This is it!  BoredWrestlingFan’s WrestleMania week is in full swing, which kicked off with the WrestleMania 29 prediction podcast.  My contribution to WrestleMania week this year will be reviews of the first six WrestleMania events, which started Monday with 1985′s WrestleMania, and will finish up Saturday with a review of WrestleMania VI.  And don’t forget to tune in to BoredWrestlingFan Radio this Sunday at 2PM Eastern as I will be reporting LIVE from Met Life Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ, the site of WrestleMania XXIX!

WrestleMania V, the Mega Powers Explode!  I’d just started to really get in to pro wrestling around this time.  In fact, the Saturday Night’s Main Event where Hogan and Savage split up over the tag team match they had against the Twin Towers may be one of the first wrestling shows I really remember watching.  We didn’t order this one on PPV, but I rented it on VHS as soon as it came out.  I distinctly remember a lot of this show, which is surprising, since I can barely remember any of last year’s WrestleMania.  Oh well, let’s roll!

The World Wrestling Federation.  What the world is watching!  The Mega Powers Explode, here at WrestleMania V!

We’re back in Trump Plaza, and since I watched WrestleMania IV no more than 30 minutes ago, it’s like we never left!  Gorilla says we’re in for several hours of exciting wrestling.  Several hours?  Really?  Howard Finkel introduces WWF Women’s Champion Rockin’ Robin, who is here to sing “America The Beautiful?”  Da fuck?  They blow the budget on Run DMC and Morton Downey, Jr?

Jerry “The King” Lawler’s music hits, way before Jerry Lawler joined the WWF, but that’s because it’s King Haku (who doesn’t come with crown as illustrated), with Bobby “The Brain” Heenan.  Wait, what happened to Harley Race?  I forget. (He got injured and forfeited the crown).  Heenan says everybody should bow to King Haku. His opponent is Hercules, former Heenan Family member.

King Haku (w/ Bobby “The Brain” Heenan) vs. Hercules

Every year the WrestleMania banner on the ring skirt gets slightly bigger.  By next year it will probably cover the whole thing.  Haku jumps Hercules early, but Herc turns the tide quickly.  Hercules turns his attention to Heenan, which is enough for Haku to recover and attack him from behind.  Haku hits a pair of backbreakers, but Hercules kicks out at two.  Haku locks in the BEARHUG!  It looked like the lights went out for a second, but I think it was just the camera.  Hercules hits a cross body for two.  Couple of clotheslines and a powerslam from Hercules.  Haku kicks Hercules in the chops as he’s going for a top rope move, but Herc moves out of a Haku splash.  The referee counts a fall with both men’s shoulders on the canvas, and awards the match to Hercules.

Winner by pinfall:  Hercules

Hall of Famer count:  4  (Monsoon, Jesse Ventura, Howard Finkel, and Bobby Heenan)

Mean Gene Okerlund is with The Rockers, who are talking, but there’s music playing over them, so I can barely hear them.  Basically they say they’re going to beat the Twin Towers.

In the ring, Big Boss Man, The African Dream Akeem, and their manager, Slick.  The Rockers make their way to the ring, and we’ve got tag team action at WrestleMania V!

The Twin Towers (w/ Slick) vs. The Rockers

The transformation from One Man Gang to Akeem is astounding.  The Rockers make the big men chase them around to start things off, possibly tiring out their much larger adversaries.  Shawn Michaels and The Big Boss Man, both in their first WrestleManias, kick things off in this one.  Can you believe one of these guys went on to become arguably one of the best of all time?  Rockers cut the ring in half and work over Akeem.  The Rockers use their quickness, but finally Akeem manages to tag the Boss Man, and Marty Jannetty is in trouble.  Now it’s the Twin Towers cutting the ring in half, until Jannetty ducks Akeem while Boss Man is holding him, causing the Towers to collide into one another.  Michaels gets the tag, and The Rockers take control – until Akeem clotheslines Michaels’ head off.  The Rockers come back with a bunch of double team moves.  They really got away with a lot in this match.  Ventura is right to be upset about it.  Akeem eventually manages to hit a big splash on Michaels for the win.

