With Survivor Series on Sunday, this is Smackdown’s last chance to add some fuel to the fire and generate some buys. After the Old School RAW on Monday, most of the card was flushed out. Are there any loose strings? Perhaps. Also, we have some future endeavors to discuss briefly after the jump.

“Author’s” Note: The weather here is utterly horrible with icy roads and feet of snow. As a result, both of my jobs end up being much longer than normal. I’m really tired, and will do what I can to remain coherent in the review and suffrage that is Smackdown. Well…. less coherent than normal, which doesn’t say much….

World Wrestling Entertainment has come to terms on the release of WWE Superstars Shad Gaspard, Luke Gallows, Vance Archer and Caylen Croft and WWE Divas Tiffany and Jillian Hall as of November 19, 2010. WWE wishes them the best in all future endeavors.

– This has been floating around the interwebs for much of the day, so for most smarks, it has already become old news. I can’t say I will miss any of these people. Well, maybe Caylen Croft who seemed to have some potential in the ring (even while paired with the abysmal Vance Archer).

– Vince McMahon resigned a 3 year contract to remain in his position today. It is a rather funny thought he has to do this, but after all, it is a publicly traded company that is accountable to it’s share holders… so it makes sense. It’s just one of those kayfabe-reality moments for those of us inundated by the McMahon power persona of the last 13 – 14 years or so. And perhaps to add a level of equality amongst talent, his contract includes a ONE YEAR no-compete-clause. Source.

– Del Rio’s most excellent ring entrance… I hear the guy who plays his personal ring announcer recently got a developmental contract. He was working on a show by show basis prior. “Finally after 24 years, Survivor Series is going to… be… great!” utters Del Rio, of course making reference to his first time to the rodeo. We are shown a clip of his win over G.I. Joe Alumni, Srgt. Slaughter. What an excellent RAW.

He’ll fight for anything, as long as he’s paid well… G.I. Joe is there!

– Out comes MVP, who gets up in Del Rio’s face about disrespecting the legends that built this city (on rock and roll, naturally). Del Rio has a great response, insinuating that the reason MVP defends the legends because “[He’ll] never be one of them.” Heeltastic! Unfortunately, Alberto is facing Rey later, and MVP is facing Drew McIntyre NOW! They start things off, and we cut to commercials…

G @SpankytheChristmasDog: “Hey Spanks, what did you think of that Old School RAW? I loved every minute of it! :)”

It sucked. And don’t emoticon shit at me. Nerd.

G @SpankytheChristmasDog: “You’re one angry bastard for an X-mas dog, Dog Gammit! Whatever… happy holidays or something.”

– We return to REST HOLDS! Yay. These two tend to end up in these sort of slow pacing matches. I knock it often, because my attention span i..wqlj.wer.,.

– HEY LOOK! Shiny things! Some guy in the audience has a replica belt! I wonder if I bought a WWE replica Money in the Bank suitcase from the merch table, if I could challenge anyone in the crowd at anytime for their belt?

– The match ends mercifully quick here, as MVP takes out Drew clean for a pin. The lands a really devastating looking kick to the back of Drew’s head.

– We see Edge discussing his plans, seemingly to himself. But no, he still has Paul Bearer kidnapped, ducttaped mouth, tied to a wheel chair. Edge starts to rave to Paul… It involves a twisted dramatic moment where Edge has a wheelchair race (well more of a “time trial” as Paul can’t move). I realize it sounds like this segment is cheesy bad, but I kid you not when I say Edge makes it pretty fucking sadistic and dramatic. Well done Mr. Copeland! He closes with “I just think I had a better idea…”

– Chavo and Teddy Long are interrupted by an angry Kane. Kane comes in distraught looking for Paul Bearer. Teddy doesn’t know, so Kane destroys the office. This served the purpose the storyline needs.

– * Jack Swagger vs. Chris Masters. Fuck no, FFW this for sure.

I want to try this.

– This goes nowhere… until later in the match where Swagger works Master’s ankle into the ring post, then slaps the Angle Lock on, to submit Masters.

– Back to Crazy, Crazy Edge and his best friend Abductee Paul Bearer. Edge is now going to play a game of Dodgeball with Bearer… THIS SEGMENT WAS GREAT! Edge is on fire as of late with his vignettes. Bearer should be given credit as well. While it might not be the hardest acting job in the world to play the abducted character, Kudos!

– * Non-Title Match: Dolph Ziggler {C} vs. Kaval. I am concerned as this starts… Kaval is certainly getting the “McMahon Treatment” when it comes to his push. I’m not going to bother getting into the ex-TNA conspiracy here. Dolph reminds us he took out Sexual Chocolate Mark Henry on RAW. Then runs down Kaval and his “fanboys.” Cole more or less makes the same argument against Kaval he does of Daniel Bryan. Cole complains about the internet and the indies, etc.

– Because there is a wrestling god smiling upon me (and maybe you), Kaval picks up the win. The match ends in a series of decently executed catch-as-can rollups, into near falls, etc. Kaval cuts a quick promo about him winning NXT Season 2, and he is cashing in his title opportunity at a PPV on Ziggler.

