Drowgoddess did not write this, and is simply assisting in posting. Give a rousing Bored Wrestling Fan welcome to a man who refused to allow his university exams to completely interfere with his wrestling review, “Smackdown” ‘s latest opponent, Rich Flynn!!!

Hey guys!

My name’s Rich aka RobotPartyWeek. I’m a pal of Drowgoddess and Jamie Kennedy’s! I’ve been given the opportunity to have a bash at writing a show report, so here goes nothing….

There’s no way I’ll be able to live up to G’s hilarious SmackDown! coverage, but I’ll do my best to write something decent, haha. This is my first ever show report, so please go easy on me!

So, let’s get this show on the road…

Last week, Edge coerced Kane into giving him another shot at the World Heavyweight Championship at TLC. Tonight, the two will battle in the main event to decide the stipulation of their match.

(I wonder if we’ll get another ‘Chair match’ at this year’s TLC? How bizarre was that stipulation?)

The show begins with Rey Mysterio making his way to the ring. As he walks down the aisle, slapping the hands of the crowd, we see him observing the plethora of tables, ladders and chairs which have been set up around the ring. Does this mean we’ll be getting Rey vs. Del Rio in two weeks at TLC? Or is Rey just a plywood enthusiast? I tend to lean towards the former.

Rey’s on the mic and mentions Sheamus winning the 2010 KOTR tournament on this week’s RAW (boooo!). At least, I think that’s what he’s on about – all my mind can focus on is Rey’s fashion choice for the evening.

Plum and yellow, Rey? Really?

Anyway, Rey claims he’d have loved to be King of the Ring, but that pesky Alberto Del Rio stole his opportunity.

We’re treated to a recap of last week’s match between Rey (in light blue and silver – much better) and Dashing Cody Rhodes, where Del Rio interfered, costing Rey the match.

Rey says he’s not the type to complain; he just takes care of business. Cue another recap – this time of RAW, as Rey hijacked ADR’s car and allowed Morrison to pick up the win over a distracted Del Rio and advance in the tournament.

Back to the present, and Rey begins to slowly climb the ladder while talking about what it takes to be a king. I wonder if a certain somebody will appear?

Sure enough, here comes Alberto, who bribes a security guard to watch his vintage Rolls Royce. Alberto enters the ring, and at this point, you’d think Rey would maybe consider climbing down from the ladder. Del Rio reminds Rey that the last time he was around chairs, he ended up in the hospital. Mysterio responds by claiming he’s been injured by guys who are ‘twice the man you could ever hope to be’. Ouch.

Rey says that since they’re both in the ring, maybe they should take care of business right here, right now. Alberto climbs the other side of the ladder (yes, Rey is STILL up there), calling Mysterio ‘such an ambitious Chihuahua’. I don’t know why, but that really cracked me up. Del Rio is gold.

It’s a face-off at the top of the ladder, and Rey reveals he’s crossed paths with Teddy Long and…

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. It’s official: at TLC, Rey Mysterio will take on Alberto Del Rio. No word on whether this will have a stipulation or not.

Del Rio says it doesn’t matter, because he’s already fought – and defeated – Rey. He follows this up with quite possibly the longest wink in recorded history (if there’s such a thing as a recorded history of winks), but gets treated to a microphone to the face. Del Rio pushes Rey off the ladder, and the two have a skirmish which results in Rey putting Del Rio through a table with a leg drop from the apron.

We go backstage, where ‘Earlier Today,’ Vickie is walking with Dolph backstage. She’s so glad NXT season 3 is over (…aren’t we all?), and can’t believe her rookie won.

Sure enough, Kaitlyn appears, informing a horrified Vickie that since she won NXT, she has now become SmackDown!’s newest Diva. Oooh…

Back from commercial break, where Ziggler is in the ring alongside my fellow countryman, Drew McIntyre (who is sporting a rather awesome new t-shirt, by the way).

Drew McIntyre went to my University! I realise that’s the least interesting claim to fame story ever, but I get a thrill every time I tell someone.

MVP’s music hits, which totally surprises me for a second until I remember that SD! was taped before Montel was released from his contract…

Kaval also appears, which is hopefully a sign that he and Ziggler aren’t quite done yet. I sure hope not – their match at Survivor Series was incredible!

Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre vs. MVP/Kaval: A couple of notes here…

– MVP had been getting some great crowd responses lately, and this match was no different.

– MVP and Kaval have surprisingly great chemistry as a team. It’s a shame we won’t be seeing this pairing again.

– Ziggler shone as usual. The guy has gone from being a midcard curiosity to becoming possibly the most consistent worker in the company.

The highlight of this match is Kaval countering Dolph’s suplex into a dragon sleeper. Beautiful. However, Vickie distracts the referee, Drew takes advantage, and Ziggler finishes off the World Warrior with a Zigzag.

Kane’s music hits, and MVP is treated to a chokeslam while Kaval gets Tombstoned. Talk about kicking someone while they’re down…

The Big Red Monster follows up by saying the show won’t continue until Edge gives Kane his father back. Edge appears on Tron with Paul Bearer, telling him to come get Paul. He’s in the loading dock, dontchaknow?

What follows is more wild goose chasing including another dummy in a wheelchair, like last week. This section is long. Too long.

We return from an ad break. Oh, and this match is for no. 1 contendership for IC title.

So much for Kaval’s continued chase of the IC belt…

Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger: A soaring eagle-less Swagger, no less. This immediately makes Swagger 86% less awesome.

Similar to last week’s KOTR qualifier, this is a long match, and by the end, the crowd are completely into it. Kudos to both men; it’s far more entertaining this time around.

This bout is back-and-forth throughout, and culminates in Kofi going for Trouble In Paradise. Swagger ducks, and tries for what looks like a high knee or big boot. Kofi rolls under his leg, goes for ANOTHER Trouble In Paradise, but Swagger catches Kofi’s leg and starts to turn him over for the Ankle Lock.  Kofi manages to get up onto one foot, and a frustrated Swagger pushes him through the ropes to the outside. As Swagger steps through the ropes to join Kingston on the outside, he eats an impressive Trouble In Paradise, flopping back into the ring and giving Kofi the pinfall.

Your winner, and No. 1 contender for Dolph’s Intercontinental title (…again), Kofi Kingston.

We go to backstage for EVEN MORE chasing. Kane is in hot pursuit of Edge and Bearer. Edge throws the wheelchair down a flight of stairs and runs off. Kane is naturally horrified but, of course, it turns out to be yet another dummy.

Seriously, does Edge hold stock in wheelchairs and mannequins?

Back to ringside, and Chris Masters is in the ring. We’re reminded that he’s been named a pro for NXT 4, before we’re greeted with a WHOOOOOAH-OHHHHH as Dashing Cody Rhodes makes his way out.

(What do you guys think of the NXT4 rookies and pros? I’m not as excited about this batch, but maybe that’s partly because I was expecting Tyler Black aka Seth Rollins to appear this time around.)

Chris Masters vs. Dashing Cody Rhodes: Not much to report about this one. After a few minutes, the Dashing One hits a Beautiful Disaster, then finishes Masters off with Cross Rhodes.

After a video package recapping Bearer’s abduction by Edge (as if we needed any reminders), we’re treated to a rare sight – Rosa Mendes has a match!

Rosa Mendes vs. Layla w/ Michelle McCool: Layla begins the match by taunting Rosa’s skip roping… obviously. Rosa responds by kicking Layla square in the butt before throwing her across the ring. Rosa actually looks strong here (y’know, considering this is Rosa), but McCool is up to her usual tricks. Climbing on the apron, she distracts the referee and allows Layla to take the upper hand. Rosa responds by countering a throw and sends Layla crashing into her BFF. Layla kicks out of a roll-up and delivers a kick to Rosa’s head, before setting up and executing the Layout neckbreaker to get the 3-count.

A standard LayCool post-match beatdown looks certain, until Hornswoggle appears. Yes folks, I’m sorry to break this to you. It pains me to even type his name. Anyway, LayCool mock the little guy, dropping to their knees and putting up their dukes, but the smiles are wiped off their faces as Beth Phoenix’s music hits.

