This week on BWFRadio, we talk about the fallout from WWE Survivor Series, including the arrival of Sting, which the crew is split on as far as how big of a deal it actually was. We discuss the following night on RAW, and our thoughts about the Anonymous RAW General Manager returning next week, despite having been revealed as Hornswoggle a while back. We praise Lucha Underground as a must-see show for wrestling fans.
In the second half, we talk about what everybody is talking about – CM Punk’s appearance on Colt Cabana’s “Art of Wrestling” podcast. We try to be objective as we talk about such topics as Punk’s accusations against WWE’s doctor (including a story from 2010 revolving around last week’s guest Charlie Haas), Triple H’s reputation for not putting talent over, and of course Ryback’s botches in matches and spots with Punk.
Also in the news, Yoshi Tatsu is injured at the hands of AJ Styles, Scott Steiner signs with Global Force Wrestling, Jeff Hardy can work Canada (with some restrictions), and Mike Tenay may no longer be doing commentary when IMPACT returns on Destination America in January. All this and more on BWF Radio!
Last weeks review was way too long and I’ve gone into far less detail on the matches this time. Still a lot of detail on the promos but I wasn’t sure how to cut that down.
The show starts with Brooke Tessmacher’s ass. She meets Bully Ray and says if he has his championship and her then nothing can really be wrong. Bully says they’re going to the ring and the “previously on Impact” segment aired.
For the last two weeks it’s been Hardcore Justice and now it’s Must Win Thursday? The Hell? They messed up the Bound For Glory series so they’re just rushing it and finishing up the qualifiers tonight.
We open with Bully who’s in a really, really, really bad mood. He said someone was missing from the ring, meaning Devon. He wants answers and asks Brodus Clay what happened and some douche in the crowd shouted “he failed just like his father!” I’d tell you what Brodus said but I don’t care. I didn’t care what Knux had to say either. Wes said he doesn’t know what happened and we finally get to Kenny who doesn’t know either and says it could have been any of them who were gone and it is how it is. Bully says it is and what it is is a disappointment. Devon has always been a disappointment. He never needed Devon and never will again and Toto is the only man he needs. Bully wants to give Toto his own cut and Kenny goes nuts and Bully doesn’t stand for that and puts him down before calling out Brooke. Brooke comes out with an Aces and Eights jacket straight from ShopTNA.com. Kenny gets in the way again and says he wants to vote on it. Toto puts the jacket on and Bully takes Devon’s nametag off of it. Toto means so much to Bully that he didn’t even give him his own cut, he gave him Devon’s. Bully finishes up by saying he can’t wait to see Hogan and can’t wait to introduce him to the only Brooke that’s ever meant anything to him.
One of my favourite Bully Ray moments
There’s a backstage segment with Jeff Hardy who’s talking out loud this time and has his eyes open. I didn’t really care what he had to say. I used to like Jeff but then I grew up and realised what a drug lord he is. Also shown walking backstage is Hulk Hogan. What wasn’t shown was JT Hogan attacking him dude brother.
Jeff Hardy vs Kazarian
Both men go for quick pins and of course neither of them get the win in the first minute. Only people who go against Sin Cara get that. Kaz counters a Twist of Fate and the high enziguri by crotching Hardy, and Kaz takes control of the match with leg drops and loses control when Jeff hits a faceplant. Hardy puts on a Figure Four Leg Lock and I don’t know enough about that hold to know how well he did it. It seems like a move only Ric Flair can apply properly. Kaz escapes and counters a Twist of Fate for a two count and gets another two count with a kick to the head. Jeff hits a Twist of Fate and a Swanton for the victory and the announcers have the tamarity to call this guy unpredictable.
Jeff Hardy is watching you, with his eyes closed.
Backstage with the Aces and Eights and they’re teasing more dissension now. Brodus says if Bully doesn’t care about Devon he probably doesn’t care about them. Spoiler alert; he doesn’t! Kenny asks if they voted to not vote and my brain started hurting as I was reminded why I don’t like the guy. Kenny says if it keeps up then they’re going to hold another vote Bully won’t like. Actually I’d be kinda happy if they formed the Aces And Eights Wolfpack. No, wait, they’d be Aces and Eights Hollywood. Bully would be the Wolfpack.
I can’t photoshop at all so it’s just regular old nWo for you.
Gail Kim vs ODB in a two out of three falls match
The winner of this will be the number one contender and because they’ve been trading wins over the course of weeks they’re now going to exchange them in one match. Tenay plugs the Knockouts Knockdown one night only PPV and says all my favourite knockouts will be there. I beg to differ as a lot of Knockouts said they wouldn’t go and my favourite knockout is Madison Rayne who definitely won’t be there.
It’s slow paced but it makes sense. It’s two out of three falls so they have to take it slow to preserve their energy. Gail goes for a submission that was, to quoth the commentators, halfway between a Texas Cloverleaf and a Sharpshooter. ODB taps and Gail picks up the first fall. Has anyone ever won a two out of three falls match 2-0? There’s a commercial break and we come back to Gail breaking ODB’s leg. Gail goes for the submission again and ODB counters with a small package for the win and it’s 1-1. Gail goes for the corner Figure Four. ODB fights her way to her feet and hits a clothesline for a two count and then ODB stands up instantly. Selling is as dead as kayfabe it seems. Gail locks in another submission but ODB reaches the ropes. ODB locks on a Sharpshooter and Gail taps out. ODB wins and gets the title shot.
I actually kinda miss these guys performing together
There’s a backstage segment with Velvet Sky who says that she’s rooting for ODB, and that we’re in for a surprise when the Knockouts PPV airs. You mean some women actually agreed to be a part of it? What I wasn’t surprised by though was when the camera went from Velvet’s face, zoomed in on her tits, and then zoomed back out as it went back up to her face. I kid you not, that genuinely happened. Velvet said she wanted to be at Hardcore Justice but couldn’t because she had personal issues to deal with at home. It turns out that she’s dating Sabin. I had absolutely no clue. The camera zoomed in on her tits, AGAIN. THAT HAPPENED TWICE WHAT THE FUCK TNA. Anyway Vel Vel says that even though she is dating Sabin they keep their business and personal lives seperate.
There’s another backstage segment with Daniels and Roode. Roode says he’ll take care of AJ and if Daniels takes care of Aries they’ll be alright. Daniels says Aries is no gentleman and he’s going to take care of it, right now. The segment ends with Roode putting the Appletini on a chair. That’s a nice little touch.
After a quick replay of Aries quote unquote turning on the Extraordinary Gentelman’s Organisation Borasch is backstage with Aries who says it was a no go because he’s all show and a bunch of other stuff. He believes if you want something done right you do it yourself and that’s why he turned down the Main Even Mafia too. He only relies on himself. Aries hopes AJ makes it to the finals becuase when they’re in the ring, it’s magic. Daniels interrupts and says that Aries missed out on his golden ticket by turning down the Gentlemen. I thought that only happened to the Knockouts? They argue for a little bit and Daniels says Aries is gonna be knocked flatter than Miley Cyrus’s ass. Still not seen that, still never will. Aries says he’ll slap Daniels so hard he’ll start to grow hair again. Damn I love those guys.
Hulk Hogan is still backstage. I’m not entirely sure how he fought off JT Hogan. He’s asked some questions and says everything will be addressed in the ring and he has an announcement. He then enters his dressing room and begins round two of his best two out of three falls match with JT Hogan.
Hogan’s reaction to JT Hogan. Needless to say he got beat for this.
