TNA Impact; 06/03/2014; Meh.
Leave a CommentI was woken early by my postman. Damn I’m tired. I also have new socks though.
I was woken early by my postman. Damn I’m tired. I also have new socks though.
MATCH RESULTS
RYBACK DEF. TITUS O’NEIL – Total domination by Ryback, until Darien Young interfered by grabbing Ryback’s ankle. O’Neil hit one inverted Power Bomb for a brief one-count. Still, the match ended the same way all Ryback matches end; power-bomb, shell-shock, three-count.
After the match, Ryback refused to leave the ring until he got his hands on WWE Heavyweight Champion C.M. Punk, Paul Heyman, or the three men who jumped him two days in a row. A line of security guards come-out, but Ryback tossed the biggest one first, and the rest scattered.
RAW Supervisor Vicki Guerro came out to order him out of the ring, Ryback told her to shut up (which won him a ton of new fans,) and demanded revenge. Vicki gave him a match against Punk at TLC. Ryback demanded that it be made a TLC match (Tables, Ladders, and Chairs.) Vicki agreed, and Ryback left the ring.
ALBERTO DEL RIO DEF. THE GREAT KAHLI – This match was set up with a pre-recorded backstage segment, where Rosa Mendes demanded an apology from Hornswoggle, for squirting water in her face, with trick flowers last week. Hornswoggle called her conceited, and Alberto Del Rio stepped in, offering to beat him up. Kahli stepped in to scare him off. Kahli actually dominates most of the match, but a distraction by Roberto Rodriguez (Del Rio’s personal ring announcer,) sets up Kahli for an attack from behind. Del Rio hits the arm-bar for a win by submission.
TAMINA DEF. ALICIA FOX – Basically, Tamina slaps Alicia around and ends this with a splash of the top, for a three-count.
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON DEF. TENSAI – Wade Barrett, Kofi’s next challenger, Wade Barrett joins the commentary team at ringside. Tensai’s size advantage gives him an edge for a good amount of time, but Kofi hits a big kick and a flying body press for the three-count.
After the match, Barrett walked into the ring, gave Kofi the title belt, and then walked off without incident.
REY MYSTERIO DEF. WWE TAG-TEAM CHAMPION DANIEL BRYAN – One of the best matches on TV this year. Both men relied on their agility and quick last-second escapes and counters to keep the tide turning back and forth. Bryan focused on beat-downs and wearing down the arm, Mysterio countered with bursts of fast-paced offense. Match ends with a 619/Dropping a Dime combo by Mysterio for a pin on Bryan.
JOHN CENA DEF. DOLPH ZIGGLER – This match was set up after a segment with Vicki Guerro offering Cena and AJ matching bathrobes (see below.) People, who criticize Cena for his “five moves of doom,” need to acknowledge Ziggler does the same thing (if not everybody in WWE,). That said, this was a good, solid match. One point of contention is Cena NO-SELLING the “bad knee,” until a specific spot at the end. Going for the “five knuckle shuffle,” Cena stumbles out of the ring, the ref and another WWE official check to see if he can continue, while Ziggler exposes a turnbuckle. AJ runs out to stop him and Vicki runs out to pull AJ off the ring. The ladies have a stare-down while Ziggler goes after Cena with his MiTB briefcase. Cena ducks Ziggler’s swing and hooks the “AA,” for a three-count. Cena celebrates with AJ, FORGETTING ALL ABOUT THE BAD KNEE.
SHEAMUS DEF. U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO – This was a straight up brawl between two big workhorses. Highlight of the match is Cesaro catching Sheamus and hoisting him up, and dropping him hard. Picture a combo of Lex Luger’s “torture rack” and Ryback’s “Shell-Shock.” Match ends with Sheamus escaping the “neutralizer” with a back-drop and a Brogue-kick to Cesaro. Cesaro goes out to the floor and gets counted out.
World Heavyweight Champion Big Show comes out with a chair. Sheamus grabs the mike and tells Big Show he will be happy to retire him at TLC, and just how barbaric he can be. Show responds by destroying the chair with his bare hands.
DAMIEN SANDOW DEF. ZACK RYDER – Not much more than filler. Ryder had a decent showing here, but the match ends with Sandow using his neck-breaker variant to get the three-count.
Side Note: Ring announcer Justin Roberts waited for Zack Ryder to get in the ring before announcing him, Michael Cole slipped back into “heel” mode to give him grief about it.
