BWF Round Table – TNA’s “Turning Point” 2009By Drowgoddess · · Leave a Comment
Let’s see if the BWF site can show the Empress of “iMPACT” a bit more love than it did on Thursday night, and actually allow me to post the entirety of this.
If you’ve been sitting up at night, unable to sleep, and repeatedly asking yourself, “Drowgoddess, what do the staff members of BWF think is going to happen at ‘Turning Point?’ I need to know!” then wonder no more. And then seek serious therapy. Without further ado, BWF proudly presents its Round Table on “Turning Point” 2009!
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles (ch) vs. Daniels
ThinkSoJoE: Joe will win when Style’s assailant reveals himself and distracts the Champion.
JT: Styles wins. The only reasone he’ll lost the title is if his opponent is a steroid abuser, a stalker or a guy with facepaint with identity issues.
Drowgoddess: Samoa Joe wins due to some form of distraction and the AJ/Daniels feud begins again.
The Green Teabagger: Joe wins. Hulk Hogan runs to the ring to see if AJ is okay. Joe challenges Hogan to a title match on the spot. AJ tells Hogan to accept. Hogan jumps in and wins the TNA Title in 14 seconds. Oh, wait. That’s Wrestlemania 9….which means there’s a 60% chance it happens. Meh, I’ll be more optimistic. AJ Styles retains the title pinning Samoa Joe in the end.
Legend Killer: AJ Styles
Kurt Angle vs. Desmond Wolfe
ThinkSoJoE: Wolfe has something to prove. I can see him winning this.
JT: Seriously, you think Wolfe has a chance in this one. Angle wins.
Drowgoddess: Desmond Wolfe absolutely HAS to win here. Otherwise, all of his actions thus far have been for nothing.
The Green Teabagger: Duh. Kurt Angle wins, and probably somewhat squashlike in six minutes. Kurt Angle will consider this putting Wolfe over.
Legend Killer: Desmond Wolfe
TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Motor City Machine Guns vs. British Invasion (ch) vs. Beer Money
ThinkSoJoE: All three of these teams have been underutilized in the last couple of weeks. I’m going with a British Invasion win here.
JT: MCMG wins this one for the sheer fact that they’ve been ignored in this entire feud.
Drowgoddess: Yes, Beer Money is awesome, and are probably going to win. That being said, I will, of course, be pulling for an MCMG victory here. As much as I like Beer Money, I really am angry about their inclusion in this match. Why? Why do they have to be in it right now? They could have gotten a shot at the winners of the match on the next ppv. The Guns finally, FINALLY get a tag team title shot on a pay-per-view, and in a proper tag match, no less. At the last possible second, the other popular face tag team on the roster gets added in. The Guns earned their title shot, and then got completely left out of the picture while the British Invasion and Beer Money sniped at each other. My only hope is that Beer Money and the British Invasion will be so focused on each other that the Guns can steal a win and finally wear the gold that they deserved two years ago.
The Green Teabagger: Beer Money was put into this match for two reasons. One, they’re the best freaking tag team in all of TNA. Two, TNA did next to nothing to push the MCMG-British Invasion feud/rivalry/match so Beer Money had to be added. Doesn’t matter though. Beer Money gets their belts back and the world can rejoice (Sorry, Drow)
Legend Killer: Beer Money
Bobby Lashley vs. Scott Steiner
ThinkSoJoE: I’m going to give the same prediction I give every month. TNA is not ready to have Lashley job to anybody.
JT: Lashley, need I say more.
Drowgoddess: Lashley wins. He has to stay undefeated, after all. This match will be awful.
The Green Teabagger: Is Bobby Lashely wrestling? Yes. Is his opponent named Hogan, Angle, or Sting? No. Lashley wins
Legend Killer: “The Boss” Bruce Springsteen
X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Homicide vs. Amazing Red
ThinkSoJoE: Red’s going to take this one, as rumors swirl that Homicide asked for his release after Dixie Carter’s speech.
JT: Amazing Red sucks, but Homicide is in a stable with Eric Young who sucks even more. However I’ll go with Homicide here.
Drowgoddess: As much as I would love to see Homicide win, I don’t see it happening. TNA seems to be ridiculously high on Lackluster Red (Thanks, Boss!), and he doesn’t seem to be losing the title any time soon.
The Green Teabagger: If Homicide loses, its a crime. Amazing Red shouldn’t be X-Division champion by any means. Homicide wins.
Legend Killer: The Amazing Red
6 SIDES OF STEEL CAGE MATCH
Awesome Kong vs. Tara
JT: A women’s match in a steel cage, really? Wow. I’ll go with Kong here.
Drowgoddess: Kong wins. She really needs to be the unstoppable monster here, and a hard-fought near-victory by Tara would not make Tara look bad at all.
The Green Teabagger: Tara survives against Kong and this match will be worth the cost.
Legend Killer: Awesome Kong
KNOCKOUTS TAG MATCH: ALL TITLES ON THE LINE
The Beautiful People vs. Sarita, Taylor Wilde, & ODB
ThinkSoJoE: It depends. Who gets what belt if TBP win? If Lacey or Madison Rayne are getting the Knockout’s Championship with a win, the champions will retain. If it’s Sky, there’s a possibility that TBP will take home all of the gold.
JT: Who gets what if the Beautiful Beople win? The champs retain.
Drowgoddess: The three champions retain. This match makes no sense, and has no reason for happening. I have a bad feeling that the whole point of it is for The Beautiful People to win all the gold, bicker amongst themselves, and fall apart as a faction. If Lacy Von Erich leaves this match with any form of title belt, I will shout “Turnip!” in a very loud voice. Then stab a hobo in the face.
The Green Teabagger: I don’t understand how this works. Both ODB’s Knockouts Title and Sarita/Wilde’s Knockout Tag Team Titles are on the line in this match. Who gets what belt in The Beautiful People if they win? They’ve done nothing to explain this so I’d expect and predict ODB and Taylor/Sarita to retain. Then, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if The Beautiful People won, put the tag belts on Velvet/Rayne and put the Knockout Title on Lacey Von Erich despite the fact that LVE is so untalented and skanky that she makes Kelly Kelly look like Trish fu*king Stratus. Yeah, I said it.
Legend Killer: Sarita, Taylor Wilde, and ODB
SIX-MAN TAG TEAM MATCH
Team 3D & Rhino vs. Matt Morgan, Hernandez, and D’Angelo Dinero
ThinkSoJoE: The young guys will probably take this one.
JT: Oh, decisions, decisions. My facebook profile pic says go with 3D, but I want to go with Morgan, Hernandez and Burke. I’ll go with the faces here whomever they may be.
Drowgoddess: I really want to see Morgan, Hernandez, and Dinero win here. If you aren’t completely digging Dinero, then you have no soul. A victory for the “young guys” here lets the veterans complain about how they got screwed and so on, and works better in the long-term.
The Green Teabagger: Team 3-D turn on Rhino and its an epic 5-on-1 beatdown. Something about this situation is just weird.
Legend Killer: Team 3D and Rhino
Who is right? Who cares? Join yours truly for real-time coverage of “Turning Point” on Sunday and find out!
And for those who did not see this on the end of my incomplete “iMPACT” review, I felt compelled to share the glorious bounty.
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