Welcome to this week’s edition of Crazy Shit Happens to Jeff Hardy, a.k.a. Friday Night SmackDown. Tonight will feature Victoria’s retirement match as she takes on Michelle McCool before setting off into the sunset. We’ll also see the return of Jeff Hardy following his unfortunate hit and run accident last week. What insanely bizarre thing will happen to the WWE Champion this week?
WWE SmackDown review, after the jump!We kick things off with a recap of Jeff Hardy’s car accident last week. The SmackDown intro video plays, and we are ready for action in Omaha, Nebraska as JR confirms that Jeff is indeed in the building this week, and he’ll be Edge’s guest on The Cutting Edge.
Speaking of, Edge’s wife Vickie Guerrero is in the ring and getting booed so loudly it’s hard to hear her on the microphone. She wants to show everybody what happens if you disrepsect her. We’re then treated to a recap of Triple H in Triple Jeopardy last week, where he put up a valiant efford but was knocked out by The Big Show. Triple H paid the price for disrespecting the SmackDown GM. Trips ruined her wedding day, almost ruined her marriage, and he’s tried to ruin her reputation. He has some nerve, and no respect for anybody. He thinks it’s a joke? Look who’s laughing now!
Behold the king…
Triple H has an envelope in his hand as he walks down to the ring with his head down and a frown on his face. H-cubed gets a microphone, and he tells Vickie that he’s sorry. She’s right – last week, she taught him the error of his ways. He’s a goof. He can be a degenerate. He thinks he’s funny, but then somebody’s feelings get hurt, but he’s sorry. To bury the hatchet, he got her nude photos back for her. He went through a lot to get them. The Great Khali had them, then he showed them to a lot of people backstage, and then Joey Styles bought them and put them on the internet, then a lot of people saw them. Joey didn’t want to part with them, and it cost Trips a fortune to get them. They’re all there and he’s sorry. Vickie accepts his apology, but it’s not good enough for her. She can’t take his Rumble spot away from him, but she can put it on the line in a match against The Big Show. It’s once again going to be a Last Man Standing match. Vickie leaves the ring, and Triple H says that he thought something like this would happen, so he went the extra mile and put together a video package. Vickie’s censored nudes appear on the screen as the sounds of various farm animals play out. Trips says she was young and needed the money. His music hits as Vickie starts to leave the arena, but when she gets to the top of the ramp, she calls out “EXCUSE ME!” She says that Triple H won’t be fighting for his spot in the Rumble, somebody else will be. If that person loses, then The Game is out of the Royal Rumble. That person will be MVP! Also, Triple H is banned from ringside.
Still to come tonight, The Undertaker’s Edict – whatever the hell that is.
JR says that tonight in Omaha would be a good night for some hot JR’s BBQ sauce, before treating us to a video package detailing Jack Swagger’s victory over Matt Hardy this past Tuesday night on ECW, becoming the new ECW Champion. SWAGGERTIME!
Speaking of the new ECW Champion, he’s in the ring, and he’s set for tag team competition, teaming with The World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry. Their opponents will be Finlay and the former ECW Champion, Matt Hardy. Hardy will get his ECW Championship rematch next Sunday at the Royal Rumble.
Matt Hardy & Finlay def. Jack Swagger & Mark Henry
Hardy and Henry start things off in this match. Hardy takes Henry down and tags in Finlay, who continues the offense for his team. Henry battles back with a powerslam and tags in the ECW Champion. Finlay doesn’t let Swagger keep the momentum in his team’s favor for long, however, taking it to the ECW Champion. Swagger backs Finlay into the corner where Henry is waiting, but Finlay battles out. Swagger takes control back, however, knocking Finlay to the outside. Henry attacks him and sends him back in, where Swagger takes firm control of the match, and we go to a…
Mark Henry has just been tagged in when we come back, and he continues to work over Finlay. The heel tandem make quick tags and cut Finlay off from Matt Hardy. Finlay nearly makes it to Hardy, but Swagger knocks him down and moves him away from his corner. Finlay finally manages to create some separation, and gets the tag in to Matt Hardy. The fresh Hardy takes control instantly after coming in, and it isn’t long before he drops Swagger with a Side Effect. Hardy’s looking for the Twist of Fate, but Tony Atlas rolls Hornswoggle in the ring, distracting Hardy and the referee long enough for Henry to come in and clothesline the former ECW Champion to the ground. Finlay takes out Henry, however, and in the chaos, Matt Hardy drops Jack Swagger with a Twist of Fate and picks up the victory for his team!
