I apologize for this review going up late. Usually our SmackDown reviews are up way earlier than this but unforeseen circumstances have pushed it back. Alright, let’s go!
We kick things off with a recap of the controversial ending to the World Heavyweight Championship Chairs Match at TLC.
Teddy Long is introduced, and he says that last Sunday, The Undertaker successfully defended his title against Batista. Due to Batista being unsuccessful, we’re looking for a new number one contender. Batista interrupts, and he says that they don’t need a new number one contender, he’s standing right here. Long robbed Batista last Sunday, and Batista told him to make it right – and this is not going to make it right. The Animal enters the ring, and tells Long again to make it right. Nobody back there, or anywhere, would face Batista for the number one contenders spot anyway. So, you might as well give Batista another shot.
BOOYAKAH BOOYAKAH! whatever that means
Rey Mysterio comes out onto the stage with a mic in hand. He says that he wants to challenge Batista. You don’t have to be 6’5 and jacked with muscle to be a champion. Dave thinks that because he dresses fly and has the spotlight on him that he’s the man? He’s nothing but a bully! There’s one thing Batista never understood – he always saw Rey as a little guy, and never took the time to look what’s inside of ReyRey. He’s got heart – and something in Spanish that the crowd loved. Mysterio says the best way for him to get back at Batista is to make sure Batista never holds the World Heavyweight Championship again. He wants to get it on tonight. Batista says he’ll beat Rey up again. Teddy Long says that it’s official, Batista will face Rey Mysterio, and the winner will be the number one contender. Long says it’s a straight up wrestling match. No chairs. You can lose by pinfall, submission, countout, and disqualification. The winner will get a special Christmas present when they take on The Undertaker next Friday night on SmackDown!
Now listen, this ain’t no make believe
John Morrison is here, and he’s wearing his t-shirt under his fur coat. It looks weird, actually. He’s in tag team action tonight. He’s teaming with Matt Hardy and R-Truth. Their opponents are the new Intercontinental Champion, Drew McIntyre, and his partners, the Slammy Award Winning CM Punk and his Detoxified Disciple (Thanks, Matt Striker!), Luke Gallows.
CM Punk, Luke Gallows, & Drew McIntyre def. Matt Hardy, R-Truth, & John Morrison
I’m not sure about Gallows new “bald with a goatee” look. So many guys over the last decade have tried it and only two have gone on to any real success. What? Success! What? Success! Enough with the Stone Cold references, Who’s Next?!? Anyways, Punk keeps Morrison trapped in his team’s corner, making a blind tag to Luke Gallows when Morrison starts to mount a comeback, allowing Gallows to get a surprise shot and maintain his team’s advantage. Punk, Gallows, and McIntyre manage to use frequent tags to their advantage, keeping Morrison trapped in their corner. Morrison finally manages to get the tag in to Matt Hardy, who turns the tide on CM Punk. Hardy hits a side effect, but Gallows doesn’t allow him to make the pinfall. Things break down as they usually do in this type of match, and with the referee distracted by the goings on, Punk nails Hardy in the gut with his Slammy Award and pins him for the victory!
Backstage, Maria and Mickie are playing SmackDown vs. RAW 2010 when Beth Phoenix pulls the plug. The Glamazon tells Mickie that’s why she lost at TLC is because she was too busy playing video games. When she won Diva of the Year in 2008, she became so aggressive that nobody could beat her. She tells Maria to enjoy her Slammy because she’s got a match later with Beth, who promises to make Maria’s return to SmackDown short lived.
The DX ShopZone commercial that aired on Monday airs again.
Next Friday, it’s a DX Christmas on SmackDown!
Eric Escobar makes his way to the ring for competition. He says he knows Vickie is angry about the names he’s been calling her lately, but she can’t blame him for calling National Geographic and telling them he found a chupacabra when he saw her wearing negligee. There’s no punishment she can send him that will be worse than being in a relationship with her. Vickie excuses herself, and she’s tired of hearing Escobar saying nasty things about her, so she brought him something, since it’s his birthday (hey, it’s my mom’s birthday too!). That gift is the Big Red Monster, Kane!
Kane def. Eric Escobar
Escobar doesn’t back down from Kane, but that’s probably a mistake, since Kane took over rather quickly. Escobar tries to fight back, but Kane essentially dominates. He nails a chokeslam, and the Big Red Monster picks up the quick victory.
After the match, Vickie gets in the ring and cackles menacingly towards Escobar. She says that Escobar will choose his words more wisely from now on. He takes the mic from her and he says she’s right. He’s been talking himself into some brutal beatings, but he’ll watch what he says from now on. He says that tomorrow he’s going to wake up very sore but still standing and ready to fight another day. The bad luck for Vickie is, tomorrow she’ll wake up still looking like that. She says she wants to say something, but Escobar leaves with the microphone so that she can’t. Thank you, Eric Escobar, thank you.
The Great Khali returns to face Chris Jericho, NEXT!
BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!
The Slammy Award Winning Chris Jericho is here, minus the partner he won the Slammy with, as they lost the Unified Tag Team Championships to DX, who screwed him out of a rematch on RAW this past Monday. Jericho says he was unfairly ejected from RAW on a legal loophole. JeriShow never lost their rematch. Jericho was the victim of the biggest screwjob in WWE history, a conspiracy of epic proportions. Jericho says it’s not over, because he’ll leave RAW when he’s ready to leave RAW, and not a minute earlier. He’s being punished for being the best in the world at what he does. Being ganged up on by GMs and Guest Hosts, and worst of all, the bottom of the barrel, is that The Big Show has been taken from him, leaving him all alone to fend for himself. This is one of the worst moments of Jericho’s life, and he knows we all love to see him down and out, but mark his words, this is not over. In the meantime, he’s going to continue doing what he’s been doing for the last nine months – dominating Friday Nights as the face of SmackDown. Speaking of faces, the Punjabi Playboy, The Great Khali is here and ready to take on Jericho.
