* NOTE: Due to the f*(#ing Pittsburgh Penguins, I’m watching Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals tonight, and as such, I’m watching SmackDown early (like, 1PM early) via YouTube and therefore may miss some non-essential stuff. *
CM Punk is the NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION and he makes his way out to the ring as JR tells the tale of Punk cashing in Money In The Bank after Jeff Hardy defeated Edge in a hellacious ladder match this past Sunday at Extreme Rules. The new Champion takes the microphone and says that he’s going to cut to the chase. He wanted to clear up a few things. Ever since he cashed in, there have been grumblings that say Punk stole the World Heavyweight Championship from Jeff Hardy. Punk doesn’t see it that way. Last year, when he cashed in on Edge, nobody saw it that way. Punk can’t take back what he did, nor does he want to. He’s proud to stand in the ring as the new World Heavyweight Champion. He earned the right to cash in that briefcase when he put his body on the line at WrestleMania. There was an opportunity to become champion staring him in the face, and he capitalized on it. It doesn’t make him a bad guy, that’s the whole point of the Money In The Bank briefcase. It wasn’t the most popular decision in the world, but Punk’s never done anything just to be popular, he’s always done what’s best for himself. The World Championship is something he’s worked very hard to attain. It’s the entire reason he’s a WWE Superstar to begin with. The title means the world to him, and he stands here and promises to bring respect, honor, and integrity back to the World Heavyweight Championship. He’ll represent the WWE as Champion to the best of his ability.
Jeff Hardy comes limping out to the ring, showing the effects of the ladder match from this past Sunday. The fans chant Hardy’s name, and he says that he didn’t come out to complain about what Punk did. That’s not his style. Punk thinks he earned it, Hardy doesn’t agree. Neither do the fans. Punk won Money in the Bank and could cash it in whenever he wanted to, but Punk cashed in on the wrong guy. Punk understands that Hardy is angry, but he wants Jeff to understand where he’s coming from. The fans chant “Hardy” again, and Punk says he didn’t put him in a ladder match at Extreme rules, Jeff put himself in one. The night he picked a ladder match, a lightbulb went off that said “that’s my night.” It didn’t matter who won, that was when Punk was going to cash in, and, well, Jeff won. Hardy doesn’t care about Punk’s reasons, Hardy Senses “shelfishness.” Does Punk care about his fans? The fans chant “Hardy” again. Hardy doesn’t walk the same path as Punk, and never will, but he wants his title back. He wants his rematch TONIGHT!
You think you know me…
Edge comes out to the stage, and says no. Jeff wants his World Title back? He wants his rematch? No, if anybody is getting their rematch, it’s Edge. Hardy wants to know if Edge lost it, Jeff beat Edge. Why is he out here anyway, this is about Hardy and Punk. Punk agrees, he didn’t beat Edge, he beat Jeff Hardy. Edge says Hardy got lucky at Extreme Rules, and both of them combined have not held the title as much as Edge. Hardy had the shortest World Heavyweight Championship reign in the history of the WWE, but at least he has some originality. Edge has been trying to figure out what makes Punk tick ever since he got here. Edge has been watching him and trying to figure out who he looks up to. He wants to be Edge. Punk laughs, and Edge explains that Punk calls his unique lifestlye Straight Edge – hello! Punk named it after him. He cashed in MITB twice, just like Edge. Newsflash. Punk never has been, and never will be Edge. Another newsflash – if Jeff Hardy wants another shot, he needs to get behind Edge. Edge is the only person getting a rematch tonight. Get it? Hardy says that’s not going to happen because Punk and Edge are both full of – and with that he pops Edge in the head with the microphone. He drops Punk with a Twist of Fate and nails the Swanton on the World Heavyweight Champion.
You know it’s the Mack Militant!
Teddy Long wants to sort it out. Punk is the Champion, and his first title defense will be at the Three-For-All this Monday. He’ll face the winner of tonight’s number one contenders match between Edge and Jeff Hardy. Holla holla holla!
T-Lo is greeted in his office by the new Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho, who wants to know why he’s not getting a chance at the World Heavyweight Championship. He sees it as a sign of disrespect. He’s a 5 time World Champion, he unmasked Rey Mysterio at Extreme Rules, and he’s a record 9 time Intercontinental Champion. T-Lo needs to make things right, Jericho’s dressed and ready to compete. What’s Long going to do? Long can’t seem to come up with a good argument against Jericho, but he’s already made the number one contenders match for tonight. He’d like to see if Jericho is worthy of contention, and tonight, he’s going to go one on one with CM Punk. Jericho tells him “nice job.”
Dolph Ziggler makes his way out to the ring for our opening contest on Friday Night SmackDown. His opponent is, for the second straight week, the Punjabi Playboy, The Great Khali!