– Good: Kaval on a PPV.
– Bad: It’ll get little time.

Bad guys win. Hence, logical fail. Meh.

– Back to Good Times w/ Edge and Paul! You should just go YouTube these segments, as they are best told via performance.

– * Cody Rhodes vs. Kofi Kingston. Notable: Just prior the first break, Cody takes a hit to the face, then leaves the ring to check the mirror on the back of his jacket to make sure he looks ok! THAT was the first time he sold me on his Rick Martel/Rick Rude/Test/etc. pretty boy shtick in a while.

– This is actually a good match. Fatigue allowed me to focus on only one thing here, the match. Cody picks up the win. More Kane stuff afterwards.

– * LayCool vs. Kelly Kelly & Natalya (from Calgary, Alberta, Canada). I came to see Natalya. Otherwise, this match would have only existed in the Fast Foward Zone. It would only have been a moment of your time as this disolves instantly into LayCool winning.

Rod Sterling ruled.

BACK TO EDGE AND HIS KIDNAPPING EXTRAVAGANZA!! This time he is eating a super pizza combo meal in front of a hungry Paul Bearer. Bread sticks, Marinara Sauce (to the head), Brownies smeared, a platter of hot wings tossed onto his lap. Pepperoni pizza to the head. Then he takes him on a “road trip” in the wheel chair. You know what I deliver in my car at night in the shitty weather conditions I referred to at the start of this article? Pizza dude G, right?

– Next up, Kane flips out again. Backstage, crying in grief. WELL….

– * Big Show vs. Tyler Reks. Reks is given some early offence. Nothing worth writing about. Wait… what? But it’s not much longer than a cup of coffee. Show, chokeslam, win. WELL….

– Another slough of advertainment rapes the show for approx…. I dunno. Lots? I totally time travel during it, go back… way back. Enough time to write this bullshit. See, I watch some cavegirl pole dance. Get old, grow a sweet old man beard, and then invent the fucking wheel. Good times. Evidence below:

Because THAT’S how I roll.

– Edge has finally arrived at the arena with Paul Bearer (still covered in food). Kane runs down hallways in search of him and finds Paul strapped into a van. He asks Paul where Edge is. Paul tries to tell him. KANE DOES NOT TAKE THE DUCT TAPE OFF PAUL’S MOUTH! NO! I don’t understand why Kane wouldn’t just take the tape off because after some random wandering, Edge appears atop the van, jump attacks Kane off of it and drives off threatening to toss Paul into a body of water? Crazy shit. Kane made a duct-tape-fail.


– * Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio. It’s more of a tease, but still fun. Eventually the two teams of Del Rio and Mysterio respectively run in and it becomes sheer chaos. Teddy Long will have none of it. Long makes it a 10 Man Survivor Series Show Down Battle Royal.

– I enjoyed this clusterfuck, as I tend to do. And… while this is a fun contest, it really doesn’t make any sense. The teams enter a free for all match. Rey Mysterio and Big Show come out on top representing their team for a match that we kind of just saw right now… THIS SUNDAY (but you have to pay for it).

– No real solidarity has been formed between teammates for the PPV match. And instead of building that, we see them fight each other. So, therefore, which wrestler really cares whose team wins at Survivor Series? What is their motivation to team together anyways? And, thus, then why should the fans care? What a waste of the premise of the PPV in question. And it’s odd, since this company has made an effort to alter most of their PPV’s to exploit various gimmick matches. They just shilled “Old School” on Monday, and yet they totally dropped the ball to build Survivor Series “Old School” gimmicks here. Wow.

– The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.


Shameless Plugs!


Bored Wrestling Fan
A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan

The Cultural Revolution (TCR Comix)
Al Creed’s political humour comics dominate tongue and cheek humour here

Project Wonderboy
A site dedicated to pop culture and media. From film to video games, MMA to hockey, and so forth.

Morphine Nation
An off-the-cuff, non-PC humour website. Originally founded by Destructoid’s Jim Sterling, the Morphine Nation provides a haven for content and criticism.

A weekly podcast about the world of video games, from player experiences to current events in the industry, Bruce McGee, Pat Man, and Gun Sage provide insight into the medium for any gamer (whether casual or “pro”).

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.

1 Comment

  1. There is no limit to the awesome that is Edge. You're absolutely right about how he took a very cheesy segment concept and made it creepy and sadistic. He's growing out the mountain man beard again, so you know what that means. "Heeltastic" is my new favorite word. Poor Drew McIntyre. Considering how he started out, this is shameful. I care nothing for Rob-Zombie-on-roids Tyler Reks.

    I understand your point about Kaval cashing in his title shot on a secondary title, but I must respectfully disagree. Both World title pictures are carved in stone right now. Even if they weren't, no one would ever believe that Kaval had a chance to win the top title. The IC title has often showcased the better WRESTLER than the World title, and we can all name IC title feuds that were more compelling than the World title feuds that happened at the same time. With the history and prestige of the IC title, I think it's great that Kaval is going after it, secondary title or not, and he just might have a shot at winning it. Ziggler has had it for a while now, and has already had feuds with Kofi, Morrison, and a few others. Why not Kaval?

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