Back in Vickie Guerrero’s office, Edge says that he doesn’t care what it takes, he wants to make sure that Jeff Hardy’s first title defense next Sunday at the Royal Rumble will be his last. Chavo comes in and introduces the man who will make sure Triple H won’t be in the Royal Rumble, The Big Show. Show says hi to Vickie, and tells her it’s a great concept. Not only does he get to knock Triple H out of the Royal Rumble, he gets to knock out MVP and maybe shut that big mouth of his. It’s time to take care of business. He looks at Edge and says that after he wins the Royal Rumble, he’s going to WrestleMania, which means he might face Edge, and maybe he’ll knock Edge out. Chavo says “in yo’ face!” Edge tells Chavo to make sure everything is set for The Cutting Edge tonight, because he wants to make sure it’s a night that Jeff Hardy won’t forget.
R-Truth is walking backstage when he runs in to The Brian Kendrick and Ezekiel Jackson. Kendrick says that the singing and dancing doesn’t impress him. Jackson says “That’s what’s up.”
Todd Grisham is backstage with Michelle McCool. Recently we’ve seen a more vicious side of Michelle, and then presents a video package detailing this. We see her beat down Maria three weeks ago, and Eve last week. She says it’s all about jealousy. Maria and Eve are jealous of her. Understandably so, she’d be jealous of herself. They’ll never be able to compete on her level. She’s not only the top Diva on SmackDown, but the entire WWE. Maryse needs to put herself on notice, Michelle wants her title back. She’s interrupted by Victoria, who says that Michelle may bully and intimidate the little girls, but she doesn’t scare Victoria, and she’s about to find out why.
MVP is warming up backstage with Triple H. He says he’s got this. Trips says he better take this seriously. Trips doesn’t care how many times he’s lost, he better start a winning streak. MVP says he knows how much Triple H needs the win, but MVP needs the win too. He says he won’t let him down, the streak will end tonight.
R-Truth’s music kicks in, and he’s walking down to the crowd singing his Slammy Award winning song, “What’s Up?” He takes on The Brian Kendrick, NEXT!
Later tonight, it’s The Cutting Edge with Jeff Hardy. Right now, however, The Brian Kendrick is on his way to the ring for competition with R-Truth.
R-Truth def. The Brian Kendrick
They lock up to start the match, with Truth backing Kendrick into the corner. Kendrick gets a little overzealous, and Truth makes him pay for it. It’s all R-Truth to start the match, but he allows Kendrick a moment to recouperate, and Kendrick goes on the offense with a series of kicks. Kendrick goes for a cover but only gets a one count before locking on a single leg crab. He turns that into a Camel Clutch, but Truth battles out of it. Kendrick telegraphs a backdrop, and Truth takes advantage, but a Kenrick drop toe hold drapes Truth across the ropes, and Kendrick takes back the momentum in this matchup. The match continues to go back and forth. Kendrick misses The Kendrick, and Truth hits the axe kick for the victory!
After the match, Ezekiel Jackson attacks Truth from behind and leaves him lying with a Uranage.
Backstage, Triple H tells MVP to not worry about the people, not to worry about his losing streak, not to worry about anything. Just focus on winning. Do what Trips told him to do, and he’ll win. The match means everything to Triple H. MVP says he’s got this. Triple H holds up a sledgehammer, and says that for MVP’s sake, he hopes he does.
The Last Man Standing match is NEXT!
We’re treated to a Vladimir Kozlov training video package when we come back.
Justin Roberts reminds us of the rules to a Last Man Standing match, then The Big Show makes his way out to the ring. MVP attacks him on his way to the ring with a chair, and the bell rings to officially start the match!