WWE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION C.M. PUNK DEF. KANE – Our Main Event for the evening. And yes, this did take the show over three hours, again. There is a weird spot in the match when Punk slides to the outside, and starts favoring his right knee. Kane was as close to Punk as THESEWORDSARETOEACHOTHER but did NOTHING to him. Kane let Punk slide back in and pull him neck first into the top rope. Now here’s the weird thing, the announcers (Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler,) never acknowledged ANY of this, even though Punk was right in front of the camera, limping and acting like he was hurt for real the whole time. It’s weird because this is, to my understanding, standard procedure when someone gets legit hurt during a match, gloss over it, don’t call it, and keep the show going. So, I have to wonder if Punk really was hurt. The match ended when the three NXT talents, Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, and Reigns (now called “The Shield”) came out to distract Kane. Punk hit the GTS and got the three.
After the match, the Shield teased going for Punk, but pilled on Kane. Daniel Bryan tried to make the save, but got beat down. Ryback charged down and took over on the Shield. Punk took a cheap shot at Ryback, but Ryback caught him. Ryback went for a power-bomb, but Reigns took him down with a spear. Monday Night RAW ends with C.M. Punk holding his belt in the air; and his foot on Ryback’s chest; for the second time in a week.
ANGLES AND SEGMENTS
1.) RYBACK/VICKI – Our first interview segment would have to be Vicki Guerro trying to talk Ryback out of the ring after his match (setting up his match w/Punk at TLC.) Not a shining moment for either one of them. Huge gaps between the dialogue and you could tell they didn’t talk over each other when they were supposed to. Seriously, don’t give Ryback more lines than he needs.
2.) Backstage: Hornswoggle, Rosa, Del Rio, and KHALI – Basic segment just to set up their match, seemed pretty damn elaborate for a match that wasn’t anything special.
3.) GM’S OFFICE: VICKI, HEYMAN, PUNK – Punk came in to complain about having to face Ryback, Heyman suggested Vicki was trying to compensate for her bias against Cena and AJ, and Vicki flat out accused Punk of calling in the “Shield” to cover his ass. Vicki sets up a match between Punk and the winner of a RAW-active Twitter Poll, #WWEKane or #WWEBryan (see above.) Interesting to see Punk get the shaft from a “fellow” heel; it gives Vicki an extra character dimension, and it makes you wonder what it is EVERYBODY hates about Punk.
4.) THE SHEILD SPEAKS – We see a pre-recorded interview with Michael Cole and the three NXT talents who’ve taken it on themselves to attack Ryback twice, (Ambrose, Rollin, and Reigns.) They deny any affiliation with C.M. Punk, and claim they were acting against injustice. They accused WWE of being an elaborate popularity contest, and stated that C.M. Punk had every right to celebrate his One Year anniversary as champion, arguing they would’ve done the same thing if Ryback or Cena had been champion and Punk tried to disrupt them. They declared themselves The Shield and cut the interview short. Interesting aspect; as the Shield’s mission statement seems to have themes in common with the IWC’s constant complaints about WWE.
5.) VICKI, CENA, AJ, AND ZIGGLER – Basically, Cena comes out to address the “kiss” from last week. Vicki comes out to trash AJ and present Cena with a “gift,” of matching bathrobes and to warn Cena about the inevitable implosion. She points out AJ’s relationship drama with Punk/Bryan and Kane. AJ comes out to tell off Vicki and blatantly shoves her attraction to Cena in everyone’s face. Ziggler comes out to remind everyone that he took out Cena last week in the locker room, and Cena jumped him from behind on Smackdown. Cena tries to go after him, but Vicki orders him to stop and makes a match between Ziggler and Cena later that night. The match ends with Cena getting the win. CAN WE END THIS NOW!? I am PRAYING that this is the end of the AJ “scandal,” and I will spend the rest of my life wondering WTF this was supposed to accomplish.
On paper, this was a good RAW, with a lot more actual wrestling and a lot of solid match-ups, however the angle segments really weighted down the show.
MATCH RESULTS
RYBACK DEF JTG – Total Squash; JTG is for all intents and purposes a jobber. Ryback hits the shell shock for the three-count.
ORTON DEF BARRETT – We get a re-cap of Barrett’s win on the last Smackdown. Hard-hitting match; ending with an RKO out of nowhere. Orton gets the win.
WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS HELL NO DEF PRIME TIME PLAYERS – Side note; the PTP were wearing ALL Pink for this match. I don’t know if that was for the Breast Cancer campaign, or they got heat from the front office. Team Hell No wins despite arguing with each other.