She takes both ladies out succinctly, but Horny and Beth’s celebration is soon cut short by the shock return of… THE SWAGGER SOARING EAGLE! And boy, does he look mad. In one of the most satisfying moments of my entire wrestling-watching life, the Soaring Eagle delivers a devastating big boot to Hornswoggle’s face. I’ll be rewinding that part several times.

The Eagle looks very pleased with himself, before the Glamazon grabs him from behind and delivers a Glam Slam. There’s a sentence I never thought I’d type…

(By the way, Matt Striker wins the ‘Best Crap/Awesome One-Liner of the Night’ award by remarking ‘Right on the beak!’ Tremendous work as usual, Mr. Striker.)

Time for another RAW recap! This one details Miz’s confrontation with Jerry Lawler. I know King obviously wasn’t gonna win the WWE title on RAW, but I was surprised by how emotionally invested I was in that match. I was so pissed at Michael Cole (or ‘The Great Betrayer’, as I plan on calling him from now on).

We’re back to SmackDown!, as Cole address the camera at the announce desk. He’s “flabbergasted” at the response to what happened, and claims he will talk privately with King. A satisfying chorus of ‘COLE, YOU SUCK!’ rises up from the audience.

Anyway, it’s time for our main event, as Kane makes his way to the ring. He’s soon joined by The Rated-R SOOOOperstar, Edge. Given their decidedly tepid match at Survivor Series, I’m not expecting much from this bout.

Towards the end of the match, Kane is signalling for a chokeslam, but is stopped dead in his tracks – Paul Bearer appears on the Tron, screaming for his son. Kane goes to the outside, but is in two minds about leaving – if he loses the match, Edge gets to choose the stipulation for their TLC match. The Big Red Monster eventually decides to return to the ring, but is immediately taken out by a Spear. Edge picks up the win, and will decide the stipulation for the World Heavyweight Championship match at TLC.

Edge stops at the top of the ramp, and announces the stip – a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match. Edge claims that, now that he has what he wants, he’ll finally bring Bearer back to Kane.

I was gonna describe in detail what happens, but I can’t physically bring myself to, so I’ll sum it up.

– Edge brings Bearer out in the wheelchair, then leaves.

–  Kane runs up to wheelchair to discover it’s not the real Bearer, but some OTHER fat, pale guy in a suit.

– Kane boots the Bearer imposter in the face for some reason.

– The REAL Bearer appears on the Tron AGAIN, shouting for Kane. He’s tied on the back of some sort of truck or something (I’m not good with this sort of thing).

– Kane runs backstage but doesn’t reach the truck in time. Edge drives away.

I guess this means we’ll be treated to two more weeks of Kane running about backstage, and Paul Bearer screaming ‘KAAAAAAAAAAAAANE’. Fantastic.

Anyway, that’s it from me. Thanks for reading, let me know what you thought. Cheers to Drowgoddess for giving me the chance to write this!


  1. This is a fine recount of the episode. SD was wrestling heavy this week, fortunately. Good points on MVP… I guess we'll see where he goes from here. He owns the rights to his character, which is a rare feat in the modern WWE. and will benefit certainly from that. I can't say I loved tonights show on all levels, but it was certainly above average in content. Good job Rich!

  2. Thanks man, that really means a lot. 🙂 As I said to Jana, I didn't realise how shallow my paragraphs would appear on the webpage… Oh well! I had no idea MVP owned the rights to his character! I'm excited for him, I just hope he does well.

    Aye, it wasn't the best episode ever… I still enjoyed writing about it, though. Especially the Swagger Soaring Eagle. 😀

  3. Welcome aboard mine friend! Excellent show report and didn't fall into the trap of being a drab blow-by-blow account. Opinions are good and that's why I like to read other peoples work! I've already watched the show and know what happened! Haha. 🙂

    As for MVP, I'm like Rich and did not see that one coming. It's a shame as I'd just written a little piece about him a number of weeks ago and was holding my hopes out for a heel turn in the near future.

    Smackdown is beginning to get back on its feet. Kane is the best he has been in years, Mysterio is entertaining me again and Alberto Del Rio has star written all over him! The addition of Michael Cole into the announce booth has livened things up a little too and made the show feel less like the ugly brat kid brother of RAW. Consider me a Coleminer!

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