Greetings, bored wrestling fans!
Your Empress of “Impact” has had major internet access problems recently, resulting in a lack of columnage. While my connection lasts, here’s a link to a review of this week’s show: http://www.f4wonline.com/content/view/9462/105/
Raven, Kennedy, and Striker – OH MY! Let’s get started.
Monday night on RAW, Mr. Kennedy returned to the WWE after being out for a very long period of time with an injury. What followed was not nearly as surprising – he injured himself in his first match back. The fans at the Staples Center seemed to enjoy his presense, but that wasn’t enough for the WWE to keep wasting their time with MISTEEERRRRRRR INJURY PRONE!
INJURY PRONE!
Kennedy was back for four days before WWE decided to release him from his contract. Do you think that TNA would take him, or is he now resigned to work as MISTEEEERRRRRRR FRY COOK?
5/30/09 UPDATE: Rumor flying around is that Randy Orton had some kind of discussion backstage with Mr. Kennedy following RAW, that Orton has considerable influence in the company, and these factors may have been what led to Mr. Kennedy’s release.
ECW color commentator Matt Striker is the center of controversy this week as alleged nude photos of the school teacher turned professional wrestler began circulating the internet. Internet Wrestling Community pundits are beginning to wonder if this is the sort of thing that could cost Striker his cushy World Wrestling Entertainment job. In my opinion, if Disney kept that High School Musical girl after her nude pics leaked, WWE will certainly keep Striker.
Buff Bagwell did an interview recently where he said he’d work for WWE for free, and if TNA called him, he’d listen. Does this guy seriously think he’s got a shot at WWE again? He was there for all of a week before they fired his ass the first time around.
AOL and Time Warner are set to dissolve their merger after nearly a decade. Could this mean a new wrestling organization under the direction of Ted Turner is now possible?
WWE has now changed the name of the Unforgiven Pay-Per-View event. It’s going to be called “WWE Breaking Point” and is rumored to be a submission themed pay per view. I kind of like the idea, though there aren’t really a whole heck of a lot of submission wrestlers on the roster that I can think of at the moment, so I can’t imagine what the matches would be.
The highlight of my week actually happened on TNA iMPACT! this past Thursday night as my favorite wrestler returned. During a therapy session, Dr. Stevie put Abyss in a straight jacket, prompting Lauren to come to his rescue. Through the crowd emerged a familiar face – RAVEN! The former NWA and ECW Champion took away Dr. Stevie’s kendo stick – and blasted Abyss with it himself! Raven and Dr. Stevie, the former ECW Tag Team Champions reunited with an embrace in the ring. Welcome back, Raven!
Hey everybody. Welcome to another catch-phrase filled review of WWE Superstars. Ain’t no stoppin’ me now….
Match number 1: the World’s Greatest Tag Team against the team that “spits in the face of people who don’t want to be cool,” Primo and Carlito.
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo,yo,…..yo,….yo,….yo,….YO! During the match, Cryme Time makes an appearence to distract the WGTT. Carlito hits a springboard flip into a backstabber. The San Juan Southpaw gets the win for the Colons. Now that’s cool. This was a good tag match. It looks like WWE is seemingly rebuilding the tag division. This match gets a 8 out of 10
Match number 2: The two time, two time All-American American Jack Thwagger against Finlay
On his way to the ring, Swagger does his monkey walk. I find it really weird. His name may be Finlay and he may love to fight, but he got dominated in this one. Swagger gets the win with his gutwrench powerbomb. This short match gets a 5 out of 10. It didn’t present enough for anything more.
The main event: The Champ is (not) here for this one. John Cena against The Million Dollar Man……errrrrr…..I mean the Million Dollar Man’s son, Ted DiBiase. Oh well….Everybody’s got a price and everybody’s gonna pay!
Word Life against the Priceless one. This is definitely a future main event fued. John Cena gets the win in this match with the STFU. This match was decent for a Cena match. The guy has gotten better and is no longer torture to watch in the ring. This match gets a 7 out of 10.
The show was ok. The show was definitely not The Miz, so it was not awesome. I am however, because that’s how I roll! Peace out PEEPS!!!
The best way I can even attempt to top the Bangles, is show you my favourite songs at the moment, through the magical power of random links.
Let’s party like it’s 1999.
TNA Sacrifice
Lethal Consequences and Eric Young def. MotorCity Machine Guns and Sheik Abdul Bashir
Apparently, this match was announced on the TNA website the day of, or the day before the PPV. Great idea TNA. Although, the MMG and Afro Thunder/Randy Savage have been chasing Suicide the past few weeks, trying to find out his identity. Speaking of Suicide, I sense another link coming on.
Monster’s Ball: Taylor Wilde def. Daffney w/Abyss
Taylor Wilde wins and Abyss chokeslams Dr. Stevie Richards onto thumbtacks. This was the first KnockOuts Monsters Ball and hopefully it is the last. The only possible way I would watch a match like this, is with a group of friends so we can all bag the crap out of a match like this.
Suicide def. Daniels after Daniels had already won, but wanted the match restarted because of MMG’s interference.
