I was sick yesterday and I’m just now sitting down to watch SmackDown. So we’re gonna do things a little differently this week – I’m going to watch the show, and I’ll post my thoughts and the match results afterwards. Ready? Here we go.
WWE SmackDown Episode 533: “I Walk Alone”
What’s up everyone. Hope everyone had a happy and safe Halloween. I sure did, maybe a little too much fun. Well let’s get this show on the road so I can go back to nursing my hangover: (more…)
I just saw a mouse run by. Seriously. That’s my intro for tonight’s SmackDown review. “I just saw a mouse run by.” Actually, I wanted to try and catch it and put it outside (I’m a humanitarian, I guess. Or I just have a soft spot for rodents, since I used to have pet rats. Hey, just like Bad News Brown when he was feuding with Jake Roberts!), but I couldn’t find him by time I bothered to get up to look. Anyways, if you guys like Michael Jackson, “This Is It” is not only a great movie, but it’s the reason I’m doing this review after SmackDown airs here in the United States instead of before like I usually do.
Ok, enough stalling. SmackDown episode number 232: “I’ll give you something to brag about.”
This is going to be a quick post, since I haven’t actually seen most of the PPV. We’re looking for somebody to cover the WWE Pay-Per-View events starting with Survivor Series next month, so if you’re interested, let us know on Twitter or Facebook or Myspace or wherever.
Anyways…
The Miz def. John Morrison
RAW leads 1-0
Michelle McCool, Beth Phoenix, and Natalya def. Melina, Gail Kim, and Kelly Kelly
We’re now tied at 1
The Undertaker def. Batista, Rey Mysterio, & CM Punk to retain the World Heavyweight Championship
After the match, Batista destroyed Rey Mysterio
Team SmackDown def. Team RAW
The Big Show turned on RAW, chokeslamming Kofi Kingston and allowing Jericho to pick up the win.
John Cena def. Randy Orton 6 – 5
This match was far better than I’d expected – at least, what I saw of it. Orton tried everything to keep Cena down, including trying to blow him up in the pyro, but Cena wouldn’t stay down. At one point, the doctors superglued a cut on Cena’s forehead to close up the wound. Somewhere, Sabu is laughing his ass off. In any event, with the score tied at 5, Cena locked in the STF and got the tapout with just five seconds remaining. From what I understand, the clock kept running despite the fact that there should have been a 30 second rest period as there was through the duration of the rest of the match. Ah well. Guess I’ll be seeing Cena in Buffalo tomorrow night after all.
That’s it for tonight, folks. Join us tomorrow as our Empress of Impact, Drowgoddess, becomes our Reina of RAW! I’ll have photos and thoughts from the HSBC Arena sometime after the event, so stay tuned for that as well.
What’s up, fellow Bored Wrestling Fans! This Monday night, yours truly will be at the HSBC Arena for RAW! Will I be watching the show that proves to be the dominant brand in sports entertainment, or will I be on the loser show? Also, will John Cena be on RAW this Monday? These questions will be answered tomorrow night at WWE Bragging Rights. Here’s what the BWF staff had to say about each match.
WWE Championship Iron Man Match: John Cena vs. Randy Orton (c)
JT: As much as Cen need a change of scenery and him going to Smackdown would be a goog thing, I just don’t see it happening just yet. Cena wins.
Drowgoddess: Cena wins. I would like to be pleasantly surprised with this, as I’m a huge fan of the “60-Minute Iron Man” match, but I just don’t know if these two can go that long without a lot of stalling and padding.
RYTMAN: Orton beats Cena (w/screwjob finish.) Cena to Smackdown.
The Green Teabagger: Cena wins the WWE Title back (yeah, I know).
ThinkSoJoE: I think moving to SmackDown would be beneficial for Cena at this point in his career, though as much as I’d love to attend a Cena-free RAW on Monday, my head tells me it’s not happening. Cena is arguably the biggest star in the company, and will most likely stay on the flagship show. Cena wins.
World Heavyweight Championship Fatal Four Way: CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Batista vs. The Undertaker (c)
JT: Ugh, this shoud Punk’s one on one match, not a fatal four way. Having said that, I’m going with Punk with the surprise win here, forwarding the upcoming Batista heel turn.
Drowgoddess: A Punk win would please me greatly. The odds are so stacked against him that a sneaky, stolen win would be a surprise. That said, I think they’ll have Taker retain.
