Here’s the results from this week’s edition of Main Event (note I didn’t watch RAW this week but more on that Sunday): (more…)

All quotes are courtesy of Twitter @WWEUniverse

We open with a “special report” of Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar “invading” WWE headquarters.  We are shown stills, and told there is more to come later.

We recap Ryback leaving Cena to the mercy of The Shield (who has none.)

Monday Night RAHHHHHHHH opens with John Cena running to the ring, because you want to do that w/a bad heel.  The announce team of Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, and Jerry Lawler sell the injury more than he does.

Cena helps himself to Daniel Bryan’s “YES/NO” gimmick, and explains that competing in the main event last week wasn’t good for his hurt foot, and he hasn’t been 100% since 2005, but that will not stop him from defending the title at Extreme Rules.

Managing Supervisor of RAW, Vicki Guerrero makes her entrance w/her standard “EXCUSE ME!” shtick, which has REALLY run out of steam to confront Cena.  She calls out Ryback wanting to give them both the chance to be heard regarding their match at Extreme Rules.

Vicki asks John to tell us what kind of stipulation he wants for the title match.  Cena offers Ryback the options of “running away like a scared little girl match,” where you win by running away first, or a “bitching contest.” Cena tells Vicki she can make it a “Vicki’s Granny Panties on A Pole Match,” but quickly changes his mind.

 “No man, woman or child should have to see that…” – @JohnCena, #RAW

Ryback responds by saying he’s smart enough to walk away from a fight at the wrong time.  He chooses to make it a Last Man Standing match (and I think calls Cena “Shawn” by accident.)

Rytman Remark: Considering the last two “Last Man standing” matches they’ve done, I’m starting to think these guys just want an excuse to tie each other up in duct-tape. (Cock Talk, Sunday @ 4p.m. on Mixlr, after BWF Radio @ 2p.m., 1 p.m. in my area.  Believe me that can be really uncomfortable.)

We’re reminded of the Heyman/Lesnar “invasion” that we’ll be seeing later tonight, as Ran-dal KEETH Or-ton makes his way out to the ring.

Back from break, we’re shown a clip from Smackdown of Or-Ton defeating Sandow, Big Show distracting Orton, allowing Sandow to hit him w/the “term-in-ous,” after their match.

Sandow makes his entrance w/his own take on Orton’s theme…

“And now a song…”

“Randy has voices inside his head, just watching him puts me to bed, puts me to sleep…”

“Randy walks down here on this ramp, his expression stays the same…”

“Does his pose up in the corner, can’t think of anything more lame…”

“All his tattoos are disgusting…”

“All that oil on him is heinous…”

“I guess you get to sit back and watch me beat this ignoramus…” – Damien Sandow

“You’re Welcome.” – Damien Sandow

RANDY ORTON DEF. DAMIEN SANDOW – A riled up Orton goes right after Sandow.  Sandow escapes to the outside, but Orton goes right after him.  Sandow rolls in/out of the ring w/Orton still on top of him.  Sandow counters a D.D.T. by backing Orton into the guard rail.  Orton takes control right back w/an inverted neck-breaker and dominates as we go to break.

We come back with Sandow in control w/a chin-lock (what irony.) Sandow beats Orton down and hits the “elbow of disdain.”  Orton fights out and takes over again w/scoop-slams, a drop-kick, D.D.T. off the second rope, and the RKO.

After the match, Big Show comes out of nowhere and clocks Orton w/the big right hand as Orton makes his way up the ramp.

Rytman Remark: Sandow is a brilliant heel.  Too bad he’s in WWE.

Later tonight, World Heavyweight Champion Dolph Ziggler meets Alberto Del Rio one-on-one.

Next up is Fandango, who we see rehearsing w/his dance partner, NOT SUMMER RAE!

DUN-DUN-DUHHHHHN!

Back from break THE WALLS DOWN!

JERICHO IS HERE!  Jericho comes out in all his sparkly jacket glory as we take a look back at him brutalizing FAHN-Johnny Curtis back in London, and stealing a dance from Summer Rae.

