are saying. Please end the Abyss/Matt Morgan bro-mance already.

The MEM dominating tonight was good, they needed that. What they didn’t need was winning every match they had. Even this early in the story, the “Young Lions” needed one small spot of hope. Joe beating Nash should have been that spot of hope. Joe should have destroyed Nash in a short match, and then if they had to have interference and beat-downs, this would be where it would have been most effective.

AJ vs. Sting did what it was supposed to do. Is anyone else bothered by the fact that Kurt Angle is referred to by the announce team as the “leader” of the MEM and the “spokesman” for the same? Shouldn’t someone point out that Kurt doesn’t have the title, ergo Sting should be the one fulfilling those roles?

 

Peace out !

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