*NOTE: Sorry for the delay in getting this review to you guys, technical difficulties kept me from posting this last night *

Tonight, it’s the WWE Three For All – all three World Championships are on the line tonight as RAW brings us three hours of action from Charlotte, North Carolina!

Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler announce that Mr. McMahon is here and expected to name a new GM.  Well, Cole does, Lawler says McMahon may be here for something else.

Last week, Legacy broke Batista’s arm, and Triple H broke Orton’s credibility by beating the crap out of him for what seemed like an hour or so.

RAW still wants to be loved.  Maybe if it was more entertaining.

  • Jericho says that RAW’s gone to hell without him – the GM quit and the title is vacant.
  • Mysterio’s mask will be his downfall, and only Jericho can be his savior and set him free
  • Mysterio is out next, still wearing a mask
  • There’s a timer counting down to the WWE Championship match.  Yet this match has no time limit.  Hooray for suspension of disbelief!
  • Jericho continues to go for Mysterio’s mask.
  • Mysterio builds momentum
  • Jericho ducks a 619 and considered doing one himself, but got caught with a moonsault instead.
  • Mysterio nails a second 619 attempt.
  • Jericho catches Mysterio out of a West Coast Pop and goes for the mask.  Mysterio fights to keep it on but catches a Codebreaker for his troubles.  Jericho retains.

Mr. McMahon is up next.

    Josh Matthews asks Randy Orton about Triple H.  Orton says triple H knows that he can’t get to Orton without a sledgehammer.  He plans on taking back the WWE Championship tonight.  John Cena interrupts the interview.  He says the WWE Universe always talks about Randy Orton.  They want to know why a superstar with so much talent continues to be such a spineless coward.  He reminds Orton that it’s not just him and Triple H involved in the WWE Championship match tonight.

    Last week, Vickie Guerrero quit.  Mr. McMahon is standing by.  Cole asks who the new GM is.  McMahon says he’s here to make that announcement.  After much deliberation, he’s not going to announce the new GM, he’s going to allow someone else to do that.  When opportunity knocks, you’ve gotta walk through the door and sieze the moment.  When someone gives you an offer you can’t refuse, don’t refuse it.  With mixed emotion, his announcement is that he’s selling Monday Night RAW.  To who?!?  He’ll make the announcement after they clear up the WWE Championship situation.  Right after the match.  If someone would’ve said that he’d be announcing this person as the new owner of Monday Night RAW, he would have told him then, there’s no chance in hell.

    • Christian hits the ring first, followed by ECW Champion Tommy Dreamer
    • Pretty basic match here.  Still pretty decent though.
    • Christian reverses a DDT attempt into a Killswitch attempt.
    • Dreamer picks up the win via rollup pin.

    The Bellas and Kelly Kelly are wondering if they still have jobs, and ponder if it’s Oprah, Paris Hilton, or Barack Obama who bought the show.  Who read my Friday Night SmackDown results last week and stole my Oprah thunder?

    Batista got surgery last Tuesday.  Let’s watch a slideshow!

    • Randy Orton is out first, followed by The Big Show, then John Cena and lastly, Triple H
    • Big fight style introductions for this one.
    • As expected, Cena and Big Show went after each other early, as did Orton and Triple H
    • Cena and Triple H work together to knock Big Show out of the ring.
    • Cena hits the Protobomb, but gets Spinebustered out of a 5 knuckle shuffle attempt before Big Show takes them both down.  Show goes after Cena while Orton attacks Triple H.
    • Orton goes for the punt on The Big Show, who easily caught his leg.
    • Show hits a Vader Bomb on Cena, but Orton breaks up the pinfall.
    • Show spears Triple H for a two.
    • Orton gets thrown off of an RKO attempt on Big Show.
    • Triple H pedigrees Big Show.
    • Cena Attitude Adjusts Triple H, gets a two on Big Show.
    • Cena Attitude Adjusts Big Show, gets two before Orton breaks it up
    • Orton tosses Cena aside and RKO’s Big Show for the win and the Championship!

    Mr. McMahon makes his way to the ring.  He comes to us with a heavy heart, and he’s done a lot of soul searching.  He’s had conversations with family, friends, and financial advisors, and he’s got no doubt that he’s made the right decision to sell Monday Night RAW.  It will be independantly owned an operated by a man Mr. McMahon has a history with.  He’s been compensated in overwhelming fashion.  Via Satellite, the new owner of Monday Night RAW…


    The Donald is now the sole owner of Monday Night RAW, and he vows to do stuff that’s never been seen before.  The people deserve something special.  Vince made a lot of money off of these people.  Mr. McMahon wants the WWE Universe to give back to him, since he’s given so much to them.  The Donald’s first act as owner is to do something unheard of, something Mr. McMahon was too cheap to do himself.  Next week, RAW will be live without commercials!  Mr. McMahon doesn’t think he’s serious.  The Donald says he’s serious.  No commercials.  None.  It’s because of Donald Trump.  Vince thinks The Donald has lost his marbles.  Trump will personally be on RAW next week to run things the right way.  He tells Mr. McMahon to not get in his way, and that he looked better bald after Trump shaved his head.  Mr. McMahon cuts off the new owner and wants to give his farewell address.  Mr McMahon is in charge until next week, and tonight we’ll find out who will face Randy Orton at the Bash, via a 10 man over-the-top battle royal.  Mr. McMahon is going to do something that Mr. Trump doesn’t believe in, he’s going to take us to commercial.