It’s time now for the Main Event Mafia. Rampage gets in another plug for their MMA fight (it’s November 2nd guys!) and says every time he sees Toto he’s gonna stomp a mudhole in his ass. Joe gets the microphone and performs a super effective Cheap Pop. I realised at this point I was only about half way through the show. Damn it’s been dragging if I’m honest. Joe says they’re there to recognise AJ and Sting woos for him and offers him a spot in the Mafia. Even if AJ doesn’t want to join the Mafia they want to thank him for what he did. AJ cames out to his heel music and has his totes mysterious hoodie on again. He does his transformation and I’m with Taz, I hate it and it’s annoying. He should come out to either his heel music or his face music. I actually like his heel music too.
AJ says he needs to do this himself and the mafia walk out. AJ says the crowd has questions and he has answers for them. He formally turns down the Mafia invitation because a suit and tie just isn’t him. He’s developed trust issues over his two best friends screwing him and the guys in the truck filming him at home for the sake of good television. AJ says the only person AJ can trust is Alan Jones. He says he’s with no one, but he just announced his new tag team partner is this guy called Alan Jones. AJ says his perception of the business has changed and that he’s better than the best in the world because he’s the phenomenal AJ Styles. Even though he loves what he does in the ring he understands it’s just a job. AJ Styles, CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, and Undertaker in a fatal four way at Wrestlemania 30 anyone? He cuts a promo about being shafted by management and I’m pretty sure this is related to his contract issues and he says he deserves better. He tells Tenay and Dixie he deserves better. He’s been TNA’s go to guy for 11 years and for what? Just to watch them bring in the next big thing and watch them fail? Maybe it’s the new direction that’s going nowhere. I don’t appreciate the way the crowd is reacting to this. He says he was praying that Dixie would fire him so he didn’t have to quit and instead he chose to stay. He stayed to take care of his family because this is his job and THAT’S WHAT HE DO. AJ says he likes being the go to guy and who steals the show and who sends the fans home happy. The question is can he still be that go to guy, can he still take the weight of the company on his shoulders, and can he go on to win the BFG series? Damn right he can. Damn that was epic. Two AJs giving two pipe bombs in the same week means a good week for wrasslin.
How the crowd seemed to react, fuckers.
AJ Styles vs Bobby Roode
There’s some chain wrestling and a Calf Killer that ends in a rope break to start. AJ does some high spots and Roode stops him with a Spinebuster. Good luck carrying the company on a broken back! Roode hits a suplex and keeps working the back and arms. AJ gets back into it with a Spinebuster of his own and a Springboard Moonsault and pele kick. AJ springboards into a crossface by Roode and gets a rope break but Roode just puts him back in it. AJ counters it into a pin and then hits the Calf Killer submission. Roode goes for a Fisherman Suplex and AJ counters it into a roll up pin for the win. Nice to see AJ win but I don’t get it because he’s only in fifth place. He needed the submission but didn’t go for it. The fuck? They could have at least said he went for the rollup on instinct and didn’t realise what he was doing.
Unless you’re an angry AJ Styles
Backstage with Daniels and an amazing pair of goggles. Daniels says he has to beat Aries and he’s going to do just that.
Jeremy Borasch is backstage and says that there’s no word from Hogan but he’ll be out in the ring after the next match. Thankfully it’ll be to make an announcement and not in a match.
Christopher Daniels vs Austin Aries
Taz says that Daniels looks like several doctors but he forgets the one Daniels actually looks like which is Doctor Steel. They trade blows and Aries poses in the corner before we get some more chain wrestling. I was expecting this to be a good match and I was not disappointed. The match goes outside and Daniels gets his feet up for Aries to run into when going for a Suicide Dive. I’m seen in the crowd holding up a sign that says “Aries Fears Hemme”. Just kidding, I wasn’t in the crowd, but that sign genuinely was. We come back from a break and the action is back in the ring. Daniels gets an Abdominal Stretch in and Aries reverses it into one of his own and there’s a double clothesline. I’m not really doing this match justice. Aries hits a ton of shots in the corner and hits a backdrop to set up the Pendulum Elbow. Tenay’s right, it HAS been a while since I’ve seen that. Daniels gets up and slams Aries into the corner but Aries tosses him outside the ring and hits the Suicide Dive this time. Aries went to the top rope but Daniels uses the ref as a human shield and hits a powerbomb. Aries hits a top rope Missile Dropkick and a running Dropkick and goes for the Brainbuster but Daniels floats over and plants Aries for a two count. Aries hits another dropkick, gets the Brainbuster and the seven points with a victory. Your final four in the BFG series are Magnus, Aries, Roode and Hardy. I want Magnus to win but I can see them saying “he lost the series overall but it’s still impressive he was the points leader.”
This Dr Steel and if Daniels grew a beard he’d look just like him.
Another backstage segment and this time with Bully who says he feels bad for Hogan. For ruining his family and everything. Then he snaps back to reality and doesn’t feel bad because Hogan is where he should always have been, in Bully’s back pocket. Bully tells Toto to keep an eye on Kenny and walks off with Brooke who refers to Bully as “daddy”. That Brooke Tessmacher has daddy issues really explains a lot.
At long last Hulk Hogan comes out and the crowd goes…mild. JT Hogan is seen on top of the Titantron and he jumps off and hits a leg drop on Hulk. Unfortunately it’s so powerful JT Hogan goes through the Earth and I turn on the news to hear reports that the majority of the world is now flooded and every major volcano has erupted. Hulk somehow survived and crawls his way to the ring. Hulk puts over Hardcore Justice and says it’s great to be back and hits a super effective Cheap Pop of his own. Hulk pulls up the BFG series standings and doesn’t actually say the name of anyone on the board. Hogan can’t read? Hulk says he was away taking care of some hardcore business. It’s hardcore wrestling business though, he’s not in talks with Chyna. When he met with the Spike execs they decided that even though the series was ending they’re going to have a 12 man gauntlet match for 20 BFG points. I want AJ to win but I like the top four as it is actually and if Hardy is in fourth place anyone who makes their way into the top four will knock him out. I don’t see that happening.
Bully comes out with Brooke to save us from Hogan. Bully says he missed his dad and it’s not been the same without Hulk around and a lot has changed, including Bully having the title again. Bully says he’s been waiting to introduce Hogan to Tessmacher and Hogan says Brooke couldn’t bum a rush off of him. He only puts the pythons on his daughter and his friends wives. He’s been taking care of personal business and has divorce papers for Bully. He got a divorce without Bully’s signature? Is that even legal? Brooke Hogan is moving on to bigger and better things, such as the WWE developmental centre! Bully says he never cared about Brooke Hogan and did something that no other man has done to her by using her. Bully has got everything he wants and doesn’t have to do anything until Bound For Glory. Hogan asks Bully if he knows who he is. I know Hogan is getting old but is Alzheimers kicking in already? I think it is because he called Bully Jack. Hulk says he’s going to use Bully’s family just like bully used his and in two weeks Bully will defend the title against a member of Aces and Eights. I thought he was bringing Devon back in. Bully says he won’t do it and Hogan says he will and he’ll also defend his title “this week”, I think he meant to say next week, against the man they call Sting. Wait, wait, WAIT, didn’t Sting lose the right to challenge for the title? If I’m wrong about that I’m wrong but I’m pretty sure I’m right.
As we go off the air Tenay clarifies that the title match is NEXT week and gets in one last plug for Fightmaster.
Not a Sheik mark but this is how I react to Hulk.
My thoughts on the show? It was a pretty solid show really. It dragged a little in the middle but it picked back up again and other than some questionable camera angles, daddy issues, and mistakes by Hogan, there really wasn’t too much you could say about this show that was bad.
