Last week, the WWE celebrated its 600th episode of SmackDown!, and it was quite the eventful night – Teddy Long returned, rehired Edge, and then promptly fired Dolph Ziggler after the Rated R Superstar recaptured his World Heavyweight Championship.

Tonight, how will Vickie (and myself, for that matter!) deal with the loss of Dolph Ziggler? What repercussions will she face for her role in recent events? Let’s find out!

The show begins with Teddy Long addressing the WWE Universe backstage. He says he has decided not to fire Vickie outright – instead, he’s giving her the opportunity to fight for her job. Vickie will team with Drew McIntyre in a mixed tag match against Edge and Kelly Kelly; if Vickie loses, she will be fired. It will be interesting to see how the Drew/Kelly dynamic plays into this main event!

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane: This combination was boring enough back when they were feuding over on RAW back in 2008, and again on the blue brand in 2010 – I can’t see this bout being anything special. Rey Mysterio does deserve props for his performance at Elimination Chamber; much like his showings in previous years, he put on one hell of a performance in the Chamber. Second only to John Morrison, I’d say – but I’m a huge, biased JoMo mark! Despite my reservations, this match-up winds up being decent. We get some good back-and-forth, and we also get a slightly unpredictable finish – Rey hits the 619, but is caught in mid-air as he attempts his splash. Kane looks to hit a Powerbomb, but Rey counters into a roll-up pin and manages to keep the Big Red Monster down! Rey, Kane and the announce team are shocked at how the match ended. Your winner: Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is busy celebrating in the ring, when ‘The American Dream’ Dusty Rhodes’ music hits! Rey looks pretty pleased to see Dusty – are you forgetting that you broke his son’s face, jerk? The two men share a hug, then Dusty gets on the mic. He wants to personally apologise to Rey for Cody’s actions and words as of late. I’m not buying it, folks. Dusty calls out Cody, who is wearing a nice suit-and-plastic mask combo. For a man not long out of ‘extensive reconstruction surgery,’ Cody looks exactly the same as before. How’s that for unnecessary criticism? Dusty tells his son that he’s lost focus – while Cody has been busy being dashing, for example, The Miz has become WWE Champion. Cody forces a strained apology to his father, and then to Rey Mysterio, and even shakes hands with his rival. Dusty follows suit, but pulls Rey back when he goes to walk away. Suddenly, Cody attacks from behind. Told you I didn’t buy what Dusty was saying! The beatdown culminates in Cody throwing Rey face-first into his Titantron digital mirror. Ouch. Cody then rips off Rey’s mask, exposing the back of Mysterio’s head to the crowd and cameras. He follows that up with a swift boot to the face, then stands victorious with Rey’s mask held high. This just got serious, kids. I guess we’re definitely looking at a WrestleMania bout between these two!

Rosa Mendes vs. Layla: Michelle McCool is at ringside for commentary once again. It looks like they’re heading towards LayCool breaking up, and I’m gutted about it. LayCool has consistently been the best thing about the Divas division for a long time now. Rosa and Layla soon spill to the outside. Michelle looks to get involved, but Rosa gets in her face. Layla takes advantage and shoves Rosa – right into Michelle, who loses her mind and attacks Rosa. Layla’s not too happy about losing the match via DQ, and the two LayCool ladies have a heated conversation in the middle of the ring. Uh oh. Your winner: Rosa via DQ.

I miss Dolph Ziggler.

Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston: Hey, it’s Jack Swagger! Remember him? The American American guy? Kofi’s arm is heavily bandaged after Alberto Del Rio’s vicious assault on Monday Night RAW. According to the commentary team, Kofi was advised not to compete tonight, but decided to go ahead with it – I guess he knew in advance he’d be facing Jack ‘Hot Streak’ Swagger. In all seriousness, though, Swagger’s the right guy to book Kofi against tonight – his aggressive style is perfect for exploiting and selling Kofi’s arm injury. Swagger avoids a dropkick by holding onto the ropes off the Irish whip, then swiftly locks in the Ankle Lock on Kingston! Kofi struggles briefly, before tapping out. Holy crap! Good going, Swaggsy. Your winner: Jack Swagger