WWE I-C CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON DEF WWE U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO BY DQ – Miz joins the announce team for this one, and distracts Kofi, allowing Cesaro to get a shot in. Kofi tosses Cesaro right on top of Miz a few seconds later. Miz attacks Kofi, getting Cesaro DQ’d. R-Truth runs out to save Kofi from the double team by Miz/Cesaro.
3MB DEF CO-BRO – Santino knocks Drew McIntyre off the ring w/a flying “Cobra” shot, but this gives Heath Slater the opening to hit a swinging neck-breaker with the leg for a pin fall.
AJ DEF BETH PHEONIX – AJ wins with a small package, but Vicki comes out, saying she demands better of her roster, so after distracting AJ long enough for Beth to hit a clothesline…
BETH PHEONIX DEF AJ – With the Glam Slam, for a three-count.
RHODES SCHOLARS DEF SIN-STERIO – Sandow hits the neck-breaker on Sin Cara after a three way brawl on the outside with Cara, Cody Rhodes and Mysterio.
ALBERTO DEL RIO DEF JUSTIN GABRIEL – ADR locks in an arm-bar submission, and nothing much else to see here people.
BACKSTAGE SEGMENTS AND PROMOS
We opened with a recap of referee Brian Maddox screwing Ryback out of the WWE title by helping defending champ C.M. Punk w/a low blow and a fast count.
WWE champ C.M. Punk hobbles to the ring with Paul Heyman and his belt in tow. He denies having anything to do with Maddox and points out Maddox screwing him over with a bad call two weeks ago in a tag team match. Punk runs down a list of enemies and victories, saying he is kryptonite to resident “superman” John Cena, and declares himself “In-erasable,” (in regards to WWE wanting to erase him from history.) Mick Foley is out next. Punk compares Foley to Hurricane Sandy, and Foley craps on Punk making light of a tragedy. He gets the cheap pop for Charlotte North Carolina, and tells Punk he blew the choice Foley gave him a few weeks ago. He yells at Punk about tradition, to which Punk responds by showing Foley his bandages.
“THIS IS WHAT YOUR TRADITION DOES.”– C.M. Punk
Foley challenges Punk to a traditional Survivor Series match, Team Foley vs. Team Punk. Punk accepts, and Ryback comes out for his match. Punk and Heyman bail.
Backstage; Vicki is interviewing AJ. Seems the board of directors wants Vicki to consider hiring her back as a Diva. Vicki takes the opportunity to torment AJ with the “c” word.
After the Hell-no/PTP match, Vicki comes out to address the crowd about the Cena/AJ “scandal.” Cena comes out to confront Vicki. Vicki says she has video proof of their “relationship.” We are shown in order…
Recap:
Vicki calls John full of excuses and starts ragging on AJ about flirting with John. John cuts her off, and out comes Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler says this is all because of John’s “sophomoric urges.” Cena shoves Ziggler on his posterior and we go to break.
After the Kofi/Cesaro match, Vicki goes back to AJ (Yes, this was stretched out into three segments.) After more ragging, Vicki offers AJ back her job if she’ll just admit to thinking John is attractive. AJ refuses to compromise Cena and tries to walk off. Vicki calls her back, and decides to give her back her job (MAKING ALL THIS A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME.) She gives AJ a match with Beth Phoenix (see above,) later that night and warns AJ that if she ever touches her again, she’s gone. AJ says thanks, and skips off smiling.
After the Divas match, we get a word from Sheamus. He’s bummed about losing the title, but doesn’t regret anything because he was in the best fight he’s had since coming to the WWE. He promises to bring the fight to Big Show and next time, he’ll win the war and the world’s championship. Big Show comes out to gloat and rub the belt in Sheamus’ face. He calls Sheamus a “Ginger Snap.” Sheamus responds…
“Have you ever seen a Ginger Snap?” – Sheamus
Sheamus follows that up with an EFFORTLESS “White Noise” on Big Show. Sheamus walks off while Big Show recovers.
After a look at Sports Business Journal’s piece on Wrestlemania, we go backstage with Cena and AJ talking about their night. Cena leaves and AJ gives him the same stare she used to give C.M. Punk. (RUN JOHN! THIS ENDS BADLY!) Vicki spies on them from a few feet back. She starts after AJ but is interrupted by Beth Phoenix, who thanks her for restarting the match. Vicki resents being put in that position, and FIRES BETH! Side Note: Sara Del Ray gets a glimpse into a possible alternate future.
After the Sinsterio/Rhodes Scholars match, we’re backstage with Foley and Kaitlyn gushing about WWE 13 coming out Tuesday, when Heyman makes himself known. They hype up their presentation on their Survivor Series teams later tonight.
