Getting Down With The ClassicsBy ThatDamnDoubleC · · Leave a Comment
Welcome once again to Getting Down With The Classics, it is I, your once regular turned freelance writer for BWF, here with another classic from wrestling past. On this episode, we go back to 1999, the 31st of January to be exact, for a special edition of Sunday Night Heat. You see, this episode of HeAT took place during the NFL Superbowl, and during half time of the Superbowl, there would be a match for the WWF Championship between the newly crowned champion The Rock, and the former champion, Mankind. Stay tuned for this very special.. Halftime HeAT!
A recap of the I Quit match from the Royal Rumble between the Rock and Mankind is played, showing that the Rock never actually won the match, due to it being a recording of Mankind saying ‘I Quit’ as opposed to the actual Mankind saying it. Which is what lead to the match on Halftime HeAT.
Kevin Kelly introduces us to Todd Pettengill. At least it would be Todd Pettengill if he didn’t leave. Instead we get his replacement, Michael Cole. Cole is at the arena, the empty arena, which will host the WWF Championship match.
Interesting moment comes next, as Shane O leads the Corporation to the ring, the titantron is playing what would become the entrance video, for one Chris Jericho. The induction of Chyna to the Corporation after she left DX is why they’re here. Shane introduces Chyna as the newest and hottest member of the Corporation.. Test is in the ring.. I’d say she’s a hotter female than Chyna. Who gave Chyna a mic? Why could I drive my car down Chyna’s cleavage? Chyna wants gratification? Does that explain the sex tape? Chyna joined the Corporation due to money, and told DX to suck it.. ooo sound so tough Chyna.. cue Chris Warren.
Helmsley, the Outlaws and the European Champion come to ringside. Helmsley says that it will never happen again. What, that a member of DX joins the Corporation? Wait.. oh, this is before WrestleMania. The crowd chants Chyna sucks.. so they have seen the sex tape? HHH said Chyna wanted to be treated as an equal, but she couldn’t be because the rest of DX had balls, and Chyna didn’t have any. She has a penis, does that not count? Then Hunter calls her a two-dollar whore. The true Chyna revealed right there. Now they gave X-Pac the mic, and he just screams down it as always. He goes on about how Shane gave him the Bronco Buster on Raw, and how he’s gonna shove Shane’s silver spoon up his a.. before Road Dogg cuts him off and says that this is HeAT, and that he can’t say that word on HeAT. Shane says he can take X-Pac.. well Chyna can, so I’m sure anyone can. Shane makes a match for Raw tomorrow night between Helmsley and Kane inside a Steel Cage. Mankind arrives at the empty arena, in what looks like my car.. only my car has four seats and looks bigger.
Remember kids, St. Valentine’s Day Massacre is just two weeks away!
KK is joined by his colour commentator, Shane McMahon, for our opening match.
MATCH#1: WWF Tag Team Champion Jeff Jarrett w/Debra vs. Big Bossman
This match is happening due to the Blue Blazer helping Owen and Jarrett win the Tag Titles off of the Bossman and Shamrock on Raw.
Jarrett gets the counter after the Irish Whip, but after a few punches can’t get the Bossman down, Double J receives a Spinebuster for his troubles. But as the Bossman goes for the pin, up comes Debra to the apron to play distraction. It allows Jarrett to get back onto his feet, and run right into a Sidewalk Slam, and the Big Bossman gets the three. Then Jarrett receives a nightstick to the face for good measure. The Corporate limo, with the Corporate Champion and Vinnie Mac arrive to the empty arena.
MATCH#2: Intercontinental Champion and World’s Dangerous Man Ken Shamrock vs.WWF Tag Team Champion Owen Hart
As Shamrock walks down the aisle, we see another one of Val Venis’ sex tapes entitled ‘Sister Act’, in which Val does the dirty with Ryan Shamrock, Ken’s sister. Venis introduces this video as the making for another video ‘Saving Ryan’s Privates’, and then Ryan and Val are about to shower together, but of course, this is HeAT, and that can’t be shown here.
Shamrock sets up Owen for the Belly To Belly suplex, but here comes the Blue Blazer.. the Black Blue Blazer, and he looks to fly. But Shamrock notices this, and whips Owen into the ropes, which knocks off the Blazer, and Kenny connects the Belly To Belly suplex and gets the three.
