The torture that is Friday Night Smackdown has been lessened somewhat over the past little while… tonight may bring similar stories, or it might just nose-dive. You never can know with this show these days. It’s funny, for years Smackdown is where you went to watch matches in contrast to RAW being segment-heavy and dominated by self-serving power-brokers. Let’s see what the McMahon cohorts have in store for us tonight, shall we?

– Thank god for Christian. Captain Charisma is hosting his ever entertaining Peep Show. As he attempts to introduce his guest, he is interrupted by Alberto Del Rio’s personal announcer Herman Munster. Alberto drives up in his pimp-mobile. Christian is gold as usual as he shreds Alberto for being a potential flash in the pan, pointing out he has been around for a long time and has seen it all (references the Boogeyman and the Spirit Squad). Christian challenges Del Rio to any kind of competition Del Rio wants at Night of Champions. Alberto declines the offer, but he’ll think about it. Christian attempts to speed up the process by cheap shotting Alberto. Del Rio looks pissed, but walks up the ramp and says his answer is “no.”

This was my favorite wrestling gimmick that Christian has been around for…

– NON-TITLE MATCH: The Hart Dynasty {C} vs. Cody Rhodes and Drew McIntyre is up next. For the first segment, the Harts tend to have the upper hand, one of which comes from Natalya to the face of Cody Rhodes outside the ring. Ok action here… commercials… FFW!! During the ads, I am reminded that RAW will be in my hometown of Calgary, Alberta, Canada on October 18th. No, I don’t have tickets. I didn’t the last time either, I was a seat filler and got to watch the action and be onscreen the whole night. I am in the process of setting this deal up again, and if all goes as planned will post a sequel to the seat-filler experience.

I though about posting something funny here…

– We return with the heel team controlling now. Rhodes and McIntyre are a decent tandem. It’s a throw-together, but it works. Tyson plays the role of the isolated face in peril as the two heels trade turns dismantling him. This essentially plays to their favor, and the heels have earned an actual title shot at Night of Champions. I won’t be watching the PPV (which OF COURSE I would have paid for… snicker… snicker…) as I will be recording and playing in a jam with one of my boys from the old Vancouver band I was in back in the day. Word.

– Kofi cuts an okay (at best) promo on Ziggler and Vickie. It’s kind of bland, but does the job to reaffirm the I.C. title feud and build towards the rematch on Sunday.

– Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger. Wow, Swagger’s stock has certainly taken a nose dive. He’s put in the enhancement spot to establish Kofi’s strength. I smell a Ziggler run-in here and a post-match beat down. Hmm… here’s a good metaphorical animated gif of Swagger’s momentum as of late:

I wonder how Jack’s father is doing since he was used as a meat-shield a little while ago…

– Ol’ Swags isn’t getting squashed if he can help it, no sir. Both men are making each other look pretty good. They get the commercial break treatment as well. Nice long matches tonight. For a moment we get a closeup on Swags’ face and man, he looks tired. Not from the match, but in general! Not going to speculate here, just sayin’. Swagger is dominating using HEEL TACTICS!!!11!! The referee has to keep counting for illegal submissions, etc., as Jack tries to wear down Kingston. This does slow down momentum as we progress. WOW! There is a dual chant going for Swagger and Kofi within the crowd!!! That is the holy shit moment, because let’s be honest, Swagger’s shitty promos over the latter part of the summer killed his character… he’s doing something right for the people in attendance tonight.

– Keeping true to my write as I watch format, I was wrong. No run in during the match by Ziggler. Kofi manages to turn things around after with his Trouble in Paradise kick and picks up a pin. Clean win, decent match.

Marcus the PSP kid!

– We get to watch Hornswoggle go back to school since midgets are all children. Actually Teddy Long wants to get him to speak. Two weeks ago, Long enlisted a Child Psychologist to enact shock therapy on the little man. Think about that for a second. This time, both men are being instructed by a generic nun teacher, but the leprachaun’s pranks keep the nun frustrated even though she blames Teddy for paper airplanes and other garbage. I can’t believe I wasted the time to watch, or even type about this. Horrible segment.

