ECW on SciFi – 3/17/09
By thinksojoe · · 3 CommentsTonight on ECW, Evan Bourne returns to action after missing several months with an ankle injury – and since it’s St. Patrick’s Day, I’d venture to guess that Finlay and Hornswoggle will be featured in some way.
Full results after the jump!
Later on tonight, we’ll be treated to a live edition of The Dirt Sheet – but for the moment…
Captain Charisma is in the house! Christian makes his way to the ring and he’s set for tag team action featuring his Money In The Bank opponents. His partner in this one is Montel Vontavious Porter, M.V.P.! Ain’t no stopping their first opponent now, The United States Champion, The Gold Standard Shelton Benjamin heads to the ring, followed soon after by his tag team partner for this evening, The World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry.
Shelton Benjamin & Mark Henry def. Christian & MVP.
Ah, typical pre-WrestleMania programming. Over the next three weeks, we’ll see plenty of tag team matches featuring the four men in this match, along with CM Punk, Kane, Finlay, and Kofi Kingston. Hell, this Friday, MVP and Shelton Benjamin will do battle over Benjamin’s United states Championship. Speaking of Benjamin, he picked up the win in this one after dropping The Instant Classic with Pay Dirt.
John Cena’s got a new movie. 12 Rounds of Jagermeister. Well, it’s just 12 Rounds. I need the Jaeger to get through it.
Backstage, Finlay is searching for Hornswoggle. He asks DJ Gabriel, who takes a second out of his dancing time to tell him that he hasn’t seen ‘Swoggle.
WWE REWIND: Evan Bourne is highlighted. He returns to the ring, NEXT!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
WRESTLEMANIA MOMENT: WrestleMania XX: Brock Lesnar and Goldberg were stunned out of the WWE, John Cena made his ‘Mania debut and won the U.S. Championship, and Eddie Guerrero retained the WWE Championship. Hmm.. I wonder what happened with the World Heavyweight Championship that night…
Jamie Noble is in the ring and awaiting his opponent. That opponent – the high flying Evan Bourne!
Evan Bourne def. Jamie Noble
This is why I turned down two people who volunteered to write this review. Evan Bourne is a special Superstar. He’s high flying, he’s innovative, and he’s the reason WWE lifted the ban on the Shooting Star Press. Tyson Kidd and Natalya watch this one backstage on a monitor. Bourne looks great – he certainly doesn’t look like a guy who has been sitting on the sidelines for five months with an ankle injury. He picks up the win with a picture perfect Shooting Star Press!
Backstage, Finlay is still searching for Hornswoggle. He finds him backstage dousing Katie Lea with water.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Ladies and Gentlemen, the ECW Champion, The All American American, Jack Swagger! Wait – where the hell has he been? Anyways, he’s got a microphone. He knows we missed him last week, and he’s not competing tonight, but as a service to all of us, and because he’s so good looking, he wanted to give us the pleasure of seeing the two time, two time All American American, Jack Swagger, our ECW Champion. He raises the belt over his head, his music hits, and he leaves.
Teddy Long is dressed in St. Patrick’s day outfit, and Tiffany pitches a WWE Diva’s Night on ECW. Long is about to tell her that it’s a good idea (he’s lying), but Paul Burchill bursts in and complains about Hornswoggle. Long tells him that Finlay loves to fight, so if he’s got a problem he can just head on down to the ring.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Last Night on RAW: Edge and The Big Show accuse one another of using Vickie to advance their respective careers. Then they both beat up John Cena before Edge spears the Big Show out of his boots.
All three of them will be on SmackDown’s 500th (+1) episode this Friday night. But for now, Paul Burchill is in the ring. Finlay and Hornswoggle make their way out, and we’re set for action.
Finlay def. Paul Burchill.
No way! The Irish guy is in a match on St. Patrick’s Day? Guess who won. Yeah, this match was over before I even got around to typing the intro. Finlay picks up the victory with the Celtic Cross.
Up next, it’s a live edition of The Dirt Sheet!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
The Miz and Morrison are with The Bella Twins here for the Dirt Sheet. Miz calls them their girlfriends. Brie doesn’t look too happy – especially when she was called “Twin A.” Nikki, on the other hand, says that they picked Miz and Morrison over Primo and Carlito because they like winners. We see a clip of Miz and Morrison defeating Primo and Carlito this past week on SmackDown. They put on the butt masks and do a little rap, before they’re interrupted by the real Primo and Carlito, who bring the set to Carlito’s Cabana with them. Carlito tells Miz and Morrison they look better with the masks on. They argue over who’s show this is, before Primo and Carlito offer a special challenge. At WrestleMania, Miz and Morrison can put the World Tag Team Championships on the line, and Primo and Carlito will put their WWE Tag Team Championships on the line, winner take all. Miz tells them they’re doing them a favor. At ‘Mania, they’ll prove why they’re the greatest tag team of the 21st Century. The Colons go to spit apples at Miz and Morrison, but hit Brie Bella instead. Nikki gets a good laugh out of it, and gets attacked by Brie for it. They’re separated, and Nikki leaves with Miz and Morrison and Brie stays behind with Primo and Carlito.
My Thoughts: As The Dirt Sheet started, I was completely expecting that I’d be writing “The Dirt Sheet doesn’t translate well as an in ring segment.” While that’s normally true, this one became historic as Primo and Carlito set up what we’ve speculated here for weeks – Miz and Morrison will take on Primo and Carlito in a winner take all match for the Unified Tag Team Championships!
Finlay won. Didn’t see that coming.
Swagger showed up just to show up. He’s the damned Champion – he should be wrestling, or at least setting up an ECW Championship match for WrestleMania.
Tyson Kidd and Evan Bourne are on a collision course. I could see that one curtain jerking WrestleMania if WWE decides to pull the trigger on that feud after just three weeks.
And of course, we got the obligatory tag match with the Money In The Bank participants.
Overall, a pretty good show, in my opinion. I ejoyed it.
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3 Comments
Drowgoddess
Yaay, Evan Bourne! Although the comment of "I refuse to call him by his slave name" sticks in my head from another forum.
It's like the scene from "Fight Club."
"His name is Matt Sydal."
Anyone else not give two tugs of a dead dog's cock about the Bella twins splitting up and feuding?
ThinkSoJoE
the Bella Twins thing you could see coming. Nikki always looked infatuated with The Miz and John Morrison, while Brie has always seemed disgusted by them. The whole thing is secondary to the real story though, that they've finally made it official that they're going to be unifying the Tag Team Championships. Considering the two Women's champions have been showing up on each other's shows and scoring victories over one another, that's probably not too far off. I'd venture to say that the "brand extension" is going away within the next couple of years. Maybe as early as the WWE Draft in April? Wouldn't surprise me one bit to see Vince McMahon come back after RAW gets a lot of top stars and declare the whole thing dead.