MVP def. The Big Show in a Last Man Standing Match
MVP continues the assault with the steel chair on the World’s Largest Athlete. Show finally punches the chair right out of MVP’s hand, and MVP slides into the ring. Show tries to follow him in, but MVP boots him off of the apron. He goes for another kick, but Show catches him and shoves him across the ring. Show finally gets in the ring, and MVP continues to try his stick and move strategy. Show catches another boot, shoving MVP again, and MVP rolls out of the ring. Show comes out after him, but he rolls back in. Show finally catches up to MVP, throwing him around on the outside of the ring. It’s all Big Show at this point. Show rolls MVP back into the ring, but MVP rolls right back out. Show comes out after him, and tosses MVP into the steel steps. Show charges in, but MVP moves out of the way, leaving Show to crash into the steps. MVP dropkicks Show into the steel ringpost from the apron, then climbs back up onto the apron as the crowd chants his name! MVP goes for the driveby kick, but Show catches him coming in, and sends him crashing to the floor.
We’re back in the ring when we come back, with Show still throwing around MVP. MVP pulls himself up in the corner, but Show comes after him again, hitting a huge chop on him. He drops MVP with a short arm clothesline. MVP stays down for a 7 count, but he gets back up and starts throwing punches at The Big Show, who subsequently tosses him across the ring. Show gets MVP up with both hands around his throat, and just drops him. MVP pulls himself back up and tries to fight back, but Show continues to whip him from pillar to post. MVP gets a sleeper on the big man, but Show flips him over to the canvas. Show shoves MVP out of the ring by the throat. The referee counts, getting up to 8 before MVP gets back to his feet. Show Irish whips MVP into the guardrail, then goes and takes a seat on the ring steps as the referee counts. After a seven count, MVP is back up. When Show comes after him, MVP slaps him across the face. Show tosses MVP up the ramp, following it up with a suplex on the ramp. MVP rolls off the ramp as the referee continues the count, getting to eight again when MVP pulls himself back up. Show chops him across the chest again, then tosses him up onto the stage. The referee counts again, getting to eight once again. Show shoves MVP to the floor, but picks him up at two, and goes for a chokeslam, but Triple H comes out and drops Show with the Sledgehammer! The ref starts counting both men down as the crowd cheers for MVP, who gets up at nine, while Show stays down for ten! The losing streak is over!
Tazz mentions that Vickie said Triple H couldn’t interfere, and wonders if The Game just screwed himself again. JR says he doesn’t know, but he does know that the sledgehammer has knocked out The Big Show.
The first announced name for the class of 2009 in the WWE Hall of Fame will be announced later on, in case you missed it earlier this week. Up next though, The Undertaker’s Edict…
Video: Umaga is returning to SmackDown
Backstage in Vickie Guerrero’s office, she asks Chavo to bring her Triple H. Edge says he wants to give Show a lesson on how to take care of business. And he’s going to do it later on when he interviews Jeff Hardy on The Cutting Edge.
The Undertaker says that once a year, thirty mortals do battle in an attempt to gain an opportunity at immortality. However, this year, there will only be 29 mortal souls, and one immortal phenom. Darkness will fall over those who attempt to disrupt ‘Taker’s destiny. They will be subject to something far worse than physical annihilation. Their fate will be darker than a simple over the top rope elimination. Their souls will be subject to judgement by he who controls the dark side (ThinkSoJoE note: Darth Vader?). Their suffering will be infinite. Undertaker will bury them all.
WWE Slam of the Week: Michelle McCool attacks Victoria following their tag match last week.
Michelle McCool and Victoria are already in the ring. JR confirms that this is Victoria’s last match in the WWE.
Michelle McCool def. Victoria
Michelle tries to get away, but Victoria comes right out after her. Victoria goes on the offense, and is more aggressive than we’ve seen her in quite some time. She hits a lot of her classic moves, but Michelle finally starts to mount a comeback. She goes to climb the ropes, but Victoria knocks her down and superplexes her. She floats over, but only gets a two. Victoria climbs the ropes and goes for a moonsault, but Michelle moves out of the way. She dropkicks Victoria in the face and covers her for a two count. Michelle gets aggressive, going after the knee of Victoria. Michelle locks in a single leg crab, which seems to be the move of the night tonight. She then lets go of that and starts wrenching back on the leg. Victoria starts to fight back, but Michelle reverses an arm drag into the Brazillian Heel Hook. Victoria fights to get to the ropes, forcing Michelle to break the hold. Victoria manages to roll Michelle up for a two count, and goes back on the offensive, but McCool goes right back after the knee. Victoria pulls off a backslide for two, then goes for the Widow’s Peak, but her knee gives out on her. Michelle then gives her her version of the Style’s Clash, which she calls “The Faith Breaker,” and picks up the pinfall victory.
