WWE RAW results 3/29/2010By thinksojoe · · 1 Comment
John Cena walked out of WrestleMania the WWE Champion, MizShow walked out as Unified Tag Team Champions, Jack Swagger walked out as Mr. Money In The Bank, and HBK walked out and headed for the unemployment line. What’s going to happen tonight on RAW? We’ll find out!
Video: Shawn Michaels waves goodbye to the fans after failing to defeat The Undertaker.
It’s time to Burn It To The Ground – and Shawn Michaels is still in the opening video.
We’re live from the US Airways Center in Phoenix, AZ, and tonight we’ll see Shawn Michaels’ farewell. Thank you Shawn!
I WALK ALOOOOOOOOOONE!
The Animal, Batista, is here without a title around his waist. John Cena can beat Batista after all! The Animal says that he knows everybody (the fans interrupt him with chants of “You tapped out”) is expecting him to throw a fit, but he won’t give us the satisfaction. It was a blip on the radar. A fluke. Next month, nobody will remember WrestleMania. Batista doesn’t care what happened at WrestleMania, John Cena can’t beat him.
Cena feels the WrestleMania energy in the building. There was this guy who said that John Cena couldn’t beat Batista, but that guy must’ve missed WrestleMania, because John Cena did beat Batista. After all that talk about how Batista wanted this match at WrestleMania (he’s interrupted by a “Cena Sucks” chant), if Batista is the face of this company, then last night, the face of the company looked like this (Cena makes a stupid face), right before Cena made him tap out. Tonight, Shawn Michaels will write the final chapter of his storybook career, and as his career ends, Batista can add another chapter to his book. How? Rematch! It’ll be a historic RAW. Shawn Michaels’ farewell, and Cena/Batista for the WWE Championship. Cena knows that this is the point where the other guy says “not tonight.” He pleads with Batista to do something different. He wants to be the face of the company, let’s do this tonight. Say yes, let’s have a rematch! Batista asks the fans if they’d like to see that. They say yes. Batista nods and says “not tonight.” He takes a cheap shot at Cena, but Cena fights back and sends The Animal heading up the ramp with his tail between his legs. Jack Swagger attacks Cena from behind with the Money In The Bank Briefcase. He calls for a referee, he’s cashing in his MITB contract!
The referee gets to the ring as Cena locks in the STF – but Swagger escapes and changes his mind about cashing in the briefcase. Cena tells him any time, any place.
Video: Shawn Michaels debuts in the WWF
@theprynce “For once, do something different. For once, give the WWE Universe what they want!” -Ironic words from John Cena. #WWE #raw #bwf
@dasharpshooters Batista likes Fishsticks #wwe #raw #BWF
Last Night: Randy Orton beat Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes in a Triple Threat Match
Bahahahahahahahahahaha! Money Money Money Money Moneyyyyyyy
The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase, IRS, Nick Bockwinkel, Pat Patterson, and Arn Anderson make their way to the ring for some reason. Then Rowdy Roddy Piper, Sgt. Slaughter, Tony Garea, and Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat are out next. Jerry Lawler gets up from the booth and heads to the ring himself. The Legends surround the ring, and we welcome tonight’s guest hosts, Clark Duke and Rob Courdry from Hot Tub Time Machine. I don’t know which is which, and I really don’t care. Anyways, they have a couple things they want to say. Tonight’s main event will be Batista and Jack Swagger against John Cena and a partner of his choosing. There will also be a hot tub match. Those two time machine dudes vs. the WWE Divas. Oh boy. Anyways, the reason all of these great 80’s Superstars are surrounding the ring is because we’re going to have a Legend’s Lumberjack match. Here are your first two competitors..
If you close your eyes, your life, a naked truth revealed…
Christian is out first for this match. His opponent’s dad is one of the lumberjacks – Ted DiBiase!
@SMARKRAGE Who are these nerd with the mic #bwf #wwe
@SportsLunatic Legends lumberjack match! Awesome idea! #WWE
Christian def. Ted DiBiase in a Legends Lumberjack Match
Well, at least the time machine part of the night is pretty good. Not so sure about that hot tub part. It’s surreal to see all these legends around the ring. Christian escapes DreamStreet, DiBiase escapes the Killswitch, and then both men wind up outside. The legends send the two back into the ring then start brawling themselves. Ted DiBiase stops to watch, and Christian nails the Killswitch for the victory.
After the match, Ted Sr. helps Ted Jr. to his feet, much to the chagrin of the younger DiBiase, who shoves his father and walks away.
