The Dirt Sheet, with your hosts The Miz and John Morrison and featuring Mark Henry, Chavo Guerrero, Finlay, and Matt Hardy is scheduled for tonight’s show.  Will it go better than the last time they tried to do it live?  We’ll find out!

Detailed results, after the jump!

Tonight’s show is in memory of Walter “Killer” Kowalski.  Even though it was taped before he died.  Yes folks, tonight’s episode of ECW on Sci-Fi really happened last Tuesday.

We kick things off with The Miz and John Morrison in the live on location (in the middle of the ring) set of the Dirt Sheet.  The Miz says he’s going to win the ECW Championship in his hometown this Sunday at Unforgiven.  Unfortunately, Morrison didn’t qualify.  Morrison says it’s unfortunate for all of his fans, but as a former ECW Champion, the fact that he didn’t qualify is totally bogus.  The other participants in the match, the first guest on the Dirt Sheet, The World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry.  It really is Henry and Atlas this time, not a Conan O’brien style sketch.  Miz faux dances to Henry’s theme song.  The former tag team champions welcome their guests to the Dirt Sheet.  Atlas says that he doesn’t want a repeat of the last time.  Miz and Morrison learned their lesson, and they’re not even going to make fun of Henry’s belt extender.  Their next guest is Chavo Guerrero – who comes out with Bam Neely and theme music hummed by Miz and Morrison.  Chavo asks if it’s a joke.  Miz and Morrison say they don’t know what happened and they had nothing to do with it.  Chavo’s a former ECW Champion, and he’s excited about the Scramble match, where he gets a chance to take back his championship.  Miz tells him that he lost it like 6 months ago, and he sounds like a baby.  Speaking of babies, Finlay couldn’t make it because he couldn’t find a babysitter for Hornswoggle.  We get a live satellite feed from “Finlay’s Brothers.”  Which is Miz and Morrison dressed up like Finlay, saying that Finlay got his arse kicked by a girl and wet the bed until he was 8, much to the amusement of Chavo Guerrero and Mark Henry.  Much to the dismay of Miz and Morrison, however, Finlay and Hornswoggle are making their way out to the ring.  Finlay says “hello, brothers,” and tells Hornswoggle to say hello to his uncles.  He does so by kicking Miz in the shin.  Morrison announced Jeff Hardy, and Miz reminds him that it’s Matt.  Finlay introduces Hardy as the man who beat Morrison last week to qualify for the scramble.  Hardy says it’s a shame that Morrison didn’t qualify because Matt beat him.  It’s odd that Bam and Tony Atlas are out here to lend respect to their respective male partners.  It’s cool that they’re so close, it [i]is[/i] 2008.  The only reason Miz hangs out with Morrison is because it actually makes Miz look like a tough guy.  He says that Chavo is a great speaker compared to Bam, then turns his attention to Mark Henry, who tells him to stop right there before he clears the ring.  He’s still going to be Champion after Unforgiven.  Matt says that Tony Atlas better get a good night’s sleep, because he’s got a long night of breaking up pinfalls to save Henry’s title, again.  Miz steps in and tells them that they’re not going to ruin the Dirt Sheet by fighting this time.  Then Morrison clubs Hardy across the back with the microphone.  All hell breaks loose, and for some reason, Tommy Dreamer and Evan Bourne get involved in the brawl.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Backstage, all those guys are batttling each other.  Teddy Long comes by, and Miz tells him that those guys ruined his show.  T-Lo tells him that the show was ruined the second he opened his mouth.  Later on tonight it’s going to be Miz, Morrison, Chavo, and Mark Henry taking on Dreamer, Bourne, Finlay, and Matt Hardy.

HE’S SUPER, HE’S CRAZY, HE’S SUPER CRAZY!

Super Crazy def. Gavin Spears

Hooray for my hometown boy being on TV!  He even gets an interview.  You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression – Spears disagrees.  He says he’s barely begun to scratch the surface in ECW, and he’s the crown jewel of the new talent initiative.  Super Crazy takes the early offense but Spears holds his own.  Spears’ defense is his best offense for a while, but he winds up taking over and pounding away at Super Crazy.  Crazy winds up battling back, picking up the victory with a moonsault.

Break out the Ricky O. Rally Towels, Rick and Rollers; Ricky Ortiz is in action!