I’m serious. Daniels won, but because MMG interfered and he didnt want to win that way, he wanted to make things fair. Yeah and you lost Daniels. Your so good Daniels, that you won the match, but thought, you know what? We all know Suicide is a woman and it’s hard to be a woman, trust me I know. I can beat a woman fair and square cant I? Jeff Jarrett thought the same thing about Chyna, but the difference is, Chyna is a man, Suicide is not.
Angelina Love def. Awesome Kong to retain the KnockOuts Championship
Kong misses a move and Love sprays hair spray in Kong’s eyes and gets the pin. Your telling me that Kong dismantles Madison Rayne, Velvet Sky and one half of the Smokin’ Gunns, yet a simple can of hair spray is what stops her? She’s a behemoth and yet she’s as soft as a kitten. It’s not right. This is a mistake. Kong should be and always be an indestructible force that should only be stopped by some sort of gang hit or by numerous numbers.
Samoa Joe def. Kevin Nash
The broken down injury prone Outsider survived a match without getting injured. It’s a miracle. If only Waco, Texas had a miracle. One final thing about this match. You know Jenna Maresca/Marasca/Mascara/Mil Mascaras? Apparently, this is the song of how Big Kev met his Survivor.
BEER MONEY!!!! def. the British Invasion to win the Team 3D Tag Team tournament
Justice is almost served. Now all thats gotta happen is Beer Money regain the Tag titles and the world will be right again. Thats all I need to say about this, oh and this.
For the record, I have a coathanger.
AJ Styles def. Booker T to retain the Legends Championship
The cross dresser came and threw in the towel so Dokken T lost the match and the Dog-Faced Gremlin was in Dokken’s corner too. It’s true, she is! I Heard It Through The Grapevine.
TNA Heavyweight Championship: Sting def. Kurt Angle to become the leader of the Main Event Mafia. Mick Foley retains the TNA Championship.
You would think that I put a clip of Creed’s ‘My Sacrifice’ here, well maybe I did, you just gotta click the link to find out. By the way, who didnt see the result of the Main Event a mile away. Raise your hands all those who didnt know? FOOLS!!! All of you. Thinking that the result would go any other way? Sure, I probably said something else in my last column, but I knew that Sting was gonna beat Angle. It was the only POINTLESS result, which is why they went with it. It is TNA we’re talking about.
WWE
One thing of mention. Coach interviewing Vince on ESPNews. Vince had a good chuckle I believe.
Thats it, another Wednesday, another column. Last thing, Trojans are Australia’s Best Selling Condom. It adds a whole new meaning to the ‘Trojan Horse’ now doesnt it? Just who put all those Trojans in that horse?
How entertaining was RAW at the Staples Center following the Denver Debacle? So entertaining, in fact, that my DVR – fell asleep. So here I am, all set to make my return to show reviews at BWF, but I didn’t get to see the last 30 minutes of RAW. So with that, I invite you to go visit our friends at World Wrestling Insanity for your RAW fix this week.
Greetings, fellow line-crossers!
It’s time for TNA’s May pay-per-view offering, “Sacrifice.” Will Mick Foley retain the World Heavyweight championship? Will Jeff Jarrett lose all official control of the company he founded? Will Kurt Angle meet the same fate as other Godfathers of note and be overthrown? Will Sting ever wrestle again? Let’s find out.
Welcome everybody to you weekly dose of nonsensemy thought and views of things in the world of wrestling. Here we go: (more…)
When I was younger, I used to manage to catch every pay per view. Used to be, we’d buy them – back when there weren’t so many of them anyway. Eventually, the PPV schedule got too expensive for regular fans like me, so we’d end up missing PPVs here or there. I’m not sure why, but I somehow wound up watching “WWF: Over The Edge” on May 23, 1999. I may not remember where I watched the show, or how I got to watch it, but I’ll never forget it. It’s stuck in my memory and will never go away.
It’s not that there was a spectacular main event. Without looking it up, I couldn’t even tell you what it was. What I can tell you is that there was a match scheduled featuring the Godfather defending the Intercontinental Championship against the Blue Blazer. If you don’t know what happened at this particular event, it may just sound like another wacky Attitude Era match between a pimp and a superhero. Sadly, the match never took place.
The promo video for the match aired, as it normally would, but instead of coming out of the promo and straight into the entrances, an obviously thrown off JR shoots us to an interview conducted earlier in the day by Kevin Kelly with The Blazer, concluding his statement with “we’ve got big problems out here.”
When the interview was over, a wide shot of the Kemper Arena crowd followed, with the voice of JR.