    • Mickie James hits the ring first.
    • Her opponent is Rosa Mendez, who convinces Beth Phoenix to let her go to the ring by herself.
    • WWE Divas Champion Maryse comes down to ringside.
    • The crowd is pretty much dead here.  Mickie picks up the win with the DDT, Maryse takes off.

    Goldust and Hornswoggle are shooting t-shirts out to the crowd.  The crowd is more interested in free t-shirts than WWE Divas.  They’re interrupted by The Miz, who is now 7 and 0 against John Cena.  He’s also got a message for Donald Trump.  If Trump is really ready to take the show to the next level, then the new face of RAW is THE MIZ!  He told everybody last week that he’d back up what he’d been saying about John Cena – and then he left him unconscious in the middle of the ring.   Tonight, he’s going to toss Cena over the top rope and then win the WWE Championship at The Bash.  Miz wants the endorsements and the movie deals and everthing.  He then realizes that Hornswoggle and Goldust are still in the ring, and tells them to get out.  Goldust says he’s disappointed by Miz’s attempt at playing mind games.  He wants to know where Miz’s creativity is.  He once gave Ahmed Johnson mouth to mouth to get in his head, Miz just runs his mouth.  Goldust thinks he should change his name from The Miz to the Whiz, because when he starts talking that’s what everybody gets up to take.  Miz isn’t amused.  H calls Goldust a circus act.  Hornswoggle told Goldust to tell Miz that the real reality check is that he’s a loser.  Goldust is in no position to talk to Miz about how to succeed.  This is his fourth or fifth go-round in the WWE, every time hoping to re-capture a little bit of the magic.  In 1999 Goldust was cool, but now he’s a t-shirt shooting joke.  Goldust is a waste of The Miz’s time.  Instead, he’s going to show Donald Trump that he’s not afraid to take risks.  Miz then cheap-shots Goldust with the microphone, and slams Hornswoggle to the canvas before grabbing the t-shirt gun.  He backs Hornswoggle into the corner with the t-shirt gun and shoots him in the midsection.

    Josh Matthews wanted to know if CM Punk (who has “MISAWA” written on his wrist tape) has any regrets about cashing in the Money In The Bank.  Punk says that last year nobody asked him about regrets, and he if Edge had won the ladder match, he’d probably be here as the conquering hero.  Matt Hardy tells Punk he should have no regrets, because it’s exactly what Matt would have done.  Punk says Matt Hardy wouldn’t know, because he’s never won Money In The Bank or a World Championship.  Punk says that he’s earned everything he’s won in the WWE.

    • Edge heads to the ring first, followed first by Jeff Hardy and then by World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk
    • “Big Fight” introductions, as has become the case with World Title matches in WWE.
    • The North Carolina crowd is firmly behind the Cameron, NC native Jeff Hardy.
    • Punk went for a doomsday device when Edge had Hardy up for an Electric Chair, but Hardy rolled up Edge before the impact for two.
    • Punk goes for GTS on Jeff Hardy, but Edge chopblocked him out of it.
    • Edge locks in the sharpshooter on Punk, but Hardy locked in a sleeper on Edge.
    • Edge goes for a spear on Punk, who leapfrogs it into a Sunset Flip for a one before it’s broken up by Hardy.
    • Hardy goes for the Swanton on Punk, but Edge shoves him off the top.
    • Edge goes for another spear on Punk, but gets powerslammed out of it.
    • Punk goes for GTS on Edge, who shoves him into a Twist of Fate attempt by Hardy, which is reversed into a GTS attempt by Hardy, who gets out of it in time to get speared by Edge for a two count.
    • Punk was shoved off of the top rope and landed knee first on the steel steps.  The trainer immediately goes to Punk’s aid on the outside.
    • Hardy hits a Whisper In The Wind on Edge, but Punk manages to break it up.  Hardy goes after Punk’s injured leg on the outside.
    • Hardy hits a Twist of Fate on Edge, followed by a Swanton.  He gets two before Punk pulls him out of the ring.
    • Punk rolls back into the ring and pins Edge to retain the title!

    Teddy Long comes out onto the stage to congratulate CM Punk.  He’ll be defending at The Bash against Jeff Hardy in a one on one match.

    • Priceless are guest commentators for the next match
    • The Hart Dynasty make their way out first.  They’re set to take on Primo and Carlito in a non-title match.
    • Priceless are facing Primo and Carlito for the Unified Tag Team Championship at The Bash
    • Ted DiBiase continually calls the next PPV “The Great American Bash.”
    • Carlito hits the Backstabber on David Hart Smith, but Legacy attack before he can get the pinfall.  DiBiase and Rhodes stand tall in the ring when it’s over.