Here’s how this is going to work; I’m a professional writer, sure, and you can buy my book on Amazon. No, seriously, you can, it’s called Tulips and Other Stories and it costs less than the coffee you’ll drink while reading it. However it’s been a while since I reviewed wrasslin. I’m also going to take some creative liberty, though not too much this time as there wasn’t much of a chance to. I’ll give you the correct results, but I’ll more than likely throw in some jokes and shenanigans. If you want play by play, call a professional.
I was going to insert a link to my book here but felt that would be too cheap. Enjoy a random picture of a tulip instead.
We start off the show as Impact usually does now with a “previously on Impact” segment. They actually made the appletini shots look good but no amount of editing can make that hammer shot look good.
We get Bully on the phone to a mysterious stranger called Brook and he’s with Tito Ortiz. Seeing how Brook Hogan has been released from Hogan’s family dungeon and Brook Orndorf is in legal trouble, it’s not hard to guess which brook it is. Bully and Tito meet up with Mr Anderson and they tease some dissension between Bully and Anderson. Apparently Bully hasn’t been returning Anderson’s calls and texts. To be fair though he has been calling his woman. I hate Anderson but I have to admit I’ve liked him in his role as the VP of Aces and Eights so I think I’ll actually be a little sad to see that relationship end.
Bully’s probably still a bit annoyed from when this happened.
The Bad Influence, plus Bobby Rooooooooooooooooooo(de) come out to start the show properly. Roode begins by congratulating Bully Ray on becoming a two time champion. Does it really count as a second run when he lost the title for such a short amount of time? Roode says that Bully has found a way to screw the system again, and found a new friend. I thought he would say he’s found a new Brook to screw too. Roode says that Bully is the man with a target on his back and he’s looking at the three men who’ll do anything to get the title. One of their trio is going to be the new world heavyweight champion whether we, or maybe Bully Ray, like it or not. He says that he literally set the table and leap frogged his way into second place and hands the mic to Kazarian.
Kaz reminds us of the match he won and refers to himself as a handsome devil. Dude has a point. He looked better with long hair though. Daniels says the Extraordinary Gentlemen’s Organisation is two for two and tonight he’s going to make it three. I guess this team has a name and Daniels has a rear that makes the girls cheer and is the best street fighter in TNA. Ken and Ryu would argue but they’re too busy touring Japan after being released to pay for Hogan’s contract.
If these two hadn’t been released to pay Hogan’s contract we would have had a run in.
Roode says that the Extraordinary Gentleman’s Organisation is 25% of the BFG series and asks why be 25% when you can be a third. I’ll tell you why. It’s because 25% is a quarter. Roode does know this though and says that they need to add one more member to the group. Roode says that one man is none other than you. I got scared because he was looking directly at the camera and I have no in ring experience but he meant Austin Aries. As Roode is trying to recruit Aries he’s interrupted by Gunner and James Storm. Wait, these guys are the tag team champions? I legitimately forgot that. Storm says that that Bad Influence can’t trust Roode and neither can Aries. He says “Sorry…” and the crowd finish off his little catchphrase for him. Can he be any lazier? Roode calls him jealous and Storm counters by saying he’s only jealous of a guy who has a six pack and only has two beers left. I’m jealous of people who don’t have to pause this show every five seconds to keep up with what the crazy drunken redneck is saying.
Storm says he always tells people what he’s going to do and threatens to strip and drink his beer. Then he’s going to punch Roode in the mouth. He goes in the corner and starts stripping as he threatened and Roode tells him he doesn’t want to do it and doesn’t have the guts. Thankfully Storm stops at taking his shirt off and punches Roode in the mouth and finally the talking ends.
Impromptu match up between Who Knows and Those Other Guys.
We’ve got Roode and Kaz against Storm and Gunner. Why would we get that pairing when Kaz’s partner is Daniels? This question was answered later in the show as Daniels was part f the table match. If I’d been paying more attention I’d have realised he also said this in his promo before the match.
There’s a nice double team move by the redneck and his bearded friend before the ad break. When we come back Bobby Roode is beating the tar out of Gunner in the corner. Gunner mounts some offence but it’s quickly stopped. What’s not stopped is the shilling of Jeff Hardy’s app. Kaz gets in the ring when I’m not paying attention and wastes Gunner with a spinning heel kick. I always enjoy seeing that move done by a heel. Roode tags in and starts beating down Gunner himself. Kaz tags in and gets a two count and insults Gunner and slaps him around but Gunner gets in a sick looking back breaker before getting the hot tag. Roode and Storm are in the ring and I’m reminded of when this was a good feud we wanted to see. Storm takes out Roode and drops the elbow from the top rope but Kaz breaks up the count. Gunner breaks Kaz’s back on the outside so the two men in jeans can get back to it. Storm went for the Last Call and almost hits the ref. He turns around and nails Kaz with it instead before Roode goes for the Orton Special. That’s a low blow. Roode wins! The highlight of this match? Storm actually managing to get his leg up for the Last Call when wearing jeans.
Aries is backstage and says that The Extraordinary Gentlemen (damn I love saying that) are giving him mixed messages. This week they asked him to join their little club but last week they cost him 20 points in his match. There’s strength in numbers but there’s also something to be said for trusting the people you’re with. He says he has a lot to think about but he should have his answer by the end of the night.
We’re taken back to last Thursday and I would have fast forwarded but the replay was done by the time I finished writing this. We’re getting a Chris Sabin update though tonight at Hardcore Justice. Wait, Hardcore Justice? Wasn’t that last week? Is this Hardcore Justice 1.50?
Sonjay Dutt vs Manik
Sonjay Dutt comes out for a match in a non-title match with Manik. It’s Kinam backwards! I’m not sure what that has to do with anything though. Sonjay tries to attack him before the match starts but gets tossed back into the ring. Manik does a nice little submission move and Dutt turns it into a pin and delivers a hurricanrana. See, I know how to spell it! Speaking of turning, I’m so glad TNA turned back the triple threat rule and we’re getting one on one x-division matches. Dutt locks in his own submission move after a nice standing moonsault and Kinam reverses it into a pin which Dutt kicks out of. Dutt locks in ANOTHER submission move and I find myself thinking that rest holds are an integral part of the X-Division.
It does allow for a bit of chain wrestling though which ends with Dutt on the floor and Kinam does a very nice looking springboard dropkick and gets a two count. TJ Perkins gets a sit out Powerbomb in for a two count and Sonjay puts #Boots2Faces and gets another two count. Sonjay misses a moonsault and goes for a head scissors but Perkins counters it with his unnamed finisher for the win. I think it’s still unnamed. Taz correctly calls a move too. I’d say more about this match but it’s hard enough to take notes on a regular match when I can’t immediately press pause. Try doing it with a fast paced match and it’s not fun.
This cat probably couldn’t make it in the X-Division. I couldn’t find any Manik gifs, and cats are always related.
Backstage Aces and Eights are in a meeting without their leader Bully Ray. Devon asks Anderson if he’s talked to Bully and Anderson says Bully said they need to focus on business. Devon says that they’re focused and Anderson says after tonight it’s going to go from five on four to five on three. They all testify to that. Testifying is now drinking. If that’s testifying maybe I should start going back to church.