The Great Khali def. Chris Jericho via countout.
Jericho goes after Khali’s legs first, but that strategy goes out the window when Khali takes Jericho down with one strike. Khali uses his size to his advantage, as he often does, but Jericho manages to create some separation, but it doesn’t do him much good. Khali goes for the vise grip, but Jericho rolls out of the ring and starts backing up the aisle. He thinks about going back to the ring, but changes his mind, walking out and getting himself counted out.
Still to come, Rey Mysterio faces Batista
The Hart Dynasty are here and ready for action. They’re facing off against the new tag team of Slam Master J and Jimmy Wang Yang.
The Hart Dynasty def. Slam Master J and Jimmy Wang Yang
Apparenly Slam Master J is trying to get Jimmy Wang Yang into the gangsta lifestyle. Yang apparently no longer wants to be known as the Asian Redneck, but instead as the Asian Redneck Gangster. Seriously, that’s what Todd Grisham said. The Hart Dynasty dominate, as you’d expect. The power of David Hart Smith is unbelievable. Yang manages a DDT on Smith, allowing himself to tag in Slam Master J, which prompts Run DMC and Beastie Boys references from Matt Striker, who is awesome. Natalya gets involved, slamming Slam Master J on the outside of the ring behind the referee’s back. Kidd takes out Yang, and the Hart Dynasty hit Slam Master J with the Hart Attack for the victory.
Natalya says that revenge is a dish best served cold, and after over a decade, they finally get an opportunity at DX. So while next week is a DX Christmas, it’ll be the Hart Dynasty’s time to celebrate. Smith says that there’s no better way to celebrate DX’s Christmas than by ending their run as Tag Team Champions. Unlike their fathers, they won’t be intimidated, and they won’t back down. Kidd says it’s a new era of the Hart Family, and what they couldn’t do, the Dynasty will do, because they are better than the best, period!
This Past Monday: Maria won Diva of the Year at the Slammy’s.
Beth is walking backstage when Michelle and Layla stop her to talk to her about Piggie James. Beth seems offended, and she asks who would want to see a big girl shut their mouths in a big way.
Maria makes her way to the ring carrying her Slammy. This has got to be the first time in a long time I’ve actually seen Maria wrestle on SmackDown. The Glamazon makes her entrance, and we’re set for action between the 2008 and 2009 Divas of the Year.
Beth Phoenix def. Maria
Beth starts the match by shoving Maria to the ground. Beth uses her power to dominate, despite Maria’s best efforts to fight back. Maria manages a rollup for a two count, and starts to fight, but Beth’s power is too much for Maria. Phoenix nails the Glam Slam and picks up the victory.
We’re then… treated.. to a trailer for The Marine 2
Monday Night: The Slammys
Next Week: The Undertaker faces either Rey Mysterio or Batista, and The Hart Dynasty challenge DX for the Unified Tag Team Championships
Rey Mysterio is out first for the number one contenders match. That’s NEXT!
Batista enters, with no pyro, and we’re set for a number one contenders match.
Rey Mysterio def. Batista
Batista dominates for the most part, with the occasional defensive offense by Mysterio until Rey manages to hit a dropkick that sends The Animal to the floor. Batista doesn’t let the advantage last long, moving out of the way of a baseball slide and utilizing his power to ground Mysterio as we head to a…
Batista is still on the offense when we come back as the referee asks Mysterio if he’s ok. The crowd chants “Yes We Can” in Spanish, apparently confusing Mysterio with President Obama. Mysterio again tries to mount a comeback, and again Batista cuts it short. It continues on like this for what must seem like an eternity to Mysterio, who bounds up when Batista climbs the ropes. He goes for a Hurricanrana, but Batista grabs onto the ropes, causing Mysterio to crash and burn, but as The Animal goes for a high risk maneuver, Mysterio nails a dropkick. The momentum starts to shift to Mysterio’s side, and he scores a two count off of a bulldog. Mysterio stays on the offense by not letting Batista return to a vertical base. Batista tries to mount a comeback, but Mysterio drops him with a DDT for a two count. Rey dropkick’s Batista’s knee out from under him, and nails a 619. He goes for a springboard splash, but Batista gets his knees up and covers Rey for a two count. Batista hits a running powerbomb for a two count, and though Mysterio escapes a Batista Bomb attempt, Batista hits a Boss Man Slam for a two when Rey gets to the ropes. Batista goes for the Batista Bomb again, but Mysterio hurricanranas him out of the ring. Batista grabs a chair, but the referee tells him to drop it. The Animal complies and spears Mysterio for a two count. Batista goes for a spinebuster, but Mysterio manages to roll him up and pick up the victory!
Batista can’t believe it – and neither do I! Mysterio back up the ramp as The Animal looks on in shocked anger and SmackDown goes off the air.
My Thoughts: A great show as usual from the Friday Night brand. I’m starting to like this Eric Escobar guy, despite the fact he’s probably not going to go anywhere, and I was pleasantly surprised by Mysterio’s victory at the end of the show. The Hart Dynasty are finally getting a shot at the Unified Tag Team Championships, and it’s against the original Hart Foundation’s long time rivals, DX. I’ll try to be back later with a new edition of ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts, but as I wasn’t expecting to have to write the SmackDown review, I may take a second week off from my column. No matter the case, JT should be around tomorrow with another edition of Random Randomness, I’ll be here Monday for RAW, and we’ll try to figure out just what happened to Drowgoddess this week that she didn’t make it here with her SmackDown review.
Like this post? Subscribe to our RSS Feed today and never miss another!