Video: January 11, 1992 – Shawn Michaels puts Marty Jannetty through the Barber Shop window, and launches his legendary solo career.
Triple H is walking backstage. He’ll be walking in the arena, NEXT!
@michaelwdorris That Barber Shop episode has always been one of my favorite moments ever. Ever! #wwe
@CT_FOX Million $ Man didn’t want Legends to throw son in ring, so they all went @ it.. GOTTA LUV #Legendsfights #wwe #raw #wrestling
Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler throw us to a video showcasing WrestleMania week – which hopefully I’ll be a part of for the fourth time next year.
Those Hot Tub idiots are backstage, and they meet up with the Divas in a hot tub. Oh boy. I’m turning to TNA. Apparently, whoever can stay in the hot tub with them the longest gets a future WWE Divas Championship match. There’s champagne. Samoa Joe is on TNA. I missed most of his promo. Orlando Jordan is doing some weird crap. I don’t care, RAW is back to non-diva crap.
Triple H says it’s a surreal night. The end of an era. He never thought it would end this way for Shawn. He knew he could beat The Undertaker. He didn’t think it would happen this way, it’s the end of an era. It seems like just yesterday that Triple H walked in the door of the WWE and saw Shawn Michaels and his bad mullet haircut. DX took on the world. A lot of times all they had was each other, but they took on the world. They fought everybody, side by side, back to back, and sometimes face to face, but they’ve always fought for each other and with each other. If this is it, then Triple H wanted come out here before everything else started tonight and all that happens. He wanted to come out and say that there’s something he’s always wanted to say to Shawn but he never has. He wants to say it now in front of the world.
Unfortunately, we won’t be hearing that yet, because Sheamus blasted The Game in the back of the head with a lead pipe. Trainers come out to check on Triple H.
@theanswerchaos Sheamus attacks the Game. Love it! Right before some big thing he had to say. Great heat off that…#WWE
@mpaul82: A Ghost just attacked HHH did anyone see that #wwe
So, for the benefit of those with short attention spaaaaaaaaaaans: Sheamus just blasted Triple H in the back of the head with a lead pipe.
Oh no. First the hot tub thing and now this. We’re having a WrestleMania rematch. Because the match didn’t suck bad enough the first time.
Too many damned Divas team 1 def. Too many damned Divas team 2.
What’s on TNA? Ok, fine, Eve pinned Maryse in like a second to win the match for her team.
After the match the face Divas go after Vickie but the heel Divas attack. The faces send them packing. Can we please be done with the damned Divas tonight? At least over on TNA they’ve got women who can actually wrestle in a first blood match for their title.
Video: WrestleMania X – Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon stole the show in the first televised WWE Ladder Match.
Bret Hart – NEXT!
@Mzrc10 The sad part is, that was better than their match last night. #WWE
@dasharpshooters “WHY CANT I QUIT YOU SHAWN” #Whatwashegonnasay #wwe #raw
Did You Know? I’m in a band called thinksobrain – and we’re playing our first show in nearly two years on May 14th!
Video: WrestleMania XII – The boyhood dream becomes a reality as Shawn Michaels defeats Bret “Hitman” Hart in an Iron Man Match for the World Wrestling Federation Championship.
Hey, speaking of that “Hitman” guy, he’s on his way to the ring! He wants to take this opportunity to congratulate Shawn Michaels on an epic career. Hart says HBK is one of the greatest wrestlers of all time, and he wants to wish him the best in the future. HBK said good things will happen. Bret finally got his closure. It was a great feeling to beat the holy hell out of Vince McMahon. Bret can feel Stu, Helen, Owen, and The British Bulldog sending high fives from heaven – an “Owen” chant breaks out. Bret opens up his jacket and has a picture of himself with Owen on his shirt. On behalf of himself and the Hart family, he wants to thank the fans. He wishes us all the best.
The Unified Tag Team Champions, The Miz and The Big Show make their way to the ring. Miz wants to know if Bret is really proud of beating Vince in a glorified 25-on-1 handicapped match. Miz says Bret is a thief. He robbed him of his time, time he can’t get back. He’s had to hear about everybody screwing each other, and he’s sick of it. If anybody deserves to talk about himself, it’s The Miz, not Bret Hart. Last night, in his very first WrestleMania match, he won. He’s 1-0. 17 wins away from tying The Undertaker. Don’t laugh – he’s awesome. Bret is another word – overrated. So is his entire family, including his dad. He’s the most overrated there is, was, and ever will be. Now get out of Miz’s ring before his fist gives his face closure. Bret says if Miz wants him to leave, he should make him. Big Show steps up and tells Bret he doesn’t want this. The Hart Dynasty’s music hits, and they come to back up Uncle Bret. The Tag Team Champions opt to call it a night. Bret asks where they’re going. He invites MizShow to take on the Hart Dynasty. Miz wants to go, Show doesn’t. Ultimately, they decide to head back to the ring.
