What’s going to happen on SmackDown tonight?  Who knows?  I sure don’t!  There’s only one way to find out – read on!  OK, I suppose you could watch the show, so there’s more than one way, but still, just keep reading!

SmackDown Review, after the jump!

SmackDown kicks off with a recap of the events of No Way Out.  Justin Roberts introduces the new World Heavyweight Champion, EDGE!  Meanwhile, some idiot tries to call me.  I don’t know who it was, but come on, don’t people know that I’m busy at 8PM on a Friday Night?

Edge says that we all wanted him to show up without the WWE Championship, so we could try to taunt him, boo him, and try to rub it in, because none of us have ever accomplished anything, and we don’t want him to either.  But he’s different than us, because he’s a winner, not a loser.  He may have lost the WWE Championship, but when he saw that Kofi Kingston couldn’t compete, he offered his services, and look what it got him.  He’s the first superstar to ever participate in two elimination chambers in one night.  Because of that, he’s now the 8 time World Heavyweight Champion.

Edge gets ready to leave, but his music turns into that of Jeff Hardy, who joins Edge in the ring.  Jeff tells Edge he did it.  He walked in to No Way Out as a Champion, and left as a Champion.  Some people say it takes skill, or it takes guts.  Some would call Edge the ultimate opportunist.  Maybe he is, maybe he’s not, but he definitely gets special treatment because he’s married to a pitiful excuse for a General Manager.  Edge wonders if Jeff is here to threaten him like John Cena did.  Jeff says he’s not, he just wants to challenge Edge for the World Heavyweight Championship, tonight!  Edge ponders if Jeff is taking illegal substances again.  Jeff lost on Sunday, and he has no claim to a World Heavyweight Championship match.  Jeff reminds Edge that the reason he’s not WWE Champion is because Jeff pinned him in three minutes.  Edge asks the fans if they want to see Edge vs. Jeff Hardy.  Then he says it won’t happen.  No matter what Jeff says or does, there is no way Edge is going to compete against him tonight.  Jeff says he’ll take it up with Edge’s wife, since she wears the pants in the family.  She pulls the strings, and Edge dances.  If he wants to go to the bathroom, he’s got to raise his hand.  Edge tries to clothesline Hardy, but eats a Twist of Fate instead.  Hardy leaves Edge lying in the ring.

Later tonight, a special interview with Triple H to talk about what happened at RAW.

This Past Monday: Randy Orton punted Shane McMahon in the head, then RKO’d Stephanie, prompting Triple H to come out and look all constipated.


Vickie Guerrero is texting in her office.  Kizarny shows up, and starts trying to tell a “knizzock knizzock” joke, but Edge comes in, and tells Vickie that he’s facing Jeff Hardy tonight.  Vickie says it won’t be a championship match.  Edge said, “of course not, that would be stupid.”

Michelle McCool makes her way out to the ring, apparently for Divas tag team action.  Oh boy.  Her partner is the WWE Diva’s Champion, Maryse, who I think is wrestling on SmackDown for the first time since her title win.  Their opponents are Eve and Maria.

Maryse & Michelle def. Eve & Maria

Well, this is gonna suck.  I wish there was a Sabres game on tonight so I wouldn’t have to sit through this crap.  My mother called me during the match, and when I got off the phone it still wasn’t over.  That’s how long it dragged on.  Maryse pinned Eve to pick up the win for her team.

Up next, we’ll see highlights from the Bella Twins date with The Miz and John Morrison.  This show just keeps getting better and better, doesn’t it?


WWE SMACK OF THE NIGHT: The Miz and John Morrison defeated The Colons for the 6,000,023rd time last week.  This time they won a Valentine’s Day date with the Bella Twins.

Speaking of, let’s watch a clip, shall we?  Highlights include Morrison opening up his shirt, Miz and Morrison making a toast to being on a date with them instead of the colons, and the World Tag Team Champions being loud and causing a scene.  Morrison complains that there is butter on his food.  Then we find out that Primo and Carlito are in disguise working at the restaurant.  The WWE Tag Team Champions discover the disguises, and the Bella Twins catch pies in the face from the Colons.  Oh joy.

Primo and Carlito will defend the WWE Tag Team Championships next week on SmackDown against The Miz and John Morrison.  Maybe we’ll finally get an end to this stupid feud and The Miz and Morrison will attain their rightful place as Undisputed Tag Team Champions.

The most underrated guy in the WWE (argue all you want, but he is), Shelton Benjamin, makes his way to the ring, and we see a clip of him dropping MVP with the PayDirt last week, which was followed by a Chavo Guerrero Frog Splash.  Apparently, Shelton’s in tag team action, next!


The theme song for WrestleMania 25 is “Shoot to Thrill” by AC/DC.  AWESOME!

Later tonight, Jeff Hardy faces Edge in a non title match.

Also later tonight, Triple H talks about what happened on Monday.

Right now, Chavo Guerrero is in the ring with Shelton Benjamin.  R-Truth starts rapping and walking through the crowd.  He couldn’t do that during that forever long commercial break?  Anyways, R-Truth doesn’t make it over the guardrail before he’s assaulted by Chavo and Shelton.  MVP runs out for the save as officials come out to calm things down.


