Guess what I don’t care about. RAW tonight. Why? Because I’m going to SmackDown tomorrow night. Oh yeah, yours truly won tickets to tomorrow night’s tapings in Buffalo. YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH BOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYY!
Last Week: Randy Orton RKO’d Edge and Wayne Brady.
I hear voices in my head…
The Viper, Randy Orton, is here. He’ll be in action against Edge at Over the Limit. Orton says that the reason he didn’t accept Edge’s offer last week is because he knows him. Edge sees him as a threat and he should. Getting drafted to RAW….
Meatloaf interrupts Orton. Seriously. Meatloaf. Bob. Bob had bitch tits. He tells Orton he’s the man. They were going to introduce him, but Meat couldn’t wait. He’s got a new album coming out tomorrow, and he’s got a song that needs to be Orton’s new theme. It was written by Jon Bon Jovi. Orton was 15 years old in St. Louis in 1995 and this is what he was doing. Meatloaf starts singing one of his new songs. Orton goes to leave. Meatloaf tells him it picks up. Then he starts singing another song. He tells him that his new album rocks. It’s got Jack Black and Hugh Laurie on it. Meatloaf tries to convince Orton to use his new song for a theme song, but Orton catches him with an RKO for his trouble.
You think you know me….
Edge comes to the stage and ponders that Orton doesn’t like celebrities, since he’s beaten up Meatloaf, Seth Green, Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Wayne Brady. Edge doesn’t like celebrities either. He called headquarters and complained. They tweeted him back, and they agree with him. So from here on out, guest hosts will have no authority on Monday Night RAW. That wasn’t enough for Edge. He thinks that this show needs a permanent GM. Someone with experience. Someone with authority. Somebody with the moxy to pull this off. And they agreed with him again. You’ll never guess who the new GM of RAW will be. So without further adieu, Edge gives us Vickie Guerrero.
EXCUSE ME! Vickie states for the record that despite her personal relationship with Edge in the past, she’s here tonight to be a true professional. Speaking of professionalism, Orton attacking celebrities is something that the WWE does not condone. So, Orton will be reprimanded. Orton tells her to reprimand him to his face. Edge says Orton would like that, but that’s what she’s talking about. He’s a bully. Tonight, he’ll find out what it feels like to be bullied. Vickie announces that due to behavior issues, Orton will take on Edge and a partner of his choice in a 2 on 1 handicap match.
Chris Jericho and The Miz are walking backstage. Jericho is in a match with Unified Tag Team Championship ramifications, and that is NEXT!
@Deana_gjl Okay wow! Seriously. Can’t they just pawn her off on TNA? I hate Vickie. lol
@RatedRKOChick You are not suppose to be good with someone who divorced you and used you! WTF VICKIE
The Pittsburgh Steelers are in the front row, and surprisingly, nobody put anybody else in a headlock.
Michael Cole confirms that Vickie Guerrero is the GM of RAW now.
If Chris Jericho wins his match, he and The Miz will have a Unified Tag Team Championship match at Over The Limit.
Jericho is out first for his match, and we see highlights of The Miz and Jericho beating up David Hart Smith last week. Speaking of DH Smith, he’s Jericho’s opponent, and he’s accompanied by his cousin Natalya.
Chris Jericho def. David Hart Smith
Jericho gets control in the early going, and we learn that Tyson Kidd and The Miz will have a match later on tonight where if Kidd wins, one of the Harts get a shot at the United States Championship next week on RAW from Toronto. Smith starts to mount a comeback, using his power to his advantage. Smith manages to lock in the Sharpshooter, but Jericho makes it to the ropes. Jericho gets a thumb to Smith’s eye and nails the Codebreaker for the victory.
Backstage, Edge is talking to Batista. Later tonight, we’ll find out what kind of match Batista will have with John Cena at Over the Limit. But up next, it’s our guest host for the evening, FLAVOR FLAV!
@dasharpshooters Whats up with Batista and his Cat Burglar outfit? #wwe #raw #bwf
Rey Mysterio takes on CM Punk this Friday on SmackDown. Now I’m really looking forward to going to the show tomorrow.
R-Truth raps his way to the ring, with Flavor Flav as his hype man. William Regal is standing ringside for some reason. Truth introduces Flav. Flav gets a cheap pop, then gets them all to yell “FLAVOR FLAV!” He promotes his upcoming show by babbling on about somethingorother. He finally shuts up, and we’ve got a match.
R-Truth def. William Regal via disqualifcation. Presumably.
Well, this didn’t last long. The match started and Truth was attacked by Primo and Carlito.
Ted DiBiase was waiting for them at the top of the ramp, and he handed them both envelopes.
Still to come, Edge and a partner of his choosing take on Randy Orton.
@stevenamoney Ted DiBiase hired Puerto Ricans because they work for less money. #WWE
@lavabubble WWE, reinforcing racial stereotypes since the big bang. #WWE
Video package: Eve
Earlier today, Maryse trained with a martial arts instructor.