@IAmJHPunk FINALLY! I have been waiting for the Dynasty to help Bret since he came back!! #wwe #raw #bwf
@AlyKat_730 … Seriously? The Hart family… is robbing me of my Miz-time?
The Hart Dynasty def. ShoMiz via countout
When we come back, David Hart Smith nails a delayed vertical suplex on The Miz. Tyson Kidd tgets the tag in, but unfortunately for him, Show does too. ShoMiz take over, getting Kidd trapped in their corner. Kidd finally gets the tag in to Smith, and it’s not long before the Harts nail the Hart Attack. Tyson locks the Sharpshooter in on The Miz, and after asking Miz if he’s going to listen to him, he pulls him out of the move. ShoMiz walk away and take the countout loss.
@AndrewJanus ah! CHYNA! avert your eyes! lol! #WWE
@theanswerchaos Hart Dynasty needs to be used. Excellent in the ring. Tyson is gonna be a future WWE champ one day. Its true…#WWE
WWE Rewind: Jack Thwagger was victoriouthhhhh at WrethleMania TwentyThikth to win the Money In The Bank contract.
This hot tub crap is still going on. Lame. Black Machismo is still employed by TNA. Beer Money is going to kill him. The other dude from Hot Tub Time Machine declares The Bellas the winners and introduces the other two guys to their new opponents. Mark Henry and Hornswoggle. Ugh.
Earlier Tonight: Triple H was knocked the hell out by Sheamus and a lead pipe.
Jack Thwagger ith out firtht for hith match, and he’th thtill drethhhed like Kurt Angle. Thufferin’ Thuccotash!
Oh great, and he gets to talk! He thmellth thomething. It smells like Money In The Bank. He told you. He told all of you last week that he’d win Money In The Bank. When he wants something, he’s the odds on favorite to get it. Earlier tonight he was toying around, just messing with John Cena. When he really cashes the briefcase in, he’ll be the odds on favorite to walk away with the WWE Championship. Swagger gets the “What?” treatment from the audience. We’ll see who Cena’s partner is, NEXT!
@shot_of_flair I love me some Jack Swagger! #WWE
@DelicateKTheory Swagger, say it. Don’t spray it. I want wrestlingm not a saliva shower.
@Madam_Jedge Wow…lots of Swagger bashers here…Brooky fact: both my kids have lisps…so refrain. (Sorry! I meant no harm!)
Swagger’s still standing in the ring pounding his chest and holding up his Money In The Bank briefcase when we come back. Batista finally decides to join him. John Cena hits the ring, and he says that his partner is an old friend of Batista’s…
I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand
Cena’s partner is The Viper, Randy Orton!
Randy Orton & John Cena def. Batista & Jack Swagger
Swagger and Cena start things off. Cena gets the better of the exchange and tags in Orton, who stomps away on Swagger as chants of “RKO” ring out through the arena. He plots to hit the RKO, but Swagger slides out of the ring and into a…
Swagger is in control of Cena when we come back, thanks to a clothesline from Batista during the break. He nails the WWE Champion with the double jump Vader bomb before tagging in Batista, who continues to work over Cena. Cena finally causes some separation by reversing a Batista Bomb attempt into a backdrop. Cena and Swagger are tagged in at the same time, and Orton rolls. Things start to get out of hand, but Orton brings them back under control by nailing Batista with an RKO and then nailing Swagger with it, pinning him for the victory
After the match, Cena and Orton exchange glares.
