Before I get started with the SmackDown review, I want to give an update on the condition of “Mastiff” Will Calrissian, who slipped off of the ropes and landed on his head during the Empire State Wrestling “Overdrive” event last weekend.  He’s out of the hospital, and recovering from a fractured skull.  We here at BoredWrestlingFan wish Mastiff a speedy recovery!

Anyways, I have no idea what’s on tap for tonight, so let’s just roll with it!

Last week, SmackDown General Manager Theodore Long was playanapped by The Undertaker. You know what, let’s get this out of the way – I miss the American Bad Ass Undertaker. I was watching RAW from 2002 and I realized just how awesome he was in that role. Anyways, I digress.

The World Heavyweight Champion, CM Punk is here, and he’s apparently got something to say. He says he gets it. These people destroy billions of brain cells on a daily basis through consumption of alcoholic beverages, medications, and other substances. He brings this up because a lot of people seem to have forgotten his accomplishments. He would like to job our ailing memory. He’s the only three time straight-edge World Heavyweight Champion in WWE history. He’s the only superstar in WWE history to win back to back Money In The Bank ladder matches at WrestleMania. He’s the man who got rid of “The Charismatic Enabler,” Jeff Hardy forever. That’s a close number two to being the first man to make the Undertaker tap out (somebody didn’t watch the Angle/Undertaker match on the Best of SmackDown DVD). He did it all without drugs, alcohol, or help from any of the fans. He wants somebody, anybody in a position of power to come out here right now and treat him with the respect he’s earned, not only as the face of SmackDown, but the posterboy for the entire company and the choice of a new generation. He wants to know who his next opponent is, now that he’s beaten the all powerful Undertaker. Oh, that’s right, there’s nobody left…

The lights go out and the druids wheel a casket to the ring. Punk runs out of the ring and grabs a chair. When he returns, he stands above the casket wielding the chair, expecting The Undertaker to emerge. He goes out of the ring and starts hitting the casket with the chair. He cautiously lifts the lid of the casket – revealing SmackDown General Manager Theodore Long bound and gagged inside. Punk leaves him there and gets back in the ring. He tells Long “you got me, I thought it was somebody else.” He says The Undertaker is way to scared to come out and face him face to face. He tells Long he looks like he’s been on an all night bender. Punk then helps Long out of the casket and unties him. Long takes the microphone and says that effective immediately, there is no longer a ban on The Undertaker’s Hell’s Gate submission hold. The maneuver is 100% legal. Punk is not thrilled. Long says that one week from this Sunday, Punk will defend the World Heavyweight Championship against The Undertaker inside Hell in a Cell. That’s not all – Punk will also face The Undertaker tonight on SmackDown! Punk screams that it’s not fair as Long stumbles up the ramp.

Still to come, Batista vs. The Big Show

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Did you know? WWE brags about having more viewers than other networks, which are all airing reruns. See if that stat is true for tonight’s episode.

John Morrison is the Intercontinental Champion. He’s also set for tag team action. He’ll be teaming with Finlay, and they’ll be taking on Morrison’s Hell in a Cell opponent, Dolph Ziggler, and his partner, Mike Knox.

Finlay and John Morrison def. Dolph Ziggler and Mike Knox

Matches like this showcase what SmackDown is all about – the best wrestling matches on television. Even the brawling type guys like Finlay and Knox are good enough to put on a good match virtually every time. This match was going well for Knox and Ziggler until Knox inadvertantly knocked Ziggler over. While the referee was checking on Ziggler, Finlay hits Knox with the shilleghlagh, allowing Morrison to nail Starship Pain for the victory.

Backstage, Slam Master J is trying to find out what he needs to do to get Cryme Tyme to let him hang with them. Shad tells him he needs to prove himself. JTG hands him a can of spraypaint. J says he’s got this. Shad says he probably won’t do it. J comes back and says not only did he do it, he ganked a copies of the Best of SmackDown DVD and the Rise and Fall of WCW DVD. Teddy Long goes into his office and comes back out, wondering who defaced his office. Slam Master J admits to it and asks if Long is going to call the PoPo. Long says he’s not, but instead he’s going to send his confused ass to the ring. J wants to know who his opponent is. Long says he’ll have to wait and find out.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Still to come, CM Punk faces The Undertaker.

Slam Master J is already in the ring, which means he’s probably going to job, if we hadn’t figured that out already. His opponent, weighing 323 Lbs., KANE!