Winners by pinfall:  The Twin Towers

Hall of Famer count: 6 (adding Michaels and Okerlund)

Backstage, Tony Schiavone is with Ted DiBiase and Virgil.  DiBiase has been waiting for today because there are rich people there to see him demolish Brutus Beefcake.  He says the Million Dollar Title shines brighter than any star in the World Wrestling Federation.

Back in the arena, DiBiase shakes hands with Donald Trump as he arrives ringside.  Beefcake shows up, dressed in gold.  How many more WrestleManias until I don’t have to see Beefcake anymore?

“The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase (w/ Virgil) vs. Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake

Why does Beefcake need a huge duffel bag for his hedge clippers?  Beecake kicks things off with a cheap shot to DiBiase.  Dude, if my barber had a mullet like that, even back in 1989, I’d stop going to him.  Beefcake and his Achy Breaky hair are all over DiBiase.  Yes, I know this review is based in 1989 and that the stupid Billy Ray Cyrus song didn’t come out until 1992.  Fists start flying, and this match is a far cry from Savage/DiBiase a year ago.  DiBiase hits a second rope double axe handle.   Beefcake rolls up DiBiase in a small package, but DiBiase kicks out at two.  DiBiase locks in the Million Dollar Dream, but Beefcake gets to the ropes.  Beefcake gets the sleeper on DiBiase, but gets distracted by Virgil on the apron.  DiBiase tosses Beefcake outside and distracts the referee, and Virgil attacks Beefcake.  DiBiase attacks Beefcake from behind, and we wind up getting a double count out.  Beefcake takes out DiBiase and goes after Virgil, hitting him with an atomic drop and a clothesline, then puts him in the sleeper.  DiBiase tries to make the save but Beefcake caught him coming in.  He goes out for his clippers, but DiBiase and Virgil escape unscathed.

Hall of Famer count: 7 (adding DiBiase)

Lord Alfred Hayes was with the Bushwhackers earlier in the day at the WrestleMania brunch.  They talk with their mouths full.  They’re facing the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers, who are on their way to the ring with Jimmy Hart when we get back into Trump Plaza.  The Bushwhackers are out next.  This ought to be interesting.

The Bushwhackers vs. The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers (w/ Jimmy Hart)

The Bushwhackers stole Jimmy Hart’s jacket baby, they stole his jacket!   Jimmy Hart gets sandwiched between the Rougeaus by the Bushwhackers.  Bushwhackers hit the battering ram on one of the Rougeaus, the other one breaks up the cover.  The match is back and forth, and I have no idea who is in the ring at any point because I never did figure out which Bushwhacker is which and I don’t feel like looking for Raymond’s mustache.  The Bushwhackers hit a battering ram out of nowhere, and they pick up the victory.

Winners by pinfall:  The Bushwhackers

Hall of Famer count:  8 (adding Jimmy Hart)

Sean Mooney is in the aisle, and gets licked by the Bushwhackers for it.

Mr. Perfect is out first for his match, and his opponent is the great super hero from Parts Unknown, the Blue Blazer!

Mr. Perfect vs. The Blue Blazer

He’s more of a teal blazer.  This should actually be pretty decent.  Especially after the crap that’s been on this card so far.  Blazer slaps Perfect a couple of times.  So far, this match is living up to my expectations.  Blazer loves that standing dropkick.  Bodyslam, and Blazer goes to the top rope.  He flies, but Perfect gets the knees up.  After a solid match, Mr. Perfect nails the Perfect Plex for the victory!

Winner by pinfall:  Mr. Perfect

Hall of Famer count:  9 (adding Mr. Perfect)

Jesse Ventura says he has a surprise.  Howard Finkel introduces Ventura, who poses for the crowd again, much like last year.