RYTMAN: Undertaker retains, Batista gets pissed.
The Green Teabagger: Punk wins his belt back.
ThinkSoJoE: Mysterio will somehow cost Batista the win here, but I can’t see Mysterio winning the title either. I think it’s too soon for him to lose it, so I’d say Taker retains.
SmackDown vs. RAW: The Miz vs. John Morrison
JT: A loss by Morrison here won’t hurt him but willdo wonders for The Miz. The Miz Wins
Drowgoddess: The real winner here is the audience. I honestly don’t know that I care who wins this match, I’d be happy with either one. For the sake of a good story, I’ll pick the Miz.
RYTMAN: Morrison beats Miz.
The Green Teabagger: Shawn Michaels beats Marty Jannetty John Morrison beats The Miz
ThinkSoJoE: Because of the chemistry these two have, both as partners and opponents, and because there was no real feud between the two following The Miz dropping Morrison on RAW when he got drafted, The Miz is going to win this one. Morrison will eventually get his rematch – and his revenge. I’m calling it – Miz vs. Morrison at WM26.
14 Man SmackDown vs. RAW tag team match – Chris Jericho, Kane, Matt Hardy, Finlay, R-Truth, and The Hart Dynasty vs. DX, The Big Show, Jack Swagger, Kofi Kingston, Cody Rhodes, and Mark Henry.
JT: With the changes being made to this match at the last minute leads me more to believe that Team RAW wins here, at least with the original team there was potential for an upset.
Drowgoddess: Despite the changes to the “Smackdown” team, I’m pretty sure that the RAW team is winning here.
RYTMAN: Team Raw buries team Smackdown.
The Green Teabagger: D-X beats Smackdown when Big Show “betrays” Raw and D-X overcomes it. The other five members of the Raw team will be beaten up either way, and no one will remember that they won too.
ThinkSoJoE: Given that all of Team SmackDown, other than captains Jericho and Kane of course, actually lost their qualifying matches to get into this match, and that DX is captaining the other team, yeah, it’s unanimous – all of BWF are picking Team RAW.
6 Diva SmackDown vs. RAW tag team match – Michelle McCool, Beth Phoenix, & Natalya vs. Melina, Gail Kim, & Kelly Kelly
JT: Since the 14 man match will be the decider matchup and I picked the Miz, I’ll go with the Smackdown Divas here.
Drowgoddess: I can’t stand McCool, but I love Beth Phoenix and Natalya, and want to see them win. That said, I’m thinking Melina, Gail, and Kelly get the actual victory when Beth breaks McCool in half.
RYTMAN: I think Divas match is McCool vs. Melina. I’ll say Melina. (Note: RYTMAN got this to me before the match was officially announced)
The Green Teabagger: I don’t give a damn. If there is any justice, Beth Phoenix will just go apeshit and tear everyone apart. Hell, Smackdown wins this one.
ThinkSoJoE: There is no way in hell that the RAW Divas should be able to win this with Beth Phoenix and Natalya on Team SmackDown. But of course, if The Miz is going to win his match, Team RAW has to win this one to make it seem like RAW is still the dominant brand.
Thanks for visiting us here at BoredWrestlingFan.com today, come back tomorrow for an all new Random Randomness, as well as Bragging Rights coverage!
Tonight, The Undertaker defends his World Heavyweight Championship against CM Punk in a submission match! Will lightning strike twice? We’ll find out tonight on Friday Night SmackDown!
Following a brief promo video for tonight’s main event, the terrible new SmackDown theme plays and we’re live from the University of South Carolina with RAW’s announce team calling the action! Later on tonight, it’s Batista and Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho and Kane. Jim Ross isn’t feeling well. The King says that it won’t be the same without Todd Grisham and Jim Ross – it’ll be better!
Chris Jericho makes his way out first. He’s the captain of Team SmackDown this Sunday at Bragging Rights, and this past Monday on RAW, they tried to ambush Shawn Michaels, but Team RAW arrived to deny them the opportunity. Jericho says that his legendary status will be further cemented when he becomes known as the mastermind who led team SmackDown to a crushing victory over team RAW this Sunday. He wins whenever he wrestles, his greatness is omnipotent. In order to shut up DX, he needs to tweak his team a little. He needs to know that the men on his team are worthy to stand in the same ring as Chris Jericho. They’ll prove their dominance at Bragging Rights, just as he and Kane will prove their dominance against Batista and Mysterio tonight.