Tomorrow night on Raw, Vince goes Rattle Snake hunting, and Trips faces Kane in a cage.
The end of the match between The Rock and Triple H for the WWF Championship on Raw last week is shown, in which Trips looks to have the title won, only for Chyna to low blow the future game, and join the Corporation.
As you can tell, it’s filler before Halftime HeAT, as they’re just showing highlights from the past week’s Raw. Now it’s time for Vinnie Mac, and how he eliminated Stone Cold Steve Austin in the Royal Rumble the night earlier.
The WWF Superbowl commercial is shown leading into Halftime HeAT!
Halftime HeAT MAIN EVENT : WWF Championship
The Rock (c) w/Vince McMahon vs. Mankind
Vince relieves Shane and Kevin Kelly of their duties, as Vince takes over on commentary. This match starts in the ring, but ends up everywhere. The Rock messes up the seating arrangements in the arena. Then as Mankind is beaten down, the Rock joins Vince on commentary, that is until Mankind applies the Mandible Claw. But his advantage doesn’t last long, as the Rock sends Mankind up the stairs of the crowd and backstage. The Rock is supplying running commentary so to speak, as he sends Mankind into some cotton candy and a metal fridge. The Rock then shows us his murderous side, and throws Mr. Socko into the oven. He then tries to send Mankind into the same oven, but of course, Foley is fat and will not fit. Rocky then proceeds to trash the kitchen and tells Mankind off for making a mess, as he sings to a bottle of Jack Daniels, he takes a sip, which allows Mankind to gain control of the matchup. Vince says that wasn’t real liquor, as real liquor has never touched the Rock’s lips. So Jack Daniels isn’t real liquor? Does that mean I can drink as much as I want of it, and I won’t be drink driving because it’s not real liquor? Mankind then uses a bag of popcorn as a weapon, as we head out the exit into another area, where people are sitting down. Wait, this was an empty arena match, and
Sean Mooney Todd Pettengill Michael Cole told us that the only people in the arena would be Vince, Rock, Mankind, and referee Earl Hebner. What are all these people doing here, sitting down and eating. Maybe their here to buy t-shirts from Earl Hebner? If that’s the case, wouldn’t Dave have the car outside with the boot load?
Rock tastes the popcorn, and it’s too salty for his liking so the proceed to have a mini food fight. The Rock asks Mankind ‘How about some bread you fat bleep’, and then throws salsa in Foley’s eye. Rock grabs a chip, and dips it onto the salsa which landed on Foley’s face and complains that it’s only mild. Mankind then tries to piledrive the Champ, but gets back body dropped over the table. Rock then uses more items found laying around to hit Mankind, including food that the Rock don’t even know what it is. Vince called it a ‘nasty looking squash’. Foley throws a cloth of some sort, and that causes a distraction just enough for him to low blow the Corporate Champion., and get a near fall. Rock then regains control after hitting Mankind with some sort of hard glass bowl, which didn’t shatter. We then head out another exit, and into the office area, where there are more people.. this arena really is ’empty’ isn’t it? Rock offers Foley a seat and the phone rings. Rock answers it as ‘Smackdown hotel’, and that Mankind is unavailable due to him being unavailable due to his mouth being full with the Rock’s foot in his mouth. Rock hangs up, sends Mankind to the sofa, then answers the phone again. This time Mankind is unavailable due to him being tied up, as the Rock chokes his challenger with the phone cord.
Rock then begins to flurt with some girl in the office before calling her a fat piece of trash, which allows Mankind to attack. Mankind sends Rock down the corridor, as Vince asks for Shane O and Kevin Kelly’s thoughts on the match. The Rock and Mankind end up in the loading dock, as Vince takes over commentary once again. Mankind sends some rights the Rock’s way, and then both men try the right and knock the other down. Mankind puts on Mr. Socko and applies it on the the Rock. It makes the Rock pass out conveniently next to a forklift, and as Mankind asks politely if the forklift driver can get out, he then takes control of the fork, which is loaded with a crate full of beer kegs, and drops it on the Rock, pinning him down to the ground. Mankind then uses the opportunity to stand on top of the crate, and get the three count to become the WWF Champion once again. Shane throws his pen in disgust, and Mankind rubs the title in the Rock’s face, as Halftime HeAT comes to a close.
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