Kane def. Slam Master J

SMJ holds his own for a moment, but Kane takes over and it’s all downhill from there. In fact, a sidewalk slam and a chokeslam are all it takes to keep SMJ down for the count.

Mr. McMahon is here! CM Punk meets up with him in the back and asks if he’ll allow Teddy Long to do this to him. Mr. McMahon says that they should’ve thought about the consequences of their conspiracy. Mr. McMahon wishes Punk luck.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

The boss is on his way to the ring – look busy! Mr. McMahon makes his way to the ring with his usual swagger, and he’s apparently got a major announcement with regards to Friday Night SmackDown. After the usual cheap heat at the expense of the Oklahoma fans, he says he’d like to invite us to a special presentation of a Decade of SmackDown next week. We’ll honor those who paved the way, such as Steve Austin and The Rock. We’ll honor the current stars of the program such as The Undertaker and Batista. DX will be on the show, as well as the WWE Champion, John Cena. The fans cheer, probably because they don’t have to deal with DX and Cena tonight. Mr. McMahon would like to introduce us to a man he’s recently signed to Friday Night SmackDown. He’s intelligent and handsome and will be a future heavyweight champion. He’s simply bad ass, and probably doesn’t appreciate Oklahoma anymore than Mr. McMahon does. Please welcome Drew McIntyre! McIntyre shakes Mr. McMahon’s hand and takes the microphone as the Chairman makes his exit. He says he’d like to say that he’s surprised, but he’s not. There’s nobody on the SmackDown roster who can match his potential and aggression. Since Teddy Long’s been too busy to pay attention to what’s been going on here on SmackDown for the last few weeks, it took the chairman of the board to sign a real superstar. Next week is the decade of SmackDown celebration. The following week, and each week thereafter, it will all be about Drew McIntyre. Later on tonight, we’ve got a big party in his honor. All the members of the roster will be there to welcome him to SmackDown, and McIntyre assures us that the party has just begun…

What’s Up…

R-Truth ruins McIntyre’s moment by dancing and rapping his way down through the crowd. Truth asks McIntyre to allow Truth to welcome him to SmackDown. Then Truth attacks him, until referees break up the brawl.

Up next, it’s Batista taking on The Big Show!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

WWE Smack of the Night: Batista nails the Spinebuster on Jericho, and then in their match later, reverses the Codebreaker into the Batista Bomb.

Chris Jericho accompanies his tag team partner, The Big Show, to the ring for this following contest. The Animal makes his way to the ring, and we’re set for action between two of the biggest men on SmackDown.

Batista def. The Big Show

Wow. Batista is a big guy – and he’s dwarfed by The Big Show, who outpowers The Animal early on, much to the delight of Chris Jericho. Batista decides that the power game isn’t working, and he uses his quickness to get the best of The Big Show as we head to a

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

When we come back, however, it’s Big Show in complete control. Jericho screams at Jim Ross to tell the people that The Big Show is The Animal. Show hits the Final Cut, which I haven’t seen him do in forever, but he only gets a two count. Batista tries to mount a comeback, but it doesn’t last for very long. Big Show bodyslams Batista and climbs the ropes, looking for sort of a VaderBomb/Elbow Drop combo, which Batista avoids. The Animal drops Big Show with a spear and goes for a Batista Bomb, but it’s no use. Show goes for the chokeslam, but Batista elbows his way out of it – and locks The Big Show in an ankle lock! Kurt Angle is breaking furniture somewhere in Pittsburgh right about now. Jericho gets in the ring, and gets a spinebuster and ankle lock – and his partner disqualified – for his trouble.

Last week, Teddy Long was playanapped by The Undertaker. I know that’s how I started the review, but they’re showing the highlights again, so I’m repeating myself too.

Still to come, it’s CM Punk vs. The Undertaker.

In his office, Teddy Long is shaking his head. Mr. McMahon enters his office and demands an explanation for his tattered clothing. Long says he’d been to hell and back and he apologizes. Mr. McMahon says he’s not surprised, and doesn’t want to be Teddy Long, CM Punk, or that referee. He asks where his picture is. Long says the picture is here, but it’s not finished yet, and Long didn’t want to put it up until it was finished. He says it didn’t have the right frame. Mr. McMahon wants to see it anyway. Long goes to fetch it, and the look on the chairman’s face turns sour. The camera shows Mr. McMahon’s picture with “Vinnie Da Mac” spraypainted on it. McMahon says that if Long messes with him, he’ll make hell look like Sunday School, and he tells long to “just holla.”