Hernandez vs Joseph Park vs Jay Bradley vs Christopher Daniels in a Street Fight
Hernandez comes out before the break for a street fight and after the break we’re backstage with the main event mafia. Screw that, there’s a match on! Getting back to that match, Daniels comes out after Jay Bradley doesn’t get an entrance. Joseph Park comes out next. Joseph Park, Jay Bradley, Hernandez and Christopher Daniels…guess who’s winning this! Things start out as four ways usually do with the four guys turning it into two separate one on one matches with Bradley going after Park and Hernandez keeping Daniels trapped in the corner. Bradley goes after Hernandez and gets sent outside and Daniels went for the rollup on Hernandez. He gets a one count followed by a two count and eats a backbreaker for his troubles. Speaking of broken backs, it’s a chair shot by Bradley!
Taz struggles to say “weaponry” as Hernandez gets his neck broken by Bradley. Kurt Angle would cut a promo about wrestling with a broken freakin neck but he’s too busy taking care of his broken freakin liver which, unlike a broken neck, prevents him from wrestling. Park inadvertently hits an elbow on Bradley, who is sent out of the ring by Hernandez. Hernandez and Park scuffle before double teaming Daniels and sending him into Hernandez. We go to break with Hernandez and Park standing strong and come back to see Daniels about to unleash a kendo stick (it’s a Singapore cane dammit!) on Hernandez. Hernandez counters, hits Daniels with the stickcane and drops him on the ramp. Inside the ring Bradley and Park fight and I notice Kaz standing outside the ring. Wait what? When did that happen?
Bradley goes for the chair shot to the head which meant that Park was obviously going to counter. He does counter and goes for the Boston Crab but releases it when Kaz distracts him. Park goes out the ring and gets his ass handed to him by Kaz and a suddenly appearing Roode who also take out EY. Bradley and Daniels exchange moves and it ends with Daniels taking a low blow and a chair shot to the back. Two chair shots technically as he’s dropped on the chair. Bradley goes for the Boomstick elbow but Roode and Kaz pull him outside and beat him down and Hernandez jumps over the ring ropes just like he jumped over the border. Hernandez goes for his finisher, affectionately called The Border Toss but Aries interferes. He acts like he’s joining the Extraordinary Gentleman and gives Daniels a Brainbuster to huge “yes!” chants.
Back inside the ring Bradley pulls out the brass knuckles and makes Park bleed. Park takes out Hernandez and picks up the win on Bradley with the Black Hole Slam. I’m reminded how much I now look like Joseph Park thanks to my short hair. Damn. I’m also reminded of my terrible prediction that Daniels would win this match. Post match EY makes his way into the ring slowly and celebrates with Park as Park snaps back to reality. Joseph Park picks up 20 points but I still don’t think he has any chance of winning anything.
If this guy wasn’t too busy casting the TV Title back in the fires of Mount Doom from whence it came, he could probably win something.
Another backstage segment with the Main Event Mafia. We have sound this time though. Sting runs down how badly they were beaten last week and Rampage says when he sees Tito he’s going to break his face. Sting says no one is going to step up and Magnus says it doesn’t matter. They are the elite and they’ll step up and Joe says that he’s right and that they have everything they need to win right here. He’s referring to his fists. Ooooh, scary.
Video package time! It’s covering the relationship of Brook (Hogan) and Bully Ray. I don’t really need to be reminded of this, but it does set up the next segment pretty nicely.
Bully Ray comes out and talks to Taz a little and Tito is now his Toto. I sure hope Toto was a girl or that won’t work. That’s the dog Toto, not the guys who sang Africa. Bully asks the audience how it feels to have the wool pulled over their eyes again, and how it feels to be suckered by him, again. Then he says he has one question for everyone. This after he’s already asked two. He asks us if we know who he is and given the record TNA have for promoting themselves and their talent, my guess is a large majority if this audience doesn’t actually know who he is. Bully agrees with me and says he doesn’t accept Sabin’s championship run. Everything is right in TNA and Bully Ray has a new best friend. He asks if we know who Tito is and actually, I didn’t. I had absolutely no idea who Tito Ortiz was when he came out the first time. Tito cuts a promo and says that he’ll beat Rampage again on November 2nd. They’re fighting on November 2nd? I thought it was in September. That’s just how good a job they’re doing hyping this fight. I actually forgot when it was.
Bully says he’s going to expose the secret him and his woman have been hiding. He calls for Brook and Brook Hogan’s music hits. I get scared but she doesn’t come out. Instead it’s the other Brook. It’s Brook Tessmacher! Speaking of exposing Brook Tessmacher, I feel the need to contribute to the Nipples For Jorge campaign. Last week Jorge put out a call for any of the Bored Wrestling Fan listeners to send him pictures of their nipples. All Jorge has to do is go to Dailymotion, turn off the adult filter, and search for Brook Adams. That’s Brook Tessmachers real name and before she got into wrestling she was a topless model. Thank me later Jorge. Just wash your hand before you shake mine.
Brook and Bully make out and the crowd boos. My guess is because they weren’t making out with Brook. Bully says now he has “the hot” Brook, Tito, and Taz for some reason, he can’t be stopped. There’s only one thing left to do and that’s for Brook to bite his wedding ring off and spit it on the floor. Bully Ray is done and now it’s time for the other knockouts.
I can’t remember how the fans reacted when this happened but it does feature other knockouts.
Gail Kim vs ODB
It’s Gail Kim and ODB, complete with a new brassiere. They tie up a few times and ODB overpowers Gail and knocks her on her ass thanks to the power of…well, her ass. ODB hits a Bronco Buster, a shoulder charge and a fallaway slam. Gail runs off and gets in a flying arm bar and works on the injured arm. Her arm got injured that quickly? Is ODB Sin Cara? Wait, wrong promotion. Tenay manages to say Fightmaster about ten times in five seconds while Gail goes back to beating ODB down. Gail gets hit by a low blow and Taz, even though he was cut off by Tenay, raises a good point. That hurt Gail? I get that would still hurt but it’s not really something you see much in wrasslin. ODB smashes Gail’s face into the turnbuckle and simulates how Jorge got herpes. Gail climbs to the top rope but ODB stops her and hits the Superplex for a two count. Gail gets the three count with a Crucifix pin.
Turns out this wasn’t the first time Gail Kim got a taste of ODB.
Up next, Main Event Mafia against Aces and Eights!
…Right after this Bound For Glory video package.
…and this backstage segment involving Austin Aries. He said everything is cool and that the Extraordinary Gentleman asked him a question and he gave them an answer. Aries says he doesn’t need any help to win except for his God given ability.
…and now Tenay is promoting the triumphant return of Hulk Hogan, next week. Last week he was meeting with Spike officials and this week he’s meeting with lawyers. He sure got to that other meeting fast. Taz says something isn’t right and he’s right. If some other schmuck booked a meeting during a taping they’d probably get chewed out by Hogan.
Still no main event! Instead it’s post match comments by Chris Sabin. I tried to make a note of what he said but I was just way too tired. I did catch him saying that Aces and Eights are a cancer and he’ll be back.
Before we finally get our main event there’s a quick shilling of Five Hour Energy. I’m learning why they’re sponsored by Five Hour Energy now. If you watch TNA as closely as I have, you need some of that. I don’t care if it gives me a heart attack, one way or another I’d make it through the show.
Thankfully there was no fine for screaming
Aces And Eights vs Main Event Mafia in a Loser Leaves TNA match
Aces and Eights come out and they’re followed by the Main Event Mafia. Guess we’re finally starting this match. Right after the commercial break! Being tired doesn’t have much to do with TNA being a bad show, as it’s actually been pretty good, but damn they really insist on dragging this out.