Triple H is in Vickie Guerrero’s office. She says he’s done it now. He got involved in the match between MVP and The Big Show, which means that the’s out of the Royal Rumble! Trips says that all she said was that he was banned from ringside – he wasn’t near ringside. She says it’s not what she meant. He says that’s what she said. That means that he’s still in the Royal Rumble. She says that next week he’ll be facing Vladimir Kozlov.
Still to come, The Cutting Edge with Jeff Hardy! Up next, we’ll find out who the first inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2009 is!
That awesome Living Colour-soundtracked video package for the man who redefined sports entertainment, Stone Cold Steve Austin is aired once again.
We then get a rundown of the Royal Rumble card thusfar.
Edge’s music hits, and he makes his way to the ring to host The Cutting Edge, which is coming up NEXT!
Vladimir Kozlov says that next week, he doesn’t think Triple H will not bring him competition. He proclaims that he’ll still be undefeated following their match. That’s next week.
Right now, however, it’s time for The Cutting Edge!
Edge says that when you’re an elite athlete, you learn to block out distractions. Ever sicne Armageddon, his only focus has been to take back his WWE Championship from Jeff Hardy. Lately that’s been pretty hard, because it seems every week, there’s another distraction. Whether it’s some private photos of his wife being on WWE.com, or whether he’s got to worry about Jeff Hardy himself. Whether we want to admit it or not, Jeff has a black clowd hanging over his head. He’s got to worry about whether or not Jeff’s even going to make it to the Rumble, especially since he’d been in a hit and run accident. Edge is usually all for some good ol’ fashioned Jeff Hardy pain and suffering, but not this time around. He’s happy Jeff and his girlfriend are ok, because now there’s no more distractions. Edge will not have his moment to take his title back taken away from him. This is a story that’s so good that they had to make a movie out of it.
We’re shown a video package of Jeff Hardy winning the WWE Championship and the buildup to their WWE Championship match at The Royal Rumble.
Back in the ring, Edge is smiling. He says it’s just a preview. Wanna know how the movie ends? It ends when Edge proves that Jeff’s WWE Championship reign was an accident at the Royal Rumble. He doesn’t just want to tell us about it, he doesn’t just want to show us, he wants to tell it straight to Jeff Hardy. Bring him out!
Jeff’s music hits. He comes out to the stage in his usual fashion, but there’s a bit more pyro this time around, much to the surprise of the WWE Champion, who comes crashing down to the ground, clutching at his face, apparently burned by the pyro. His music stops and a stagehand comes to check on him. The stagehand runs to the back, and comes back with Jimmy Wang Yang. Gregory Helms follows him out, and EMTs come to check on Jeff, bringing out a strether as fans look on, concerned for the WWE Champion. R Truth and Matt Hardy come out to check on Jeff as well. We see a replay of the incident, which looks really cool – not to mention really dangerous. Jeff is stretchered to the back as Vickie Guerrero and Edge look on. SmackDown then goes off the air.
My thoughts: Wow. That was a cool looking stunt! How they managed to pull that off without seriously injuring Hardy, I have no idea. Hopefully he didn’t get hurt at all in the stunt – and you know it was a stunt, because EMTs would have been all over that way quicker than they were had that actually happened. Interestingly enough, it was hinted at that Chavo Guerrero had something to do with it, when a lot of people are pretty convinced that it’s somebody completely different. Eventually I bet we’ll find out that Chavo was either misdirected or paid off by that other person, but since this isn’t a “newz” site or a “spoiler” site, I’ll refrain from saying who that other person is.
It was a pretty decent edition of SmackDown this week. I took a different approach to writing this review than I normally do – it’s 9:43PM and I’m watching the Stone Cold induction piece on my television while I’ve already finished watching the show. That’s the cool thing about pre-taped shows, sometimes you can catch them on YouTube before they air in your market. Hope you enjoyed the review, I’ll be back – hopefully – on Monday with the RAW review. It depends on my work schedule, since I’m starting a new job in about an hour and fifteen minutes…
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