It’s the go home show before Bragging Rights – Does SmackDown Know the Enemy? Indeed, it’s RAW, and tonight the Monday Night superstars invade the Blue Brand! It’s Randy Orton vs. Kane in our Main Event tonight, and the two teams for Bragging Rights kick things off in the ring as Teddy Long presides over them.
It’s an elimination 7 on 7 match this Sunday at Bragging Rights. T-Lo won’t be making the matches tonight, the Superstars will, starting with The Miz. Miz says Long should thank him for allowing team RAW to grace the b-show with their presence. He’s already proven he can beat The Big Show, so tonight it’s a six-man tag featuring The Miz, Ezekiel Jackson, and Sheamus. Big Show says that’s not surprising. Miz is hiding behind two powerhouses, just like he hid behind Big Show in ShoMiz. He asks Miz if he still has a bedwetting problem. He picks Kofi Kingston and Rey Mysterio for his team, because when he’s in trouble, he doesn’t call 911, he calls 619. Edge decides he wants in, and he challenges CM Punk. John Morrison says “me too!” and chooses the best member of Menudo, Alberto Del Rio. Jack Swagger is disappointed that he doesn’t get a big selection. He picks the one guy whose finisher is worse than the Sharpshooter, Santino Marella. Long says it sounds good to him, so let’s kick things off with our six man tag team match.
Team SmackDown def Team RAW in a 6-man tag
Wow. It’s been a while since I’ve reviewed a show, and I have to start with a six-man tag? I enjoy a good clusterf**k as much as our resident SmackDown guru G does, but I’m not really up to keeping up with this. Team SmackDown sends Team RAW to regroup on the outside and we go to a…
Here’s two things I don’t get. Why is Kofi wearing red tights when he’s on the blue team? I know it’s his usual colors, but still, couldn’t he downplay it? And second, why is it that the Miz has the NHL style C on his RAW t-shirt but Big Show doesn’t have one on his? Team SmackDown is in trouble until Kingston gets the tag in to The Big Show, who dominates the entire team. Miz goes for a move off the top rope, but gets caught in a Big Show chokeslam. Show tags in Mysterio, lets him jump off of his shoulders onto The Miz and pick up the victory for Team SmackDown.
BTW, G sent along some thoughts on SmackDown, which I will share with you at the end of this article as bonus content.
Edge and CM Punk were just traded for each other a couple weeks ago, and they’ll face each other tonight!
Flashback: WWE Hell In A Cell: Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty assisted Wade Barrett in forcing John Cena to join The Nexus. In the weeks that follow on RAW, Cena is forced to take direction from Barrett by the RAW GM or face getting fired. Cena helps Barrett earn the number one contender’s spot for Randy Orton’s WWE Championship at Bragging Rights. Cena was then forced to watch as his Nexus brethren demolish Orton in the middle of the ring. Why Cena was so upset that his longtime rival was getting a beatdown in the middle of the ring, I have no idea.
Standing by is that tool, Josh Matthews, along with Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero. This past Monday, the United States Champion Daniel Bryan challenged Intercontinental Champion Ziggler to a match at Bragging Rights. Bryan then made Ziggler tap out in the Labelle Lock. Ziggler claims he was jumped from behind. He thought that Bryan was a fan wearing his dad’s old underwear and his grandfather’s beard. Bryan vs. Ziggler is like a high school football team facing the Super Bowl Champions, but at least the high school team has pads to protect them.
Jack Swagger makes his way to the ring with his eagle mascot. This is the first time I’ve watched SmackDown since it’s moved to SyFy, so this is the first time I’m seeing this stupid mascot. Swagger’s in action, NEXT!
Swagger and his mascot are doing pushups when we come back, but who cares – I haven’t gotten to say this in a while: It’s-a he! Santino! Hope we get to see the Cobra tonight!
Jack Swagger def. Santino Marella
The fans in Edmonton love Santino! Swagger wrestles Santino to the outside of the ring, and the Eagle tried to sneak up on him – but for some reason, Hornswoggle comes out to stop him. Back in the ring, Santino tries his best to outwrestle Swagger, but it doesn’t work. The Eagle tries to get involved again, but again Hornswoggle stops him, and allows Santino to nail the eagle with the Cobra. Hornswoggle nails the tadpole splash on the eagle. Back in the ring, Santino sets up for the Cobra, but Swagger catches him with the Ankle Lock for the tapout victory.
