You know how we do Friday Nights around here – quick results, followed by detailed results, so keep your refresh button handy, because it’s time for SmackDown in real-time on BoredWrestlingFan.com!
Undertaker tells Vickie Guerrero she’ll burn in hell.
K-Kwik R-Truth def. Kenny Dykstra via pinfall.
Maryse & Natalya def. Maria & Michelle via pinfall.
Jeff Hardy def. MVP via pinfall. After the match, both men were hit with Pay Dirt by Shelton Benjamin.
Hawkins & Ryder vs. Jesse & Festus went to a no contest when The Big Show beat up both teams.
Brie Bella def. Victoria via pinfall.
Triple H def. Shelton Benjamin via pinfall.
The Undertaker makes his way to the ring to kick off the broadcast. He says that Vickie Guerrero will be Unforgiven for all of her sins, since he’s not the forgiving kind. He’ll be coming for her and her soul, and once he takes it, she’ll burn in hell. He does his down on one knee pose (grunting in pain, apparently as he knelt) as flames burst out of the ring posts. La Familia abandons Vickie in her office, and she can’t escape as the door somehow managed to lock itself shut. The Undertaker heads towards the back…
Later tonight, Jeff Hardy takes on MVP in a SummerSlam rematch, and US Champion Shelton Benjamin takes on WWE Champion Triple H in a non-title match.
We get an R-Truth promo… wasn’t he supposed to debut this week?
R-Truth def. Kenny Dykstra
That answers that question. Let’s get ROWDY! But first – Kenny’s bitching about the company not caring about him. He says Truth is nothing but a convict. Kenny didn’t get any promos, he can barely get on SmackDown. WWE needs to focus on building around Kenny Dykstra, not people like R-Truth. Now that is the truth (Dykstra’s words, not mine). Anyways, I’m sure you can guess that this is the part where Kenny is going to do the J-O-B to the new guy. Not that Dykstra isn’t holding his own. R-Truth makes some funny faces when he’s on the defensive. Luckily he doesn’t stay on the defensive very long. He steals Booker T’s scizzors kick and picks up the victory over Kenny.
Maryse interrupts a Michelle McCool photo shoot, and tells her that the WWE Diva’s Championship will look better around her waist than Michelle’s. Michelle says it won’t happen, because Maryse doesn’t have talent. Maryse says Michelle doesn’t have her looks, and soon, she won’t have her title either.
WWE Rewind: Natalya destroys Maria last week off of a distraction by Maryse, who beats the crap out of Maria, who gets saved by Michelle McCool.
Maryse & Natalya def. Michelle McCool & Maria
Michelle and Natalya kick things off, and it’s a back and forth affair. Michelle gets the tag to Maria, who manages to hold her own against the much stronger Natalya. Maryse gets tagged in, and things are pretty even until Natalya kicks Maria in the back as she’s running off the ropes, distracting her long enough for Maryse to nail a DDT to pickup the victory.
After the match, Maryse and Michelle have themselves a good ol’ fashioned catfight before Natalya comes in to assist Maryse, who decks McCool with a right hand.
Later tonight, Jeff Hardy takes on MVP. We get a video package of their rivalry.
Backstage, Eve is with Jeff Hardy. He says that MVP is just another obstacle in his way to become WWE Champion, and come Unforgiven, there’s nothing MVP can do to stop him. Tonight, it’s going to be MVP looking up at the lights.
We come back to a rundown of the ridiculously inane Championship Scramble rules.
Still to come, Triple H vs. Shelton Benjamin.
Vickie Guerrero is still trapped by herself in her office, and apparently her phone is dead.
Jeff Hardy def. MVP
For the second straight week, MVP gets his full entrance. The match starts off as a shoving match, but Hardy quickly locks in a headlock, and MVP can’t seem to break out of it. When he finally does, Hardy takes him down with a couple shoulder blocks, and Jeff completely dominates the opening part of this matchup, frustrating MVP, who rolls out of the ring for a breather. Back inside, he finds himself back in a headlock. Jeff maintains control of this one – he’s not overly dominating, but he’s keeping MVP out of his game nonetheless. Hardy starts to focus on the left arm of MVP, wrenching it, ramming it into the ringpost, jumping on it. MVP heads back outside to regroup, but gets caught with a high risk move from the apron, which sends us to a commercial break. We’re back in the ring when we come back, and MVP is still getting his arm destroyed by Jeff Hardy. He manages to create some separation by pulling Hardy face-first into the turnbuckle. MVP wastes no time taking advantage, using kicks to send Hardy to the outside, then dropping him across the guardrail. He gets Hardy back in the ring, and continues his offense, even getting a couple of two counts before locking in a submission. In a rare showing of strength from the younger Hardy, he picks MVP up and slams him to the canvas to break the hold. Jeff connects with his dropkick to the corner thing, followed by his sitout suplex. He goes for the Swanton, but MVP gets his knees up. MVP starts working over Hardy again, once again getting a two count off of some aggressive offense. He continues to use high impact moves, and takes some time to taunt Hardy before locking in a Camel Clutch. Jeff manages to get to the ropes, but MVP stays on the offense. MVP starts getting frustrated by not being able to put Hardy away, which allows Hardy to start fighting back – though it didn’t last long, as MVP took Hardy over with his own momentum. Jeff does start to battle back, but gets chop blocked off the turnbuckle on a Whisper in the Wind attempt, which sends him crashing head first into the match in a scary looking spot. MVP got a two count, then tried for a back superplex, which Jeff managed to erverse into a cross body of sorts, getting two. MVP goes for the driveby kick, but Hardy catches him with a clothesline. Hardy finally nails the Whisper in the Wind, follwed by the Swanton Bomb, and finally gets the three. What a match!
