I currently write to you, with the entrance music and video of D-Generation X playing in the background. But wait a minute, I hear you ask. You’re not a wrestling fan anymore. Why do you have DX’s music in the background? Simple. I’m not a wrestling fan today. FACT. Also FACT, I’ve recovered my sheer enjoyment for the words War, Is and Raw, although not necessarily in that order.

Cue the opening

Hello! Your hair looks nice. Is that new perfume? It smells good on you. But now that I’ve been all fun loving and Christian, let’s get back to the nasty stuff. I feel obliged to pass on a message from an old friend of BWF, about hacking. The hackees in question, apparently have been going for PayPal, Facebook, and anything else which can use your Windows Live IDs. With that said, take all the necessary precautions, and change passwords, remove credit card details etc. because if you don’t, then expect people to spend your money on random shit you don’t need, as opposed to you spending your money on shit you don’t need.

Click here to be Rick Roll’d, or will you be Rick Roll’d if you click here. There’s only one way to find out.

This next paragraph,as I have no idea how to start this particular paragraph, is about the UFC’s bid, to purchase the television network, G4, off of NBC Universal, thus allowing them  have their own channel pretty much. This would be a significant move for the UFC, allowing them free reign overwhat they show on TV, and also, they don’t have to deal with Spike TV anymore, and does anybody with any inkling of a brain want to deal with Spike TV? This would be a good move for the E as well, as they can look at how the UFC does things, and learn from it, when they venture out into their own television station. What remains to be seen, is whether G4’s original programming would stay, or whether the channel that claims they’re ‘TV that’s plugged in’, becomes more ultimate, than plugged. Also, if the UFC do buy G4 from NBC Universal, I hope nothing happens to G4TV.com, because it’s the only place I go to for my video game news, and I don’t want to start looking elsewhere. Stay tuned for Part Two.. coming up!

Cue the Opening

We begin with a reminiscing if you will, and as I stated at the top of the column, I have re-discovered my enjoyment for those words Is, Raw and War, and again, not in that particular order. This doesn’t mean that I’ll be jumping back on the wrestling train, watching every week like the rest of you. It just means I’m enjoying wrestling, when it was actually decent programming. When there was actually a reason to watch. When the characters you watched each week, were either so over the top bad it was funny, so degenerating that they made even dick jokes entertaining, and so controversial, that there was an all-coloured stable, porn stars and pimps, a rebel with a cause who became a role model for thousands, a demented/crazed/hippie who were all the same person, but three people at the same time, and of course, Marc Mero. I grew up in the Attitude era, DX was the group, Stone Cold was the one you wanted to be, and Sunny was the one you wanted to bed. Now of course, there isn’t a group, here’s no-one you want to be, and there’s no-one you want to bed. Unless of course, you are Drowgoddess, because she secretly wants to bed Kelly Kelly. (Watch me get in trouble for that one. Actually, I don’t care, she probably won’t even read it. In fact, I don’t reckon anybody will.)

It’s almost like,  it never really left my system. I mean, I cannot watch it today, I see glimpses when other people in the house watch it, or what not, and I pick straight away what is going to happens. It’s too predictable, too kiddish, and too rubbish. It’s almost like you expect Dora The Explorer to debut any week now, and that was 18 months ago I last watched. I’d hate to see what it is now.. maybe Dora the Explorer is WWE Champion by now. But anyway, back to 1998.It’s just been good to go back to the place that time forgot, and remember the good old days again. Will it re-kindle the desire to watch wrestling again? No. Will it re-kindle the need to tell dick jokes, and carry on like I have some kind of attitude? That never left.

Finally, a note about the roundtable posted earlier that involves three Americans, a Canadians, and a partridge in a pear tree. Although, it was amazing for David Cassidy to appear. The surprises you get from listening to a BWF roundtable. Anyway, it was mentioned about a trade, in which, yours truly, traded away the Triumvirate of TN-Awesomeness (Joe, JT, Drow), to the San Jose Sharks. Now for the two people who read my column last time, I mentioned that I traded them for Bill Guerin. As I have indeed found the trades in question, let me confirm/deny everything. The first of two trades I made, consisted of then Triumvirate of TN-Awesomeness members Joe, JT and Fritz, was signed by Total Nonstop Action, to be participants of the then ‘Off The Wagon’ challenge. However, that trade was quickly null and void, as it was found out that Drow was the third member of the rather long name starting with T and not Fritz, or Hulk Hogan, as some expected, and they were quickly sent to the San Jose Sharks in exchange for now Buffalo Sabre, Christian Ehrhoff. Jellybeans and various porn magazines were also exchanged in the deal. Where I was confused, was that the deal was originally meant to be for Bill Guerin, but according to Wikipedia, he had already lost the will to live, and was already traded to the Kansas City Chiefs for QB Matt Cassel.

I could leave you being Dude Roll’d, as opposed to Rick Roll’d, or even D’Lo Roll’d, or the music I play during sex. Instead I’ll leave you, as I mentioned them earlier, the entrance music of the Triumvirate of TN-Awesomeness!

6 Comments

  1. I would have loved to see Bill Guerin on TNA in 2009, actually. While he was nearing the end of his career at this point, he was almost always a player who was responsible on his own end, while offensively threatening at heart. He also was a hell of a warrior for my team for some time.


  2. I knew I felt a connection to Christian Ehrhoff when the Sabres signed him. Glad to see that the guy TNA traded me to the Sharks for is now playing for my beloved home team!


  3. Oh, I read it, LK. I read it….

    You get a pass because the article made me chuckle. That, and I can't afford to fly to the southern hemisphere.


  4. I just hope that someone new was reading this piece and thinking "what the fuck is it with all the links leading to Dude Love'? I love it as my new Rick Roll'd. I think it's more bizarre than Rick Astley anyways.

    Also, is there anyway to post a blog in sections, rather than having to post two blogs? What I mean is.. I separated the first opening, from the rest, and if I could separate the second opening and make it like a third section of the blog, that'd be awesome!


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