Hornswoggle chases Michael Cole from the announce table, and up next we’ve got Alberto Del Rio taking on John Morrison in more SmackDown vs. RAW action!
Dashing Cody Rhodes Grooming Tip: Use lip balm for dry, cracked lips. And sometimes you can use a moisturizing lip gloss. It’s rejuvenating and not just for the ladies.
Ricardo Rodriguez takes over for Tony Chimel and introduces Alberto Del Rio, who is driving a car with a really annoying horn. Hah! He even gets a gold name bar on the screen! I never noticed that before! The Edmonton fans aren’t too into Alberto, but they sure pop for his opponent, the Monday Night Delight, the Guru of Greatness, the Purveyor of Parkour (that one’s mine, like it?), John Morrison!
John Morrison vs. Alberto Del Rio
Todd Grisham points out to Michael Cole that SmackDown hasn’t lost a match yet tonight. JoMo kicks off the offense, but that doesn’t last too long before Del Rio turns the tide and slows the pace. Del Rio hits a northern lights suplex for a two count but he misses an enziguri. Morrison tries to take advantage with Starship Pain, but Del Rio gets his knees up. He takes advantage with his Fujiwara Armbar finisher for the victory. 3-0 SmackDown!
Up next, it’s RAW’s newest Superstar, CM Punk, taking on the man who he was traded there for, Edge!
WWE Rewind: Big Show and Edge won a SmackDown vs. RAW battle royal for the blue brand.
You think you know me….
The Rated R Superstar is wearing tights with red highlights along with his blue SmackDown t-shirt. I’d imagine that tonight at Bragging Rights, the whole team will have blue accents to their tights just like last year. It’s clobberin’ time, says CM Punk, who makes his way to the ring for this one, still accompanied by Straight Edge Society lighting.
Edge def. CM Punk via Disqualification
Punk starts of with a rear waist lock, but the Edmonton fans root fellow Canadian Edge back into the mix. Edge slaps on a headlock. Punk backs Edge into a corner, and when Edge allows a clean break, Punk rams his shoulders into his midsection. Punk goes for a submission hold of his own, but Edge drops down, causing Punk to jar his jaw. The pace finally starts to pick up, ever so slightly, and Punk starts to go to work on Edge’s midsection. Edge rolls out of the ring for a brief moment to recover as we head to a…
Punk has Edge in a body scissors – who had that in the “name the resthold” contest? Edge breaks out of the hold but Punk continues to attack the midsection of the Rated R Superstar. Punk goes for a springboard move but that provides an opening for Edge, who reverses it into a bodyslam. Both men are down as referee Charles Robinson counts to 7. I love the hockey reference from Matt Striker – but I know G mentioned it in his SmackDown thoughts, so I’ll save that for his section. Edge finally starts to mount a comeback, but Punk gets him up for a GTS – though Edge squirms out and drops Punk for a two. He charges in but Punk knees Edge in the midsection. Punk goes for a bulldog but Edge reverses into an impaler DDT for another two count. Edge climbs to the top, but Punk knocks him down. Edge avoids the Superplex and gets the crazy eyes. He hops down from the top rope, but before he can set up for the spear, The Miz and Alex Riley pull him out of the ring, getting Punk disqualified.
Kofi hits the ring and drops Riley with Trouble in Paradise. Miz nails Kofi with a Skull Crushing Finale, then gets attacked by Tyler Reks, who is then taken out by John Morrison, who is in turn taken out by Alberto Del Rio. Big Zeke takes out Del Rio, and is then taken out himself by Jack Swagger. Santino tries for the save but it thwarted, but Sheamus takes Swagger down with the brogue kick. Big Show hits the ring but he’s shut down by Ezekiel Jackson and Sheamus, but Rey Mysterio comes to stop them. CM Punk takes out Mysterio, but eats a spear from Edge to allow SmackDown to stand tall.
