Well, I guess I have no excuses not to review the WWE shows anymore – I lost my job yesterday.  Damned George W Bush.  Oh well, that’s almost over.  What’s not over?  Jeff Hardy’s WWE Championship reign! After winning the title in Buffalo at Armageddon, he survived an assault from Vladimir Kozlov and Edge last week, with a little help from Triple H.  What’s SmackDown GM Vickie Guerrero got in store for the Unique Enigma this week?  We’ll soon find out!

Full results and thoughts after the jump!

Time to play the game… TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!
Triple H, who was virtually a non-factor last week, is here with a sledgehammer in hand.  Later on tonight, Jeff Hardy takes on The Big Show in one on one competition, but for now, Triple H is ready for action.  He’s also got something to say.   He says that you don’t tug on Superman’s cape, spit in the wind, pull the mask off the Lone Ranger, and you don’t do this.  Do what?  Well, the video from Armageddon shows that “this” is screwing the Game out of the WWE Championship and throwing him into the steel steps a la Vladimir Kozlov.  The Game says Kozlov has a price to pay, and he’ll collect with his sledgehammer.  It almost happened last week, but Kozlov escaped.  Almost doesn’t work for H-cubed, he wants Kozlov and he wants him now.

Ooooh, Chavo!

Chavo Guerrero must’ve screwed up Vickie’s coffee again, because she sent him out here to inform The Game that she’s not happy about The Game’s interference last week.  If he ever does that again, he won’t be in the Royal Rumble, and he’ll never get another WWE Championship match.  This isn’t RAW, Triple H doesn’t call the shots.  Vickie does.  Trips said that he wishes Vickie would’ve come out herself, but she probably couldn’t fit through the big door over there.  Chavo says she’s on a diet, she can fit.  Trips says it’s not that big of a door.  The Game says that unlike Vickie, Chavo truly is a Guerrero, but he’s become an errand boy.  He goes and gets coffee and donuts and stuff like that – he’s a gopher.  The Guerrero’s that Trips knew would have the guts to come out and tell him anything they needed to say to his face.  Chavo starts toward the ring, but then thinks better of it and heads up the ramp.  Vickie comes out, Chavo puts his arm around her, and the crowd won’t let her talk until Triple H asks them to show some respect.  She says Triple H can’t insult her nephew.  Chavo’s learned from the very best, and he’s going to prove it right now.  She calls for a referee, it’s going to be Triple H vs. Chavo Guerrero, right now!

Triple H dumps the sledgehammer outside the ring, and we’re underway!

Triple H def. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo goes straight after The Cereberal Assassin, taking the early advantage in the match.  He pulls the padding off of the top turnbuckle, then grabs a steel chair from ringside.  While the referee goes to fix the buckle, Chavo throws the chair to Triple H and lies down.  Triple H throws the chair out of the ring.  Chavo tries to tell the ref that Triple H hit him with a chair, but the ref doesn’t believe him.  One Pedigree later, Triple H has the victory.

After the match, The Game goes out and gets his sledgehammer.  He looks up the aisle at Vickie Guerrero, then nails Chavito right in the sternum with his weapon of choice as Vickie looks on with disdain.

Later tonight – Maryse challenges Michelle McCool for the Diva’s Championship, but up next, it’s Hurricane Helms going for gold himself as he challenges Shelton Benjamin for the United States Championship!


We come back to a vingette for Kizarny, who is debuting next week on SmackDown.  Apparently Smizack Dizown izis abizout tizo gizit strizange.

Shelton Benjamin is already in the ring, and he grabs a mic.  He is the United States Champion, and he has been since he beat Matt Hardy at the Great American Bash.


Well, Benjamin beat a North Carolinian for the title, and he’s defending it against another one tonight in Hurricane Helms.

Shelton Benjamin def. Hurricane Helms to retain the WWE United States Championship

Ricky Steamboat defeated Ric Flair the only time the United States Championship changed hands in Canada.  Can Hurricane Helms becomes the second?  A great athletic matchup between these guys, as you’d expect.  At one point, Hurricane stops, strikes a superhero-like pose, and yells “WASSUPWITDAT!”  Helms takes over from there, hitting high flying offensive moves on the Gold Standard, until Benjamin caught him in midair and powerbombed him onto the turnbuckle for a two count, sending us to…


Benjamin has Helms in a submission hold when we get back from the break.  After relinquishing the hold, he goes to work on Helms’ surgically repaired neck.  Helms starts to battle back, but has a suplex reversed into a neckbreaker, allowing Benjamin to retain the offensive.  When Helms finally does manage to battle back, he goes for the Shining Wizard, but Benjamin ducked. Helms then scored a few two counts, including one off of The Nightmare on Helms Street.  Benjamin counters another Shining Wizard, and gets hurricanrana’d for his troubles.  Helms finally hits the Shining Wizard, but Benjamin kicks out at two.  Helms goes for a move called “The Underdog” but gets reversed into a boot to the back of the head by Benjamin, who then hits Pay Dirt for the victory!