Yo yo yo yo yo, it’s Cryme Tyme!
JTG shows up without Shad, and Jericho asks if he’s in jail. JTG says he’s got the flu. Jericho says that being on the same team as JTG makes him sick. Does JTG know what an honor it is to be in the same ring as Chris Jericho?
EXCUSE ME!
Vickie Guerrero, the official consultant for Team SmackDown, would like to welcome the future of SmackDown, her new boyfriend, Eric Escobar. Escobar’s heard a lot of talk from DX saying they don’t know who he is. Neither does the WWE Universe, apparently, because they’re chanting “who are you?” He says that after he leads the team to victory, DX will never forget the name Eric Escobar
I am perfection!
Dolph Ziggler says that if anybody is going to be responsible for this team winning at Bragging Rights, it’s Dolph Ziggler, and he’s not going to let any of them screw it up for him. JTG asks what he knows about winning, when he lost four Intercontinental Title shots in a row, and then lost Maria. Talking about screwing up? His name should be Dolph Loser. Drew McIntyre makes his way out and says that Jericho has an ace up his sleeve with McIntyre on the team. Hand picked and personally signed by Mr. McMahon himself. He says he should’ve been named captain.
KABOOM!
Kane comes to the ring, and he says that none of these guys are worthy to fight alongside Kane. Jericho steps in and says “or me!” Kane advised Jericho that, since they’ll be busy with Batista and Mysterio tonight, the other four of them should be busy too. After all, they want to be on the team, don’t they? Jericho says that since one of them called in sick, they’re stuck in a four on five tag match tonight, and if they lose, they’ll be replaced by the five men who beat them tonight. That way we’ll see if you have what it takes to be in the same ring as Chris Jericho and Kane. By the way, that match is NEXT!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Matt Hardy is on his way to the ring when we come back, joining a few other superstars in the ring. R-Truth is out next, rapping and dancing as usual, much to the chagrin of Drew McIntyre. Already in the ring for the team are David Hart Smith, Tyson Kidd, and Finlay.
Matt Hardy, The Hart Dynasty, R-Truth, and Finlay def. Eric Escobar, Drew McIntyre, JTG, and Dolph Ziggler
There’s a new mandate here on BoredWrestlingFan. Anybody who reviews a Matt Hardy match MUST comment on how fat he looks in tights, until he either loses weight or switches back to pants. You know what, I figured it out. It’s not that the tights look bad on him, it’s the fact he wears boots that are the exact same color as his tights and he looks like he’s wearing footy pajamas. It’s distracting – I can’t even really call the match. In the end, it’s Finlay with the shillelagh shot to JTG’s leg and a Twist of Fate from Fatt Hardy for the victory.
So now it’s Chris Jericho, Kane, Matt Hardy, Finlay, R-Truth, and the Hart Dynasty taking on DX, Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger, Mark Henry, The Big Show, and Kofi Kingston.
CM Punk is telling Scott Armstrong that he doesn’t seem to understand the severity of the situation. He says that Armstrong is being selfish. It’s not about him or his family’s legacy, it’s all about CM Punk. Teddy Long says he’s still on probation and could lose his job over this, and worse, he could lose his life if he’s not careful. Punk wants to know why they understood what was going on in Montreal, but now they’re second guessing themselves. Armstrong says that a man is nothing without his good name. He says that Punk can find someone else to do his dirty work. Mr. McMahon comes in and says “we need to talk.”
John Morrison is backstage, walking. Guess that means he’s in action, NEXT!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Later on, it’s Jericho & Kane vs. Mysterio & Batista
Intercontinental Champion John Morrison and his cool slo-mo entrance are here for action. Sunday he’ll be facing the United States Champion, The Miz. The Miz beat Marty Jannetty on Monday with the Skull Crushing Finale. Morrison’s opponent tonight is far from Marty Jannetty. He’s Mike Knox, and earlier today, he said that blunt abdominal trauma is the worst pain a human body can experience, and then went on to explain why.
John Morrison def. Mike Knox
You know, Mike Knox doesn’t get enough credit. I’m a huge fan of his, and I love the medical genius gimmick. Morrison is very impressive as well, and in this matchup he uses his finesse and quickness to keep control. Even after a huge boot to Morrison’s face, his quickness allows him to regain control in mere moments, and hit the Starship Pain for the win.