Last week, SmackDown! aired The Rock’s return promo almost in its entirety; tonight, they’re doing the same with John Cena’s rebuttal. I’m glad this came up, actually, because it means I get to rant a wee bit about it. I have to say, Cena’s rap was pretty entertaining. In fact, it was the most entertaining Cena promo in a very, very long time. It was edgy without going too far, and it was a good reply to what The Rock hit out with last week. There were a few comments that made me a little uncomfortable, though – the Brokeback Mountain reference, for example, or calling Rocky out for wearing lipstick and a dress in one of his movies. Perhaps (well, most likely) I’m just being too sensitive on the subject, but given pro wrestling’s terrible track record, it can be extremely frustrating to still see homosexuality used as an insult. It’s 2011, for God’s sake – find something else to use as ammo! Rant over.

Moving swiftly on… Vickie is backstage, pleading Chavo Guerrero for help. Chavo is having none of it, however; he’s quick to recount a number of occasions when Vickie mistreated him in the past. You’re on your own, Vickie… Well, you and Drew McIntyre, at least.

Wade Barrett vs. Big Show: Tony Chimel announces that Teddy Long has banned the other members of The Corre from ringside for this bout. Big Show pleases everyone in attendance (and myself) by throwing his ring jacket at Michael Cole, cutting him off mid-rant. This is a predictably slow bout, with few exchanges of note. Barrett is firmly in control, although he can’t put Show down for the 3-count. The action spills outside – Barrett counters Big Show’s lift, pushing the giant into the metal post. Barrett tries to slide into the ring before the ref’s count reaches ten, but Show grabs his leg and drags him back outside. Show, however, rolls into the ring in time, winning the match via countout. The rest of The Corre appear after the bell, but Big Show grabs a steel chair as an equaliser. He leathers Justin Gabriel in the face (not seen a ‘headshot’ in a while!), causing the group to retreat. Your winner: Big Show

I’m gonna take this break as an opportunity to flog fellow BWFer Drowgoddess’ excellent article about why TNA is dead to her. Read it. After you finish reading this, of course! She perfectly sums up what is wrong with TNA’s current product (and, oh, there’s a lot of it…).

Back to SmackDown!, and we’re shown an hilariously overblown video of the confrontation between Undertaker and Triple H on Monday night. I was genuinely surprised to see Trips back, but the thought of a match between these two at ‘Mania didn’t do much to excite me. If the rumours of Shawn Michaels guest refereeing are true, though, that will definitely peak my interest. My pride’s also a little hurt, because I was hoping Sting would appear on 21.2.11. Yes, I’m one of those.

Vickie Guerrero/Drew McIntyre vs. Edge/Kelly Kelly: Vickie’s wearing her awesome singlet with ‘EXCUSE ME!’ written across it. McIntyre looks enraged as Edge and Kelly Kelly make their way down to ringside. One question – does Drew have the right to still be mad at Edge for getting Kelly fired, considering she was just rehired by Teddy Long? Maybe Drew’s just mad because he didn’t win at Elimination Chamber – another personal highlight of the PPV was his ultra-aggressive performance. Towards the end of this match, McIntyre sets up the Futureshock DDT, but Edge counters and hits an Edgecution. He backs towards a corner and signals for the Spear, but Vickie steps in between the two men and pleads Edge not to go through with it. Kelly Kelly appears from her corner and hits Vickie with her own version of the Spear, allowing Edge to hit his on Drew. 3 seconds later, and Edge is victorious. Vickie Guerrero has been fired from SmackDown!! Your winners: Edge/Kelly Kelly

Teddy Long comes out to the ring. Vickie grabs the mic from him and begs him to reconsider – no such luck, as Teddy takes great pleasure in telling her she’s fired. Vickie is hysterical as she goes round some of the personnel at ringside. The only sympathetic voice she hears is, of course, Michael Cole. She even chases a cameraman in a truly terrifying viewing experience. As a last resort, Vickie grabs a mic and begs at Edge’s feet. Edge feigns concern, then starts singing the ‘hey hey hey, goodbye’ song. The crowd joins in to sing Vickie out of the ring. Suddenly, Alberto Del Rio appears from behind Edge, and starts beating down the champ. He locks in the Cross Armbreaker, and refuses to let go as a referee tries to pry him off of Edge. He eventually relents, but the damage appears to be done. We’re definitely on the Road to WrestleMania, folks!

