The 2008 Summer Olympics began earlier today and are going on as we speak – but nobody cares about that, it’s Friday night, it’s 8PM, it’s time for SmackDown! You guys know the drill by now, so here we go!
Tazz is filling in for Mick Foley
Natalya, Maryse, and Victoria def. Maria, Michelle McCool, and Cherry via submission.
Backstage, Bam Neely is found unconscious with a black rose on him.
Hawkins and Ryder def. Jimmy Wang Yang and Shannon Moore by pinfall.
MVP announces that he’ll be wrestling Jeff Hardy at SummerSlam.
Jeff Hardy def. Shelton Benjamin via disqualification.
The Great Khali left Triple H lying in the ring via the vice grip.
Curt Hawkins is found unconscious with a black rose on top of him. Apparently Ryder was found with one earlier too.
Vladimir Kozlov def. Jesse via pinfall.
The Brian Kendrick def. Super Crazy via pinfall.
Edge takes out Chavo with a Con-chair-to, and tells Vickie that he’s taking her to hell with him.
Full details, after the jump!
A recap of Edge’s attack on Mick Foley last week starts the show.
JR is with Tazz tonight, who is filling in for Mick Foley because of his injuries at the hands of Edge. Later tonight, Shelton Benjamin takes on Jeff Hardy. Also, an Indian Broken Glass Arm Wrestling Contest between Triple H and The Great Khali. But first, a six diva Olympic tag team match!
Maryse, Victoria, & Natalya def. Michelle McCool, Cherry, and Maria.
Maryse is dressed like a tennis player, Victoria is dressed like a gymnast, Natalya is dressed for Equestrian events, Michelle is dressed for tennis, Cherry is dressed for boxing, and Maria is dressed for skiing. Yes, they’re all dressed like they’re participating in Olympic events. Natalya and Michelle start things off. It’s back and forth action with both women looking for the early victory. Michelle got the tag to Maria, who also goes for a quick victory to no avail. Things get a little crazy, with all the illegal Divas in the ring. In the confusion, Natalya managed to lock in the Sharpshooter on Maria, who tapped out, giving Natalya, Victoria, and Maryse the victory.
Backstage, Bam Neely is found unconcsious by La Familia. There is a black rose lying on him.
Hawkins and Ryder are on their way to the ring, obviously concerned about the well being of Bam Neely. They’re in tag team action against Jimmy Wang Yang and Shannon Moore
Hawkins & Ryder def. Jimmy Wang Yang & Shannon Moore
Moore and Yang put up some pretty decent offense on the WWE Tag Team Champions, who are clearly thinking about what happened to Bam Neely. Hawkins manages to counter a charge by Yang and get the tag to Ryder, who goes on the offense for his team. The Champions show why they’ve got those belts, cutting Yang off from Moore and utilizing frequent tags to their advantage. Somebody was listening to Gorilla Monsoon’s advice when they were younger. Moore gets the hot tag and starts going crazy on the Champs. All hell breaks loose, allowing a double DDT on Moore behind the referee’s back as he’s trying to get Yang out of the ring. Ryder pins Moore for the victory.
Eve is backstage with MVP. He says that at SummerSlam, he’s taking on Jeff Hardy. Gotta love it. She asks him about the issues between himself and Jeff Hardy. She brings up what happened at Saturday Night’s Main Event – she’s even got a clip! We see MVP come out of nowhere and boot Jeff in the head, costing him his match against Edge. MVP says it’s obvious that he’s the only one who can see Jeff Hardy for what he really is. What they didn’t show, was Jeff attacking MVP after his match last Friday on SmackDown. Jeff Hardy is his own worst enemy, he’ll beat himself at SummerSlam.
Speaking of Jeff, he’s up next, taking on US Champion Shelton Benjamin
Still to come, an Indian Broken Glass Arm Wrestling Contest between Triple H and The Great Khali. But first, it’s time for all the women in the audience to scream, because Jeff Hardy is on the way to the ring to take on the WWE United States Champion, Shelton Benjamin!