Dolph Ziggler def. The Great Khali
Ziggler starts the match by – well, as Todd Grisham put it “wasting no time in wasting time.” He slides out of the ring, but when he gets back in, he gets clotheslined down to the mat. He slides out again, then tells the referee that Khali pulled his hair. Khali brings Ziggler back in the hard way, and takes him down with hard strikes. Ziggler starts to get some offense in, going after the leg of Khali, then locking in a front face lock. Khali easily battles out of it, picking Ziggler up and tossing him straight back down 7 feet to the canvas. Ziggler exits the ring before any more damage could be done. Ziggler uses Ranjin Singh as a shield on the outside, shoving him into Khali at 8, sliding back in at 9, and Khali gets himself counted out at 10. Ziggler outsmarted Khali for the count out victory!
Still to come, Jeff Hardy takes on Edge in a #1 Contenders match!
World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk takes on Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho later on tonight – interestingly enough, last week’s SmackDown had the World Heavyweight Champion against the Intercontinental Champion for the very first time – but it was Edge vs. Rey Mysterio. Guess that goes to show that a lot can happen in a week.
Michelle McCool and Layla are accompanied to the ring by Alicia Fox. At least, that’s what Justin Roberts said. Todd Grisham says it’s a six Diva match coming up. There was one of those last week, where Layla scored an upset pinfall on Women’s Champion Melina. Melina and Eve make their way out, and we know for sure that this is a tag team match, not a six Diva match. So instead of a six Diva clusterf*(#, it’s a four Diva clusterf^*(#.
Michelle McCool & Layla def. Melina & Eve
I know I say this every week, but I just don’t care about the WWE Divas. It’s not that they’re not as talented as the male Superstars, I think it’s more because they’re always stuck in multi-participant matches. Anyways, Alicia Fox distracts Melina, allowing Michelle to catch her with the
Styles Clash Faith Breaker for the victory.
Up next, John Morrison teams with R-Truth to take on the World’s Greatest Tag Team of Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas.
Apparently more women watched SmackDown last Friday than any show on Oxygen, CW, or Lifetime Network. Take THAT Oprah Winfrey! (Here’s hoping that last line gets us in the search results for Oprah Winfrey!)
AIN’T NO STOPPIN’ ME NOW!
Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin make their way out to Shelton’s music. Which is weird, because they have music as a team – it’s Charlie Haas’s music. John Morrison, fresh off an impressive match with Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho last night on WWE Superstars, is out first for this match, and you can hear the women scream for him as he poses on the ropes. R-Truth must’ve finally got his employee ID badge, because he’s coming out from the back instead of the crowd for the second week straight. Truth says that The World’s Greatest Tag Team being back together is like Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer teaming up to do a rap song. Nobody wants to hear them, and nobody wants to see the WGTT. That’s the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. What a stupid catch phrase.
R-Truth & John Morrison def. Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin
Charlie Haas attacks Morrison from behind to start the match, allowing Benjamin to take advantage for the team. It doesn’t take long for Morrison to battle back, and just like last week, when it’s JoMo and The Gold Standard Shelton Benjamin in the ring, it’s time to kick back and watch. Morrison tags in R-Truth, who is a talented performer in his own right, but he allows himself to be distracted by Charlie Haas and taken down by Shelton Benjamin.
Benjamin is in control when we come back, and it doesn’t slow down when we come back. Haas gets the tag and the WGTT does one of the tandem maneuvers that earned them the name. Haas is another talented worker, and he shows it off here as he manages to keep R-Truth away from his corner for a while. Truth finally turns the tide and tags in John Morrison, who takes down both members of the World’s Greatest Tag Team. He hits a springboard kick on Haas, but Benjamin breaks up the pin. Charlie Haas takes out R-Truth, and Morrison hits a unique kick on Haas before hitting the Moonlight Drive and the Starship Pain for the victory!
Still to come, Jeff Hardy vs. Edge, but up next, it’s CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho.
The WWE would like to thank everybody who watched Extreme Rules on Pay Per View or on WWE.com. What, no love for those of us who managed to find one of the few streams WWE didn’t kill off?
Chris Jericho heads to the ring, Intercontinental Championship around his waist, and Rey Mysterio’s mask in his hand. He got that mask by ripping it off of Mysterio’s face this past Sunday at Extreme Rules. Come to think of it, that’s how he got the belt too. Jericho says he stands up for what he believes in, and he’s an honest man while 99% of us are liars and cheaters. He’s a success while 99% of us fail at everything. He believes that by unmasking Rey Mysterio he did him a favor. Now Mysterio doesn’t have to live his life in the shadows. He can live life without worrying if anybody recognizes him and knows who he truly is. Instead of thanking Jericho, he’s disappeared like a coward. In time he’ll realize that he’s been redeemed, led to his salvation by his savior, Chris Jericho. He’s exposed Myserio as a fraud, and he’ll let everybody know the same thing about CM Punk tonight. Jericho is better than CM Punk, because he’s the best at what he does. He guarantees a victory tonight, and there’s nothing that any of us can do about it. CM Punk’s music hits and the World Heavyweight Champion makes his way out to the ring.