Lord Alfred Hayes is at a 5K run that happened yesterday.  Lord Alfred Hayes must have a DeLorean.  Mr Fuji is apparently running in the race.  He says that winning the race will prove that the Powers of Pain will win the Tag Team Championship.  Fuji gets a head start, but is quickly passed by everybody.  He finished the race in 19:30.  Which proves he’s in good shape.  His Powers of Pain are in good shape too.

Hey, it’s Run DMC!  Whoooooo’s house?  Run’s house!  I’m so glad I had the privilege of seeing these guys live before Jam Master Jay’s tragic and senseless death.  How can these guys jump around the ring with those turntables spinning without them skipping?  My Grandma couldn’t even walk by my record player on a solid floor without it skipping.

It’s three on two for the WWF Tag Team Championships, and this all started at the Survivor Series, when the Powers of Pain and Demolition did their double turn.  Then in February, the Powers of Pain and Fuju destroyed Demolition with Fuji’s cane.

Okerlund is with Demolition, who are ready for action.  They’re going to knock Fuji & The Powers of Pain’s stinkin’ teeth in.

Powers of Pain and Fuji are in the ring already.  I didn’t know Fuji had tattoos.  Demolition are out next, and I’m confused as to why they replaced the iconic Demolition theme music on these releases.

WWF Tag Team Championship:  Demolition (c) vs. The Powers of Pain & Mr. Fuji

I predict that the guys with paint on their face are going to win.  The better-than-the-originals Road Warrior knockoffs taking on the ok-but-not-as-good-as-the-originals Road Warrior knockoffs.  How big of a Demolition mark am I?  In the video game Rock Band 2, I created a band of WWF Superstars.  Hogan on bass, Savage on guitar, Warrior on drums, and my lead singer was Demolition Smash.  Ax and Smash are in control early on, working over first Warlord and then The Barbarian.  I’ll give the Powers of Pain credit for one thing – they took the Road Warrior knockoff thing far enough that they cut their hair like the originals.  Fuji gets in and doesn’t look half bad in the ring.  After a back and forth match, Demolition wind up with Fuji all alone in the ring, and he eats a Demolition Decapitation Elbow, and the Champions retain!

Winners by pinfall:  Demolition

Hall of Famer count:  10  (adding Mr. Fuji)

Schiavone is backstage trying to get a word with Randy Savage, who tells him no interviews, and that he’s ready for Hulk Hogan.

Dino Bravo is on his way to the ring with Frenchie Martin, and his opponent, Rugged Ronnie Garvin is already in the ring.  Before things get going, Finkel introduces Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka!

Dino Bravo (w/ Frenchie Martin) vs. Rugged Ronnie Garvin

What is the point of Snuka showing up?  Garvin get jumped from behind, and I really don’t give a crap about this match.  Bravo drops some elbows.  Bravo was a strong guy.  He was also shot to death (17 times) while watching hockey because he was involved in some sort of cigarette smuggling ring.  At least, that’s what Wikipedia tells me.  Garvin makes his comeback, but Bravo hits a side slam and gets the pinfall.  Garvin attacks Bravo and Martin after the match.

Winner by pinfall:  Dino Bravo

Hall of Famer count:  10

Bobby Heenan leads The Brain Busters to the ring.  I throw four fingers in the air and then I realize that there’s only two of them. Strike Force are their opponents.

The Brain Busters (w/ Bobby “The Brain” Heenan) vs. Strike Force

Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard.  Tito Santana and Rick Martel.  This should be good.  Brain Busters get Martel trapped in their corner but he fights out.  Strike Force are on fire early on.  Martel cinches the Boston Grab on Anderson, but Blanchard thumbed Martel in the eye.  Then Tito got the tag, as did Blanchard, and Tito locked in a Figure Four, as does Martel on Anderson.  Referee starts losing control of this one.  Santana went for the flying forearm, but Blanchard ducked and hit Martel instead.  Martel rolled out of the ring and the Brain Busters seem to take control of the match.  Santana reverses an Irish Whip into Anderson’s knee.  The Brain Busters work well as a tag team, cornering Santana, tagging out when they’re in trouble.  Tito finally causes some separation, tossing Anderson off the top rope.  Anderson gets the tag to Blanchard.  Martel ignores Tito’s attempt for a tag, then leaves.  Heenan points this out to Blanchard, who smiles at the prospect of this match being two on one.  Double A hits the spinebuster.  Tito tries his best to fight back, but to no avail.  The Busters hit the spike piledriver (let’s see somebody do THAT in today’s WWE) for the victory.