Jeff Hardy def. Shelton Benjamin
Well, this one should be good. It starts off kind of slow, as they lock up a few times trying to feel each other out. They exchange a few holds, but it’s Shelton who’s got the early advantage, locking Jeff Hardy in various submissions. Jeff battles back, and winds up trapping Shelton in a submission hold of his own. Shelton gets out of it, and then starts pounding away on Hardy in the corner. He takes back control of the match, locking in another submission hold. Surprisingly, these guys are putting on a pretty good wrestling match. Jeff starts to battle back, hitting his reverse enseguri, sending Benjamin to the outside, then hitting a cross body plancha on him over the top rope. After rolling Shelton back in the ring, Jeff climbs the ropes, but Shelton gets up, leaps up after him, but gets thrown back down. Benjamin moved out of the way, and Jeff Swanton Bombed the canvas, but Shelton can only get a two count off of Jeff’s miscue heading into the commercial. When we come back, Benjamin is working over Hardy, in between submission holds. Jeff battles back, but when he goes for the Whisper in the Wind, Shelton had him well scouted, following him in and knocking him off the top rope. He manages to get a two count for his troubles. He then goes after the left leg of Hardy, which was apparently injured at Saturday Night’s Main Event last week. Jeff manages some separation after a long time on the defensive, and when Shelton tries to jump down on him, he manages to kick him out of the air. The pace starts to pick up, and Hardy starts to take advantage, eventually nailing the Whisper in the Wind for a two count. Shelton eats a jaw-jacker, but catches Jeff out of his little swinging dropkick in the corner thing, nailing Hardy with a powerbomb for two. He waits for Hardy to get up, but can’t hit the Pay Dirt – instead it’s reversed into a Twist of Fate, followed up by a successful Swanton. Jeff gets the win – but not by pinfall. MVP ran in and attacked Jeff before he could go for the cover. He holds his bling above his head while standing over a down and out Jeff Hardy.
Chavo tells Vickie that the black rose was a symbol of death from The Undertaker. Hawkins is looking for Ryder, whom he hasn’t seen since he went to take a shower after their match.
Jet Black Stare’s “Ready To Roll” is the theme for SummerSlam. There’s broken glass on a table, surrounding the WWE’s usual arm wrestling setup. The WWE Champion makes his way to the ring. He’s almost dressed to compete, save for his arm pads and wrist tape. He does his full blown entrance with the water spitting and everything. The Great Khali is out next with Ranjin Singh. Because these things never wind up having a decisive winner, I’m not going to treat this as a match. The referee checks them for, I don’t know, weapons or something. Before we start though, Ranjin Singh says that The Great Khali has something to say.
mumble mumble mumble, mumble WWE mumble champion mumble
-The Great Khali
Triple H says it’s a good point. Ranjin does his job and translates – Triple H should get out while he can because the Great Khali doesn’t care that Triple H has beaten everybody and their mothers, because he’s never even faced The Great Khali. Hunter says that’s what he thought Khali says. He calls Ranjin “Funyon,” and tells him that he needs to find a lamp, and rub it real hard to get Khali to go back in, and then cork the lid to protect Khali from him. Khali’s never faced The Game. Hunter usually comes up with a plan, doesn’t tell anybody, and then he does it. But today, he’s going to tell them what he’s going to do. He’s going to break Khali’s legs, and then he’s going to beat him. The thing about that, “Onion,” is that there’s nothing that him, nor the Jolly Genie can do about it, and if they’re not down with that, he’s got two words for ’em. The referee gives the instructions again, as Hunter stretches on the ropes. Trips is ready to go… or maybe not. Hunter pulls away when Khali grabs his hand. They finally get set up, and get a black rope tied around their wrists as they stare each other down. The ref signals to start, Trips gets the early advantage, but Khali battles back. H-Cubed manages to keep fighting, and we’ve got a hell of an arm wrestling match here – until Khali headbutt’s the game, throws the table down spilling glass all over, and then goes for the Tree Slam onto the glass. Hunter pokes him in the eye though, and sets up for the Pedigree, but he can’t pull it off. Khali chops him between the eyes and locks in the vice grip, squeezing the life out of the Cerebral Assassin. Triple H tries to fight out, but it’s futile. The referee finally gets Khali to let go. Ranjin says that at SummerSlam, Khali has two words for Trips – “Game over.”
Back from break, Hawkins is unconscious with a black rose lying on him.
R-Truth promo airs.
Apparently, they found Ryder with a black rose at some point. Chavo says that either he’s next or Vickie is next. Vickie refuses to go to Edge, Chavo says they need him, and he’ll go talk to him.
WWE Rewind: Vladimir Kozlov beats the hell out of everybody.