RAW IS JERICHO!!! And we know that Fan-Dumbo is coming out next, Jericho has decided to put together a judge’s panel to critique Fan-Dodge Durango, Fan-Dimple, Fan-Dingle berry, Fan-Day Glow, Fan-doodle, Fan-GOIN TO A GO-GO!  DON’TCHA WANNA GO!?  Jericho introduces our judges, Tons of Funk w/the Funkadactyls,

Johnny Curtis (I AM NOT PLAYING ALONG ANYMORE!) makes his entrance, led out by a lovely lady who is NOT SUMMER RAE!

DUN-DUN-DUHHHN!

Nor is she bringing up three very lovely girls.

The judges give Johnny a two, a one, and a two, for his entrance.  Johnny gets angry, Johnny gets mad, and Johnny brings up Jericho’s “failure” on Dancing with The Stars, saying it doesn’t make him an expert.

R-Truth is out and apparently he will face off w/Curtis tonight.

R-TRUTH DEF. JOHNNY-OK FINE-FAHN-DAHN-GO! – The two men put together less than a minutes worth of spots until Fahn-fuck it, the dancer guy rolls to the outside.  R-Truth gives us a few steps, and the judges give him a ten, a ten, and a 42 because Brodus can’t find his ten.  An angry dancer grabs his date and takes a count-out loss.

“Who do these judges work for? Don King?” – @JCLayfield, #RAW

Rytman Remark: “Phuck you.”

We come back from break to see Triple H doing a spot for the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer foundation for mother’s day.

We take a look at Ryback getting the win over Daniel Bryan on Smackdown last Friday, followed by Bryan taking a beating from the Shield.  Bryan gets interviewed by Josh Matthews, and challenges Ryback to a rematch.  Ryback comes out to refuse and call Bryan half the man that he is.  Kane is up in Ryback’s face, making a challenge of his own.  Ryback says Kane isn’t the monster he used to be, gives him the hash tag (#Ryback Rules,) and walks off.

Back at ringside, Ricardo Rodriguez is out to introduce ALBERTOOOOOOOOO DELLLLLLL RRRRRRRIO!  He’s facing Dolph Ziggler and friends next.

Rytman Remark: Dolph Ziggler and friends will be the next animated cartoon produced by WWE.  Dolph, Big E. and AJ will all be teens going to school in outer-space and solving mysteries while singing fake pop-songs…

…

…

(Rytman just starts crying.)

ALBERTO DEL RIO (w/Ricardo Rodriguez) DEF. WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/AJ and Big E.) BY DQ – We’re shown a replay of Del Rio getting a submission win over Ziggler in a three-way tag match on the last Smackdown as the Dolph-tourage (Copyright; Robert Rytman) makes their way to the ring.  The match itself is a back-and-forth of spots until Jack Swagger and Zeb Coulter make their way out to join on commentary.  Zeb mentions slapping Big E. in the face and how he could beat the French.  Big E. grabs ADR by the face and tosses him into Swagger.  Swagger takes Big E. into the post and grabs a ladder from under the ring.  Ricardo tries to stop him, but gets tossed and brutalized w/the ladder.  Swagger goes off on Del Rio and Ziggler w/the ladder, and walks off w/Zeb, leaving their opponents scattered all over the ring.

We get a recap of Ryback choosing the stipulation for his match w/Cena and go to break.

Rytman Remark: Why did Del Rio choose a type of match where not only do his opponents have the same experience and success rate as him, but one where he has to climb on a bad leg? 

We’re back, and talking about WWE’s new partnership w/Yahoo, which will bring us a RAW online pre-show because meatloaf.

It makes as much sense as anything else.

Backstage: Kaitlin and the Funkadactyls are discussing her “secret admirer.” Naomi jokes about him being a stalker, and locking her up in a basement because violence towards women is always funny (Cock Talk, 4 p.m. Sunday on Mixlr, after BWF Radio @ 2 p.m. Eastern, 1 p.m. in my area.  Believe me, it hurts.) Natalya offers to have the Great Khali go “undercover” in the men’s locker room (Cock Talk – Sunday 4 p.m. after BWF Radio @ 2 p.m. Eastern on Mixlr,) to find out who it is (Hornswoggle.) Everybody leaves, and the Bellas step out from behind a curtain where they were eavesdropping because apparently this is now a Hanna-Barbera cartoon.

