ECW in REAL TIME! 4/22/09
By thinksojoe · · Leave a CommentI had fun doing a real-time last week, so why not do it again? I have no idea what’s booked for tonight, so I guess we’ll all find out together!
ECW in REAL-TIME after the jump!
This review is being written in real time, so don’t forget to refresh every so often for the latest updates!
Don’t question ECW’s heart. You think they picked this song since it’s got nowhere near the heart of the original ECW?
We’re at the O2 Arena in London, England, and tonight we’ll have a contract signing between Jack Swagger and Christian. But first…
Finlay and Hornswoggle make their way to the ring. Tonight will effectively be Hornswoggle’s last night on ECW as he was drafted to RAW in the supplemental draft last Wednesday. That’s exactly what Finlay says, actually. He hands the microphone to Hornswoggle, who says he wants to wrestle! This leads to a Hornswoggle chant. Finlay says they’ll ask Tiffany if Hornswoggle can get a match tonight, but first, Hornswoggle wants to say goodbye to everybody. They’re interrupted by Tyson Kidd and Natalya. Kidd calls Horny a midget, and says good riddance. With Hornswoggle gone it leaves more time for a guy like Kidd. Finlay calls them Teletubbies, then tells Kidd that Hornswoggle’s a leprechaun, Kidd’s a midget. Natalya says that Uncle Bret lied, and that Kidd is really the best there ever will be. She says that she could beat Hornswoggle. Hornswoggle bites her on the ass, leading to Natalya challenging him to a match.
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Hornswoggle def. Natalya
Natalya taunts Hornswoggle to start off the match, then starts to shove him, but he bites her on the ass again. He spears her but only gets a one count. Actually, he gets a series of them. Tyson Kidd gets up on the apron but Finlay takes him down with a chop block. In the confusion, Natalya finds herself rolled up for three! Hornswoggle wins in a short match!
After the match, Finlay and Hornswoggle run around the ring witha few kids, one of which is wearing big headphones and kind of reminds me of a young Rick Steiner.
Later tonight, the Backlash contract signing.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Natalya complains to Tiffany about what Hornswoggle did, and she wants him fired. Tiffany tells her to calm down and show her some respect. She may be new, but nobody can barge into her office and walk all over her. She makes a match for WWE Superstars, pitting Finlay and Hornswoggle against Tyson and Natalya. Tyson protests, but Tiffany stands her ground.
RAW REBOUND: Randy Orton beat Triple H last night in a No Disqualification match.
Evan Bourne hits the ring, and he’s in action, next!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Bourne’s opponent tonight is the UK’s own Paul Burchill who is accompanied by sister Katie Lea.
Evan Bourne def. Paul Burchill
You wanna know how much WWE cares about this match? So much so that the first thing that’s said by Matt Striker after the bell rings is “If anybody on Triple H’s team at Backlash gets disqualified, Triple H will lose the WWE Championship to Randy Orton.” Burchill dominates through the early going. Actually, I think this is probably the most offense he’s gotten in a match since he was a pirate on SmackDown a few years back. Bourne causes some separation, and it seems to be all he needs to get right back into this one. Bourne hits a couple of unique offensive maneuvers, but gets caught in a modified Uranage (read: Rock Bottom – style move), which barely slows him down. Bourne goes to the top but Burchill springs back to life and goes for an electric chair drop, but is brought down by Bourne, who goes to the top again and hits the Shooting Star Press for the win! Another awesome match from Bourne!
We’re then treated to a Vladimir Kozlov vignette. He’s in action, NEXT!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
If your opponent is Vladimir Kozlov, you live in the town that the show is eminating from, and you’re already in the ring when they come back from a commercial, you know you’re going to get destroyed. Especially when you’re in England and Kozlov says that Russian athletes are superior and will achieve global domination.
Vladimir Kozlov def Frankie Sloane
Picture a match between Vladimir Kozlov and some guy named Frankie Sloane. In the time it took you to read that sentence, it was over. Kozlov does not work by the hour.
ECW Champion Jack Swagger is ready to sign a contract. That’s NEXT!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Tiffany is in the ring, and she’s presiding over the ECW Championship match contract signing. She introduces Christian first, and Captain Charisma makes his way to the ring. She introduces Jack Swagger next, and he comes to the ring with his ECW Championship over his shoulder. Tiffany offers the superstars a chance to make some final comments and sign the contract. Christian signs first. Swagger asks Christian if he’s got no cheap one liners about his clothes or the way he talks. Christian just stares intently. Swagger signs the contract and we’re official for Backlash. Swagger says that while Christian was gone, a new class of WWE Superstars emerged, and at the top of that class is The All American American. Christian survived a grueling Elimination Chase to get his shot at Backlash, and Swagger imagines that he felt pretty good, but Swagger can tell those feelings are gone. He says that Christian’s brain is telling him that he can’t beat Swagger, and that’s why he has nothing to say. Christian still sits, staring intently. As Swagger gets up, Christian finally speaks. He’d like nothing better than to have fun at Swagger’s expense, like wearing the same suit he wore to high school graduation, his stupid haircut, his speech impediment, but at the end of the day, what’s it going to do for him? Christian says that Swagger can be the one running his mouth, while Christian will focus on Backlash, and making Swagger the biggest, strongest, fastest ex ECW Champion in history. Swagger holds the belt up in Christian’s face, then tosses it at him. Swagger uses the distraction to take Christian down with a clothesline, then he drops Christian with a gutwrench powerbomb through the table. Swagger smiles at the camera, and holds his championship up for all to see.
My thoughts: Thank you, ECW, for making the Championship the focal point of your show. This is the one feud right now that really feels like it’s for a championship. Hell, for a while I kept forgetting that Triple H was the WWE Champion.
Evan Bourne stole the show again this week. Hell, Bourne stole the week last week, along with John Morrison. Will this match with Paul Burchill hold up as well for the rest of the week?
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