Josh Matthews asks Orton if he’s concerned about his match tonight. He says no, but he wants Vickie at ringside so he can make sure tonight is a night she won’t forget.
@TinaLovesTiff Maryses hair is terrible. Noticably fake…like her
Next week, Buzz Aldrin will host Monday Night RAW. Or maybe not. Mark Henry hit him with a chair. It’s a commercial free RAW next week!
Zack Ryder is in the ring, and wtf, he doesn’t get an intro with that awesome theme song? We’re stuck listening to Cole talk about how this will be the last RAW from the Igloo in Pittsburgh. Alicia Fox and Gail Kim are ringside, and Ryder is flirting with them. He says the last great moment the Igloo will have will be him getting his first win on RAW. He just might – his opponent is Evan Bourne.
Evan Bourne def. Zack Ryder
It’s all Bourne in the early going, but when he goes for Air Bourne, Ryder catches him. He nails the Rough Ryder, but only scores a two count. Bourne gets Ryder down, but as he climbs the ropes, Alicia Fox distracts him. Gail Kim knocks her down, and Bourne manages to nail the Air Bourne for the victory. He leaves with Gail Kim.
Last week: John Cena beat the time set by Batista, but before he could announce the stipulation for Over the Limit, he was attacked by Sheamus.
The Champ is here – John Cena makes his way to the ring. Cena thought his victory at Extreme Rules was creative, but a lot of people thought it was cowardly. Cena is not a coward, so he’ll prove it tonight. He stands here in a position of great advantage. He can have any match he wants at Over the Limit. The match will be fair, competitive, and brutal. It’ll also be the last time he faces Batista for the WWE Championship. If Cena loses, he’ll forfeit his rematch clause. In two weeks at Over The Limit with the WWE Championship on the line, he’ll face Batista in an I quit match. If Batista wants to shut him up, all he’s gotta do is make him say two words. It’s funny. He owes it all to Sheamus. If Sheamus didn’t kick him in the head last week, he would’ve made a different decision. So why doesn’t Sheamus come out so Cena can thank him in person.
The Celtic Warrior comes out to the stage and says that if he comes to the ring, he’ll leave Cena in no condition to beat Batista. Everybody knows it. Does Cena really want Sheamus to come down there? Cena says he’ll take his chances. Sheamus says Cena is a foolish man. That decision cost him his WWE Championship. Batista tries to attack Cena from behind, and it’s a distraction from Sheamus that allows him to pull it off. Sheamus hits a wicked backbreaker on Cena, and Batista takes over, ramming Cena’s back into the ring post, then tossing him to Sheamus who hits a pump kick. Batista goes for the Batista Bomb, but Mark Henry makes the save.
Backstage, Edge tells Vickie it’s all set, he’s found a partner. Then he apologizes for everything he said about her the last time they were on RAW together. He asks her to be ringside for his match tonight. She declines, but Edge encourages her, promising that nothing will happen. Besides, if Orton comes after him, she can fire him on the spot. She agrees to be there.
Tyson Kidd and Natalya are already in the ring. If Tyson wins this match, The Miz will have to defend his title against a member of the Hart family next week. The Miz hits the ring, and we’re set for action.
Tyson Kidd def. The Miz
Kidd wins this one within a couple of minutes, using an Owen Hart-like rollup to score the pinfall.
David Hart Smith comes to ringside to celebrate with Kidd, and The Miz grabs a microphone. Did Kidd really win something? The stipulation was that if Kidd beat The Miz, The Miz decides who he faces next week. So, Miz has decided he’s not going to face Kidd, nor is he going to face Smith. And as much as Natalya would like to get in the ring and wrestle around with The Miz, she can keep dreaming. Next week on RAW, The Miz will defend the United States Championship against… Bret “Hitman” Hart!
Josh Matthews has just learned that Batista will face Mark Henry later tonight. Batista wonders if Matthews has heard that Batista will face John Cena in an I Quit match at Over the Limit. Batista says he won’t make Cena say I Quit, he’ll make him scream “I Quit.”
@TheMizMagnet Miz broke mah heart… Pickin’ Bret… Ugh… I wanna punch an infant after tonight…
The WWE NXT roster is in the ring, and they’ll be in an 8 on 4 match against RAW Superstars. One of these guys are going home tomorrow night, but hey, at least they get to leave in Buffalo. Their opponents are John Morrison, Yoshi Tatsu, Goldust, and Santino Marella.
NXT Rookies def. RAW Superstars
The rookies impress here. The highlight is the martial arts battle between Justin Gabriel and Yoshi Tatsu. Morrison gets the tag in as the pros are reeling and takes over on Heath Slater. Morrison looks for Starship Pain, but he’s distracted by Skip Sheffield long enough for Slater to get the knees up. Slater tags in Daniel Bryan, who gets backdropped, allowing Morrison to tag in Marella, who is rolled up with a small package by Bryan to give the rookies the win!