Rytman Remark: Anyone besides me wanna duct-tape the Bellas to a BBQ spit? I’m just asking.

The Shield is out.  They make their way to the ring as we take a look back at Dean Ambrose getting a win over Kane on Smackdown last Friday.  They’re in tag team action after the break.

THE SHIELD DEF. WWE U.S. CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON AND THE USOS – Usos start off strong but Roman Reigns soon turns the tide.  Kofi gets a hot tag and hits most of his spots.  Match breaks down into a brawl, and Kofi gets shoved off the top rope.  Ambrose ends this w/a Short-step Bulldog on Kofi for the three-count.

This Wednesday on Main Event, Antonio Cesaro will face Randy Orton.  As Cesaro comes to the ring, we’re shown a recap – picking up a pattern here people? – of the AMAZING Cesaro/Kingston U.S. title match where Kofi defended successfully, and walked away… less successfully, being ambushed and partially Scalped by Cesaro.

ANTONIO CESARO DEF. ZACK RYDER BUT YOU SHOULD’VE KNOWN THAT THE MOMENT I TYPED “ZA…” – Ryder gets in a few offensive spots, but Cesaro dominates this w/his combo of strength, mat wrestling, and brute force.  This ends with a neutralizer and a three-count for Cesaro.

Cesaro grabs the mike, makes a “World’s most interesting man,” reference and runs down a list of WWE programming…

 “I put the “W” in @WWE. There’s nobody on NXT, Saturday Morning Slam, Superstars, Main Event, Smackdown, and Monday Night #Raw that can hold a candle to what I can do in this ring.” – @AntonioCesaro

Okay, so this is our main course for the evening, the “invasion” of WWE HQ by Heyman and Lesnar.  We’re shown some security footage stills of the two entering the building, and then we go to break.

Back from break, we’re live w/Paul Heyman via satellite.  He gives us an exclusive video of him and Lesnar entering WWE HQ, threatening WWE employees, and trashing Triple H’s office, because one of the greatest minds in wrestling thought it would be a good idea to make a video of his client committing a felony.

“The destruction in this office is exactly what awaits @TripleH when he steps inside the #SteelCage at #ExtremeRules!” @HeymanHustle #RAW

“@BrockLesnar is going to take @TripleH to the EXTREME. And then, he’ll go further … and further … and further….” – @HeymanHustle

TIME TO PLAY THE GAAAAAAAAAAME!!!

Triple H is out to say Heyman looks like a baby chick, and remind us all he was the founding father of Degeneration X and the one who knocked Lesnar out at Wrestlemania.  He then talks about the trashing of his office…

“I’m standing in my other office … and this office has one hell of a view! … This office is more like my home!” – @TripleH, #RAW

And this is my favorite moment of the night.  Triple H finishes his promo, then there’s a moment of awkward silence – which is another theme of the night – And that’s when the crowd realizes he’s waiting for them!  HE HAS TO CUE THE CROWD TO CHEER!

Rytman Remark:  HE HAS TO CUE THE CROWD TO CHEER!

We go to break.

We come back to AJ and the Bellas walking out for their six diva tag match against Kaitlin/the Funkadactyls.  This is followed by a promo for the new E! Show, “Total Divas,” which I’m guessing will focus on the Bellas.

WWE DIVA’S CHAMPION KAITLIN/THE FUNKADACTYLS (NAOMI/CAMERON) VS. AJ LEE/THE BELLA SISTERS – AJ dominates Cameron, Cameron is a screamer, (Cock Talk – Sunday 4 p.m. after BWF Radio @ 2 p.m. Eastern on Mixlr,) AJ hits her w/two neck-breakers without letting her go, (nifty.) Cameron takes over, tags in Kaitlyn, AJ goes for a tag, the Bellas bail on her, AJ takes a spear by Kaitlyn for the three-count.

“She just pinned all three personalities!” – @JCLayfield #RAW

Rytman: When did this Kaitlin get three personalities?

Mark Henry is next after the break.

