Friday Night Suffering Time! Yay! Well, all I can say is that Nexus invades (again) tonight. Not sure why, I missed something, but they do. Let’s find out if they explain this thing…

Oh, and I finally got Gif Soup to work for me, so I made my first ever animated gif:

Who needs pants anyways….

– * Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio. We jump right into the action… as Alberto’s personal ring announcer goes to introduce his guy, Edge stares him down and right out of the ring. The crowd puts Edge over, as his ongoing tweener status continues. They pace the match nicely to start us off, and as we hit the commercial break for segment 1, this is an enjoyable contest. This is a pretty fun match! These two both demonstrate a diverse array of technical prowess and mix up the action amidst sans garbage wrestling.

– Even though Pee Wee was on RAW, I think the word of the day seems to be “sans.”

– Just before Edge can land a spear, the Nexus runs in and interferes… overwhelming all two of them. Otunga cuts a quick promo since the group is sans Wade Barrett, telling us they’re taking over. Big Show brings out Kane and Rey Mysterio, regrouping with Edge and Del Rio. Take a wild guess what our main event (or a match later) will be? Great match, shitty ending? Nope…. I dig this.

I also loved how enthusiastic Heath Slater was running in, vaulting off the ring steps and sticking his arms out like a plane. Brilliant! Second animated gif…

– Teddy Long comes out and makes the match official. Commentary on where Wade Barrett is, and then Dolph Ziggler comes out. * Non-Title Match: Dolph Ziggler {C} vs. JTG. Hey JTG still has a job? I wonder if this is his swan song match like many future endeavored wrestlers get before… well… you know. I like JTG, racist stereotype or not, he can go. The two waste no time and it seems to be a Dolph squash match… yep, Dolph locks in a sleeper hold and ends it a couple minutes in. Kaitlyn comes out, as does Vickie continuing this soap opera. More meh. Sans interest.

What started off looking good, became a wash out here.

– Vickie shrieks and whatnot to Teddy Long wanting justice with Kaitlyn, so he books a match. Meanwhile, backstage Nexus is swarming Rey Mysterio.

– Josh Matthews asks Nexus backstage why they attacked Rey Mysterio. Their answer? “Because we can.” Awesome.

– * #1 Contender IC Title Match: Cody Rhodes vs. MVP vs. Drew McIntyre. It’s confusing to start, as it usually is with triple threats. You’d think there would be more to the story here with Rhodes and McIntyre being recent tag champs, but since they threw these guys together as “filler” for a month or so, it doesn’t seem very dramatic. These are the moments I appreciate TNA for actually HAVING a tag team division with actual tag teams. But it seems all of us smarks rant about this everywhere and every week. McIntyre is the first to turn on his former partner. The match picks up a little steam in our second segment as Rhodes becomes the epitome heel, controlling the flow and placing McIntyre into an anti-hero of sorts. Allowing fatigue to set in usually cleans up triple threats (sans complaining about the third man out having a nap at ring side while the other two grapple for a couple minutes, then switch). We hit our climax with all men having brief moments of dominance and trading finishing moves… you know the usual format. MVP hits killed by a clothesline that looked like AWESOME, but after some more reversals MVP kicks McIntyre’s head off his shoulders while he lay prone, as if to take a 619 from Rey Mysterio. “A kick right to THE DOME of Drew McIntyre!” bellows Matt Striker. That was sick.


G: “Hey Spanky, the Christmas Dog! What did you think of that last triple threat match?”



Spanky (the Brian Kendrick the Christmas Dog): “I thought it fucking sucked! Wrestling is for wankers!”

G: “Wow. For a dog embodying the holidays, you’re one angry bastard. It wasn’t that bad… just awkward at moments.”


– Speaking of Rey, Kofi will replace Rey in the five man tag match thingy with Nexus.

– Speaking of matches that “fucking suck,” next is * Vickie Guerrero vs. Kaitlyn. FFW like no tomorrow.

– Speaking of FFW, here’s a high speed rendition of the Simpsons Tree House of Horror XIV, with Homer as the Grim Reaper:

Speaking of Tree House of Horrors, the new Simpsons Halloween episode airs this Sunday. I made this one too.

– What was I doing again? Ha ha… man, making ani-gif’s is fun now that it almost always works. Backstage Kaval is chatting with MVP, and then Nexus attacks! SWARM! BEATDOWN LIKE TOUGH GUYS! NUMBERS GAME! Both Kaval and MVP are left lying as we get to the matchup everybody is waiting to see!!! YES, it’s a juice pig versus a smoked-out stoner nobody! YEAH!! Oh my bad, it’s actually:

* Tyler Reks vs. Chris Masters. Do I have to watch this garbage? Where’s my paycheck?

– No wait… not my bad. Same thing, right? It’s a match, you could call it that, and it surprised me a little in that it didn’t suck that hard. It’s probably not worth your time to watch. Reks wins with a finisher that resembles a lazy looking FU/F5/Attitude Adjustment. More or less, he sets the Masters up on his shoulders and kind of flips him and lets gravity do the work. Put some slam power into it, and it might work better. Otherwise Rek your momentum.