Winners by pinfall:  The Brain Busters

Hall of Famer count:  13  (adding Santana, Anderson, and Blanchard)

Okerlund wants answers from Martel.  He says he’s sick of carrying Tito around.

Man, they’re wasting a lot of time during this show.  It’s just Jesse and Gorilla babbling for a little bit.  Ah.  They were setting up for Piper’s Pit.  Howard Finkel introduces a man who has his very own talk show and has never backed down from anybody.  When you say Rowdy, there’s only one… Brother Love!  In a kilt, no less.  He welcomes us to the Brother Love show, and he introduces us to Brother Rodney Piper.  He interviews himself as “Roddy Piper”  Bruce Prichard does a mean Roddy Piper impression.  I give up on this segment, and then Morton Downey, Jr. comes out.  They don’t love each other.  They trade insults.  They both sit down.  Then “Rowdy” Roddy Piper gets introduced and comes out.  Piper says Love has child bearing hips and Bette Davis knees.  Piper asks questions, then pulls the microphone away from him.  Brother love says Piper can’t scare him.  Which he proceeds to do.  Piper asks if Love ever fights with anybody.  He says he’s a lover.  Piper insinuates Love’s jewelry and watch are all fake.  While this is going on, Downey keeps throwing cigarettes in their general direction.  Wonder if he got them from Bravo?  Piper watched Downey’s show once.  Piper talks about a great Irish tenor, and his name wasn’t Downey.  Why is his name Downey?  Downey insinuates that Piper’s mom is a whore.  Piper wants to know what happened to Downey’s warts.  He gave them to a homeless warthog.  Piper didn’t know Downey’s girlfriend was homeless.  Downey tells Piper to zip it.  Or something.  This is a train wreck of a segment.  Downey insinuates that Piper is a transvestite.  Piper asks him several times not to blow smoke in his face.  Downey doesn’t stop.  Downey says it’s good for you.  Piper asks for a cigarette.  Downey turns around to light it for him, and Piper pulls out a fire extinguisher and douses Downey down.  And that train wreck, mercifully, is over.

Hall of Famer count:  14  (adding Piper)

I just had to take a long, long break from this show after that craptacular Piper’s Pit.  Downey sucked.  I’m so far behind on these reviews.

Mean Gene has exciting news.  Hulk Hogan is going to be starring in a major motion picture titled No Holds Barred.  And we get a sneak preview.  It’s funny, because it’s not supposed to be funny.  And now, 14 years later, they rip on this themselves when releasing it on DVD.

Sean Mooney is with Donald Trump.  What does an event like this mean to his organization?  Trump says it’s fantastic, it’s an honor.  The whole town is packed, it’s been a real boon to the town.  Mooney says he’s going to leave a few dollars in Atlantic City.

Hall of Famer count:  15 (adding Trump)

Ventura says if Hogan wants a job in Hollywood, he can drive Jesse’s limo.  They are really wasting a lot of time on this show.

Now we get a video package of the Mega Powers.  I don’t see any screens in Trump Plaza, the people in the arena are probably bored out of their minds right now.

Okerlund is with Hogan, and what a difference a year makes.  If you would’ve told Hogan a year ago he’d be facing Savage for the title, he’d have called you a liar.  Hogan babbles on, as usual.  He actually makes some sense, but I stopped paying attention, dude brother.  They’re REALLY wasting a lot of time on this show.  No wonder Wrestling Observer named it “Worst Major Wrestling Show” for 1989.