“Be a Star,” promo with P. Diddy, the guy I personally think killed Biggie/Tupac.

Mark Henry is out here to cut a promo on Sheamus acting real tough.  That’s where the problem is.  Henry doesn’t have to act tough.  He Is Tough.  Henry shows us him jumping Sheamus during interviews on Smackdown and RAW.

Sheamus interrupts Henry with his entrance.  He shows us the parts of the video he left out.  Sheamus shows us him punking out Henry in a tug of war on RAW, and an arm wrestling match on Smackdown.

Henry tells Sheamus he shouldn’t be joking around.  Sheamus calls Henry a bear w/a sore head.  They get ready to fight right there and then, and Barrett comes out.

Barrett vs. Sheamus after the break

SHEAMUS DEF. WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMP WADE BARRETT – During the break, Henry joined the commentary team and apparently Cole made Henry mad.  Henry calls Cole “ate up with Stupid,” and tells Bradshaw to carry this like always.  Everyone takes turns telling Cole to shut-up.  During the match, Sheamus FAKES OUT tossing Barrett into Henry.  Henry flinches and spills out of the chair.  Henry gets mad and runs into a Brogue kick by Sheamus.  Henry is down, and for a moment I think he’s hurt legit when trainers rush over to him.  This is just a ruse however, so Henry can pull a belt off the attendant and go after Sheamus.  Sheamus hits “White Noise” and the Brogue Kick on Barrett for the three-count.  Sheamus is beaten down with the belt and take a “World’s Strongest Slam” on the arena floor.  Henry walks off.  Attendants try to help Sheamus.

Rytman: A lot about tonight’s show could be considered “ate up w/stupid.” And I’m sorry, but I’m starting to hate JBL more than Cole.

Back from break, we get the major announcement we’ve all been waiting for… next week, it’s official!

JERICHO!

VS.

FANDANGO!

IN A DANCE OFF!

We get another re-cap of the Heyman/Lesnar “Invasion” and we move on to our Main Event…

RYTMAN: AN ACTUAL WRESTLING MATCH!  TWO WEEKS IN A ROW!  THE MAIN EVENT IS A WRESTLING MATCH! 

WHOOPDEE-PHUCKIN’-DOO!

RYBACK DEF. WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION KANE – Ryback will be on Jericho’s Highlight Reel this Friday on Smackdown.  This match is a hard fought brawl, with the momentum going back and forth.  Ryback sends Kane into the guard rail and takes over as we go to break…

Ryback is still in control as we come back, until he runs into a boot from Kane.  Kane dominates Ryback until he runs into a spine-buster.  Kane counters a Shell-Shock attempt w/a suplex, but makes the mistake of taking this fight to the top rope.  Ryback crotches Kane and hits the Shell-Shock for a three-count.

SIERRA, HOTEL, INDIA, ECHO, LIMA, DELTA, BELIVE IN THE SHIELD…

Everyone’s favorite militia makes their appearance.  Ryback bails as Daniel Bryan runs to the aid of Kane, followed by WWE Champion John Cena.  Cena and Bryan manage to fight off the hounds of justice pretty well by themselves.  Ryback has a chair and takes a few weak swings at the Shield, but really unloads on Cena with it as Cena tries to AA Roman Reigns.  RAW ends w/Ryback; standing over a fallen John Cena.

Rytman’s Review: …

…

…

Ugh.

That’s it, that’s all I have.

Last week, you could at least give them credit for having a few solid, if predictable matches.  This week had NOTHING!  The slight amount of actual in-ring action was more like filler than any of the dumb skits.  I’ll give them credit for making Swagger, Cesaro, and even Ryback looking strong here, but that’s it.

In conclusion, I wonder if WWE even wants to do RAW anymore.

It’s that time of the week again for the radio to tell you everything it knows.  Joe, Jorge, G, and JT are joined by a pair of Brians this week – frequent guest Brian Muller, and occasional guest Mr. Brian DeVille.  Mr. DeVille dropped in to promote ESW BrawlFest in Lockport, NY next Friday, featuring special guests The Hurricane, Goldust, and Michael Elgin.  Wrestling television was discussed, ideas were thrown around about who Kaitilyn’s secret admirer could be, and we even spoil an upcoming episode of NXT for you!