Morrison takes the microphone and says that This Sunday he faces The Miz. While The Miz is busy trying to prove that he’s Shawn Michaels, or that he’s not Marty Jannetty, Morrison knows who he is – the Friday Night Delight, John Morrison.
Still to come, a submission match for the World Heavyweight Championship!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Backstage, the new Team SmackDown are celebrating when Chris Jericho and Kane come to congratulate them. They expect the team to follow their lead. R-Truth says to save the Patton speech. They may not like him, but they respect him. The all agree that they’re on the same page, they’re going to prove that their the superior brand this Sunday. Jericho says he wants them to watch he and Kane destroy Mysterio and Batista the same way they’ll destroy Team RAW on Sunday.
Mickie James is hanging out with Mae Young. Michelle McCool comes in and says it’s nice to see Mae, but not so much Mickie. Michelle says it’s a shame Mickie didn’t make the SmackDown Divas team at Bragging Rights, but Beth Phoenix and Natalya are so much more talented than her (ThinkSoJoE Note: IT’S A SHOOT!). Mickie tells Michelle to keep telling herself that. The fact is that Michelle is scared because she knows Mickie is her biggest threat and that she’ll take that Women’s Championship from her. Beth Phoenix comes in and compliments Mae and tells Michelle that she’s thrilled to be a part of Team SmackDown at Bragging Rights, but reminds her that she shouldn’t plan on holding the title very long. She’ll see her Sunday. Mae says “she told you!” Michelle tells her to shut up, and gets slapped across the face for her trouble.
Last week on SmackDown, Mysterio stole a victory – literally – from Batista. Batista says his shoulder was up. Rey says all he knows is the referee counted three. Anyways, Mysterio and his family checked out the new Batista DVD over the weekend. He says he learned a lot about his friend that he didn’t know before. Batista says he wishes they put him winning the title at Bragging Rights on there. Mysterio says that’s gonna be hard, because he’s going to win the title on Sunday night. They’re in action, NEXT!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Booyakah Booyakah – whatever that means. Rey Mysterio makes his way out for tag team action. Batista follows soon after. Jericho is out first for his team, followed by Kane, and we’re set for tag team action.
Rey Mysterio & Batista def. Chris Jericho & Kane
The story through this one is Mysterio being cut off from Batista and dominated by Jericho and Kane. When Mysterio finally gets the tag, Batista explodes on Kane. He drops him with a spinebuster and goes for a Batista Bomb when Jericho breaks it up. Kane slams Batista shoulder first into the steel ringpost, but Mysterio stops him from going for the chokeslam – only to take on himself. Batista uses the distraction to hit a spear on Kane and pick up the victory.
Mr. McMahon says he’s excited for tonight’s championship match. He’s proud of Punks accomplishments so far. He says that Long earns a gold star for making this match tonight. He tells Armstrong to be an impartial referee. Mr. McMahon smells change in the air. He says what starts here ends at WrestleMania sometimes. He talks about Fan Axxess and the Hall of Fame. He tells Scott Armstrong that his dad, Bullet Bob is quite a guy, and could be a candidate for the Hall of Fame. McMahon tells him to keep that thought tonight during the championship match.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Mickie James makes her way out for Diva’s action. Her opponent tonight is Layla.
Mickie James vs. Layla
In a less than impressive match, Mickie James picked up the victory with the Mick Kick.
Video Package: Rest In Peace, Captain Lou. We’ll miss you.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Video Package: John Cena vs. Randy Orton
CM Punk, Teddy Long, and Scott Armstrong make their way out to the stage. Punk says that he feels unstoppable knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that he can physically dissect and beat down everybody sitting in it. He can reduce everybody sitting at home to tears in the blink of an eye. But it doesn’t add up to how unstoppable he feels knowing that in a few moments he’s going to make The Undertaker tap out for the second time. He knows it’s hard for us to deal with. Punk says his bragging rights start right here tonight when he once again becomes our Straight Edge World Champion, and there’s not a thing any of us can do about it.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
CM Punk is already in the ring and he’s introduced by Tony Chimel. The bell tolls and The Undertaker makes his entrance, and we’re set for our SmackDown main event!
The Undertaker def. CM Punk
The story of this one is Punk trying to lock in submissions as quickly as possible, but The Undertaker escaping before Punk can lock them in, knowing that if he gets caught in a hold, Armstrong could possibly ring the bell, screwing him again like he did at Breaking Point. Frustrated by the conspiracy, Undertaker chokeslams referee Scott Armstrong. Teddy Long starts to head up the ramp, and Punk catches ‘Taker with a few chairshots. He asks Long to get him another referee and slaps on the Anaconda Vise. Long starts yelling for the bell, but apparently only a referee can do that.. When another referee gets to the ring, Undertaker reverses the Anaconda Vise into the Hell’s Gate for the tapout victory.