Holy crap, somebody’s coming to the ring!  It’s the special guest referee for this one, Big John Studd.  The music they’re playing sounds like the music they gave Duggan years later.  Heenan leads Andre out, then Jake “The Snake” Roberts comes out, and holy shit!  It’s a match!  On a wrestling show!  How about that?

Andre The Giant (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. Jake “The Snake” Roberts:  Special Guest Referee Big John Studd

I seem to remember this show being better than it was.  Probably because I was 7 when this happened.  Andre attacks before the bell, then rams Roberts’ face into the exposed turnbuckle.  What happened to the pad?  Who knows?  Andre locks in a sleeper.  He could’ve just forced him to watch the last 30 minutes of this show, that would have put him to sleep.  Roberts’ keeps trying to get to Damien in his corner.  Andre just takes his time.  He breaks a few rules, but always breaks before Studd’s 5 count.  Jake eventually manages to get Andre tied up into the ropes.  Roberts asks the crowd if he should get Damien out of the bag.  Andre manages to get out of the ropes, putting Roberts back down.  It’s all Andre.  Which is to say that it’s a slow, plodding match.  Not Khali bad, but certainly not Andre good.  Andre argues with Studd as Roberts is down on the outside.  Andre took a cheap shot on Studd as Studd turns to count Roberts out.  Ted DiBiase and Virgil attack Roberts and steal Damien.  Jake catches DiBiase, and meanwhile, Andre is choking out Studd in the ring.  Jake gets Damien back and tosses him in the ring, sending Andre running.  Studd declares Roberts the winner by DQ.

Winner by disqualification:  Jake “The Snake” Roberts

Hall of Famer count:  17 (adding Andre and Studd)

Sean Mooney is up in the cheap seats with some fan who says Jake Roberts is the best.

Tony Shiavone is with Sensational Sherri, who says she’s Sensational, unlike Rockin’ Robin.  She’d also like to talk about Elizabeth.  Sherri says she’s more beautiful than Elizabeth.

Jimmy Hart leads Honky Tonk Man and Greg “The Hammer” Valentine to the ring.  This is apparently before they were called Rhythm and Blues.  Their opponents are The Hart Foundation.

The Hart Foundation vs. Honky Tonk Man & Greg “The Hammer” Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart)

This may be an ok match.  Hart and HTM start things off.  Hart hits three straight atomic drops on the other team.  It’s all Harts in the early going until Hart misses an elbow drop.  HTM hits the Shake Rattle & Roll on Hart, then Hammer goes for the Figure Four, which is countered by the Hitman.  It’s all heels until Anvil gets the tag and goes off on the opposition.  Things get crazy, the ref gets distracted, and Hart nails HTM with Jimmy Hart’s megaphone, and the Hart Foundation pick up the win.

Winners by pinfall:  The Hart Foundation

Hall of Famer count:  19 (adding Bret Hart and Greg Valentine)

We get a recap of the Warrior/Rick Rude feud.  Rude is out first for the match, he’d like for everybody to keep the noise down while he takes his robe off.  Warrior comes out and this one kicks off before the bell, like every other match on this card.

WWF Intercontinental Championship:  Ultimate Warrior(c) vs. Ravishing Rick Rude (w/ Bobby Heenan)

Rude has an Intercontinental title on the front of his tights and a caricature of the Warrior on the back.  Warrior locks in a BEARHUG! because if this show needed anything, it was more rest holds.  Rude gets out and hits a top rope dropkick, but Warrior powers right out of the cover.  Warrior goes right back to the BEARHUG!  Heenan goes into his pocket for something.  Warrior goes for the big splash, but Rude gets the knees up.  Rude takes control of the match, but he’s in pain from being worn down by the BEARHUGs earlier in the match.  Warrior starts to shake the ropes, which is his version of Hulking up.  Rude goes for a Rude Awakening, but Warrior fights out of it.  Warrior goes for a clothesline, but Heenan grabs Warrior’s leg, and holds it down as Rude covers him, and we’ve got a new Intercontinental Champion!

Winner and NEW Intercontinental Champion:  Rick Rude

After the match, Warrior press slams Heenan, who still has a match later on tonight.