In the news, we get conflicting reports of when CM Punk may return.  Jim Ross tweets his opinion on a women’s wrestling organization’s chances of making it on a national level.  Yahoo decides they want to get into the wrestling game, with thoughts on The Rock, and a new deal with WWE.  We reveal who the first inductee into the 2014 class of the WWE Hall of Fame will most likely be.  We hear from G how the Rogers purchase of The Score in Canada may affect the WWE.  We have a good laugh at statements from Alberto Del Rio and Bully Ray, are dumbfounded by the happenings at a recent TNA house show, and much, much more!  Tune in!

BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 72 (MP3, 2:06:13)

This week’s break song was “Anthem” by Rush, as covered by Anthrax.  Buy it here!

ESW Brawlfest, May 10th at the Kenan Center Arena in Lockport, NY

Here are some really quick results from this week’s ROH TV Episode.  May the 4th be with you! (yes I had to do it): (more…)

As I’m running a late today, no intro hooplah, jibbah jabbah, preambling. There shall be hopping however, and that’s your cue.

(more…)

Here are this weeks Results for Main Event this week: (more…)

MATCH RESULTS

RICARDO RODRIGUEZ DEF. BIG E. LANGSTON & ZEB COULTER – This is a Triple Threat match, with each man representing a superstar in the Triple Threat for the World Heavyweight Championship at Extreme Rules.  The winner decides the stipulation in that match.

The match is basically Big E. brutalizing Ricardo while Zeb hangs back on the apron.  Whenever the tide turns, Zeb tries to get involved but only brings his opponents attention on himself, setting them up to ambush each other.

While Zeb cries about his trick knee going out to avoid a confrontation w/Big E.  Ricardo tries hitting Big E. w/his bucket, to no avail.

Alberto Del Rio jumps in and takes Big E. down w/an inziguri.  Ziggler takes out ADR w/the dropkick.  Swagger tosses Ziggler.  Big E. takes Swagger and himself out w/a clothesline.  Zeb tries to pin Ricardo, but AJ tosses herself under the ref’s arm to block the count.  When Zeb complains, Ricardo rolls Zeb up for the three-count.

RANDY ORTON DEF. CODY RHODES – Slow-paced back and forth battle, but w/hard hitting spots strung together.  Neither man keeps control of the match longer than a minute, before their opponent takes over.  Pace picks up after the break, and ends with Cody jumping off the ropes into an RKO.

After the match, Matt Striker interviews Orton about his loss at Wrestlemania, and if he’s “haunted” by being knocked out.  Orton claims he’s never felt so “extreme” and RKO’s Cody again.

FUNKADATCYL NAOMI (W/CAMERON) DEF. BRIE BELLA (W/NIKKI) (REVERSED DECISION) – Before the match, we see the Bellas backstage, complaining about being shut out of the Diva Royal last week, and trashing them while plugging their new reality show on the “E” Network.

After a break, we come back to the Bellas in the ring and a promo spot for “Total Divas” on E!

The match barley goes more than a minute, with Naomi dominating until the Bellas pull the “twin magic” bit and they get the three-count w/a small package.  Cameron complains to the ref who reverses the decision and awards it to Naomi.  The Bellas respond to this by rushing back into the ring and beating the Funky cheerleaders down.

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION DOLPH ZGGLER (W/AJ & BIG E) DEF. U.S. CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON –  Before the match, we’re told Kofi is a new father and will be defending his title against Antonio Cesaro this Wednesday on Main Event.

Big week for Kofi.

Match slowly built to a fast-paced spot-fest that got the crowd going.  Kofi hits “Trouble in Paradise” but Ziggler is saved by AJ getting his foot across the ropes. (At least that’s what they went for/how they sold it.) Match ends when Kofi catapults Ziggler into the corner, goes to the second rope, and tries a flying body-press, but misses and hits the mat.  Ziggler hits the “Zig-Zag” and gets the three-count.