Vladimir Kozlov makes his way to the ring and takes a microphone. He says in Russian – and then again in English – that he wants better competition, as he’s undefeated. His opponent tonight will be… Jesse.
Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jesse
When the bell rings, Jesse and the referee have to calm Festus down. Jesse says he’s got this. Kozlov squashes Jesse as Festus impatiently watches on from the outside. Jesse manages to get a bit of offense in, but when he tries to come off the top rope with a move, he gets caught with a Kozlov headbutt, and Kozlov gets the win.
After the match, Kozlov goes outside and looks at Festus, who is in his after the bell trance.
RAW Rebound: Cena and Batista win the World Tag Team Championship
We get a rundown of the SummerSlam card. The Cena/Batista photos have the World Tag Championships poorly photoshopped onto them.
Chavo talked to Edge. He’s agreed to come see Vickie – but she has to be civil. This isn’t about the marriage, it’s about survival. He needs her to be nice and cordial to Edge. She crushes the black rose she’s holding, and says “alright,” as we go to yet another…
JR and Tazz thank all us male fans, because more of us watched SmackDown than any other show on TV last week.
THE Leonardo Spanky Brian Kendrick makes his way to the ring with Ezekiel. He gets on the mic and says that knowledge is power. With his intellect, The Brian Kendrick is the most powerful man in the WWE today. He introduces his “advisor,” Ezekiel Jackson. His opponent is wearing a shirt with the ECW logo with a WWE logo right above it. Ugh. Anyways, it’s Spanky vs. Super Crazy.
The Brian Kendrick def. Super Crazy
This would be a great match – if the WWE gave a damn about Super Crazy. Instead, The Brian Kendrick stayed in firm control of this one throughout. Crazy started to make a comeback, but allowed himself to get distracted by Ezekiel on the outside, which gave The Brian Kendrick the opportunity to hit The Kendrick for the win.
After the match, Ezekiel puts Crazy in the Torture Rack.
Backstage, Edge meets up with Chavo and Vickie in her office, hugging Chavo on the way in. Edge says that he knew when everything was said and done, they could see past all of that. Vickie keeps wanting to yell at him, but Chavo keeps calming her down. Edge says he can’t let what happened to Ryder, Hawkins, and Bam happen to them. He has a plan – they have to do things Edge’s way. Will Vickie do things Edge’s way? She says yes. Edge says, “let’s go do this.” Do what? Find out after this…
Edge makes his way out to the ring with Chavo and Vickie as we come back from break. He looks around as he gets into the ring, grabbing a couple chairs for himself and Chavo in case of attack from The Undertaker. Edge calls out ‘Taker. He wants to take out Edge’s family, he can use his supernatural powers to strike Edge down. Edge begs for the Undertaker to do something. Nothing happens – which is what Edge thought. He says they’re ready for him. He has Chavo wheel Vickie to the corner of the ring. He throws down his microphone, and then lays Chavo out with a chair! He then slams Chavo’s head off of the chair, giving an evil look to his wife, then hitting the Con-chair-to on his nephew-in-law. He turns his attention to Vickie. He wheels her closer to Chavo, and teases tipping over her wheelchair – but doesn’t. On second thought, he does. He grabs the microphone, backs Vickie into the corner, and asks a hysterical Vickie what’s the matter? She looks a little nervous. Is it finally dawning on her that the person she needs to worry about isn’t The Undertaker? Hell in a Cell is supposed to be some form of punishment? Foley was right – THIS is the Edge that needs to step into Hell in a Cell with The Undertaker. Taker wants to take Edge down? He’s going to pull ‘Taker down to hell with him. He’s going to take the entire family with him. And Vickie? More than anyone else, he’s going to take her down to hell with him.
Fade to black…
YES! I LOVE CRAZY EDGE! This show was pretty damned good, and Edge’s promo at the end was great. The mystery surrounding the decimating of Hawkins, Ryder, and Neely and the belief that it was the Undertaker only made the ending better.
Conversely, I could care less about the Great Khali vs. Triple H after this week’s stupid segment.
Other than those, and the further setup for the Jeff Hardy/MVP match at SummerSlam were really the only things to take away from this week’s show. I think Festus vs. Vladimir Kozlov will make for a pretty decent match, and I’m interested to see where The Brian Kendrick goes from here. Keep up the good work, WWE!
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