SmackDown results 9/11/09By thinksojoe · · 7 Comments
We’re not wasting any time – the bell tolls and The Undertaker is heading towards the ring!
He says that the sands of time have fallen slowly through the hourglass, but in two days, he’ll reclaim the World Heavyweight Championship and once again cast his shadow of darkness over SmackDown. He’s sure by now CM Punk is growing very tired. By now, he’s constantly waking up in the middle of the night in a puddle of his own sweat, consumed by fear, knowing that his Breaking Point will be realized when he feels the grip of Hell’s Gate. Submission is the only alternative to an eternity of pain. When Punk submits, and he will submit, not only will he relinquish the World Heavyweight Championship, but he will personally hand Undertaker his soul, and thus the symphony of lies shall end.
The World Heavyweight Champion has heard enough, and he comes out on the stage, microphone in hand. He says that he sees through the smoke and mirrors, and sees Undertaker for what he really is. While Jeff Hardy was a charismatic enabler, Undertaker is so much worse. He’s prayed on these people’s chemically influenced minds for nearly 20 years. He’s like this generations Alice in Wonderland. He’s created a self destructive cycle because all of these people actually believe in The Undertaker. They believe he’s got magical powers that allow him to come back and vanquish any foe. They believe, get this, that The Undertaker has a chance of taking the World Heavyweight Championship this Sunday. What they don’t realize is that Punk is stronger than the Undertaker’s previous victims. He’s not after Undertaker’s soul, he just wants to make him tap out. Imagine the reaction when Taker does tap out? They just lost Jeff Hardy, and now they’ll watch The Undertaker submit to the Anaconda Vice. They’ll go and get drunk, pop some pain pills, just to numb themselves from the reality that their hero tapped out. We’ll get a glimpse of it tonight when Punk makes Matt Hardy tap out to the Anaconda Vice. He asks The Undertaker not to interfere, because he wants everybody to get a glimpse of the world we’ll all live in after he makes Undertaker tap at Breaking Point. There will only be one icon, the choice of a new generation, the only straight edge World Champion in history, CM Punk. They’ll all be forced to join Punk and just say no. Taker says Punk got something wrong. They won’t be saying just say no, they will say rest in peace.
Up next, it’s a Belfast Brawl pitting Finlay against Mike Knox
Last week, Finlay pinned Knox after a shillelagh shot.
This week, the fighting Irishman faces Knox in a Belfast Brawl.
Finlay def. Mike Knox
Knox is kinda doing this smart guy gimmick, which is cool. It kinda reminds me of Raven a little bit, though I don’t believe that Knox is actually a member of MENSA. Anyways, speaking of the original ECW, matches like this make me miss it. Sure, it’s more brutal than the normal WWE match, but it’s got none of ECW’s hardcore heart. Steel chairs and trash cans are the traditional WWE weapons, and they’re put to good use here, mostly by Knox. Knox breaks out another WWE staple, at least since the Dudleys came over from ECW a decade ago, the table. Before anybody actually goes through the table, Finlay gets to his shillelagh and knocks Knox cold for the three count.
Backstage, Michelle runs into Dolph Ziggler, who is looking for Maria. Maria’s nowhere to be found, and Michelle wants to know what he sees in a ditzy little girl like Maria when he could be with a sexy woman like her. She falls and starts groping him while Layla snaps a picture with her cell phone.
Later on tonight, it’s CM Punk vs. Matt Hardy
Monday: The Price is RAW!
David Hart Smith is accompanied by Natalya and Tyson Kidd for singles competition. He’s not the only one accompanied by family – Ranjin Singh is with his big brother, Smith’s opponent, The Great Khali.
This one never gets started, as Kane attacked Khali as soon as he got in the ring. He grabs another WWE signature weapon (that was stolen from ECW), the Singapore Cane, but before he could use it, Khali turned the tide and dropped the Big Red Monster with a Punjabi Plunge.
The Unified Tag Team Champions are heading to the ring, as they’re up NEXT!
The World Tag Team Champions are here. They both lost in singles matches against their Breaking Point opponents this past Monday on RAW….
Yo yo yo yo yo, it’s Cryme Tyme!
I hope JeriShow destroy them.
Chris Jericho and The Big Show def. Cryme Tyme
I have to apologize, guys. I’ve paid absolutely no attention to this match because I just found out about Jeff Hardy’s arrest earlier today and was reading about it. JTG tried to skin the cat back into the ring, and he got an unlikely assist back in from The Big Show’s fist, knocking him out cold and leaving him prone for Jericho to pick up the pinfall.
Teddy Long is greeted by Mr. McMahon backstage. Mr. McMahon reminds him he’s on probation, and that SmackDown is only good. It needs to be great. What’s Long going to do about it? Next week, he’s got a huge surprise that will change the face of SmackDown. Mr. McMahon wants to know what he’ll do for him at Breaking Point. Long says he’ll have something good. Mr. McMahon reminds him he doesn’t like good, he wants excellent. McMahon asks where his picture is, and Long says he’s wondering the same thing.
Submission Match coming up later tonight between Matt Hardy and CM Punk.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK (I WANT THE SMACKDOWN DVD!)>
Charlie Haas is already in the ring – which means he’ll be jobbing. Especially since his opponent is the NEW Intercontinental Champion, John Morrison!
