SmackDown! (02/18/11): 600th EpisodeBy RichFlynn · · 3 Comments
SmackDown! is 600 episodes old! I can vividly remember the 500th – time flies, huh? Our main event is a massive 12-man tag-team match, and I’m sure we’ll get a few more surprises thrown in for good measure!
Tonight will also see Dolph Ziggler crowned as the new World Heavyweight Champion. I’m sure that will go smoothly!
It’s worth noting that I’m chilling out with a few beers tonight (I couldn’t bring myself to say ‘brewskis’ – I’m not cool enough) so apologies in advance for any deterioration in my writing.
Edge/Orton/Morrison/R-Truth/Mysterio/Cena vs. CM Punk/Sheamus/Barrett/McIntyre/Kane/Ziggler: Speaking of the main event… it’s up first! We’re in Rey Mysterio’s hometown tonight, and the place blows the roof off when he appears. Cena receives a similar reception, which is surprising following The Rock’s verbal smackdown on RAW. CM Punk is welcomed by a chorus of boos – it’s good to see (…well, hear) such a lively crowd! As you may have noticed, this match comprises of the 12 men who will compete in the Elimination Chamber matches this Sunday. I’m assuming this is an elimination tag match, otherwise it’ll descend into a total clusterfeck. Actually, it probably will, nonetheless. This is the most star-studded match I’ve ever seen on free television, and it’s a damn good one. With this many stars involved, there’s never any real lulls or prolonged breaks. For me, two men really stand out in this match – Dolph Ziggler and John Morrison. Then again, I’ve never been shy about being a huge fan of both. Morrison’s new-found aggression on this week’s RAW was exactly what the man needed. Rey Mysterio also has a great showing – is there a chance we could see Rey leave this Sunday with the World Heavyweight Championship? As predicted, this match eventually descends into chaos, with every man taking turns to hit each other with their finishing manoeuvres. It ends with Edge taking out Ziggler with a Spear for the 3-count. Your winners: Edge and co.
Vickie Guerrero interrupts Edge’s victory celebration, and orders him to hand over his championship belt. She runs a clip of Edge using his illegal Spear last week to retain his title. Fair enough, like. Rules is rules! Vickie points out that Green Bay Packer Clay Matthews isn’t even a licensed official, and reiterates that Edge is no longer the World Heavyweight Champion… then fires him!
Todd ‘Dead Eyes’ Grisham met up with Dashing Cody Rhodes ‘Earlier This Week…’ to see how the Dashing One is doing post-facial reconstruction. Rhodes is wearing a creepy see-through mask, and announces he will have something important to tell the WWE Universe next week…
Eve/Beth Phoenix vs. Layla/Maryse: I thought Michelle McCool was in the ring, but it turned out to be Maryse. Michelle is on commentary duties, claiming she hurt her foot when she accidentally kicked Layla two weeks ago. She doesn’t stay seated for long, however, and manages to create a distraction that allows Layla and Maryse to double-team Eve and steal the win. Your winners: Layla/Maryse
We’re shown a recap of The Rock’s return. We’ve all seen the clip by now, but it’s worth mentioning one more time because, well, it was so damn… electrifying. The one problem I had is how terrible the current WWE roster looks in comparison to The Great One – hopefully his return to the ‘E will give the younger guys a big incentive to up their game. I’m looking at you, Morrison! Anyway, they air almost all of Rock’s promo from Monday night – as awesome as it was, it seems a bit of a waste of airtime, considering this is a landmark SmackDown!. Then again, this show is sorta named after him, so why not?
Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz: I took time during this match to admire Miz’s purple and black ring gear. Very nice, Miz. Very nice. I also got distracted because, by this point, I’m a few beers in and decided to read G’s report of iMPACT! here on BoredWrestlingFan.com. G is the funniest writer on this site; his reports cracks me up. I guess I’m getting to that ‘soppy emotional drunk’ phase, huh? Anyway, Alberto Del Rio makes me turn my attention back to SmackDown!. He distracts Kofi with his scarf(?!), allowing Miz to hit a Skull-Crushing Finale and get the win. They made Kofi look strong in this match-up, so kudos for that. Your winner: The Miz
Time for the commentators to talk about how amazing it is to have reached 600 episodes. Fair enough, it is a great landmark. – I’m just being glib because it means we’re about to be treated to a ‘top ten’ of the longest running weekly episodic TV shows of all time… I have an inkling what is going to be number one, folks. It rhymes with Gronday Pight SAW. Michael Cole attempts an hilarious rundown of shows I have never heard of, including My Three Sons and Ozzie And Harriet. SmackDown! eventually appears in 3rd place. Hooray! The only show standing between SmackDown! and RAW is something called Gunsmoke. I could try and mock these shows, but the names alone completely destroy anything the UK has to offer in the ‘long-running’ stakes. EastEnders? Coronation Street? No thanks.
(I’m actually a closet Coronation Street fan, but don’t tell anybody. I usually only tune in when tragedy is about to strike. What does that say about me?)
WWE Tag Team Championship – Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov vs. Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater: Last week, the champs received a beat-down at the hands of The Corre, so tonight they’re out for revenge. Indeed, Kozlov is in full control as this match begins – that is, until Barrett and Ezekiel Jackson appear at ringside… aaand it’s Obligatory Tag Match Breakdown Time™! Kozlov takes Slater out of the equation, leaving Marella and Gabriel on the mat. Santino performs a kip-up and primes the Cobra! He hits it, and goes for the cover, but Barrett and Jackson interfere and force a DQ. Big Show runs down to even the odds. Show and Jackson have a showdown, but the rest of The Corre convince Jackson to back down before the two giants clash. Your winners: Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov
It’s time for Dolph Ziggler’s coronation! I don’t care what the occasion is, or how silly it seems – I’m always just glad for a reason to have Dolph on-screen. Vickie hands Dolph the title, as a chant of ‘WE WANT EDGE’ rises from the WWE Universe. All of a sudden, Teddy Long’s music hits! Oh my. That was a quick recovery! Teddy accuses Vickie of attacking him (maybe he read my report a few weeks back?) and announces there will be a World Heavyweight Championship match… right now! Since Teddy is back in charge, he has the power to rehire people – namely, Edge!
World Heavyweight Championship – Dolph Ziggler vs. Edge: As much as I’d love to see Ziggler somehow win this, I can’t see it happening in a million years. Dolph goes for a Zigzag, but Edge hangs onto the ropes before delivering a Spear. So much for that. Ziggler looked good with the gold. Tony Chimel announces Edge as the ‘new’ champion – does that mean Ziggler is officially in the books as a champ? Your winner: Edge
Teddy Long appears again… and fires Dolph Ziggler! NOOOOOOO!! He’d better show up soon on Gronday Pight SAW. Edge gets on the mic and leads the WWE Universe in a rendition of that ‘hey hey hey, goodbye’ song. Shut up, jerk.
That’s it for this week. Make sure to come back next week for post-Elimination Chamber banter!
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