JACK SWAGGER (W/ZEB COULTER) DEF. ZACK RYDER – Ryder tries to get the crowd going by showing a video of Zeb getting pinned by Ricardo.  This gets Swagger enraged, and Zack pays the price, as Swagger unloads on him.  Ryder puts up more of a fight than we’d expect, however this ends w/Ryder tapping out to the ankle lock.

After the match, Swagger holds Ziggler so Zeb can get in a shot.

ALBERTO DEL RIO (W/RICARDO RODRIGUEZ) DEF. ANTONIO CESARO – Both men use the same strategy of targeting the left arm in the beginning.  Cesaro fights dirty w/hair pulling and biting, while ADR uses quickness to keep Cesaro on defense.  After the break, Cesaro is in control, using his power to hold down Del Rio, and his forearm shots to get a few two-counts, while the crowd starts the “Ole!” chant.  (Oddly, Ricardo tries to get one going for Del Rio.) Del Rio’s agility decides this as Cesaro misses a charge into the corner post.  He tries to roll up Del Rio, but Alberto locks in the cross-arm-bar.  Cesaro tries for the ropes, but can’t make it, and taps out.

After the match, Del Rio announces the stipulation for his triple threat title match at Extreme Rules.  He chooses to make it a ladder match.

THE SHIELD DEF. WWE CHAMPION JOHN CENA/WWE TAG CHAMPIONS TEAM HELL NO (KANE/DANIEL BRYAN) – Match starts out as a brawl, and the faces clear the ring quickly.  Kane starts off brutalizing Ambrose, who quickly tags in Reigns, who doesn’t do much better but does get Kane back into their corner.  Rollins comes in, and Kane takes over.  At one point, Kane teases choke-slamming the ref when he tries to get Kane to back off Rollins.  Cena tags himself in and he and Bryan get Kane to calm down.  Cena is in for only a few seconds before his tendon injury acts up, and he quickly tags in Bryan.  Bryan and Kane carry the load in this match, and are in control until the break.  We come back with Bryan in trouble as each Shield member takes turns punishing him.  Bryan gets Kane back in, and Kane unleashes his fury on the Shield.  Match spills to the floor and Kane takes a D.D.T. on the concrete.  Kane just barley beats the ten count back in, and makes the tag to Cena.  Cena come in strong, but the tendon gives out on him when he tries to AA Rollins.  Reigns spears Cena, and gets a three count.

ANGLES/STORYLINES

WORLD WISH DAY: We’re told about WWE champ John Cena hurting himself on the European tour, and how he made being on RAW this night a priority.  This was “World Wish Day,” and Cena had a special presentation to make.

After the break, we see Cena meeting a very sick boy named Nick on the Today Show.  He meets Nick and invites him and his family to Monday Night RAW.

Cena comes out with Nick and two other kids who wanted to go to RAW.  This was a promotion for the Make-a-Wish foundation and Cena reminded us all to go to wish.org/wwe to learn how we can help make wishes come true.  To make it even more special, Cena decides to make the kids honorary superstars.

The first boy, Jacob, declares himself “The Eliminator.” The second, Nick, calls himself “Nick the Stitch.” And the last boy was “Lightning Logan.” Cena goads the crowd into giving the kids a big cheer, and thanks us for making this special moment even better.

WWE has granted over 5000 Make-a-Wish foundation wishes since 1982.

SHIELD/HELL NO + RYBACK/CENA: – The Shield come out to cut a promo about their success in keeping Ryback from winning the WWE title, and run down a list of everyone they’ve put down, including The Rock, the Big Show, Sheamus, and Cena.

“No one can stop the #HoundsOfJustice! Not even a giant! Not a warrior! And not even the Champ!” – @TheShieldWWE

 The Shield brings up their beat-down of the Undertaker on Smackdown last Friday, mentioning how Justice doesn’t care if you’re undefeated at Wrestlemania.

 “When your number gets called, justice strikes without mercy!” – @TheShieldWWE

Suddenly, 3MB, (Slater, McIntyre, Mahal,) make their entrance.

“3MB? Why?” – Jerry Lawler

 Slater tells the Shield to shut up.  They want payback for the Shield interrupting their beat-down of Triple H two weeks ago.