“Ladies and gentlemen, when you’re doing live television a lot of, uh, things can happen, and sometimes they are not good. The Blue Blazer, who we know is Owen Hart, was gonna make a very spectacular super hero like entrance from the rafters, and something went terribly wrong here,” explained JR. “Certainly, Owen Hart… Blue Blazer – very serious situation here at this point in time, is being attended to by the EMTs. This is not a part of the entertainment here tonight. We are as… This is as real as real can be here. And uh, the EMTs are tending to Owen in the ring now. And we are, again, at a little bit of a loss in this situation. I’ve been doing this for more years than I’d like to admit, and this is the… well, it’s one of the most shocking things I’ve ever seen. This is not your typical wrestling storyline. This is a real situation. Owen Hart was to ascend in a super-hero like entrance from the ceiling of this arena, and something terribly, terribly went wrong. I don’t know if the harness broke, or what the malfunction was, and, uh, we are going to keep our cameras on this crowd at this point in time…”
JR continued to reiterate that Owen Hart had an accident, and that it was not a part of the show. He tells us the show will go on, but that the bigger issue is that Owen Hart has been seriously, seriously inured. Jerry Lawler rejoins him at the broadcast booth and says that it “doesn’t look good at all.”
An interview with a very somber Jeff Jarrett and Debra followed. They put over their match, and mentioned that Owen was in their prayers.
In true showbiz fashion, after the EMTs managed to get Owen out of the arena and to a nearby hospital, the WWF’s show went on. Three matches followed Owen’s fall, with very somber performers working them, some of whom – namely Jeff Jarrett, Debra, and The Road Dogg – saying that Owen was in their prayers in their pre-match promos.
Following a tag team elimination match between The Union and The Corporate Ministry, the camera went right back to JR and The King at ringside, with some terrible news.
“Ladies and gentleman,” began JR. “Earlier tonight here in Kansas City, tragedy befell the World Wrestling Federation and all of us. Owen Hart was set to make an entrance from the ceiling and he fell from the ceiling. I have the unfortunate responsibility to let everyone know that Owen Hart has died. Owen Hart has tragically died from that accident here tonight.”
That was a decade ago tonight. It was a very sad night indeed for everybody involved in professional wrestling, be in the performers, the promoters, or, of course, the fans. Allegedly, Owen was supposed to fly in from the rafters, press a quick release trigger on his harness, and fall flat on his face. Apparently, he’d inadvertantly triggered the mechanism, and wound up falling 50 feet (some reports say 78 feet) to his death.
The following night on RAW, the storylines were dropped, the wrestlers weren’t forced to work, and several of them told stories about their fallen friend. They all talked about how much Owen loved his wife and his children, and how he was a legendary prankster backstage. Those are two nights that I’ll never forget for as long as I live. They say only the good die young – Owen was 34. We’ll never forget you, Owen!
Greetings, fellow line-crossers!
Your Empress of “Impact” is here, with a review of tonight’s go-home show and predictions for Sunday’s “Sacrifice” pay-per-view. Tonight’s episode is titled “Double J in Jeopardy.” Will the TNA Founder remember to phrase the answer in the form of a question? Let’s find out!
Hey everybody! Whose ready for another review of the rotating half face show?! I gotta say, the intro to Superstars kinda freaks me out a little. But, I digress. Let’s get this thang started.
First match of the evening pits THE ECW CHAMPION….CHRISTIAN against the Tommy Dreamer for the ECW title.
First out is Christian with his new shirt. I can’t wait to get it! Next out is the challenger, who was actually challenged by the champ, Tommy Dreamer. Why is the ECW championship match leading off the D-show? Shouldn’t it be the main event? Whatever….At one point, Dreamer looked like he was smelling Christian’s butt, when he applied a knee wrench. That was a little awkward. Throughout the match, Dreamer worked on Captain Charisma’s knee that was injured by Jack Swagger on ECW. This was a pretty good match. I’m not a huge fan of Dreamer’s work, but he certainly is not horrible. Christian is great and always does his part in the match. Dreamer hit a sicknasty suplex off the top rope and a cannonball to the outside, which were his two big spots of the night. Swagger made his way out the ringside and this match was ruled a no-contest. This match will likely be a triple threat match at Extreme Rules. This match gets a 8 out of 10.
Backstage interview with Josh Mathews and Chris Jericho
Jericho accuses Mathews of not respecting him and ties CMPunk’s popularity to his MITB briefcase. He defines greatness as himself and says Punk has his brush with greatness tonight.
The second match of the night is Kofi Kingston against William Regal
Regal should get a run at a world title soon. The guy is great. These two seem to work well together. I like their mix of high-flying and technical/brawling styles. From out of nowhere, Kingston hit the Trouble in Paradise for the win. This was good match for its length. I give it a 7.5 out of 10.
The main event of the evening is Chris Jericho and CM Punk
This match was good, but it seemed really random to have these two squaring off. It would have made more sense to have Punk and Rey tagging against Jericho and Umaga. This is the main event in name alone, as these two have no current beef with each other…Yet. Punk got the win with a counter of the Walls of Jericho into a rollup. After the match, Jericho hit a Code Breaker. This match looked like a seed-planter for a future program. We shall see. This match gets a 8.5 out of 10.
The show was very entertaining tonight. Except for the main event, everything else continued the storylines. Hopefully Jericho and Punk will start something going into Summerslam. As I leave you I will pose a question for you to ponder…If a penny is the unit for the American dollar, shouldn’t an ounce be the unit for the British pound?