Mr Anderson has a microphone and calls out Bully Ray and I pretty much shout obscenities at my computer until someone finally starts fighting. Bully does come out and sits on the ramp and Brook sits on his knee. Anderson says because there’s only four Mafia guys and five Aces and Eights that one of the Mafia should just lay down and allow themselves to be pinned. Stings says that no member of the family is going to lay down and they’re going to go out fighting. “Well then start bloody fighting!” I shout at my screen as more music hits. It’s AJ styles. He’s going to be the fifth guy for Main Event Mafia? He took his shirt off and his face music hit, so I guess he’s a face again too.
The match FINALLY STARTS! There’s an all out brawl to start including AJ taking it to Anderson outside the ring. AJ and Anderson take their match into the ring and AJ lays out Anderson with a dropkick before Magnus lays out Faceless Lackey Number One. Taz informs me it’s Wes Brisco and I genuinely forgot his name. Joe is tagged in and punches Brisco’s face off. He then kicks off any of Brisco’s remaining face with a pele kick. Brisco finally tags out and brings in Faceless Lackey Number Two. They say it’s Garret Bischoff but it isn’t. If you look closely it’s very obvious that it’s Brodus Clay. He just wears a fat suit when he wrestles for WWE. Break time! We come back to Aces and Eights controlling the match and Magnus in the process. Faceless Lackey Number Three, also known as Knux, is the legal man. Magnus knocks some of the Aces and Eights off the apron but they just hop back up and his beatdown continues thanks to Devon. Brodus Clay is tagged in and Magnus starts his comeback but is dropped by the “triple tough” Funkasaurus. Brisco comes in but doesn’t stay in long as Anderson comes in instead. Magnus catches Anderson but he rakes the eyes to get out and tags Devon in. Devon hits a leg drop and mocks JT Hogan. JT Hogan would interfere but he was too busy meeting Hulk Hogan’s lawyers in a gimmick infringement case.
Knux is back in the ring and the plucky Brit gets a nice reminder of why you have to be American to make it in the North American wrestling business. Magnus hits a DDT and manages to tag in Sting. He hits two Stinger Splashes and then everyone runs into the ring and we have ourselves a brawl. Rampage is left in the ring and he lays out all of Aces and Eights with clotheslines except for Brisco who gets planted. Knux knocks Rampage out the ring and gets dropped by Sting but Devon breaks up the Scorpion Death Lock and lays Knux on top of the prone Sting for a two count. Devon comes in and beats down Sting in the corner and misses wildly with a diving headbutt. Tenay says Sting moved just out the way but I think he could have stayed where he was and still dodged it.
AJ is tagged in and he knocks Aces and Eights off the apron and gets a two count on Devon. Anderson gets in some cheap shots and we have ANOTHER brawl. AJ hits a pele kick and eats a spear and then hits a Styles Clash on Devon for the win. Aces and Eights lose and it seems Devon is out of a job. I don’t think he really is though. Didn’t he recently sign a new contract? Well he signed one just before he joined Aces and Eights anyway. This stuff has lasted so long I have no clue when that was.
Post match Bully comes down to the ring with a hammer but doesn’t actually enter the ring as the Main Event Mafia mock Devon and the rest of the Aces and Eights. Tenay gets in one last Fightmaster plug and the show goes off the air.
Christopher Daniels with a dramatic recreation of the end of the main event.
My thoughts? Despite some mild complaints this was a pretty good show. I was tired from a lack of sleeping and walking two miles home from a job interview and the show didn’t actually feel like it dragged much except for the end when there were about four or five segments between the announcement the main event was up next, and when it actually happened. Overall it was a pretty good show I have to say. I also took way too many notes as this was about three and a half thousand words. I thought this was too much and then I put the last RAW review through a word counter and it came out at about the same actually. Guess I didn’t take too many notes after all.
Hulk Hogan puts over the Open Fight Night/Open Call Out and the Bound for Glory series tournament before moving on to A Double for his answer. (which has something to do with Plan C-check twitter for his response) Option A would have him hand over the title and challenge Roode at Destination X but if he lost he would have nothing. Option B he would decline and walk away still X Division champion and not be in the main event. And it appears Option C is where starting this year the current X Division champion will be allowed to turn in the belt for the chance at the World Title holder. Hogan is pleased. (So does that mean that if the X division champion loses he keeps the belt and if he wins we have an X division tournament for the title after the PPV? Um-okay.
Roode of course comes out and throws a tantrum saying that the X Division title is a paper championship and that he is the real world champion Austin Aries calls him out and the two battle it out. Security/Referees come out to break it up. Anderson comes down out and announces that basically when they’re done with each other Anderson will be waiting. (more…)
I would like to thank AAPW for graciously sending me a copy of this DVD. They first showed the crowd, which was a good thing. They looked enthusiastic and happy to be there. The commentary had a good enthusiasm without extending into Mike Tenay shrill mode.
First match: Greg Anthony vs. Heath Hatton
I was really hoping for this guy, but alas, it was not. Anthony had a look and feel of one of the Texas Hangmen from WCW days. Anthony started off with a rather shrill promo. Not that it was bad, but there wasn’t a lot to differentiate him from every other wrestler out there. He would also be better-served to use his lower register for promos. He got the crowd nicely involved though. Hatton was pretty enthusiastic and made time for the fans. It seemed like it took forever for the first match to start. Hatton looks like a pretty impressive athlete. He had some nice vertical to his dropkick. Anthony wrestled a very good heel style. Hatton pulled a small package for the win.
Winner: Hatton
This was a nice opener. The crowd was engaged, and it started the night off on a high note. We had a brief interview with Stacey O’Brien. It sounded like an interview with your local sports team player, which is exactly what it should be.
Second match: Pokerface vs. Matt Cross
Pokerface has an impressive look. And is there a better heel move than coming out to Lady Gaga? And whether I like him or not, Matt Cross has got to be one of the best in-ring workers I’ve ever seen. They told a nice story of Pokerface being frustrated by Cross having an answer for every move. Pokerface eventually pulled a victory out.
Winner: Pokerface
Matt Cross is just a once-in-a-lifetime athlete and is just a sight to behold. Pokerface is very solid, though I haven’t seen “it” from him. It will be interesting to see where he goes.
Pac and Generico were interviewed backstage.
Third match: “Playboy” Paul Rose vs. Billy Hills vs. Jay Spade vs. Justice vs. Bull Bronson
I hated Rose’s look which I think is the point. It fits a heel style really well. Billy seems to be the hillbilly element. Being the Texan that I am, I love hillbilly elements. Spade is a little guy. Bull Bronson looks like a building with hair. He is announced from Tarrant County, but the announcer mispronounced it. The announcer pronounced it like “tar.” It should be pronounced like “tear” as in “tear a piece of paper.” I know that sounds little, but I live in and am from Tarrant County, Texas. It’s the little things. Justice was kind of the middle-sized guy in the match. This was a 5-man Free for All so I really have no idea what happened. Bronson is a nice monster. If you went into the biker bar, he’d be the leader of the rival gang. Spade had nice aerial moves. If this were a Ring of Honor crowd, he would have gotten a “Please don’t die” chant. Justice was sent packing pretty early. If you didn’t know he would come back out again, you have never seen wrestling before. Spade sure can bump. Bronson ended up winning.
Winner: Bronson
Of course I am the only person going for Bronson since he is from my home county.
Fourth match: Bull Bronson & Roscoe D. Harris vs. Money Makin’ Jam Boys
The announcers were asking why Bronson was coming out again. As far as I’m concerned, Bronson can be anywhere he wants to be. Harris’ gimmick is that he looks like he needs a bath. The MMJB are KC Jackson & Mississippi Madman. I’m pretty sure that the Madman has his own zip code. Mr. Zip Code makes Kevin Nash look like Usain Bolt. KC Jackson is a polar opposite so the two have a nice contrast. The more the match went on, Madman reminded me of George “The Animal” Steele sans body hair. I really found myself enjoying this match.