    WWE toured Europe last week.  They did a show at an actual colosseum – how awesome is that?

    Santino is backstage with Mr. McMahon.  He wanted to be clear that even though there’s a new owner, he still has a job.  Right?  I mean, what if a certain Superstar had a twin sister who everybody thought was really him because she has no cleavage, a five o’ clock shadow, and what appears to be “testiclees.”  Mr. McMahon says Trump may like Santino’s sister.  His phone then rings (his ringtone is No Chance in Hell).  It was Donald Trump, who wants to make an announcement later on tonight.  He tells Santino that he hates billionaires with big egos.  Santino says he must hate himself then.  McMahon asks Santino what he said.  Santino says he compared to Donald Trump he’s to even rich, which angers McMahon even more.  Santino suggests Mr. McMahon spend more time with the grandkids since he’s pushing 70.  60?  Not a day over 50.  Hell, Vince is younger than Santino – who excuses himself after that.

    • The Battle Royal participants in order of entrance:  Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, MVP, Matt Hardy, William Regal, US Champion Kofi Kingston, The Miz, The Big Show, Triple H and John Cena.
    • (Before the match starts, it’s announced that CM Punk will take on Rey Mysterio and Jeff Hardy will battle Chris Jericho this Friday Night on SmackDown)
    • WWE Champion Randy Orton watches on from the ramp.
    • Matt Hardy eliminated by The Big Show
    • MVP eliminated by The Big Show
    • Big Show eliminated by everybody else.
    • (Thanks to JT for covering the last 10-15 minutes of the show as follows)
    • They’re claiming there’s only 6 left but don’t mention the Miz being eliminated (he went out the bottom rope before the break)
    • Legacy eliminates Kofi Kingston
    • Legacy eliminates William Regal
    • Cena eliminates Dibiase
    • HHH eliminates Rhodes
    • HHH pedigrees Cena
    • Legacy attacks HHH
    • The Miz returns
    • HHH & Cena eliminate The Miz
    • HHH eliminates Cena
    • Your winner- HHH

    Trump’s music plays.   He congrats HHH & announces that the title match won’t be at the Bash, but on RAW next week in a Last Man Standing match.

    My Thoughts: Donald Trump is my hero.  I mean that, I really do.  The only problem I have is that The Donald isn’t all that great as a wrestling character, and now he owns the show.  On the bright side, Trump doesn’t have to be a wrestling character, he has to play a business man looking out for his customers, and that’s a role Donald doesn’t have to play, because he lives it every day.  The other thing is, The Donald is a busy, busy man and won’t likely be taking a hell of a lot of time out of his schedule to devote to his RAW role – and he doesn’t have to.  He can come out next week, say “I’m a very busy man, and so I’ve hired a General Manager that I can trust to handle things here on Monday Night RAW,” and then show up on the show on occasion.  The only thing I’m hoping is that this doesn’t mean McMahons overrunning SmackDown now.

    Randy Orton once again wins back the WWE Championship, and all is once again right with the world.  He’s got Triple H next week on RAW in a Last Man Standing match.  Another one.  They’ve had two so far, with Orton winning the first and Triple H taking the second (and injuring Orton’s collarbone in the process).

    I hate how the announcers and the other wrestlers try to make it seem like The Miz is annoying and nobody likes him.  The problem with that logic is that The Miz is the most entertaining character on the entire RAW roster – yes, even trumping you, Santino.  Believe him when he says it, because it’s absolutely 100% true – he’s The Miz… and he’s… AWESOME!

    WWE must be reading BoredWrestlingFan.  Remember on Friday, I mentioned Oprah Winfrey and hoped that I’d get search engine hits for “Oprah Winfrey WWE?”  Well, they tried to steal my thunder by having Kelly Kelly or one of the Bellas ponder aloud if the new “owner” of Monday Night RAW would be Oprah.  Damn you, WWE. Damn you.

    That’s it for RAW, join me later on tonight as I bring you, for the first time in months, ECW in Real Time!

    Post by thinksojoe

    The founder of BoredWrestlingFan.com and it’s parent company, Fropac Entertainment, ThinkSoJoE has been a wrestling fan since he first saw WWF television in 1986 at the age of four. His first wrestling memory was Hulk Hogan on Saturday Night’s Main Event talking about getting King Kong Bundy in a cage at WrestleMania 2. Sixteen years later, he met Hulk Hogan on the eve of WrestleMania X-8. On December 9, 2013, he legitimately won a Slammy Award (Best Crowd of the Year). ThinkSoJoE currently hosts the weekly BWF Radio podcast.

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    1 Comment

    1. I like the format used here.

      So Orton loses the title at "Extreme Rules" to a crippled Batista, wins it back on RAW a week later, and faces Trips for it next Monday in a "Last Man Standing" match? Umm, ok…. Hopping around a bit much, aren't we?

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