After a break, we get a video package of the WWE’s Breast Cancer Awareness Promotion with the Susan G. Komen foundation. After a lengthy rundown of all they’ve been doing, we get a ceremony in the ring where John Cena presents SGK reps with a check for ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
You know, I gotta admit. This was something. For whatever reason, WWE committed to this and did something really positive. I give them kudos.
After the Del Rio/Gabriel match and a break, we get our Main Event of the evening; Punk and Foley introducing their Survivor Series teams. Heyman has assembled the Miz, Team Rhodes Scholars, and Alberto Del Rio. Foley has Kofi, Team Hell No, Randy Orton, and RYBACK as the big surprise. This ends in a wild brawl (of course,) and Punk bails on his team while Ryback stares at him. After passing up the chance to end the damn show for three minutes, Ryback crushes Cody in the Shellshock, and we end.
Impact recaps Aces and 8’s attack on HH and Sting.
(more…)
Here is another rousing edition of Pintnoir’s Impact Wrestling Review. We’re a little over 10 days away from Bobby Roode vs Kurt Angle at Bound for Glory. Beer Money comes to the ring to tell the fans in Knoxville, TN (Yes in a actual arena!) that they will get a show tonight that neither man will bring nothing less than 100%, which Roode makes Storm promise is exactly what is going to be done. Here’s to another actual good closing match.
Promo: Sting see’s a wall picture of a clown and kicks into joker mode. (God, I hope after BFG, the insane icon goes back to being just “the icon”)
If only we could.
Gunner comes out to the ring to face Kazarian after his attack on him last week. A decent match which ends in Gunner putting Kaz in the hospital with an arm bar submission maneuver. Essential Gunner wins the match but since he wouldn’t release the hold the victory went to Kaz.
Anderson comes out to shoot an in ring promo about how his “assholes” have his back. This talk prompts Bully Ray to come out and in typical heel fashion leads to Ray saying that he has beaten Anderson enough and will not give him another chance. Anderson entices Ray like a dog being given a treat with the prospect of a falls counts anywhere match. Game on.
A shout out to Community and Anderson's fanbase
“Let the Pigeon’s loose!” A knockout tag team match is coming up. Bischoff comments on Hulk Hogan’s retirement. Kendrick babbles on while Kid Kash walks behind and decides to kick his ass because he mentioned his name.
why does he beat on little people? Because he can.
The Pigeons are on their mark...and getting ready
Mickie James/Velvet Sky vs Winter (c)/Madison Rayne w/Angelina Love…take on the Sitas and you would have bulk of the entire knockout roster.
Match is decent when its going. In heelish fashion Angelina interferes not once but twice and on the second try almost costs Winter the match only for Madison to roll in and pin Velvet while holding the trunks. *sidebar* when is this whole roll-up pin from a smaller wrestler on a larger wrestler going to stop being taken a gospel with the knockouts, it really is just embarrassing.
Kurt Angle and Eric Bischoff are in the back talking about the screw-up Jeff Hardy and how Angle stepping out again to tell him to leave. Eric tells Angle that he’ll handle it. Cut to the ring Eric calls out Jeff. He calls him on coming out pilled out of his gourd at Victory Road tells him to get gone, in which Hardy responds with a twist o’ fate and a screw you before running into the crowd. Ah, have to love redemption.
Samoa Joe vs Crimson. Again. What starts as a pretty decent match with Joe dominating and Crimson getting the occasional offense leads to Joe putting Crimson in a modified ankle lock. Which Crimson reverses into a roll up pin. Crimson’s streak continues and Joe is fuming.
Another Bobby Roode highlight promo where they talk to his mother this time about how he always wanted to be champion. It was good seeing his team Canada days with Scott D’Amore. Here’s to Roode winning. But first he still has to face Storm.
Roode vs Storm, a good back and forth with each wrestler scouting the other. Even having a stare off right before a commercial interrupts. (damn commercials with their making money and all.) Superplexes, top rope neckbreakers a missed Last Call from Storm eventually lead to a ref bump with caused Roode to be laid out and Storm on the outside which caused Angle to run in and throw Storm head first into the ring steps, then rolling him into the ring. Roode goes for the pin only getting a two count. This is before he pulls off the Fishermen suplex for the win.
Hogan’s retirement was its usual cheese that he used over in Vince’s country only this time with a swerve when Sting comes to the ring all crack jokered out and shows footage of Hogan dissing the fans and admitting to snowballing them into buying merchandise and ducking Sting. Hogan is so mad that he challenges Sting not to a match but to a fight with the company on the line. Which of course Hogan regrets.
A Dawn of a new era