Winner: MMJB
I really like these two as a tag team. Colt Cabana cut a very nice promo about who he is and what he does.
Fifth match: PAC vs. El Generico
Matter of full disclosure: PAC is perhaps one of my favorite wrestlers, perhaps top 3. I liked that the crowd had Ole chants for El Generico. There was a “That was awesome” chant about 3 minutes into the match. Insane. I can very easily call this the best match I’ve ever seen Generico have. These two are very familiar with each other. They just seemed to kind of release and do what Terry Funk described as “the dance.” I don’t use this word very often, but I dare call this a “great” match. They also earned a “This is wrestling” chant.
Winner: PAC
The fans gave a “Thank you both” chant. And I completely agree. At the beginning of Disc 2, Ax Allwardt cut a quick promo that sounded like he was lip-syncing Hulk Hogan promos. There is a “hit-by-a-car” storyline? If somebody hit me with a car, I would call the police, not wrestle them in a ring.
Sixth match: Stacey O’Brien vs. Rebecca Raze
If Sheamus ever wanted an Irish Catholic female buddy, it would be O’Brien (not because of her skin tone, just the Irish thing going). They were going to present O’Brien with a Female Wrestler of the Year award but Raze attacked her. I was very impressed with Raze’s ring style and power. I was impressed by O’Brien’s style and power too. This match turned out to be really good. O’Brien took the win with a bridge.
Winner: O’Brien
Stacey is a nice face of their women’s divison. And what guy wouldn’t love the green pleated skirt? Also, Raze is a very good heel to complement her. This was a good match I would let my daughter watch. Easily the sleeper match of the night.
Mike Masters cut a promo. I think he thought he was leading basic training.
Seventh match: Colt Cabana vs. 3G Eric Wayne
Matter of full disclosure. I’m an avid listener of the Art of Wrestling (which you can find on iTunes). He looked genuinely happy and enthusiastic to be there. I’ve never seen him “mail it in.” He did the AAA torreador spot with Wayne. Funny stuff. Nobody does comedy better than Colt. Plus I thought Wayne did a nice job of playing straight man to Colt’s comedy. It was difficult to see Wayne’s star amid Colt being Colt. But I did like his aerial style. Wayne pulled out a win with the Spicolli Driver.
Winner: Wayne
Very entertaining match, well-booked. LiveWire cut a very nice promo. He’s a good “man of the people” type guy.
Eighth match: Mike Masters vs. Kevin Hunsperger
There was a nice video package leading up to this match. It looked like they were telling a nice story. Masters had a very nice crowd reaction (of hatred). Hunsperger was allegedly making his pro wrestling debut. So he gets a mulligan. There was a story to be told and he told it very well. It wasn’t PAC-Generico, but it was still very entertaining. Masters is such a good heel, I hated him.
Winner: Hunsperger
I put this in the category of Vince-Shane Wrestlemania 17 as not the strongest technical match but really freaking entertaining. Good feel-good moments and Masters was such a vicious heel, it made the victory so sweet.
Main event: Livewire (c) vs. Ax Allwardt
The commentary was really good and made this match seem important. Livewire moves and acts like the champ. This was a brutal brawl with a lot of emotion. While this was no PAC-Generico, this was a very good brawl. There were some ref bumps, but it made sense in the context of the match. The crowd was very behind this. Livewire ended up hitting the superkick for the win.
Winner: Livewire
All in all… I thought this was a very good DVD. Was it worth the $15? Did I mention PAC vs. Generico? You also get Matt Cross & Colt Cabana. There was enough to get me to tune in, but if it takes those 4 to tune in, it’s going to take those 4 to keep on tuning in. However I found some intriguing wrestlers. I liked Livewire, Mike Masters (as a heel), KC Jackson, Mississippi Madman, Rebecca Raze and especially Stacey O’Brien (possible swoon). All a company needs is a few fascinating characters and a few intriguing storylines.
The biggest strength by far is the crowd. They were genuinely happy to be there and were ready for a wrestling show. The wrestlers also had a lot of enthusiasm and looked like they were happy to be there. The commentary was also really good and helped to put over their talent really well.
Well here I am after a wonderful week of work. But even with all that I’ve found time for Impact Wrestling. We start the show with a replay of how Roode has held onto his title for months. And culminating in his beat down of Steve Borden. Roode opens the show.
He gloats how Sting on twitter has apparently quit wrestling. Roode praises himself for doing something that Harley Race, Vader, and Ric Flair failed to do. This time we don’t have an interruption from someone in the back.
Later we cut to Crimson and Morgan arguing over AAO, and Morgan being speared by Crimson. From what the convo details we could see a Crimson heel turn. Both agree to get on the ball and win tonight.
Tag Team Title rematch: Samoa Joe/Magnus vs Matt Morgan/Crimson
We get another good match where Magnus takes the brunt of the attacks. Then tags in Joe to clean house when needed. Toward the end of the match Morgan is hot tagged and goes through both Joe and Magnus setting up for the pin. Joe makes the save. Later on as Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint on Joe, Crimson from the other end clotheslines Morgan when Joe ducks. A Joe Magnus setup elbow drop, helps them retain. After the match Crimson fumes at Morgan.
Brandon Jacobs makes his return (same day if you were at the tapings) as he walks down the ramp Mike Tenay makes an announcement of last week being shown on espn and other such networks? I’m confused. How? Anyway, Brandon Jacobs calls out Bully Ray or as he calls him “Buwwy Ray” Bully Ray comes down and stops midway at the ramp. The two banter back and forth, Ray makes light of Jacobs accomplishments while he pumps up his own. Finally Jacobs has had enough and chases Bully Ray to the back. Backstage Jacobs is approached by Hardy and Storm who tell him something in his ear.
X Division match: Zema Ion vs Alex Shelley
We have good back and forth from these two. Zema holds his own against Shelley. During the match Austin Aries comes to the ring with popcorn and wine to evaluate the match. Shelley is making a comeback and attempting sliced bread #2 when Ion pushes him into the ref with that distraction he sprays Shelley in the face with hairspray, leading to a jawbuster and then a running knee pin. Austin Aries looks on in disgust.
We have a replay of the Bischoff story. The segment seems strangely cut off when Hogan confronts Garett to give him some advice. Oh and Madison makes an appearance to explain her winning the knockout over the top challenge, and how she is just giving Gail a better opponent. Because you know Sarita wasn’t available.
ODB w/ EY vs Gail: We have the new Cody Deaner appear with his love ODB, to a very good reaction from the Impact crowd. Gail follows with her typical self. We get a good match with of course the occasional interference from Eric. Soon Madison comes down which distracts Gail. This of course leads to an ODB comeback which is ended when Gail reverses out of the BaBam and turns it into Eat Defeat. Afterwards Madison runs into the ring to raise Kim’s hand. Gail is furious shouting at Madison leaving her in the ring.
We have a replay and interview with Jesse Sorenson and his mom detailing his accident. Mike Tenay assures us he’s at home now. AJ does a pretape about how he’s done with Daniels and Kazarian. His mind is on the TNA world title.
This sets up AJ Styles vs Robbie E. For the television title.
A decent match with the obligatory interference from Rob Terry. Soon Daniels with Kaz comes to the ring. Kaz who looks extremly P”Oed walks pasts a bewildered Daniels and proceeds attack AJ from the apron. Causing a DQ. Before walking out glaring at Daniels.