Marcus the PSP kid!

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Firstly, if you boolean image search “Midget Funny” on Google, I advise you change your “safe search” settings. Secondly, this one looks a little bit like Jack Black… or so I think. You might think otherwise, but the problem with that is that you’re not me…. and I’m writing this, me being the ego-maniacal asshole that I am.

– Laycool vs. Kelly Kelly and Rosa Mendes is up next. Therefore FFW. I notice through the highspeed, that KKKelly’s NXT NXT NXT rookie rookie what’s-her-fuck is out. So is Kaval. WHY? WHY THE FUCK IS KAVAL STILL ACCOMPANYING LAYCOOL NXT 2 is OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STUPID… Laycool wins for anyone keeping score.

– We get a nice little highlight package showcasing the RAW title, and it’s history. It’s shilling the PPV, and the narrator reminds me of the computer from Resident Evil for some reason. But what’s cool is that even in this day of appealing to 12 year olds, old school guys like Andre and Bret Hart are featured.

– Speaking of LayCool, the two draw names to see who will defend their BFF Diva title at the PPV. Kaval is sadly there as well. McCool wins a “random” name drawing that is revealed to be fixed afterwards with all the names saying “Michelle.” Meh… hopefully this is the end of this team.

Are we finally free from the LayCool torture?

– CM Punk vs. Christian. Awesome in potential? Fuck yes. I am pretty intent on watching this match up more than writing things as I watch… Alberto Del Rio joins commentary… and things get underway. The first segment is a great display of action… you get every aspect of styles mixed fluidly and intelligently. Even more so, Del Rio tactfully does not try and detract from the action in the ring. I’ve been on the bandwagon for sometime now, but this just makes me respect the man even more so. We return from break and the clinic continues… Nothing short of excellent story telling IS the story. This match isn’t over, and I already recommend checking it out online somewhere. CM Punk hits a very stiff looking knee to the skull on Christian in the corner ropes, but Christian reverses moments later… Del Rio uses microphone skills to distract Christian allowing Punk to snag a Go To Sleep for the win. Post match, Del Rio enters with a chair and places in on the prone Christian’s throat… “My answer’s still no” he says as the Captain chokes. The Big Show runs in forcing Del Rio to flee. Show is here for Punk, however, and lays out He of the Straight Edge.

Fuck whatever… here’s another cool random animated gif.

– Hey it’s the talky-talky end to our show. Sigh. Kane will address the Taker storyline. He does… I guess… the crowd is booing on Kane, and I’m bored. Been there, done that. Thanks. Not to say they don’t give it the old college try, because they do. I guess since I know I won’t see the PPV this weekend, and this feud is as recycled as they come, I can hardly find myself giving a shit about it. Also, I want to go play Halo: Reach. Kane = Blah, blah, blah. Cue the Undertaker. Five hour entrance ensues. Lights go out during long long long long walk to the ring, Kane is suddenly behind Taker who uses zombie radar to detect him. Brawl. Brawl. FFW. Brawl. Kane hits a chokeslam and stands strong…

– The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out. Halo time.


Random Morphine Reference:


THE AVENGING LEAGUE OF SUPER BEST FRIENDS: THE TMNT DRAFT PART 1/2. For those reading this crap on Project Wonderboy, yes I shilled this last night on my iMPACT review. For those reading at Bored Wrestling Fan, go check out this fantasy draft of characters featured in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle universe.


Shameless Plugs!


Bored Wrestling Fan

Project Wonderboy

Morphine Nation

LarG Productions





  1. I loved Natalya slapping Cody Rhodes, and him completely losing his mind. "Not the face!!!" That bit has so much potential.

  2. You know, I agree! If they push his character that direction a little more so over-the-top, I think I would enjoy the gimmick more. I tend to bash Rhodes a little more than he deserves, and he has come a long way since his debut. I am cynical of his current persona due to the Ravishing Rick Rude character being the better and original version of what he is doing. Having him flip out over his appearance more often and more comically could be just what the doctor ordered. If the WWE had not banned it, this angle could've been used with an "ugly" opponent to build towards a First Blood Match (which Rhodes would be petrified of).

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