Ricky Ortiz def. Ryan Braddock

Ryan Braddock kinda looks like how Josey Scott from Saliva used to look.  He starts out on offense, but that doesn’t last too long, Ortiz starts to battle back.  Ricky O. takes over with a tackle, followed by a suplex.  Braddock fights back though, hitting an interesting looking top rope facebuster before taking control of the match.  With Tod Grisham calling this show, and these two guys in the ring, I feel like I’m watching Sunday Night Heat.  That’s not a knock on Grish, it’s not a knock on  Ortiz, and it’s not even a knock on Braddock, I think it’s more that I was used to listening to Grisham call Heat with lesser known talent.  Ortiz finally starts to build some offense, hitting a unique looking sidewalk slam.  He hits the Big O, and picks up the victory.

RAW Rebound.  Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho contract signing recap.  Are you surprised?  If you’re wondering about HBK’s condition, WWE.com is reporting that he only suffered a small tear in his triceps muscle, and he’s cleared for Unforgiven.

Up next, Bourne, Dreamer, Hardy and Finlay take on Miz, Morrison, Henry and Guerrero.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Josh Matthews, Mickie James, and Mr. Kennedy are at the Republican National Convention.  If you’re not already registered to vote, hit up smackdownyourvote.com.  Matt Striker says “vote republican.”  Matt Striker just lost a fan.

Tod Grisham and his Republican sidekick Matt Striker run down the Unforgiven card.  Well, some of it anyway.

Matt Hardy, Tommy Dreamer, Evan Bourne & Finlay def. Mark Henry, The Miz, John Morrison & Chavo Guerrero

Hardy and Morrison kick things off, though Hardy quickly gets the advantage and tags in Tommy Dreamer.  Dreamer nearly as quickly tags Finlay, but Morrison gets Finlay into his corner and tags Chavo Guerrero into the match.  Finlay beats up Chavo on the outside, and Hornswoggle stops Bam Neely from interfering as we head into a commercial break.  When we come back, Finlay is beating up Chavo Guerrero, and then tags in Evan Bourne.  Bourne and Guerrero go back and forth.  Guerrero gets the tag to the Miz.  Bourne maintains offense momentarily, but Miz shows why he’s one half of the longest running former Tag Team Champions in recent memory, cutting the ring in half and utilizing frequent tags.  Bourne tries to leap over John Morrison to make a tag at one point, but Morrison caught him and rammed him into the corner.  After Morrison tags in Chavo Guerrero, Bourne manages to fight hard enough to get a tag in to Tommy Dreamer, who comes in and takes over on the Latino Warrior.  Chavo takes Dreamer down and gets a tag in to Mark Henry, who comes in and uses his strength to give his team the advantage before tagging Guerrero back in.  Dreamer gets a tag in to Matt Hardy, who goes off on Guerrero, taking him down with a middle rope elbow for two, followed by a Side Effect for another two.  Chavo tags in Mark Henry, who misses a big splash.  Hardy tags Bourne, who hits a Shooting Star Press, then tags Dreamer, who hits a top rope splash, before tagging Finlay, who hits a splash of his own before tagging Matt Hardy, who puts Henry down for good with a Twist of Fate for the victory.

My Thoughts:

I’d really like to see The Miz win the title at Unforgiven.  That said, it won’t happen.  I’m not going to make an official prediction at this time, I’ll save that for Sunday.

Ricky Ortiz is a mixed bag.  I’m a fan – I couldn’t tell you why, but there’s something about him that I like.  Fellow Western New Yorker, and WorldWrestlingInsanity ECW reviewer Mike Rickard on the other hand says that he’s not a fan.  I told him that he can start the “Ricky Ortiz Sucks bandwagon,” but that I’d be standing there waving my Ricky O. Rally towel.  He agreed that I’m probably not the only one.

I still love seeing Gavin Spears on TV after seeing him just a few years ago in a Polish banquet hall in Niagara Falls, Ontario while sitting next to his parents.   I don’t really expect big things for him, such as a video game appearance a la his fellow NSPW alumn “Showtime” Eric Young, who main evented the show that I first saw Spears wrestle on, but it’s cool to see him on TV nonetheless.

It was kind of weird to watch this show knowing that it happened a week beforehand, and before RAW and SmackDown that aired before it.  All in all though, it was a great show.  Another stellar week in the land of Extreme!

Post by thinksojoe

The founder of BoredWrestlingFan.com and it’s parent company, Fropac Entertainment, ThinkSoJoE has been a wrestling fan since he first saw WWF television in 1986 at the age of four. His first wrestling memory was Hulk Hogan on Saturday Night’s Main Event talking about getting King Kong Bundy in a cage at WrestleMania 2. Sixteen years later, he met Hulk Hogan on the eve of WrestleMania X-8. On December 9, 2013, he legitimately won a Slammy Award (Best Crowd of the Year). ThinkSoJoE currently hosts the weekly BWF Radio podcast.


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