We’re ready for the last professional wrestling television broadcast of 2008 – ECW on SciFi for December 30th! The only thing I know that’s going on tonight is a match between ECW Champion Matt Hardy, and the former champion Mark Henry. Will Matt Hardy make it to his tag team match this Friday on SmackDown? We’ll find out, tonight!
Full results, after the jump!
THE DIRT SHEET! We’ve got a live Dirt Sheet on ECW tonight – RIGHT NOW!
The Two Time Slammy Award Winning World Tag Team Champions The Miz and John Morrison are in the ring and ready to bring WWE.com’s highest rated show to the SciFi Channel! Miz says that they wanted to end 2008 with a bang, something never done in Sports-Entertainment. They want everybody to look at the person to their left – then at the person on their right, because Miz and Morrison bought everybody in the building… NEW CARS! No, not really. They have something better than car. They bring joy, they bring hope, they bring “The Dirt Sheet!” 2008’s been a great year for Miz and Morrison. WWE Tag Championships, World Tag Championships, and two Slammys make them the greatest tag team of the 21st Century. Not only that, but the new WWE Magazine calls The Dirt Sheet the best talk show of 2008. They’re not just going to coast through 2009 though, they have goals, and they’re going to share with us their new years resolutions.
Miz resolves to give a hat to the Smithsonian and say “BaBa Booey” as many times as he can.
Morrison resolves to star in a Kung Fu movie and to get abs 11 and 12 to pop out.
Both of them resolve to win the Royal Rumble and go on to main event WrestleMania.
They start to argue, but they get back on track and tell us that they’re not the only ones who have goals.
Evan Bourne resolves to move out of his mother’s basement.
John Cena resolves to take some acting lessons, so his next movie isn’t as terrible as The Marine.
Batista resolves to start wearing a helmet to the ring, so he doesn’t get a concussion all the time.
Triple H resolves to buy a family sized nasal douche.
Finlay will stop wearing tighty-whities, so his next son isn’t a deformed leprechaun. Morrison explains that it’s really a temperature issue. Leprechauns don’t live that long anyway, it’s like dog years.
Finlay and Hornswoggle have had enough and crash the set of The Dirt Sheet as Morrison yells “Sit! Sit! Down boy! Good ‘Swoggle.” Finlay hands the microphone to Hornswoggle, who just screams. Finlay explains that what Hornswoggle said was – then he punches Morrison in the face. Miz and Morrison team up to take out Finlay, and Hornswoggle tries to escape under the ring. Miz and Morrison go out to try and find him, but they find The Boogeyman instead. Morrison and Miz hightail it up the ramp.
Up next, Matt Hardy takes on Mark Henry.
Mark Henry makes his way to the ring when we come back. He’s followed out by the ECW Champion, Matt Hardy, and we’ve got a match on our hands!
Matt Hardy def. Mark Henry by Disqualification
We’ve seen this match many times before. Think about those matches, but picture Mark Henry dominating early. That’s what we have here, with Henry picking up a two count just before the…
Henry is still on the offensive when we get back. Matt’s doing a great sell job too – if I didn’t know otherwise, I’d be convinced that Henry’s really beating the crap out of him. Matt finally gets a break when Henry misses a seated splash. He takes control of the matchup and drops Henry with a Side Effect for two. He knocks Tony Atlas off of the apron and goes for a Twist of Fate on Henry, but Henry reverses it – shoving Matt right into a Jack Swagger boot. Swagger drops Hardy with the Gutwrench Powerbomb, earning Matt the win by DQ.
After the match, an angry Mark Henry drops Matt Hardy with the World’s Strongest Slam.
Later on tonight, Finlay and The Boogeyman vs. The Miz and John Morrison in a no DQ match.
Kizarny is debuting this Friday on SmackDown.
The Ripper, Paul Burchill, and his sister Katie Lea are here on ECW for some reason. Apparently Paul has been moved over to the Brand of Extreme. His opponent tonight is DJ Gabriel. He and Alicia Fox dance their way to the ring, and I hope to hell they don’t job Burchill to this jackass.
DJ Gabriel def. Paul Burchill
This is why Matt Striker and Todd Grisham won a Slammy – their commentary is better than the match. Striker said that DJ Gabriel got a copy of Dance Dance Revolution from Alicia Fox. Grisham asks him if he got a lump of coal in his stocking. Striker responds that he unfortunately got Michael Cole in stockings. Burchill does dominate in the early going, but Gabriel will not stay down. Gabriel finally starts to mount an offense, but it doesn’t last long. Burchill goes for a power move, but it’s reversed into one by Gabriel. He goes to climb to the second rope, but Burchill springs to life and pulls him down. Burchill gets Gabriel into a DDT position, but Gabriel reverses it, flipping over Burchill for a three count.
Mr. Kennedy has a movie coming out next Tuesday. Guess who won’t be watching it.
Boogeyman is backstage singing “Rock a Bye Baby” to a worm. He eats the worm, and Hornswoggle runs around him acting all crazy. Boogeyman starts to sing the theme from The Smurfs – I’m can’t make this stuff up, folks!
RAW Rebound: HBK lays down for JBL, allowing the Red State Warrior a shot at John Cena at the Royal Rumble.
Finlay and Hornswoggle make their way to the ring. The Boogeyman is out next. They’re followed out by the World Tag Team Champions, and we’ve got ourselves a no-disqualification tag team main event.
The Miz & John Morrison def. The Boogeyman & Finlay
Boogeyman & Finlay take the early offensive, with a little help from Hornswoggle. It’s a pretty bizarre offense from the unique tandem, but The Miz and Morrison battle back, taking over on Finlay after a chop block by Morrison. The World Tag Team Champions stay on the offensive for what seems like an eternity, but when The Boogeyman comes in to break up a pin attempt, Finlay gets the moment he needed to regain control. The Miz gets in the ring, and gets tossed back out by Finlay, who was distracted long enough to get rolled up by Morrison, earning the champs the victory.
After the match, Boogeyman and Finlay attack the Miz and Morrison, but the World Tag Champs escape with a victory, relatively unscathed. Finlay gets a bunch of kids out of the crowd and let them run around the ring with Hornswoggle as ECW goes off the air for the last time in 2008.
My Thoughts: Boogeyman and Finlay are a very unique tag team – but nevermind that. This show was pretty good for what it was. I still don’t like the DJ Gabriel character, and I hate the fact that they jobbed out Paul Burchill to him. I’m not worried about that though, beause since Katie Lea is here with The Ripper, it looks like we’re going to have a feud between the two brewing in early 2009. There’s a lot of time between now and The Royal Rumble, so expect to see a bit of a Mark Henry/Jack Swagger feud over who faces Matt Hardy at the PPV for the championship, likely resulting in a triple threat match. Then expect that triple threat match to have a bunch of run-ins, because apparently WWE just figured out that there’s no way to end one of those in a DQ. Seriously, look at Survivor Series and Armageddon. Jeff Hardy interfered at Survivor Series, allowing Edge to win the title. Vladimir Kozlov and Matt Hardy interfered at Armageddon. Both times, JR made sure to point out that there’s no DQs in a triple threat match. Well, whatever. This is probably my last post here of 2008, so I wish everybody a safe and happy new year!
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