We revisit Armageddon, where Jeff Hardy finally won the WWE Championship!  We then get a trippy Jeff Hardy promo, where he says he’s not so different.  He laughs, he cries, he screams at the top of his lungs when he feels the need.  Is he really a screwup, or is Vickie covering something up.  He’s found his following, and tonight, the Big Show drowns in the screams of Jeff Hardy, WWE Champion!


The Brian Kendrick is set for action.  Backstage, Carlito and Primo meet up with the Bella Twins.  Primo asks Carlito if he’s going to win this time.  Carlito says he wins every time.  Primo asks him about last time.  Carlito says to focus.  The WWE Tag Team Champions, Carlito & Primo make their way out with the Bella Twins.  Carlito is in singles competition tonight against The Brian Kendrick.

Carlito def. The Brian Kendrick

A back and forth matchup, with Carlito getting a majority of the offense in.  Kendrick gets dumped to the outside, where Ezekiel Jackson gets attacked by Primo.  Jackson takes Primo down.  Back in the ring, Carlito drops Kendrick with the Backstabber for the victory.

We revisit the Tribute to the Troops show from last Saturday night.  I see where JT is coming from in this week’s Random Randomness about it being a way for WWE to pat themselves on the back, but at the same time, it really brings a smile to the troops’ faces, and it’s something really special for them.  The show was really all about the troops, and the wrestling was secondary to them.


Back in Vickie’s officie, Edge tells Vickie that people are begging him to regain the WWE Championship so that he can represent the company with dignity and morality.  Big Show comes in, and says it’s awkward.  While Edge was gone, his relationship with Vickie was strictly business.  Edge says he hopes Show takes care of business tonight.  Show says he’ll wrap Jeff up like a nice little gift.  If he does it though, he wants his own shot at the WWE Championship.  Vickie says he’s got it.  Edge complains, and Show says it’s strictly business.

Elsewhere backstage, Maria is dressed up like a referee, and Michelle is trying to butter her up, asking if they’re cool.  Besides, nobody wants to see Maryse as the Diva’s Champion.  Maria says she’ll call it down the middle.  Michelle asks Maria not to mess up her Championship reign like she’s messed up a bunch of other stuff lately.  It’s Maryse vs. Michelle with Maria as the ref, WWE Diva’s Championship is on the line, next!


Maryse def. Michelle McCool to become the WWE Diva’s Champion

These two Divas are just as good of atheletes as Hurricane Helms and Shelton Benjamin are, and this Diva’s Championship match shows that off in the early going, much like we saw in the US Championship match earlier.  The crowd, at least the ones that care about this match, are firmly behind their fellow Canadian, Maryse.  It’s a back and forth matchup, with both ladies countering each other several times.  Michelle starts to build momentum, and it’s so quiet in the Air Canada Center that you can hear a pin drop – or a pin count, as Michelle gets two on a cover attempt.  Michelle argues with Maria about a two count, and Maryse attacks her from behind, dropping her long enough to get the cover and the three count!  New Diva’s Champion!

After the match, Maryse takes off with her new title, and Maria helps Michelle up.  They hug, and as Maria turns to leave, Michelle attacks her from behind, brutally beating her as the crowd finally wakes up from their Diva-induced nap to chant “you suck” at the former Diva’s Champion.  She tosses Maria out of the ring and starts ramming her head against the floor and tossing her against the barricade.   You know, if this was two guys going at it like this outside of a match, the referees would be all over it.  Michelle tosses Maria shoulder first into the ringpost, then kicks her once more for good measure before finally leaving.


Umaga is returning soon.  Look out!

Later on, Jeff Hardy is taking on The Big Show.  Right now, MVP is in the ring.  There’s a sign that says “More Victories Please.”  His opponent has a new theme song – and he is the Punjabi Playboy, The Great Khali!

The Great Khali def. MVP

There’s actually a “Khali” chant going on – I guess JT and I are the only people who hate the Kiss Cam.  This match is all Khali early on, but MVP moves out of the way of a big boot and tries to take advantage of Khali straddling himself over the top rope.  Doesn’t work for too long though, as Khali knocks him right back down.  MVP drapes Khali over the top rope, and then hits the Driveby kick in the corner.  Again, his offense is short lived, as the Punjabi Playboy hits the newly-christened Punjabi Plunge for the victory.


Mr. Kennedy comes out and he gets his trademark microphone.  He asks Justin Roberts to give MVP a microphone.  MVP is unconscious, so a lot of good that does him.  Kennedy says that if MVP could talk, he’d say that he got beat, but he’s still better than you – but also that the important message is that Behind Enemy Lines: Columbia comes out on January 6th.  Kennedy says that he wants to dedicate this portion of the broadcast to MVP – and it’s brought to you by MISTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR KENNEDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!