Main Event: No Disqualification Tag Match Storm/Hardy w/ Brandon Jacobs vs Angle/Bully Ray
A good match where Jacobs gets his hands on Ray. The inclusion of Angle from last weeks attack seem to help start a feud. Since Hardy didn’t really gets his hands on Angle. A table is introduced by Ray and Angle but is turned against them when Jacobs gets into the ring and chokeslams Ray through allowing Storm to get the pin.
Sting comes out to announce his retirement. But Roode can’t help but to interrupt. This seemingly sets off Sting who starts poring on black makeup getting into his joker character. Roode goes for another low blow but is blocked but Sting kicks back dropping Roode. Sting promises to put on the boots to kick Roode’s butt. He can’t decide on a closing remark, but leaves with Ta Ta for now.
Normally AlyKat would be doing her VERY excellent coverage of Monday Night Raw. But due to circumstances beyond her control, you have an opportunity to hear a much different perspective of the night from me. Just think of this as “A Ruff Look at Raw.”
Tonight I will try the live blogging again. I can’t remember the last time I anticipated a Raw this much. There aren’t any gimmicks behind this one; there is just a Raw I want to see really badly tonight. Let’s be honest. Last week was phoned in. This is going to be the true test. Do we get Punk unleashed? Might we even get Cena or Vince unleashed? (Hey, you can’t blame a guy for dreaming.) Are we on the brink of a glory period of wrestling? Rather than a “Golden Age of Wrestling,” we have an “Adamantium Age of Wrestling?”(Better than Gold or Platinum)
We have some questions to answer. Will we see Zack Ryder again? Will Alberto del Rio tell us it’s his destiny to be champion or something? How is Riley doing after Miz’ beatdown? What of the Nexus? And what about this potentially explosively legendary epic moment between Mr. McMahon, John Cena & CM Punk?
The WWE has announced Punk leads off the night with a live mic. This is either going to be “The Promo” or the infamous Matt Hardy promo where he killed his career in 5 minutes. The skinny young Bill Cowher walked to the ring with a megaphone. (Ring of Honor chant #1) Punk cut a great promo about how he has made the WWE relevant. And then John Cena comes out to a surprising pop. The two have a confrontation. This is still all about the match, not Tony Schiavone shooting on Mike Tenay.
John Cena vs. David Otunga & Michael McGillicuddy
God, are you mad at me? Maybe this is a reminder that the WWE has not gone a total 180 and is still a work-in-progress. I’d love to go on the details of this match. But it’s just the last 5 John Cena handicap squash matches. Again. I hate handicap matches. Unless it’s The Giant vs. Pez Whatley & The Gambler. No single person should ever pin the tag team champions cleanly. Can’t we give him Hacksaw Jim Duggan or something? As much as I hate to say this, it was not a bad match. I just hated the premise. It could have been worse. I could have been watching a Keith Stone commercial.
One of the biggest signs that something big was happening during Raw-Twitter crashed. (And something called a Home Run Derby) Dolph and Vickie are talking about the US Title. Drew McIntyre and Vickie both mock “The Boss.” And the Boss showed up. He books them in a handicap match against Big Show. So Vince is a face? And then Scott Stanford asks Vince what the rest of the world thinks or something. Vince tells “the rest of the world” they can go to Hell. So Vince is a heel now? He turns faster than the Acolytes/APA.
We come back from commercial and Melina is back in the ring. We didn’t get to watch her entrance?
Kelly Kelly vs Melina
The Bellas did commentary. I think that is the worst plague to be unleashed on Earth since Glenn Close on the 4th season of The Shield. Kelly finished Melina quicker than Goldberg finished Rick Fuller. And then the Bellas mocked Kelly for being too skinny. So Kharma was too fat? And now Kelly is too skinny? Make up your mind, Bellas. I don’t like the Bellas being in the anti-bullying ad. Are they characters or not? Too many blurry lines.
When we come back from break, Miz climbs on top of the latter and cuts a great promo. And of course he gets interrupted by Jack Swagger. And then Evan Bourne interferes. And then Kofi comes out and we see pyro (I squee). Then we get R-Truth. He is an Acrophobe (me too) and an Arachnophobe. And then Alex Riley runs out. And then we get Alberto del Rio. Then the Anonymous Raw GM makes a match.
We got to see Big Show and Bruce Campbell together in the same segment. Pure awesomeness. Too bad it was for Burn Notice.
The 6-man was hard to keep track of. It got to help further the PPV. This is what they call a go-home show. And they definitely went home. Alex Riley got the pin, so it looks like they are committed to strapping a rocket to Alex Riley. I sure hope he’s ready for it. And Alberto del Rio got to stand in the middle of the ring like he was going to win. That means he will not win.
Big Show vs. Drew McIntyre & Dolph Ziggler
My iPod froze during this match so I spent my focus on resetting it. This is exactly what a handicap match should be. Neither wrestler lost anything. Mark Henry came out and took Big Show through a table. It was a pretty good visual. I love this deadly Mark Henry.
Vince and Punk did their showdown. While Vince sat at the table, Punk paced around the ring with a microphone. Vince called CM Punk by his first name. No wonder Phil goes by “CM Punk.” Punk went over the provisions of his contract. 1. He gets to push Vince. 2. He wants to be WWE Ice Cream Bars. 3. He wants to be in Chaperone II. 4. He wants the Wrestlemania Main Event. 5. He wants Vince to apologize for suspending him. After much prodding (that included Colt Cabana & Luke Gallows), we had this:
“I apologize, you son of a bitch.”
-Vincent Kennedy McMahon
Then Cena came out to the ring. Before his music hit, we had “Colt Cabana” chants. (WTF? Was that real?) Cena regressed into 5th grader Johnny. But there were some moments where Cena would turn into sober, serious John. Punk called Cena the New York Yankees. (Oh, no he didn’t.)
I’m trying to think of what I liked and didn’t like about this Raw. I really liked the WWE’s focus. They needed to push a pay-per-view, and that is exactly what they did. The matches were sub-par. The promos were really good. I am feeling sold on the pay-per-view and I don’t know how this is supposed to end. I’m very intrigued.
No disrespect to the fans with the title. I’m a fan myself but this show with all this innuendo of changes lacked any. The ring and outside arena still had TNA posted everywhere with a hue of blue and added rows of seats which another reviewer on TNAsylum pointed out. Was that the change? I doubt it. But here’s to Thursday on finding out. Well lets get into what TNA Impact Wrestling is all about. Impact Wrestling presents Sacrifice.
Mexican America vs Ink Inc.
I wasn’t expecting much from this match. I mean Anarquia has shown a total disregard to impress and Hernandez just doesn’t seem to care anymore. But then you have Jesse Neal and his infectious energy makes me smile. Oh and Shannon Moore and his book make me shake my head. But then seeing as how Moore had one of the best spots of the evening. Sailing off the ring onto Hernandez with a moonsault. The match was sub par besides with predictable interference by Rosita and Sarita. And a botched over the top rope clothesline by Moore on Anarquia. Shockingly due to a miscommunication involving Moore attempting to hit Rosita and Neal objecting. Hernandez was able to hit his modified border toss on Neal giving the win to Mex America. Why was I shocked? Ink Inc is the number one contender for the tag titles leading into Slammiversary. I’m adamant that Christina Von Eerie should be there as well but that is probably wishful thinking. So naturally, Ink Inc getting the win would make them look strong going in. But we still have 3 weeks to make amends.
Hopefully with it now being iMPACT Wrestling we can stop having Promos in our PPV’s. We get one here as Jeff and Karen come out to announce that they can not compete in the mixed tag match. Foley comes out again the announcement “wrestling matters” is uttered. He tells the Jarretts that the next time they bring X rays make sure it doesn’t belong to a 6’6 African American male. Karen shrieks throws off boot in a temper tantrum leading to Mick exiting. Match on. The crowd is amp to have Chyna.