 “Now, we crash YOUR party. And ROCK YOUR FACE!” – @JinderMahal

The band hits the ring, and it goes badly for them.  Shield is in control, until the pyro hits.  WWE tag champs team Hell No runs in and chases them off.

Backstage: Cena gets his heel taped up.  Ryback comes in to comment on it.  Cena notes he’s “hurt” not “injured,” and can still go.

 “I’m more effective on one leg than you are on two.” – @JohnCena

Ryback says he can’t take that chance.

Later in the show, Ryback goes to RAW Managing Supervisor Vicki Gurrero (and her assistant Brad Maddox) to complain about working with a hurt partner.  Vicki says she’ll pull Cena and make team Hell No Ryback’s partners.  Ryback doesn’t trust either of those guys and simply says “No.”

The next time we see Ryback, it’s as he’s bailing while Matt Striker tries to interview him.

Later in the night, Maddox tells Hell No they have to fight without Ryback, fine with them.  Vicki tells Maddox he has one more thing to do.

Maddox talks to Cena about the match tonight.  Cena makes it clear he will be wrestling tonight.

“No, I’m hurt. YOU will be hurt bad if you don’t go tell your boss I’m fine tonight.” – @JohnCena

After the match, (see above,) Ryback is on the stage, smug and satisfied seeing Cena hurt in the ring.

AJ/KAITLIN: The “Dolph-tourage” (Copyright: Robert Rytman) is backstage, congratulating themselves on a great win over Kofi (see above.) Kaitlin and Natalya cross paths with them.  They trade some harsh words until Kaitlin receives a package.  It’s a hat to match her bracelet from a “secret admirer.” (It’s Hornswoggle, I know it.)

HENRY/SHEAMUS: “Worlds Strongest Man” Mark Henry is out, challenging anyone in the back to a tug of war.  Brodus and “Sweet T” both took his challenge and lost.  Sheamus came out to take the challenge, and faked out Henry, letting the rope go so that he fell on his ass, then gave him the brogue kick.

DANCE CHALLENGE: FANDANGO VS.KAHLI – Both men are asked about Jericho’s stint on “Dancing with the Stars.” Both men claim to be better.  The crowd gives it to Khali, Fandango beats him up.

In conclusion; this was a night of perfectly good wrestling marred by a lot of stupid filler.

Sniff sniff…

Welcome to another edition of Cock Talk, or as RYTMAN likes to call it, “THINK ABOUT THE CONVERSATION YOU’RE HAVING RIGHT NOW!”

Joe, Jorge, G, and JT are joined once again this week by Brian Muller.  We talk about the NHL Playoffs, the NFL Draft, and of course, all of the great wrestling shows you’ll find on TV each and every week.  We reveal who we’d like to see win the TNA X-Division poll, talk about what the substance Big E Langston was clapping from his hands may have been, and talk about how winning a title in WWE is essentially a punishment more than a merit nowadays.

In the news, we get the WrestleMania numbers, we find out the whereabouts of the Bella Twins, find out when CM Punk may potentially return, and get Maria Kanellis’ impression of Ryback.  Michael Bay’s destruction of our childhood is discussed.  In legal news, it’s Hulk Hogan’s sex tape vs. the first amendment.  And finally, we discuss the injury to John Cena that occurred on the European tour.

All this and much more!  Just download the show.  You know you want to!

BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 71 (MP3, 2:10:03)

Here’s the results from the latest edition of ROH TV hot off the presses since this episode ended just minutes ago: (more…)

Hey! They’re in the U.K.! Also known as forced attempts to recreate the chants on RAW after WrestleMania 29 Land! YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH! Has anyone else noticed they changed Fandango’s music and added crowd noise? I did. Let’s get to “entertainment you” of a show. Hopefully Shannon Moore makes a surprise return? Only one way to find out. So step up on that stool and strap on your noose , folks…. It’s hopping time!
Ok, it can’t be THAT bad. Nobody kill yourself, it’s just fucking wrestling. Go bitch about it on the internet like everybody else. That’s how we roll, peeps.
In all seriousness, there will be a much watch match on this show, as you probably already know.

Smackdown time… I guess.

(more…)