Home ▸ SmackDown ▸ SmackDown 8/3/12 is on like neckbone!

It’s Friday, it’s 8PM, it’s everybody’s favorite science fiction program – that’s right, WWE SmackDown!

Yes, I’m aware I used this the last time I filled in for G

I completely forget I’m supposed to cover the show while G is off at band camp, then wind up having to watch the show twice in a row.  That is how ThinkSoJoE’s Smackdown reviews work.  This is not a play-by-play recap, there’s enough of those online.  This is a half-assed take of the show in question.  Also, I’ll be interviewing Larry Dallas this Sunday on BoredWrestlingFan Radio.  You should tune in.  We’re live at 2PM EST at mixlr.com/boredwrestlingfan.

Do you know your enemy?  Yeah.  It’s G for making me do actual work around here.  I own this place, dammit!  I wonder what the chances are that this will go smoothly…

No chance…..

The boss is here, look busy!  Mr. McMahon is in the house, and he’s here to tell us who the new SmackDown GM is going to be, Sucka!

At least we don’t have him on commentary…

Booker T is honored to be our new GM, and Alberto Del Rio decides to congratulate him.  Sheamus wants to as well, and Booker T overrules ADR’s decision to not wrestle until SummerSlam, because he’ll be facing Randy Orton later on tonight.  Sheamus isn’t off the hook either, he’s facing Tensai, NEXT!

found at facebook.com/wrestlingmemes

Sheamus vs. Tensai

I am not sitting through this whole show.  I’m not doing my usual “this happened, then this happened, and then this happened” recap of the matches.  I’m tired and as I said before, I completely forgot I was doing this tonight.  Plus, I need to get ready to interview Larry Dallas this Sunday on BoredWrestlingFan Radio.  Did I mention that?  Anyway, this match was brutal – in the good sense of the word.  Sheamus and Tensai worked stiff, and you could see the bruises, cuts, and welts on their bodies.  In the end, it’s Sheamus winning via the Brogue Kick.

Winner:  Sheamus

Eve is begging for a job backstage.  Booker says she’ll be the first person he calls when he has an opening.  Teddy Long comes in, and Booker gives him a job.  Eve leaves, upset.

Happy birthday to one of my heroes, James Hetfield of Metallica!

Antonio Cesaro (with Aksana) says hello in 5 different languages.  Santino can barely say it in one.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Santino gets upset because the referee broke up a pinfall with Cesaro’s foot under the rope.  Santino didn’t read his WWE Rule Book very well, did he?  Cesaro wins for the second week in a row over the United States Champion.

Winner:  Antonio Cesaro

Teddy Long was just named Senior Adviser to the SmackDown GM a few minutes ago, and already, we’ve got ourselves a tag team match, playa, as coming up it’s Kane, Jericho, and Christian vs. Miz, Ziggler, and Bryan.

Daniel Bryan has a beard. Goats have beards. Therefore, Daniel Bryan is a goat. That’s logical, right?

We get a recap of Bryan’s last couple weeks including his psychological evaluation.  Bryan again demands the fans stop chanting Yes.  He says he’ll be saying “No” a lot more now.  And he’s even wearing the t-shirt to prove it.

Chris Jericho, Kane, and Christian vs. Dolph Ziggler, The Miz, and Daniel Bryan

No.  No.  No.  No.  I’m not watching this again.  I’m not a big fan of these multi guy schmozes.  Thing to take away from this:  The Yes Lock is now called the No Lock.  The heels win it.

Winners:   Daniel Bryan, The Miz, and Dolph Ziggler

I’m starting to dose off by this point, as Bryan argues with a ringside fan.

Matt Striker is interviewing Randy Boreton.  FFW!

Jinder Mahal is here to face Ryback and his invisible pyro.

FEED. ME. S’MORES!

Ryback vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal hits Ryback with a microphone.  Disqualification.  The end.

Ryback def. Jinder Mahal via DQ

Backstage, AW is with the Prime Time Players.  No rape jokes this week, just billions of dollars!

Thanks to our dear friend Hornsby at BotchedSpot.com

Darren Young vs R-Truth

I fell asleep.  I just woke back up.  I don’t know what happened.  Young picked up the win.

Winner:  Darren Young

Next week:  Cody Rhodes vs. Sin Cara.

I hear voices in my head…  They apparently tell me to take drugs and go on a 2 month “vacation.”

Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

I’m very tired, so I’ll just tell you what happened.  Orton was setting up for the RKO, Ricardo Rodriguez attacked him, Orton wins by DQ.

Winner:  Orton by DQ.

After the match, Del Rio tries to attack Orton’s arm, but Orton turns the tables.  Del Rio tries to bail, but Sheamus returns him to the ring.  Orton hits the RKO, and we all live happily ever after.

The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

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LEAVE YOUR WRESTLING FEEDBACK FOR BWF RADIO!

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That’s right smarks, marks, Little Jimmys and the like. You can now leave your audio rants and ravings and we will try to play it online. Keep in mind, we are trying to keep it clean. So do your best to avoid the language that offends people easily offended. I make a concerted effort to not call the product fucking shit ass bitch cock cunts. You can too. See? This is not on the air.

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Make sure you tell’em “G” sent you. I will give you a shout out, maybe even stalk you! Hey, free stalker! It’s a win-win situation, right?

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This Smackdown Review Appears on Two Sites! or at least it will when I get up in the morning

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Bored Wrestling Fan

A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!

Wonderpod Online

The official home of Wonderpod, and an assortment of content ranging from all things wide and far… depending on what the author’s feel like writing about. A home for reviews, commentary, pop culture, and fiction just to start. Always worth a look.

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Shameless Plugs!

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Wonderpod
A weekly podcast about the world of video games, from player experiences to current events in the industry, Bruce McGee, Pat Man, Glasenator, Jonkind and/or Gun Sage provide insight into the medium for any gamer (whether casual or “pro”). Clicking the jump will take you to the iTunes page!

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.

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