CM Punk def. Chris Jericho
These guys have had great matches in the past and I don’t have any doubt that this will be another one. Both guys go for – and escape from – one another’s signature moves early in the match, just before the…
It’s still a very entertaining match when we come back with Punk in control. It doesn’t take too long for Jericho to turn it around in this back and forth contest. Interesting side note. Punk won the World Heavyweight Championship last year after winning Money In The Bank at a WrestleMania yours truly attended. He did the same this year after winning Money In The Bank at this year’s WrestleMania, which was attended by Drowgoddess. BoredWrestlingFan.com has been a good luck charm for Punk, apparently. Anyways, I digress. Jericho tries to keep a slow an methodical pace, and Punk picks up the pace when he goes on offense. Like Morrison and Benjamin, Punk vs. Jericho is really one of those “kick back and watch” matches. Punk goes for a GTS, but Jericho blocks it, grabbing Punk’s leg and locking in the Walls of Jericho. Punk pulls himself to the ropes, breaking the hold. Jericho stalks Punk, trying to clothesline him out of the ring, but Punk ducks. Jericho goes to climb the ropes, but Punk kicks him down, then hits a superplex. Both men exchange blows, but Jericho ducks a Punk punch and hits the Codebreaker out of nowhere – but Punk got his foot on the ropes at two. Jericho starts to kick Punk, but Punk shows him how it’s done, kicking Jericho in the head and dropping him with the Go 2 Sleep for the victory! Another great match!
Who will Punk defend his title against at the Three For All on RAW? We’ll find out, tonight.
Jeff Hardy makes his way out to the ring, still putting on his armbands. Edge is out next, and much like Jeff Hardy, he looks sore on his way to the ring. CM Punk comes to ringside and joins Todd Grisham and Good Ol’ JR on commentary.
Edge def. Jeff Hardy via disqualification
It’s a slow and deliberate pace to start off this match, which shows the effects of the ladder match from Extreme Rules. Punk once again explains why he chose Extreme Rules to cash in, and JR agrees that it was a good idea. Edge goes for a spear early but crashes into the ringpost, straight into our living rooms to enjoy a…
Hardy is still in control, and was dominating through the break as he works on Edge’s arm that hit the ringpost earlier. Todd Grisham asks Punk who he’d rather face this Monday. He says he can’t pick one or the other because Hardy takes a lot of chances, but he’s beaten Edge before. Meanwhile, Edge takes control of the match. Hardy tries to mount a comeback, but Edge chop-blocks him and goes to work on the leg. Punk says that if you asked him now, he’d face Hardy because he could take out his knee. Hardy winds up in the Tree of Woe but gets himself down before Edge can take advantage, and we go to a…
Edge is still working over Hardy’s leg when we get back. Hardy causes some separation, then catches an incoming Edge from the top rope with a kick and a DDT for a two count. The two take each other down with a double clothesline. Hardy starts to take control when the men get back up, getting a high pitched cheer when he takes his shirt off. Jeff goes to the second rope and drops the leg on Edge for a two count. Edge blocks a sitout leg drop by Hardy and locks in a variation on the Sharpshooter. Hardy gets the ropes to break the hold. Edge pushes his way out of a Twist of Fate attempt, but Hardy moves out of the way of Edge’s spear, sending Edge into the post again. Hardy drops Edge with a Twist of Fate, climbing the ropes, but Edge moves out of the way of a Swanton, but catches a flying clothesline on the outside instead. Edge tosses Hardy over the announce table into CM Punk, who dives in the ring and attacks Edge. The referee rings the bell, and Jeff Hardy realizes what just happened – Edge has won by disqualification.
Hardy dives back into the ring and attacks Edge. Edge goes for an Edgecution on Hardy, who reverses it into a Twist of Fate. CM Punk drops Hardy with a Go To Sleep and stands tall over both Edge and Jeff Hardy.
Backstage, Tiffany is sitting around with Teddy Long, who announces that this Monday on RAW, instead of a one on one match, it’s going to be CM Punk defending his World Heavyweight Championship in a triple threat match against Edge and Jeff Hardy.
My Thoughts: I would love to see a match between John Morrison and Rob Van Dam. Hell, make it a triple threat with Evan Bourne as well, and we’re looking at a match of the eternity candidate if you like the high fliers. Hey, speaking of high flying Triple Threat action, that’s what we’ve got coming up this Monday when CM Punk defends against Edge and Jeff Hardy on the Three For All. We’ll also see Christian challenge Tommy Dreamer for the ECW Championship, and a fatal four way between John Cena, Triple H, Randy Orton, and The Big Show for the vacant WWE Championship.
Anyways, tonight’s SmackDown continued the streak of awesomeness for the blue brand. These shows are exactly what wrestling shows should be all about. Sure, there’s talking, but it’s kept short and to the point. For the majority of two hours, you’re enjoying the finest professional wrestling on the planet, and that’s where RAW and iMPACT! get it wrong. SmackDown is the best wrestling television show there is – and it’s on free TV! You don’t even have to have cable to watch it. After today, though, you’ll need to be able to get digital channels to watch it in the United States. Hope you guys are prepared! See you tomorrow with another edition of ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts!
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