MVP def. Shelton Benjamin & Chavo Guerrero

This match started after what seemed like an hour long commercial break.  They’re long breaks, and they’re coming more often than usual tonight.  MVP for some reason agreed to face Shelton and Chavo by himself after they took out R-Truth.  MVP hit the Ballin’ Elbow for the first time in what seems like two years on Chavito.  This match was all about dissention between Chavo and Shelton, with Guerrero hitting the Frog Splash on Benjamin, then walking out, allowing MVP to hit the Driveby for the victory!

Up next, a sit down interview with Triple H.  Hooray for talking on a wrestling show.


JR shoots us to a recap of Randy Orton’s destruction of the McMahon family.  Triple H joins JR, and JR asks him for his reaction to the video.  Triple H says that Orton’s been walking a fine line for a while, and this past week on RAW, he put his hands…  a lot of people may not like Triple H’s father in law, Vince McMahon, but he’s a 63 year old man, and Randy Orton kicked him in the head.  He did the same to The Game’s brother in law, Shane, for trying to defend his father.  Then he put his hands on Triple H’s wife.  He crossed the line (hey, wait a minute, this isn’t TNA!).  Stephanie is the mother of Triple H’s children.  Then he gets up and storms off.


Later tonight, Edge takes on Jeff Hardy.

YOUMANGA~!  Oh crap, Scotty Goldman is going to die.

UMAGA def. Scotty Goldman.

Thanks for coming, Colt Cabanna!  The fans seem to be behind the Samoan Bulldozer, who is sporting some new color in his face paint this week, as he completely destroys Scotty Goldman.

WRESTLEMANIA MOMENTS: WrestleMania XIV in Boston jump started the Attitude Era.

Vickie Guerrero has a major announcement to make.  NEXT!


WWE SMACK OF THE WEEK: JBL and HBK both want to face The Undertaker at WrestleMania 25.  Hmm.  I wonder what Vickie Guerrero’s announcement is about.

Well, I guess I won’t have to wait long to find out, she’s already in the ring.  EXCUSE ME!  I can’t hear her.  Seriously, the crowd is that loud this week.  She doesn’t know who HBK and JBL think they are.  They both think they can break the Undertaker’s winning streak at WrestleMania.  Neither is worthy of that challenge.  Undertaker is on SmackDown, dammit!  If anybody is going to take that challenge, it’s going to be Vladimir Kozlov!  Kozlov comes to the ring.  Vickie says that to prove that Kozlov is worthy of the challenge, he’ll beat The Undertaker in a match next week on SmackDown before he beats him at WrestleMania.  Kolov says that HBK and JBL aren’t undefeated – he is.  He’ll destroy one of them on RAW, and he’ll break Undertaker on SmackDown and at WrestleMania.

Later tonight, Jeff Hardy takes on Edge.

Gail Kim is coming to SmackDown!  It’s about damned time, they signed her six freakin’ months ago.


We’re 44 days away from WrestleMania.

Triple H will confront Randy Orton this Monday on RAW.

WWE HALL OF FAME: Terry and Dory Funk, Jr. will be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame by Dusty Rhodes this year.

You think you know me…

Edge makes his way to the ring.  He poses on the turnbuckle, and we go to yet another…


Jeff Hardy makes his way to the ring, and doesn’t get blown up in his pyro this time around.

Jeff Hardy def. Edge by Disqualification

This feud has been going on since December, yet it doesn’t feel old, because these two haven’t spent a whole heck of a lot of time in the ring together.  In fact, this is only their second one on one match in this particular feud between the two men.  Prior to this, it’d been a while.  This one goes for a while, and Jeff’s resilliency is put over big time.  Jeff hits the Twist of Fate and the Swanton on Edge, but Matt Hardy comes out and drops Jeff with a Twist of Fate of his own.

As Justin Roberts goes to announce Jeff as the winner, Matt steals his microphone.  Matt says that Jeff can’t get rid of the black cloud over his head.  Matt will give him a chance next week, one on one.  Edge drops Jeff with a spear for good measure and holds his belt high over his head as the show ends.

My thoughts: WrestleMania is just over a month away – why are we giving away Matt vs. Jeff Hardy for free on SmackDown next week?  Anyways, this show dragged on way too long for 90 minutes.  There was a lot of talking, way too many commercials, and the last WWE appearance of Scotty Goldman.  The last 30 minutes were taken up by a great match between Edge and Jeff Hardy, which ultimately won’t win any match of the year accolades thanks to “The Black Cloud” Matt Hardy.

Whatever, I’m done.  I’ll see you guys Sunday for another installment in the series on WWE Pay Per View.

Post by thinksojoe

The founder of BoredWrestlingFan.com and it’s parent company, Fropac Entertainment, ThinkSoJoE has been a wrestling fan since he first saw WWF television in 1986 at the age of four. His first wrestling memory was Hulk Hogan on Saturday Night’s Main Event talking about getting King Kong Bundy in a cage at WrestleMania 2. Sixteen years later, he met Hulk Hogan on the eve of WrestleMania X-8. On December 9, 2013, he legitimately won a Slammy Award (Best Crowd of the Year). ThinkSoJoE currently hosts the weekly BWF Radio podcast.

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    • Well, that's what he's been calling himself on MySpace, but to hear him say it in this context was the first time it actually clicked in my head what he meant – he's the black cloud that's been hanging over his brother's head since the end of 2008.

    • Well, that's what he's been calling himself on MySpace, but to hear him say it in this context was the first time it actually clicked in my head what he meant – he's the black cloud that's been hanging over his brother's head since the end of 2008.

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