Hall of Famer count:  still 19

Bad News Brown makes his way to the ring.  His opponent is “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan

Bad News Brown vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

Guess what happens.  If you said, “Bad News attacks Duggan before the bell,” step up and claim your prize.  Duggan clotheslines Brown, who thinks about leaving, but changes his mind.  Brown goes after Duggan’s head, but that ain’t gonna work.  This one ain’t pretty.  But at least it’s not as boring as some of these other matches on this card.  Yes, Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Bad News Brown may have the match of the night.  Brown goes for the Ghetto Blaster, but Duggan ducks and hits the three point stance clothesline.  Brown rolls out of the ring and grabs a chair.  Holy crap, is that Tim White as the referee?  Duggan grabs his two by four, and they block each other’s weapon shots with the other.  Duggan finally gets a 2×4 shot on Brown, who leaves, and it’s a double DQ.

Double Disqualification

Hall of Famer count:  20 (adding Duggan)

Mean Gene is with The Red Rooster.  Rooster babbles on about somethingorother.  Basically he says it’s a great day at the barnyard because he gets his rooster claws on the weasel.

Bobby “The Brain” Heenan (w/ The Brooklyn Brawler) vs. The Red Rooster

Heenan is clutching at his ribs as he heads to the ring after being assaulted by The Ultimate Warrior earlier in the night.  Heenan covers up in the corner, but the Rooster rams his head into the turnbuckle.  Heenan reverses an Irish Whip, but misses a charge, winding up shoulder first into the steel post, which allows Rooster to roll him up for three.

Winner by pinfall:  Red Rooster

Brawler attacks Rooster after the match.

Mean Gene is with Elizabeth.  She’s going to continue to support both men.  She can only pray that neither man gets seriously injured.

Shiavone says nobody is in the locker room because they all want to see the main event.  Sean Mooney asks people who is going to win.  Mixed reaction.

Savage, The Champion, is out first for this one.  Elizabeth gets her own entrance, to Savage’s music.  Hogan finally comes out, and we may be able to get this show over with soon.

WWF Championship:  Macho Man Randy Savage (c) vs. Hulk Hogan

These guys are hesitating to start the match.  Finally they lock up, and Hogan shows off his power.  Savage takes his time, getting out of the ring to buy himself time.  Savage gets a few shots in on Hogan but bails when Hogan comes back.  Savage escapes again in an effort to frustrate the challenger.  Man, this match isn’t that good.  You’d think it would be.  It’s not really.  Hogan gets busted open right above the eye at some point.  Savage keeps Hogan in a chinlock for a while.  Restholds!  Hogan starts to mount a comeback.  He goes to ram Savage into the steel post outside of the ring but Liz gets his way.  Savage manages to send Hogan into the post instead.  Savage sends Liz to the back.  Savage hits a double axe handle from the top rope to the floor.  He goes after the head and neck of Hogan.  He even goes as far as to choke Hogan with the tape from his wrists.  Savage nails the flying elbow, but Hogan powers out at one and starts to Hulk up.  He hits the three punches, big boot, and legdrop, and we’ve got a new WWF Champion!

Winner by pinfall and NEW WWF Champion, Hulk Hogan

Hall of famer count:  21 (adding Hogan)

Hogan poses for the last five minutes of the show.

ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts: Damn, that was a very difficult show to get through.  I sure as hell hope VI is better.  I have nothing really positive to say about this.  Tough to watch.  See you tomorrow everybody.

Post by thinksojoe

The founder of and it’s parent company, Fropac Entertainment, ThinkSoJoE has been a wrestling fan since he first saw WWF television in 1986 at the age of four. His first wrestling memory was Hulk Hogan on Saturday Night’s Main Event talking about getting King Kong Bundy in a cage at WrestleMania 2. Sixteen years later, he met Hulk Hogan on the eve of WrestleMania X-8. On December 9, 2013, he legitimately won a Slammy Award (Best Crowd of the Year). ThinkSoJoE currently hosts the weekly BWF Radio podcast.

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