Well, that’s it for another week! I’m away to London next weekend, so one of my fellow BWFers will be providing next week’s SmackDown! coverage. Make sure you check back for that, and I’ll see you in a fortnight! Cheers!



  1. We may or may not see Dolph again before WrestleMania (unless they work him into a potential MitB match). If not, giving the guy a rest and allowing them to repackage him a bit might not be a bad move for his character. He's a young guy with a ton of potential, and the card is becoming rather jam-packed for WM.

    It would seem that Rey "handpicking" Cody (or so the dirtsheets and blogosphere tells us) is coming to fruition. I'm hoping Rey can indeed bring the best out in him. The fact both are smaller in size, means we don't have to expect the usual David VS Goliath storyline which is really tired and old. In that regard, I am stoked. Didn't Ted Dibiase pull something similar with his Dad a while back? That part seemed a little predictable, which is why I would have preferred that they didn't go that route. Hell, put Dusty in Rey's corner! That would add some tension to the match without doing a lot. All you need to do is have Dusty cut a promo saying something along the lines of "This is a future Hall of Famer, son. You need to show respect." Then Cody could pull out the broke-my-face line and whatnot. And of course pulling off the mask was the ultimate insult!!!! NICE! Whatever, there's been enough commentary on the other matches, good rundown on this one Flynn! Cheeyah for my hockey bro in the land that kind of invented the sport! Go Clan! (Not the KKK, seriously. More on things like that below)

    God help us all if we get a McRib's/Layla match at Mania. God help us all…

    I too held my breath for Sting… I died. That kind of sucked, dying and all.

    John Cena's character is one of the most homophobic characters on television. Personally, I could give a damn who is fucking who. I make a lot of stupid jokes, so I won't get on a soap-box on this topic since people could dismantle me quickly. However, in real-life away from the wrestling pages and so forth, this shit is "turrible…" I'd hope the parental guidance includes encouragement for parents to tell their kids that their hero, Cena, is sometimes a bigot…. the rest of the rap was good though, albeit out of time (BPM and stanza-wise). Promo-wise, and rerun-wise, I appreciated it. Lots of wisdom in this paragraph, but none of it my own.

    Cole consoling Vickie post-firing was awesome! I loved that bit, but the part with the camera man was vintage…. reminded me of that Southpark episode that mirrored Night of the Living Dead with homeless people asking for spare change.


    No doubt about it.

  2. You're right about repackaging Dolph – that would definitely be a good move!

    Aye, Ted and, er, Ted were involved in something similar – I guess that's why I saw Dusty's turn-of-sorts coming from a mile away!

    McRibs, that cracked me up. No pun intended…

    There's a difference between someone making silly jokes (God knows I make enough myself) and the 'face of the company' saying that kinda stuff – Cena's a hero to so many kids. It's just misguided, I guess. I'm glad you pointed out the BPM and stanza problem – as a hip hop fan (no, really), that bugged the hell out of me, haha!

  3. That's exactly the problem that I have with him. I would have less of an issue with the in-ring John Cena if it weren't true. Cena can't get through a promo of any kind without resorting to homophobic "humor." The number one good guy and public face of a company whose product is directed at kids, and who claims a PG rating, should not be doing that. Like it or not, the WWE's target audience will be influenced by this, and teaching kids to be bullies, either through homophobia or fat chick jokes, would be much more offensive to me as a parent than blood or the occasional swear word.

  4. Blood shouldn't be offensive, I agree. In fact, I'd encourage use of it. Maybe that would make kids realize that violence has consequences? The censorship of it in some ways makes the spectacle more fake than the critics of our beloved squared circle dance mock it for.

    • In the documentary "This Film Has Not Been Rated," that very point is made by members of the film industry. The (extremely valid) argument is made that slapping a film with a stronger rating because of blood is a backwards concept. They argue that films showing violence, particularly with weapons, and no blood or other physical consequences, should actually be rated more strongly than films depicting blood under such circumstances. Especially when people get shot. The point is that doing so would teach kids of the real consequences of such things, whereas leaving out the blood helps blur the line between fiction and reality for impressionable youth. Adults and older people who are developmentally able to separate movies from real life can watch bloodless shoot-em-ups without that problem. The same is true in wrestling, I think.

      We now return to your regularly scheduled thread.

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