Still to come, WWE Champion Randy Orton takes on World Heavyweight Champion Kane in another SmackDown vs. RAW match.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK – who’s buying me Wrestling’s Highest Flyers?>
Oh my god. It’s LayCool dressed up as Natalya (with an Anvil beard) and Bret “Hitman” Hart. Michelle (as Bret Hart) calls Natalya a disgrace to the Hart legacy. Matt Striker points out, accurately, that Michelle looks like Otto from The Simpsons. Natalya and Kelly Kelly interrupt, and it’ll be Natalya vs. Layla at Bragging Rights for the WWE Divas Championship.
Natalya & Kelly Kelly def. LayCool
This gets confusing early on, because Layla makes a really good Natalya, believe it or not. Natalya allows herself to get distracted by Michelle bu not enough to cost her the match – she locks on the Sharpshooter and wins the match for her team without Kelly Kelly ever having to waste our time wrestling.
Natalya pulls the beard off Layla and we cut to a shot outside of a statue of Wayne Gretzky. Hooray! I get to use Wayne Gretzky as a search term for BWF!
We get a tale of the tape for the matchup between Orton and Kane that is still to come tonight.
Video: Stand up for WWE campaign.
The Big Red Monster Kane makes his way to the ring alongside his father, Paul Bearer. WWE has taken a cue from several National Hockey League arenas and is shooting video down to the canvas now (in Kane’s case, flames). The World Heavyweight Champion takes on the WWE Champion, NEXT!
Kane is staring up the ramp from the ring as we come back…
I hear voices in my head…
The WWE Champion, Randy Orton has three chances to impress Power Poll voters enough this week to put him back at the top – SmackDown vs. Kane, Bragging Rights vs. Wade Barrett, and then whatever he has going on for RAW on Monday. Let’s get started!
Randy Orton def. Kane
Striker says he wants to watch this as a fan – and so do I. I had the thought earlier about Undertaker possibly getting involved, but it just now hit me that Barrett and the Nexus could theoretically get involved as well. Kane starts off on offense early, going for a tombstone moments after the match starts, but Orton escapes and sets up for an RKO, but the Devil’s Favorite Demon escapes to the outside. Well, maybe “escapes” isn’t the word for it, as Orton follows him right out and continues his assault. Kane manages to turn the tide and then back on the outside he rams Orton’s back from the ring to the guardrail over and over again. Kane returns to the ring with Orton lying on the arena floor as we go to a…
Back in the ring, Kane is continuing to work over the back of the WWE Champion, as he has Orton in a bearhug. Orton gets out of the bearhug but the World Heavyweight Champion continues to dominate this match. He pulls Orton back to the outside and rams him once again spine first into the ring. Orton tries to mount a comeback but Kane catches him with a sidewalk slam for a two count. Kane climbs to the top rope, and he nails the flying clothesline. Orton again kicks out at two. Kane signals for the chokeslam, but Orton elbows his way out. Finally , Orton starts to build an offense over a now groggy Kane. Orton hits a scoop slam on Kane, who rolls to the apron – but is brought back in the hard way via an Orton DDT. The viper coils, but Kane shoves him off of an RKO attempt, booting Orton in the face and sending him down to the canvas. Kane goes for a chokeslam, but the bell tolls and the lights go out. When they come back on, Kane is looking up the ramp, and turns into an RKO – Randy Orton wins!
Orton leaves, and Kane spazzes out. He knocks the Bragging Rights trophy over and tears apart the announce table. He paces the ring, and the bell tolls again. Ominous sounds fill the arena as the deadman rises from the depths of hell, then pulls his brother down under the ring with him. Kane screams in terror as the lights go out once again. Bells toll as SmackDown goes off the air.
My thoughts: Ah, so that’s what it’s like to review a wrestling show again. It actually wasn’t that bad of a show either. I’m looking forward to Bragging Rights tonight. Not sure if I’m going to watch it live, but I think I might review it – I liked last year’s show, and think this is one of the better WWE PPVs of the year. Without further adieu, however, I’m going to shoot this over to our resident SmackDown reviewer, Gee Hall! Take it away, G!