John Morrison def. Charlie Haas
John Morrison can make anybody look like a credible opponent, which makes him look even better when he hits the Starship Pain and picks up a victory like he did here.
JoMo says that last week he became the Intercontinental Champion in one of the greatest matches of his career, but it wouldn’t be possible without Rey Mysterio (doing drugs). He can’t describe the feeling, but he hopes these images will do that for him.
Video: Morrison celebrating winning the title and hugging Rey Mysterio
Morrison thanks Rey from the bottom of his heart, and offers him a rematch whenever he gets back from his suspension asks for one.
I am perfection…
Dolph Ziggler is sickened. He earned his title match, and Morrison and Mysterio decided to have a match. Morrison says that’s pretty much what happened. Was he going to lose again to Mysterio? Ziggler says that the third time’s a charm, but he wants his title match. Morrison says let’s do it right now. Ziggler says no. We’ll have it on his terms. Morrison wonders if Ziggler’s scared and calls him Mr. Ziggles. Ziggler says nobody calls him that. Morrison wonders if Maria calls him that. Ziggler says nobody calls him that. Morrison says he just called him that. Ziggler says Morrison doesn’t count. Morrison says the whole arena is chanting “Mr. Ziggles.” Ziggler says to stop it or he’ll leave the stage. The fans cheer. Morrison says he thinks Ziggler should go, because it’s what the people want, and they’re not going to stop chanting “Mr. Ziggles.” Ziggler slinks up the ramp and backstage, much to the delight of the SmackDown fans. Morrison says that the WWE Universe won’t stop chanting Mr. Ziggles as long as he’s Intercontinental Champion.
Josh Matthews is with Matthew Hardy. Tonight he faces the man who was right about his brother’s drug use all along ended his brother’s career. Hardy says that Punk won’t be able to say he’s never submitted anymore. There will be two submissions – to The Undertaker at Breaking Point, and tonight against Matt Hardy. He says that Punk will be lucky to make it to Breaking Point, because when he locks in a submission, he’s not letting go.
Melina is out first for her match, and her opponent, Layla, is accompanied by the WWE Women’s Champion, Michelle McCool.
Layla def. Melina
Michelle hit Melina with her crutch to allow Layla to pick up the victory.
Josh Matthews is with R-Truth. He asks about Drew McIntyre. Truth says that the party is just getting started and starts babbling. The basic idea, I think, is that he wants a match with Drew McIntyre – who assaults him from behind.
Before the break: Drew McIntyre attacked R-Truth
Todd Grisham and JR run down the Breaking Point card
The World Heavyweight Champion, CM Punk makes his way out to the ring as we relive him crashing through a table last week at the hands of The Undertaker. He’s facing Matt Hardy in a submission match – NEXT!
CM Punk def. Matt Hardy
Matt, I’m begging you, please either go back to the pants look until you drop some weight, or get some tights that fit you. You look ridiculous with your underwear sticking out of the back of your tights. If I were your opponent, I’d give you a wedgie. In fact, I just tweeted him that @MATTHARDYBRAND. Here’s hoping he doesn’t post a blog blasting me. Hardy actually holds his own in this match, and utilizes a variety of submission holds, primarily working over Punk’s knee. Doesn’t stop Punk from kicking him in the head then locking him in the Anaconda Vice for the victory!
Punk celebrates his victory, holding his title high, but the bell tolls and the lights go out. When they come back on, Punk is without his title, as it is in the possession of The Undertaker at the top of the ramp.
My Thoughts: I have absolutely zero interest in Breaking Point. Submission matches are traditionally held between two guys who are well versed in submission – Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit comes to mind. I’m also disappointed that a submission themed pay per view doesn’t feature any of the three members of the roster who were trained in the famous Hart Family Dungeon. Hell, the Hart Dynasty can’t even get an actual match anymore. Matt Hardy seriously needs a different look. The black tights aren’t nearly as distracting as the blue ones he wore a couple of weeks ago, but they don’t fit him in any sense of the word. Ah well.
Like this post? Subscribe to our RSS Feed today and never miss another!
Punk was actually quite well versed in sub. before he had to "develop'' a "WWE'' style; this has to be the only match im interested in (as opposed to NOC or SS; Loved 'em both!)
TSJ and I agree for sure. (Gee buys you a beer). But no PPV buys here. With all the "fun" times the summer brings over the years in WWE, this year bringing the guest host hit or miss (usually miss), the Hardy/Mysterio drug infested noise (Hardy most recently if TMZ is credible… wow I actually wrote that?), and the never-seen-before reunited DX (fuck-sakes, I was at that show for the "clips"), why the fuck would you pay for this rehash that involves Kane v.s. Khali when Kingston, nor Morrison, defends their U.S./I.C. titles respectively? I doubt I'll even pirate this. The opportunity to make an awesome PPV is there, even in the PG world. WWE has just signed some serious talent and has lots of other ROH mofo's learning the "WWE style" (i.e. "Dumbing it down"). God damn I hope they figure this out by Mania for an 8 man, ex-ROH Money in the Bank match! They have at least 6-7 alumni already by my count.
You do realize that only the main events are submission matches. It says so on Wikipedia.