It’s Friday, it’s 8PM, it’s everybody’s favorite science fiction program – that’s right, WWE SmackDown!
I completely forget I’m supposed to cover the show while G is off at band camp, then wind up having to watch the show twice in a row. That is how ThinkSoJoE’s Smackdown reviews work. This is not a play-by-play recap, there’s enough of those online. This is a half-assed take of the show in question. Also, I’ll be interviewing Larry Dallas this Sunday on BoredWrestlingFan Radio. You should tune in. We’re live at 2PM EST at mixlr.com/boredwrestlingfan.
Do you know your enemy? Yeah. It’s G for making me do actual work around here. I own this place, dammit! I wonder what the chances are that this will go smoothly…
The boss is here, look busy! Mr. McMahon is in the house, and he’s here to tell us who the new SmackDown GM is going to be, Sucka!
Booker T is honored to be our new GM, and Alberto Del Rio decides to congratulate him. Sheamus wants to as well, and Booker T overrules ADR’s decision to not wrestle until SummerSlam, because he’ll be facing Randy Orton later on tonight. Sheamus isn’t off the hook either, he’s facing Tensai, NEXT!
Sheamus vs. Tensai
I am not sitting through this whole show. I’m not doing my usual “this happened, then this happened, and then this happened” recap of the matches. I’m tired and as I said before, I completely forgot I was doing this tonight. Plus, I need to get ready to interview Larry Dallas this Sunday on BoredWrestlingFan Radio. Did I mention that? Anyway, this match was brutal – in the good sense of the word. Sheamus and Tensai worked stiff, and you could see the bruises, cuts, and welts on their bodies. In the end, it’s Sheamus winning via the Brogue Kick.
Eve is begging for a job backstage. Booker says she’ll be the first person he calls when he has an opening. Teddy Long comes in, and Booker gives him a job. Eve leaves, upset.
Antonio Cesaro (with Aksana) says hello in 5 different languages. Santino can barely say it in one.
Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella
Santino gets upset because the referee broke up a pinfall with Cesaro’s foot under the rope. Santino didn’t read his WWE Rule Book very well, did he? Cesaro wins for the second week in a row over the United States Champion.
Winner: Antonio Cesaro
Teddy Long was just named Senior Adviser to the SmackDown GM a few minutes ago, and already, we’ve got ourselves a tag team match, playa, as coming up it’s Kane, Jericho, and Christian vs. Miz, Ziggler, and Bryan.
We get a recap of Bryan’s last couple weeks including his psychological evaluation. Bryan again demands the fans stop chanting Yes. He says he’ll be saying “No” a lot more now. And he’s even wearing the t-shirt to prove it.
Chris Jericho, Kane, and Christian vs. Dolph Ziggler, The Miz, and Daniel Bryan
No. No. No. No. I’m not watching this again. I’m not a big fan of these multi guy schmozes. Thing to take away from this: The Yes Lock is now called the No Lock. The heels win it.
Winners: Daniel Bryan, The Miz, and Dolph Ziggler
I’m starting to dose off by this point, as Bryan argues with a ringside fan.
Matt Striker is interviewing Randy Boreton. FFW!
Jinder Mahal is here to face Ryback and his invisible pyro.
Ryback vs. Jinder Mahal
Mahal hits Ryback with a microphone. Disqualification. The end.
Ryback def. Jinder Mahal via DQ
Backstage, AW is with the Prime Time Players. No rape jokes this week, just billions of dollars!
Darren Young vs R-Truth
I fell asleep. I just woke back up. I don’t know what happened. Young picked up the win.
Winner: Darren Young
Next week: Cody Rhodes vs. Sin Cara.
I hear voices in my head… They apparently tell me to take drugs and go on a 2 month “vacation.”
Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio
I’m very tired, so I’ll just tell you what happened. Orton was setting up for the RKO, Ricardo Rodriguez attacked him, Orton wins by DQ.
Winner: Orton by DQ.
After the match, Del Rio tries to attack Orton’s arm, but Orton turns the tables. Del Rio tries to bail, but Sheamus returns him to the ring. Orton hits the RKO, and we all live happily ever after.
The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.
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This Smackdown Review Appears on Two Sites! or at least it will when I get up in the morning
Bored Wrestling Fan
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