After the match, Shelton Benjamin comes down and drops Hardy with Pay Dirt. As MVP is standing around congratulating him, Benjamin drops him with Pay Dirt as well. After a great match between Jeff Hardy and MVP, it’s The Gold Standard, The US Champion Shelton Benjamin standing tall. Will that be the case later on tonight when Benjamin takes on WWE Champion Triple H? Stay tuned!
The Pittsburgh Steelers are in the front row. Meanwhile, Candice & Josh Matthews are still at the DNC, even though it’s over.
BISCUITS AND GRAVY!
Jesse & Festus vs. Hawkins & Ryder in a non-title match went to a no-contest.
JR helpfully reminds me that Kurt Hawkins is the one in the short tights as they get tossed from the ring by Festus. Didn’t matter though, The Big Show came down and decimated three of the four men. Festus just kinda stood outside after the bell rang.
Show says “Hi!” He says there’s some confusion, since Vickie Guerrero has been under a lot of pressure and overlooking certain superstars. Show says he’ll never be overlooked again. As far as what just happened, “my bad. Oops! Let’s just call it… an oversight.” Show smiles and slaps hands with the fans on his way back to the locker room.
Vickie is still trapped in her office when we come back. She’s kinda just standing there looking around. Seriously. That’s it.
Brie Bella def. Victoria
Brie Bella is one half of FCW’s Bella Twins. Tazz makes sure to note that she’s very HD friendly. This is a slow paced matchup to start, but it goes back and forth, with Bella getting the the better of more of the exchanges. Victoria gets a two count off of a backbreaker, and then starts to go after the back of the newcomer. She hits a standing moonsault for about a 1 1/2 count. Victoria kicks Bella out of the ring, and Bella tries to hide under the ring. Victoria drags her out, and rolls her back into the ring, but when she tries for a pin, Brie rolls her up for the victory!
RAW Rebound: John Cena’s injured, Rey Mysterio is taking his place at Unforgiven.
Still to come: US Champion Shelton Benjamin takes on WWE Champion Triple H.
The Brian Kendrick says that last week he won the biggest match of his career so far. This week, The Brian Kendrick isn’t going to wrestle – he’s going to let his Unforgiven opponents beat the holy hell out of each other. He’s studying “The Art of War.” He says it’s about the war, not the battles – There’s a fine line between genius and insanity, and if you can walk that line, you’ve got the advantage. Or something like that.
JR and Tazz tell us that they doubled NASCAR’s audience last week. Boy, I bet that was hard. They then run down the Unforgiven card so far.
In the words of JT, “it’s Game time, bitches!”
WWE Slam of the Week: Jeff Hardy beats The Great Khali thanks to a distraction and chairshot by Triple H.
Shelton Benjamin says he’s the most precious commodity in the WWE. After all of that, he finally makes his way to the ring for this match. Then we get a replay of him taking out MVP and Jeff Hardy earlier.
WWE Champion Triple H def. US Champion Shelton Benjamin via pinfall
An eternity after Triple H made his way to the ring, this match starts. It starts off slowly. It’s a back and forth battle, believe it or not, and as the pace starts to pick up, it starts to favor The Gold Standard. The Game doesn’t back down, however. He starts to mount a comeback. The pace slows down and Triple H takes over. The pace picks back up, and Benjamin takes over. Yes, it’s that entertaining. Triple H goes for the Pedigree at one point, but Benjamin escapes, sending us into a commercial break. When we come back, Triple H is down on the outside, and Benjamin is aggressively attacking the WWE Champion. Utilizing submission holds, Benjamin stays on the offense. Finally, Triple H breaks out of one of Benjamin’s holds, and as Benjamin rushed in on Triple H in the corner, he caught a boot to the face. Didn’t take long for Benjamin to come back, though, hitting a Stinger Splash in the corner, but he misses on a second attempt, giving The Game a second to recover. Both men get up at the same time, and Triple H comes to life, taking Benjamin down with a high knee and a powerslam for two. Benjamin goes for the dragon whip kick, but Triple H ducks, hitting a DDT for a damned close two count. Triple H ducks a Benjamin clothesline, and Benjamin kicks him in the face. The Game manages to survive though, hitting a spinebuster before going for a Pedigree, which Benjamin again escapes, turning it into a wicked backbreaker for a two count. Benjamin whips Triple H into the ropes, and gets hit with a facebuster for his troubles. That’s when The Great Khali and Ranjin Singh make their way down the aisle. Benjamin tries to take advantage and hit Pay Dirt, but The Game Cereberally Assasinates that idea, reversing into a Pedigree for the win.
After the match, as Triple H is staring down the approaching Khali, Shelton Benjamin takes out the WWE Champion with the United States Championship Belt. He celebrates in the ring and leaves Triple H lying as easy prey for The Great Khali. Khali gets in the ring, and Tree Slams Triple H.
Backstage, Vickie is still trapped in her office, and is still standing around terrified. The lights go out and she screams in terror as we go off the air.
R-Truth? Meh. Triple H vs. Shelton Benjamin? Their matches a few years back were much better. By far the best match on the show was MVP vs. Jeff Hardy. It was an alright show, but by the end I was looking at the clock every couple of minutes. If anybody knows anything about Brie Bella, and her twin sister down in FCW, they’ll see where that whole angle is going.
You guys know that James Curtis guy that was wrestling on ECW for a while? There’s a guy named James Curtis who got arrested in my hometown of Niagara Falls for posting a sign on a water fountain that said “Whites Only.” Classy.
Anyways, it was an okay show, nothing special. We’ll see how things go next week. If The Brian Kendrick wrestles on next week’s show, it’ll completely defeat the purpose of his promo this week. Let’s see where it goes from here.
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