SmackDown! (03/04/11): Return The PhenomBy RichFlynn · · 4 Comments
Hello BWFers! Apologies for the extreme lateness of this report – I’m just back from a hectic weekend in London with some friends. Better late than never though, right?
So, let’s have a quick wee look at this week’s SmackDown!, shall we?
Before I begin, I just wanna thank everyone who commented and got involved with my last article, Is John Cena Homophobic?. It was great to see so much discussion on the matter, and I hope some of you have stuck around on BoredWrestlingFan!
We start this week’s show with a lovely little video detailing last Friday’s firing of Vickie Guerrero. Poor Vickie. I’m sure we’ll see her again soon, however!
Tonight will see Edge and Alberto Del Rio officially sign the contract for their match at WrestleMania. Just as an aside, I think it’s great that Tinie Tempah’s ‘Written In The Stars’ is the theme for this year’s ‘Mania – he may have a rubbish name, but that’s a great wee track.
Edge comes out to the ring and boasts about his win last week resulting in Vickie being fired. He tries to get the crowd to sing another rendition of that damn ‘Hey hey hey, goodbye’ song (what is that called, anyway?), but is quickly interrupted by Drew McIntyre. Both men start trading punches, before Edge sends McIntyre to the outside. Before the Scotsman can retaliate, Teddy Long’s music hits. He thanks Drew for losing the match last week, getting rid of Vickie as a result. He then sets up a match between the two Superstars, before Edge leads the crowd in a ‘Thank you, Drew!’ chant.
Edge vs. Drew McIntyre: I’ve really been enjoying McIntyre’s newly-rediscovered aggression as of late. His performance in the Elimination Chamber was inspiring – hopefully we’ll see him rise to the top of the blue brand in 2011. Edge eventually hits the Spear on Drew, but pulls his opponent’s head up before the 3-count. Instead, he decides to lock in his Sharpshooter variant and makes McIntyre tap out. A retort to Del Rio’s Cross Armbreaker, perhaps? Your winner: Edge
Rey Mysterio appears to his music, although he looks slightly taller, slightly snazzier, and slightly more dashing. Yes, Dashing Cody Rhodes is wearing Rey’s mask, which strangely works with the black suit and red tie. We’re shown a recap of Cody’s vicious attack on Rey last week, which culminated in the theft of his mask. Kudos to Cody Rhodes here (…Codos? Rhodos? Sorry, that was terrible…), as this is easily one of the best promos he has delivered. He is another Superstar who is benefitting greatly from an aggressive streak. Cody finishes by challenging Rey to a match at WrestleMania, where he promises to unmask Mysterio after defeating him.
Backstage, The Corre offer their services to help Kane defeat Big Show later tonight.
WWE Tag Team Championships: Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel vs. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov: I kinda wish The Corre would change their t-shirts – they look like they cost a fiver to be made at one of those stalls you find in shopping centres. Let’s skip towards the end. After everybody’s favourite moment, Obligatory Tag Match Breakdown Time!™, Santino looks set to recapture the tag titles with a Cobra. The other Corre members provide a distraction, however, and Slater attacks from behind for the win. Your winners: Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel
We’re told that Christian will return to SmackDown! next week. Excellent! I’ve missed having him around.
The Undertaker is about to return, but we’re first shown Triple H’s promo on RAW. Remember that? Y’know, the one where he made the rest of the roster look bad by claiming he was the only challenge in the locker room? After that, Johnny Cash’s ‘Ain’t No Grave’ begins to play as ‘Taker makes his way down to the ring. His promo includes a lot of compliments to Trips – he even says he considers Triple H ‘probably the greatest World Heavyweight Champion over the last decade and a half.’ Um, what? What about yourself? There’s not much to comment on here – standard Undertaker Road to WrestleMania promo. I’m still not excited for that bout…
Beth Phoenix/Rosa Mendes vs. LayCool: I’m pretty gutted about the impending doom of LayCool – I honestly think the team still has legs, all these months on. This match has a wee Obligatory Tag Match Breakdown Time!™ of its own! Hooray. With the referee distracted by Rosa, Michelle interferes and kicks Beth in the head, giving Layla the victory. LayCool survives for another week, then. Your winners: LayCool
Big Show vs. Kane: If you’re excited by the prospect of this match, then you are insane. What worries me most is the implication that this will lead to that rumoured ‘Mania match of The Corre vs. Big Show/Kane/blahblah/blahblahblah. Both men go down shortly into this match with a double clothesline. Uh oh. The Corre appear at ringside, and Barrett slides a steel chair into the ring. Kane grabs it and lays into Big Show for some reason, losing the match in the process. The members of Corre pounce on Big Show, who pushes Justin Gabriel into Kane. The Big Red Monster smacks Gabriel in the back with a chair, making The Corre scatter. Yes, that was very logical booking. My fears for that Corre match continue to grow… Booker T calls Kane, ‘the Superman of the WWE.’ I’m confused. Your winner: Big Show via DQ
Jack Swagger vs. JTG: Michael Cole goes crazy as Swagger enters, as we’re reminded that Swaggsy will be Cole’s trainer for his ‘Mania match against Jerry Lawler. Apparently there’s now a ‘Team Cole’. I want a t-shirt. Forget those Twilight jerks; I’m Team Cole! Cole joins Swagger in the ring and gets some huge heat. He says the special guest referee will be revealed on Monday Night RAW. After an ad break, we return to see this match-up begin. I’m sure it’ll be a short bout… Cole is fantastic on commentary here – words don’t do him justice. Needless to say, Swagger picks up a quick victory with the Ankle Lock. Your winner: Jack Swagger
Time for the contract signing. Yay! These are never very exciting. Although, if I remember correctly, Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels had an insanely intense contract signing during their ultra-hot 2008 feud. Alberto is out first here, and gives the microphone back to Ricardo Rodriguez who sings the Mexican national anthem. Edge’s music soon interrupts – tonight is not the night to attempt musical performances in the WWE. As both men sit down at the table, a ‘USA!’ chant rises from the crowd. Um, one is Canadian (and therefore awesome by default) and the other is Mexican. Unless this crowd is just overwhelmed by the presence of Teddy Long (and, really, who wouldn’t be?), they are being a bit silly here. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard the crowd chant that during a match between Edge and another non-American. Both men sign the contract, and a few seconds later… there goes the table. Damn. Edge lays Del Rio out with an Edgecution, then signals for the Spear. Ricardo Rodriguez causes a distraction, which lets Del Rio take control. He takes Edge’s bandaged arm, and locks in the Cross Armbreaker. He puts Edge’s arm inside a chair, and looks to ram him into the steel post, but Christian runs to the rescue. The show ends with Christian being dragged off of Del Rio by a number of referees.
That’s it for another week! Cheers for reading!
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