Alright, I watched SmackDown last night, and don’t feel like watching it over again to review it, so we’re gonna wing it – like this week’s ECW review, but better. I know, I know, you’re all wondering, “Why didn’t you just review the show while you were watching it?” Well, I’ll tell you why. Because I’m f#$%ing lazy, that’s why!
So, put the blue ropes on the ring, paint your face up all wacky, steal a Heavyweight Championship, and job to Kung Fu Naki, it’s time for SmackDown!
After the jump, of course!
John Cena promised to show up on SmackDown, and he did. He confused JR for Michael Cole, made some other stupid SmackDown jokes, and challenged Edge to a World Heavyweight Championship match – TONIGHT! Edge comes out and says he’s on! Unfortunately for the two of them, Vickie Guerrero excuses herself (and probably JT, who seems to burp an awful lot) and tells them that Edge will not be competing. Instead, since Cena showed up for a special appearance on SmackDown, he can still have a match – against The Big Show.
Primo & Carlito def. Miz & Morrison to retain the WWE Tag Team Championships
I’m going to go out on a limb here. In the five weeks between now and WrestleMania, we’re going to see Miz vs. Primo, Morrison vs. Carlito, Miz vs. Carlito, Morrison vs. Primo, and Miz & Morrison vs. Primo & Carlito for the World Tag Team Championships. Then at WrestleMania, we’re going to see a match between the two teams for the Undisputed Tag Team Championships. That’s how these things work, right? Primo & Carlito got the clean win in a hard fought matchup, despite looking like Miz and Morrison’s bitches for the past month and a half. After the match, they leave with the Bellas.
Ricky Steamboat is getting inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame! (This is the third time the video’s aired this week, and the first time I’ve seen it. Congrats, Ricky!)
RAW: Triple H tricked Legacy into thinking he didn’t have a sledgehammer, and hilarity ensued. At least, that’s what I got from the clip I saw here.
Vladimir Kozlov def. The Undertaker
Look, there’s a reason why this match was on SmackDown 37 days before WrestleMania. That reason is that this match won’t be on WrestleMania. I don’t think we’ll see a fatal four way, and most likely not a tag team match either – it’s going to be, or at least should be, HBK vs. The Undertaker. Kozlov picking up the win here makes him look strong going into his match with Shawn Michaels this Monday on RAW, but we’ll have to see how the Showstopper fares against the Moscow Mauler.
Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy
Alright! The match they’ve been promoting all week! Guess what – it didn’t happen. Bret Undertaker Jeff came out in street clothes to confront Owen Kane Matt, telling him he’ll never fight him. Matt slapped Jeff numerous times, but the younger Hardy turned the other cheek and walked away.
WrestleMania Moment: Randy Savage wins the WWE Championship at WrestleMania IV, but loses it one year later to the Hulkster at WrestleMania V.
Chavo Guerrero def. Shelton Benjamin
MVP was out at ringside doing guest commentary. Shelton thought he’d be clever and throw Chavo at MVP. Benjamin rolled Guerrero back into the ring, but couldn’t take his eyes off of MVP. This ended up costing him as Chavo rolled him up for the pin.
Big Show def. John Cena
Cena looked strong in this match, but in the end, a distraction by Edge got Cena hit with a Big Show Chokeslam. Edge stood tall over Cena to end the show.
My thoughts: It was pretty enjoyable. I had a good time watching it. Nothing really stands out about it, but it served it’s purpose. Hopefully by this time next week we’ll be ready to announce some actual matches for the 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania.
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