Still to come, a 2-0n-1 Handicap Match featuring Edge and a partner of his choosing vs. Randy Orton
@DanielBryanNXT Tonight was the return of Mr. Small Package… he hasn’t made an appearance in awhile. Being on Raw 2 weeks in a row was great!
SmackDown Rebound: Drew McIntyre finds himself fired by Teddy Long after an attack on Matt Hardy.
This Friday, it’s Christian vs. Kofi Kingston for the vacant WWE Intercontinental Championship! Looking forward to that one. Here’s a tidbit – the longest Intercontinental Championship run in WWE History – yes, I’m referring to the Honky Tonk Man – started in Buffalo, which is where SmackDown takes place this week. Hooray for me – I’ll be there!
Flavor Flav is backstage, and the Bella Twins want to know more about Nite Tales. Flav explains the show. Vladimir Kozlov and Santino burst in, arguing about something. Flav tells them to speak English. Kozlov says he needs a restraining order because Santino won’t leave him alone. Santino says he’s just trying to explain to Kozlov that they’d be a good tag team. Kozlov says Santino always loses. Flav says he thinks we can work this out. William Regal comes in and tells Kozlov to pay no attention to Santino. Flav says that Kozlov needs to hear Santino out. Regal says that Flav is ridiculous and has no talent. Anyone can rap. Flav says he bets Regal can’t rap. Santino would like to hear him try. Regal says he doesn’t do foolish things. Kozlov tells him to not just stand there, bust a move. Regal says “if you insist.”
Straight out of Blackpool, I’m William Regal
My rhymes so intense, they shouldn’t be legal
My style is refined, not crude and crass
I’ll keep you grounded like volcanic ash
I’ll take you down, rung by rung
I’m just like British Parliament, I’m completely hung
Straight up gangsta trippin’, yes boy!
Flav says it’s the most ridiculous and horrifying thing he’s ever heard in his life, and the correct way to say it is, “Yeeeaaah! Boooyyyy!”
Michael Cole acts like a retarded parrot, screaming “Yeah Boy” over and over again.
We get a rundown of the Over The Limit card.
Batista makes his way to the ring, and he grabs himself a seat in the middle of the ring. He faces Mark Henry, NEXT!
@PremiumBlandrew William Regal rapping > Everything else on TV, ever.
@Synful_Insanity dear @WWE i see huge potential in a William Regal rap album =) thats is all…..
Batista is still in his chair in the middle of the ring when we come back. Mark Henry makes his way to the ring, and Batista doesn’t bother getting up until a perplexed Henry gets in the ring. The Animal attacks Henry as he’s climbing through the ropes, and then assaults his shoulder with the chair. Batista locks in a submission hold. Henry taps, but Batista won’t let go. Referees try to pull the number one contender off of The World’s Strongest (Kool-Aid) Man, and Batista finally lets go. He looks down at Henry, giving him a few kicks, saying “he’ll be ok.”
Earlier tonight: Randy Orton RKOs Meatloaf.
Orton is walking backstage, which can only mean one thing – he’s in action, NEXT!
Buzz Aldrin hosts a commercial free RAW next week, where we’ll see John Cena face Sheamus, and Bret “Hitman” Hart will challenge The Miz for the United States Championship. Believe it!
I hear voices in my head…
The Viper, Randy Orton, heads to the ring for his handicap match. Edge is out first for his team, naturally, and he’s accompanied by Vickie Guerrero. His tag team partner finally has his own video wall dealie – it’s former Legacy member Ted DiBiase!
Randy Orton def. Ted DiBiase & Edge
The announcers explain how DiBiase got his money – a trust fund set up by Ted Sr. was set up to by accessible by Ted Jr. either when he turned 30 or he had his first WrestleMania match. The tandem of DiBiase and Edge have control throughout the early stages of this match. Orton finally starts to battle back. He knocks Edge off of the apron, then nails his neck/backbreaker combo on DiBiase. The Viper coils, and tries for an RKO, but DiBiase shoves him off. Orton backdrops DiBiase out of the ring. R-Truth heads down to the ring, distracting DiBiase long enough for Orton to catch an RKO and the victory.
Orton turns his attention to Vickie Guerrero. Vickie screams for Edge, and tells Orton not to do it or he’s… She’s warning him. She gets nervous as Orton approaches, and she resigns from her position as RAW GM. Edge comes after Orton, but Orton drops him on the floor with an RKO. Orton gets back in the ring and surveys the damage he’s done to Edge on the outside.
@Niki_Sushi Huh. Looks like DiBiase has 2 Cubans, 1 Canadian, and 1 Pig. Guess his money stretches farther than I thought.
My Thoughts: Great. Does this mean I still have to deal with Vickie on SmackDown? Pretty good show. Not sure what Meatloaf was doing there, but it worked.
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