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

John Morrison and The Miz were recently participants on “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader.” It’s airing this Tuesday night on MyNetwork TV.

Cryme Tyme are on their way to the ring. JTG is in singles competition. His opponent is David Hart Smith.

David Hart Smith def. JTG

JTG gets the early jump on Smith, but it doesn’t take long for Smith to get the power game going. It becomes a good back and forth matchup, but kind of feels like the old WWF Superstars of Wrestling for a while, because the announcers are too busy talking about CM Punk vs. The Undertaker at Hell In A Cell. In the end, Natalya and Eve start to brawl on the outside and in the confusion, Tyson Kidd kicks JTG in the head, allowing Smith to pick up the victory.

Still to come, The Undertaker takes on CM Punk.

Earlier tonight, Batista earned a disqualification victory and adds a new move to his arsenal. Up next, Josh Matthews talks to Batista.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Next week on Friday Night SmackDown, it’s a decade of SmackDown celebration, and we’ll see The Undertaker team with John Cena and DX to take on CM Punk, Randy Orton, and Legacy.

Right now, Josh Matthews is with Batista. He asks The Animal who his partner will be since he’s apparently challenging for the Tag Team Championships. Batista says it’s one of his best friends, and a former World Heavyweight Champion. Batista says that Jericho and The Big Show won’t have their belts for much longer because he and his partner have their number – and his partner’s number is 619!

The World Heavyweight Champion, CM Punk makes his way out to the ring and seems to be in a good mood. Earlier tonight, Teddy Long revealed that the Hell’s Gate submission is no longer banned, and that Punk will be facing Undertaker inside Hell In A Cell at the PPV of the same name.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

The bell tolls, the lights go down, and The Phenom of the WWE, The Undertaker, makes his way to the ring.

CM Punk def. The Undertaker

A hard fought match between these two guys, at a bit slower pace than what I’m used to seeing from Punk, but still entertaining nonetheless. In the end, Punk fought out of a chokeslam attempt with a kick to the temple, but wound up caught in the Hell’s Gate. Luckily for the Champion, he was close to the ropes. When The Undertaker broke the hold, Punk went to the outside of the ring and retrieved his championship, but was met with The Undertaker’s fist when he turned around. Undertaker attempted a Last Ride through the announce table, but Punk escaped and made it back in, beating the 10 count and getting the countout victory.

Following the match, Punk ran up to the top of the ramp and held his title high as SmackDown goes off the air.

My Thoughts: It says a lot about this show that even a match between The Big Show and Batista can be great. Personally, I think it was better than the Punk/Undertaker match that closed the show. It pains me to say that The Undertaker has definitely lost a step since his return. He can still go, but he’s a far cry from the man who’s going to get match of the year honors come December for his WrestleMania 25 battle with Shawn Michaels. In any event, I can’t wait for next Friday’s Decade of SmackDown show!

Post by thinksojoe

The founder of BoredWrestlingFan.com and it’s parent company, Fropac Entertainment, ThinkSoJoE has been a wrestling fan since he first saw WWF television in 1986 at the age of four. His first wrestling memory was Hulk Hogan on Saturday Night’s Main Event talking about getting King Kong Bundy in a cage at WrestleMania 2. Sixteen years later, he met Hulk Hogan on the eve of WrestleMania X-8. On December 9, 2013, he legitimately won a Slammy Award (Best Crowd of the Year). ThinkSoJoE currently hosts the weekly BWF Radio podcast.


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2 Comments

  1. I need to stop reading reviews from most other places. I think that we're the only people who like the Drew McIntyre push from Vince. Sure, Punk made essentially the same promo that he has made for the past several weeks, but heels do that to be annoying, and no one griped about Jeff Hardy repeating himself every week. Agreed on Undertaker. He has always been one of my favorites, but he just isn't as there as he used to be. I thoroughly enjoyed the show.

    Food for thought: Vince is face-ish against Teddy Long and CM Punk, yet heel-ish by associating with Drew McIntyre and insulting Oklahoma, the fans, and JR. Aside from forcing himself on a show that doesn't need him to be great, if Vince turns out to be behind the ppv "screwjob," and they bring in Bret Hart, … I'm just sayin'.


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