Vladimir Kozlov is angry and on his way to the ring.  He’s in action, NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK> (JT got the new Edge: A Decade of Decadence DVD for Christmas.  I’m jealous.)

Once again, we’re reminded that Smizack Dizown izis about to gizet strizange.  Yes, kids, it’s Showtime next week!

Jimmy Wang Yang is in the ring.  Guess what – he’s about to die.  His opponent is the Moscow Mauler, Vladimir Kozlov.

Vladimir Kozlov destroyed Jimmy Wang Yang

I know this may seem like a cop-out sometimes, but seriously, picture a match between Vladimir Kozlov and Jimmy Wang Yang.  Congratulations, you just saw this match without watching it.  Kozlov got the win in about a minute.

After the match, Kozlov gets the mic and says that everybody on RAW, SmackDown, and ECW better be watching, because what just happened is what’s going to happen at the Royal Rumble.  He says that he’s going to win the Rumble, go to WrestleMania, and become the Champion.

Big Show is gearing up for his match backstage.  Edge comes in and says that he wanted to wish Show luck tonight.  Show says that Edge doesn’t want to wish him luck.  He’s full of Canadian Crack.  Show’s going to win tonight, and guarantee himself a shot at Jeff Hardy.  He wants Edge to watch, because he wants Edge to see Show do what he can’t do.  By the way, how’s the marital relations with Vickie going?


RAW REBOUND: HBK, JBL, the former Y2J, and RKO all qualified for next week’s Fatal Four Way match to determine the number one contender to John Cena’s World Heavyweight Championship.

It’s peanut butter jelly Vader Main Event time!  The Big Show makes his way to the ring, and we go to a…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>  (Meanwhile, I enjoy my cheesecake!)

The guy who looks like Barney the Dinosaur with his purple hair and green face paint, WWE Champion Jeff Hardy(~!) makes his way to the ring.  Back in Vickie’s office, Edge asks if Big Show is the number one contender if he wins tonight.  Vickie says that if he wins tonight, he’ll face Edge next week for the number one contendership.  It’s all business, relax.  Anyways, the belt looks great on Jeff – though I noticed when I finally watched last week’s SmackDown that it’s still go tthe Monday Night RAW plate on it instead of the SmackDown plate…  I digress, we’ve got a match going on!

Jeff Hardy def. The Big Show by count out

Damn, does the Big Show look impressive to start off here – he rips Hardy’s wifebeater right off his chest to deliver a massive chop.  Show dominates the early part of the match, and does his cobra clutch toss, sending Hardy out of the ring and us to yet another…


When we come back, Show is still dominating the WWE Champion, Jeff Hardy.  I don’t think Hardy’s gotten a single move, either offensive or defensive in.  He started throwing punches when I typed that, but it didn’t help one bit against The Big Show.  That’s like a three year old punching a brick wall.  Show goes for an elbow after an eternity of offense, but Hardy rolls out of the way.  The Extreme Enigma starts throwing punches again, again with no effect, and winds up jumping right into a bearhug.  Hardy battles out of it, and hits a pair of Whispers in the Wind.  He goes up and nails the Swanton!  He covers The Big Show, but Show powers out at two.  Show goes for a chokeslam but Hardy reversed it into a DDT, then dropkicks the big man out of the ring.   He pendulum dropkicks Show into the announcers’ table.  The ref begins a count, but Hardy dives back into the ring.  Show can’t recover in time, and Jeff Hardy has defeated The Big Show via count out!

Jeff heads back up the ramp, and the ECW Champion, Matt Hardy meets him up at the top.  Backstage, Edge says he doesn’t have to face the Big Show now.  Vickie says he won’t be facing him, but since the Hardys seem to be reunited, it’s going to be Matt and Jeff taking on The Big Show and Edge.  The end.

My thoughts: None, really.  I liked the show, I liked the destruction of Maria by Michelle after Michelle mistakenly accused Maria of costing her the Diva’s Championship.  I liked Jeff Hardy’s promo, and his victory over The Big Show by count out.  There was nothing really outstanding about the broadcast, but it’s definitely better than anything else in the pro wrestling world right now.  As I said at the top of the review, I’ve pretty much got no excuse to not do these reviews at the moment, so you should definitely see a RAW review after tomorrow night’s show…

Post by thinksojoe

The founder of BoredWrestlingFan.com and it’s parent company, Fropac Entertainment, ThinkSoJoE has been a wrestling fan since he first saw WWF television in 1986 at the age of four. His first wrestling memory was Hulk Hogan on Saturday Night’s Main Event talking about getting King Kong Bundy in a cage at WrestleMania 2. Sixteen years later, he met Hulk Hogan on the eve of WrestleMania X-8. On December 9, 2013, he legitimately won a Slammy Award (Best Crowd of the Year). ThinkSoJoE currently hosts the weekly BWF Radio podcast.

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