Video: Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker at WrestleMania 25
Shawn Michaels is introduced by Justin Roberts and he makes his way to the ring. Before he can get a word out, the bell tolls. The Phenom, The Undertaker, comes out to the stage and tips his hat to the Heat Break Kid. HBK finally gets to speak. He says he doesn’t really know what he’s going to say. The fans break into a “please don’t go” chant. He was 19 when he started doing this, and at 23 he started coming into our homes every week. The idea of being 44 and not coming into our homes on the TV every week is gonna be a little tough to get used to. A “thank you Shawn” chant breaks out. He appreciates us saying thank you, but he has to thank us, because for the longest time, this ring and all of us was all he had in his life. It was the only place he ever felt good about himself. Night in and night out, we were the only ones in the world that made him like himself. He’d like to thank a lot of people, but he’s afraid to do so out of fear he’ll forget somebody. He brings up Triple H. He’s gotta thank him for being his friend when nobody else wanted to be. There were a lot of people who didn’t like HBK, but Triple H never left his side. It’s a tough line of work to develop friendships in, but he thanks Hunter for the friendship they’ve shared the past 16 years. Another one to thank is the production team, along with Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Jim Ross. He thanks them for making him look way better than he really was. He says there’s a crazy redheaded kid in Stamford that he really has to thank. His name is Adam, and he’s the guy who puts together the videos. Of course – a “one more match” chant breaks out – he knows how a lot of people feel about career ending matches, and that people will be skeptical of his decision, but he doesn’t want to go back on his word to the fans and The Undertaker, and for 20+ years, he hasn’t hidden an awful lot from us, because it’s easier for him to be himself. He wants to honor his word. He appreciates the “one more match,” but he’s going to do everything in his power to make sure it doesn’t happen. The fans break into a “thank you, Shawn” chant again. Shawn thanks Bret Hart. He can’t tell us how much back in the 90’s he drove Bret crazy. Everything Bret’s ever said about him is true. He thanks Bret for forgiving him. Then there’s Vincent Kennedy McMahon. HBK doesn’t know if he’ll get in trouble for mentioning him or not, but it’s his farewell speech and he’ll say what he wants. He’d never be able to work for anybody else after working for Vince after 20 years. He’s the only person Shawn’s driven more crazy than Bret Hart. Vince gave HBK the opportunity to do what he loves to do, but Shawn thanks him for preventing him from making even bigger mistakes than he had. Lastly, he thanks each and every one of us. The “thank you Shawn” chant rises again. He’s gotten to travel the world and meet millions of people. He’s gotten to listen to each and every one of us for most of his life. He’s spent more time with us than with his own family. He thanks the fans for allowing him to come out and show off every night of his life. An “HBK” chant breaks out. Of course, he thanks Jesus Christ for saving him. To his family, Daddy’s coming home. This is how we started, and this is how we’ll end. The Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels, has left the building.
Shawn places the microphone in the center of the ring and walks away from it, perhaps for the very last time. Thank you, Shawn Michaels. From the entire BWF staff, the entire BWF fanbase, and from every wrestling fan all over the world, thank you. Triple H comes out to the stage as HBK gets up there and hugs him, leaving a pair of DX glowsticks on the stage.
My thoughts: I thought for a brief second about having somebody “guest host” the last 30 minutes of this RAW. Then I thought about it, and with Shawn Michaels being one of my favorite wrestlers of all time, I couldn’t let anybody else write this review. It doesn’t matter what else happened on the show, this was Shawn Michaels’ night. I came home after WrestleMania was over the other night, thinking of writing a tribute article to HBK, but Legend Killer had already beaten me to it, and I couldn’t have said it better myself. I grew up watching Shawn Michaels. His first WrestleMania was WrestleMania V, and for all intents and purposes, it was mine too, as I had just started watching wrestling a few months before the event. When he threw Jannetty through the Barber Shop window and developed the Heart Break Kid persona, he became my favorite wrestler. Two of the three WrestleMania’s that I’ve been to, he’s stolen the show – and the other one, he wasn’t a part of. The first man to enter at number 1 in the Royal Rumble and win. The first man to win Hell In The Cell. The first man to win an Elimination Chamber. Shawn Michaels is a guy who would go out every night, no matter how beat up he was, and give you 110%. Professional wrestling will never be the same again. Thank you, Shawn, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
Like this post? Subscribe to our RSS Feed today and never miss another!
Godaddy coupon bulletin. Several of the frequent Godaddy.com coupons have just changed. Here are latest coupons that are just released. These promo codes will be working in 2010. $7.49 Domain names and renewals – Use Godaddy promo codes OK9, ZINE10, or GOO3. 25% discount on orders of $100+ – Use Godaddy coupon code OK25. 30% Discount when you buy any com domain – Use Godaddy coupon OK30. $12.99 SSL Certificates – Use Godaddy.com coupon codes GOOSSL, OKSSL, or ZINESSL. Hosting Plan Discount – 20% Hosting Discount – Use Godaddy promo codes OK20H, ZINE20H1 or GOO20H. 10% off any size order – Use Go Daddy coupon codes OK7, GOO1 or ZINE8. $5 Off $30 or More – Use Go Daddy coupon codes GOO2 or ZINE9. 20% Off Any order of $50 or more – Use Go Daddy coupon OK8.