SMACKDOWN BONUS CONTENT: G’S THOUGHTS
For what it’s worth, I would have loved to review Smackdown in the normal semi-live format I normally use. However, this requires that I have access to the internet while I review. Since my internet is not active, I have to adjust my style of writing. My spelling is rather impressive considering I just randomly mash my closed fists into the keyboard without any critical thought going towards my aim of attack.
So the following is some thoughts I had while watching Friday Night Smackdown live from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. I was born in that city, and the place my favorite hockey team in the NHL calls home.
Hey! I like the fact that the story has the wrestlers “booking” the matches tonight. That’s a pretty smart premise to build the always rushed feud between brands. There’s so many holes in the premise that either team even has a sense of solidarity to their show.
I am a little bitter Edmonton got Edge versus CM Punk over Calgary the night before. Also, Del Rio versus Morrison sounds pretty intriguing.
Also, everytime I see the “C” on the captain’s shirts, I keep thinking that these guys should not be wearing T-Shirts. They should be wearing JERSEYS. Listen, if you are going to borrow from professional sports by adding the C, you should go full tilt. While the Canadian bias in me leans towards hockey style jerseys, they would be best served resembling either football or baseball jerseys. On the side of timing, baseball jerseys would coincide nicely with the World Series and playoffs that dominate October. However, I would imagine the style of looser fitting football jerseys would cater better to professional wrestlers’ mobility.
With the dirt sheets a buzz about title unifications, the Dolph Ziggler and Daniel Bryan matchup seems to be leading to potential to lead to this happening in a feud. Here’s the thing. As a fan (and likely a bored wrestling fan…), who would you rather see unify the U.S. and I.C. titles?
Also, what do you call a unified belt? It can’t be the United States Intercontinental Championship. That doesn’t make a lick of sense. If you drop the I.C., you drop the WWE/WWF built title in favor of the WCW carry-over title. I can’t see that happening. You surely can’t call it the Global Championship to incorporate both parts of the Earth since that is more or less the same as the “World” title… and they currently have two of those, brand-wise, respectively.
Dude has a sign saying, “Alberto Get Out of Alberta” sign. He’s wearing an Edmonton Oilers jersey. Yes, I loved that. Albeit disagree with said individual’s opinion. Del Rio is a reason to watch WWE in any capacity these days. Sadly, us smark-a-zoids with keyboards residing in our matriach’s basements (casually watching while going on raids in WoW) keep purusing dirt sheet rumors that the guy is unhappy. God forbid he leaves the company…
Does CM Punk having high-light dye in his hair violate the policies of a “straight edge life-style”? Asthetics don’t count, I’m sure. I’ve always wondered about the Pepsi tattoo though, and the unavoidably obvious argument about caffeine.
During the Punk/Edge match, Michael Cole mentions using hockey references, and Striker interjects with:
“If Marty McSorely won’t come and beat you up, I’ll do it myself.”
Everyone in Mexico totally got that joke. They get their best ratings there, and this show is huge. As a Canadian, thank you WWE. I’m not even going to get picky about hockey smark stuff… just going to appreciate the moment.
Striker and Cole keep building animosity on commentary. It’s making Striker a face. And sir? I love this tandem. Matt Striker rules reacting to Cole’s evolving annoying heel persona. I actually didn’t mind him for a few minutes there…
Umm… Laycool dressed as Bret Hart and Natalya (with Anvil beard) was actually pretty funny. A throwback to the faction impression promo’s a la DX. I can’t believe I just typed that, but I did. My backspace key is broken (as well as the select-text/cut functions, etc., and so forth).
The best part was indeed the end where Natalya put the goatee on chin upon winning, shouting, “yeah baby!” Then they showed the statue of the Great One outside Rexall Place… because, well… awesome.
Going into the Kane/Orton match, all I can say is that I pine for the potential of a clusterfuck outcome. Being logical considering the premise of Sunday’s PPV. Strange that what should be a big match, doesn’t feel like one… because a clean win makes no sense to sell a show. Yawn. Undertaker magic! He comes up through the ring, and drags him into it! What would it even better, would have been if it was a nod to Johnny Depp’s death in the first Nightmare on Elmstreet and a ridiculous amount of blood shot up too! Ha ha… that was a great ending.
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