Brian Kendrick…shoots a promo on the X Division. I wish I knew what he was saying since he is all mystical and what not. All I caught was the word molested. I don’t now in what context. But it was said. To sum up he just promises to show how important the X division is.
Brian Kendrick vs Robbie E w/ Cookie.
Robbie comes out as Cookie walks out messing with he phone/camera? Anyway the crowd seems to be nonchalant. Mr. Gym Tan Wrestling, fist pumps for Cookie while she takes a picture. Again the crowd could care less. Kendrick steps out in his white robe to a good crowd pop. Kendrick 1, Robbie 0. Once in he puts on his gimmick meditating dead center in the ring. Cookie, trying to win a screeching contest against Karen shouts that “you’re a freak!” As Robbie holds her back. Exit Cookie. And we have Kendrick alive and booting E in the face. Kendrick 2, Robbie 0. Then the junior banshee interferes. Distracted Robbie takes control beating Kendrick ragged even getting him outside of the ring. Where Cook’s proceeds to choke him with her boot. Robbie setting up for his signature neck-breaker (god forbid I have no idea what’s its called. And I refuse to call it “Rude Awakening” in fear that Rick would haunt me) Reversed. Kendrick beats Rob with a dropkick into a pin. Huh?! I knew he sucked but really. Kendrick acts all crazy holding Earl Hebner’s hand. He even weirds out Rob when he tries to shake his hand. Your winner: Kendrick.
Promo time again folks. But this time its hot cougarish Tara. Trust me I’ve seen this woman without make-up Vickie has nothing on her. Tara’s unhappy with Madison. The bossiness and in general being a lackey. Then Madison appears to remind Tara about how she has a job because of her. Folks I won’t lie when she came on all that kept going through my mind was “Why is she here?” “She should of stayed in a shimmer tag team” and my favorite thought “God, please severe her vocal cords. please I’ll go to church,eventually”. Time for the match.
Mickie James (c) vs Madison Rayne (With Tara’s freedom on the line)
Here comes the Queen Bee (seriously she has a sash with the title) and the gaudiest oversized crown I’ve ever seen. That better be from the dollar general. In full royal mode, the crowd is dead. Canned heat where are you? In the words of another TNA watcher, The Rayne Experiment has failed. No one and I do mean no one cared when she came out. Then Mickie came out. The roof exploded. She could do no wrong. I seriously believe that she could of killed a puppy and folks would still cheer for her. Lets get ready to… Tara’s theme music hits. The crowd breaks into further excitement. Again the Rayne Experiment elicits no response. A faceoff between Rayne and Tara distracts long enough for Mickie to get on the offensive. Tara seems conflicted. Should she hit Mickie. Only a minute in and I’m already sensing an overbook coming on.
To break it down simply this match is a TNA haters dream. Overbooking. check. horrible in ring competitor. check. A last minute reintroduction of the loaded glove. check. Tara makes the save for Mickie after 2!! Ref bumps. Tara finally makes the decision to cold cock Rayne with the loaded glove letting Mickie get the 3count. Crap match over.
Sorry about that but I was a big fan of the Knock out division. In 2009. This was a bad match indeed. But it will get better in the future, right? No. Chances are we will see Velvet Sky vs Mickie for the title. At least she’s over?!
Fortune promo. Line remembered. Kaz- Max Buck you wouldn’t be a star even if thrown by a ninja. Or something to that effect. Other smack talk by Beer Money and AJ. Next.
Max Buck vs Kazarian(c)
Good mat wrestling. (I swore when this was going on someone yelled “boring”) Buck plays the egotistical heel to perfection. Slapping and name calling. Some really cool spots with a over the ropes leg drop. Buck reversed 3 fade to blacks by Kaz. Kaz follows up with a powerbomb to the outside. Buck comes in with a top rope cutter and a 450 degree splash for a two count. Kaz goes old school (shout out to Allison Danger) and beats Buck with a shining wizard. Good. Now if only it was hyped.
Promo. A 6’6 360lb homeless man talks about pain and breaking a undefeated streak. Then I realize that its Abyss. Next up its TNA’s John Cena taking on Crimson.
With Crimson’s imaginary 5 month winning streak on the line (I now I’m being harsh but times have changed from Samoa Joe) he takes on Abyss strong only slowing down when he spears a turnbuckle. After that the Cena of TNA controls the majority of the match. Crimson resumes control with one double clothesline and a seven count. Abyss reverses with a chokeslam. then comes Janice. Crimson spears Abyss, Abyss loses Janice. Crimson goes to the well once too often and is big booted. Abyss pulls out a Vader Bomb from the corner. 2 count. Crimson hits Cena with the Red Sky Powerbomb (D’lo Brown’s Sky High) keeping his streak intact. After some posturing Abyss goes back to lick his wounds. Now please can we have Joe vs Crimson now?
Promo. Its like deja vu. No. Its a vignette. Beer Money vs Hardy/Harris
I’ll keep it short. Harris plays a heel and won’t fight Storm one on one. He’ll only sneak attack. So no big showdown between the two. Which would of made sense. Remember 2006 when the team of AMW split? Storm was the one who attacked Harris. Almost taking out an eye. Leading to that hilarious blindfold match. Well now its Harris’ turn to play heel as he and Matt lose after Beer Money hits Harris with the AMW finisher Death Sentence. Mind Games no avail. Next.
Oh its Bully Ray being interviewed by Jeremy Borash. And he is being a bully threatening to beat on Borash and making lewd comments about AJ’s wife. I hope she isn’t watching. So we will see Ray vs Styles? Nope.
Dreamer vs Styles
Lets keep it real short. Ray interferes in this No DQ bout this sets Styles up for a piledriver on a table. Dreamer wins. Next.
Another vignette. Not complaining as long as its not a promo.
The Jarret’s vs Angle/Chyna
Kurt is an undiscovered comedian. His smirk during the entire match was classic. It brought back memories of the axe wielding incident at the wedding. Chyna is over big time. Fans are chanting for her to kick Karen’s butt. After a good back and forth between Jarret and Angle, Chyna is finally tagged in. The fans erupt. false alarm. Jarret stays in the ring and continues the fight with Kurt. Angle goes for his exploding triple Germans then an Angle slam. 2count. Chyna comes in and body slams then vertical suplexe’s Jarret. Eventually chasing Karen back into the ring Chyna splashes Karen in the corner. Karen dazed is hit with the double under hook DDT. (pedigree for wwe fans). Chyna locks in the ankle lock followed by Kurt on Jarret. Karen taps. Angle/Chyna victorious.
Main Event Vignette.-Then Anderson comes out to blog and commentate.
RVD vs Sting
The match is decent. Rob shows off. Sting pulls out some moves. They fight in the crowd. RVD pulls an impressive cross body onto Sting from the second stands. Sting blocks Rolling Thunder. A Stinger Splash is countered by a spin kick. One botched deathdrop then a rinse and repeat Deathdrop closes the match with the win for Sting. Afterwards Anderson has a stare down with Sting. Slammiversary IX promo
And that is the end of Sacrifice. Wasn’t great but I didn’t pay for it so decent. Here’s hoping for the iMPACT arena changes come Thursday.
This is it! The show before the go-home show for the “Victory Road” pay-per-view. Will what we see tonight persuade us to spend our hard-earned money and/or three hours of our time on TNA’s offering on July 11th? Find the nearest line and cross it, and you tell me! (more…)