– This the best finisher though… well… for the other guy:


– * Nexus (Otunga, Slater, Gabriel, Harris & McGillicutty) vs. Edge, Alberto Del Rio, Big Show, Kofi Kingston and Kane. Looks like they are giving this main event a half an hour sans entrances and advertising time? Nice. This is key since we lose 12 minutes to the latter mentioned. Kofi and Mr. Perfect Jr. start things off. Many tags follow… and we get some Mike Rotunda Jr. Nepotism? Maybe, but I have enjoyed watching both of these two over the last half a year. Nexus looks pretty good as a whole, but I thought I would point towards the efforts of our latest inductees into the rookie Nexus gang.

– I realize the misuse of the title, “Junior.”

– As we enter our final segment of the show, Kofi Kingston hits an incredibly high vertical jump, and lands a cross body splash on Heath Slater. Wow! That was an incredible jump! A bunch of highspots ensue shortly after, but none as impressive. Athleticism. Nexus plays the isolate one face wrestler stategy with Kofi for minutes after. And, being the fine grappler he is, Kingston sells excellently and makes the faction look powerful. Eventually, Kofi gets his boys back in the game, and we see the typical face power boost attack… clusterfuckage and Kane implodes attacking fellow teammate the Big Show with a chokeslam. Edge fights everybody, including Kane, but also grabs a pin on Otunga to pick up the win for the Smackdown misfit team.

– I had fun making animated gifs tonight, even though much of the show was pretty “turrible” from Vickie until the final twenty minutes of the show. I want to be able to do these stunts just as good as I saw them tonight, I’m looking all over the place for a vert shock program discount, I really want to learn to jump way higher than people expect is possible! Maybe, one day.

– The WWE logo comes up, this review is sans G.


Micheal Cole is still on Smackdown… Grisham is still in McMahon’s doghouse, I guess.


Shameless Plugs!


Bored Wrestling Fan
A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan

The Cultural Revolution (TCR Comix)
Al Creed’s political humour comics dominate tongue and cheek humour here

Project Wonderboy
A site dedicated to pop culture and media. From film to video games, MMA to hockey, and so forth.

Morphine Nation
An off-the-cuff, non-PC humour website. Originally founded by Destructoid’s Jim Sterling, the Morphine Nation provides a haven for content and criticism.

A weekly podcast about the world of video games, from player experiences to current events in the industry, Bruce McGee, Pat Man, and Gun Sage provide insight into the medium for any gamer (whether casual or “pro”).

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.


  1. Damn the pants!

    Long story. When my brother played Little John at the Renaissance Faire, the Sheriff of Nottingham's new costume pants ripped right after he got them. The group made a whole gag out of it by wrapping his lower body in the Robin Hood company flag and marching him at sword point across the faire site to get them fixed. He would shout, "For the love of God, man! I have no pants!" The Robin Hood group would then sing, "The Sheriff has no pants, the Sheriff has no pants, hi ho the merry oh, the Sheriff has no pants!" The use of the phrase "Damn the pants!" became part of our collective vernacular.

    But I digress. Your column reminded me of those days. 😛

  2. "Because we can" was the quasi-catchphrase of Team 3D back in 2006/7 when they were out to destroy the X-Division. I honestly expected to see it on a shirt, it was used so often. "Why do we want to destroy the X-Division? Because we can." I'm not saying that it was ripped off, or that it wasn't perfectly good when Nexus said it, but as soon as Otunga said it, I heard Brother Ray's voice.

    That MVP kick to McIntyre's head was indeed SICK! One thing that I hated was that everything that the announce team said about Tyler Reks was the same stuff that was said about Drew McIntyre earlier this year. Tyler Reks does nothing for me, and I hate that he seems to be stepping into the role that McIntyre never really got to run with before Vince stepped in and stole his heat for himself with all the notes and excuses and reboots of win/loss records. You can't really have two guys on the same show filling the same role, and McIntyre is just better. "Rob Zombie on steroids" has yet to impress me. He's just another big guy.

  3. So many comments Drow! 🙂

    I enjoyed the anecdote about the Sheriff and his pants. That sounds like a pretty funny moment. And hey, if it gave you a chuckle, I'm all for that! 🙂 I've never been to Renaissance Faire in character. I had the opportunity to meander through one in childhood once in Hamilton while visiting some relatives. One of these days, I'd like to bounce into an event.

    Good call with the Team 3D phrase. I remember this now that you point it out. To be honest, I would hate to see Otunga (or Nexus for that matter) use "Because we can," on a regular basis. As a one-off retort in that particular scene/segment, it was a perfect response for the heels. Especially considering Nexus' presence wasn't clearly explained. Hence, their vigilant attitude to ignore brand exclusivity is strengthened by comments like this. On the same token, if it does stick as a catchphrase, we certainly have one of those moments where WWE did copy TNA, not the other way around!

    I want Reks to be good. Just like I want any new grappler who appears on my television screen to be good. But as you've noted, yeah they are shilling him just like McIntyre. It's their cookie cutter model, which I think always seems to fail. I guess I can't really say Reks got an opportunity with the WWECW as his tenure there was while that brand was on it's last legs. If he falls into an talent enhancement role a la Vance Archer, I won't shed a tear. There's thousands of workers who would kill for the opportunity he has. Perhaps he is handcuffed by the Fed' with moveset limitations and character…. I don't know. He's indeed just another generic big guy.

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