The Undertaker glares across the arena at Punk as we’re set for this Sunday Night at Bragging Rights.
That’s it for me, folks. I’ll see you later on as I host the BWF Bragging Rights Roundtable!
Hello and welcome to another edition of Random Randomness, I amyour host JT and tonight I’ll be giving my opinions on this week in wrestling, well sort of. Well let’s get this going: (more…)
Episode #530: “SmackDown and Dirty”
This week’s WWE SmackDown is dedicated to the memory of Captain Lou Albano.
We kick off with the terrible new SmackDown theme song that is probably only used as a thinly veiled shot at TNA with the line “Do you really want to Cross The Line.” Todd Grisham welcomes us to the University of Kentucky, where he’s hanging out at ringside with… Michael Cole! Vintage SmackDown! Tonight, it’s Batista vs. Rey Mysterio, and the return of The Dirt Sheet!
You know it’s the Mack Militant…
Teddy Long is in the house, and he’s excited about Bragging Rights next Sunday. In the SmackDown vs. RAW main event at the PPV, he would like to ensure that SmackDown would be the dominant brand. He introduces us to the captain of Team SmackDown, Chris Jericho. Jericho heads down to the ring, and he says that Teddy Long has finally put aside prejudice and politics and made the right decision in naming him the captain of Team SmackDown. As the face of this show, he needs to address the possibility of John Cena returning. When Orton beats Cena, Cena will no longer be allowed to compete for the WWE Championship and will be banished from RAW, which means he’ll want to come back to SmackDown, but things have changed since Cena left, because Jericho is the man around here now. Nobody has been more successful or dominant in the 10 year history of SmackDown, and if Cena wants to return, he’s got to go through Jericho. Jericho is the cornerstone of SmackDown and the best in the world at what he does. He’s the reason all of the parasites in the crowd are there tonight. As the captain of Team SmackDown, it’s his responsibility to put together a team that will allow him to lead them to the promised land. They’ll beat team RAW, who’s captains have written this “piece of Flotsam and Jetsam (referring to DX’s new book),” Degeneration X. You know what Jericho thinks of DX? He begins tearing pages out of the new DX book. He says that’s what he’s going to do to DX at Bragging Rights. He’ll open our eyes and we’ll truly see…
KABOOM!
Kane’s pyro goes off, and the Big Red Monster says that he and Jericho need to talk. He’s been listening to Jericho’s every word, and he’s here to tell him that he’s now the co-captain of the SmackDown Seven. Jericho says of course he is, he was thinking the same thing. He was just going to announce that because the combination of Kane’s strength and Jericho’s intelligence means that the RAW team doesn’t stand a chance. Kane says the book, DX, and all of Team RAW can go up in flames.
Still to come, Batista takes on Rey Mysterio.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
The following contest is a Triple-Threat Bragging Rights Qualifying Match scheduled for one fall. Chris Jericho is apparently in charge of all of these qualifying matches. This one pits Finlay vs. Mike Knox vs. Dolph Ziggler.
Dolph Ziggler def. Mike Knox & Finlay in a Triple Threat Match
SmackDown has the best matches on all of television. That’s through all three WWE brands and TNA. In the end here, Finlay and Knox both went for cross-bodies, Finlay with Shillelagh in hand. Finlay goes for a cover, but Ziggler pulls him out and covers Knox to pick up the victory!
So far, the main event for Bragging Rights is DX, The Big Show, Mark Henry, Jack Swagger, Kofi Kingston, and Cody Rhodes vs. Chris Jericho, Kane, and Dolph Ziggler.
Still to come, The Dirt Sheet returns!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
In the following tag team match, the winning team will both qualify for Team Smackdown.
Cryme Tyme def. The Hart Dynasty
You know what I don’t get? Why they bothered to bring the Hart Dynasty up to SmackDown. They put on great matches and all, but it seems like they’re stuck wrestling Cryme Tyme every week. At this point, I think they’d be better off being the big fishes in the small pond of ECW. It doesn’t help these guys that the Unified Tag Team Champions are also heels. Speaking of which, why are Jericho and The Big Show never on ECW? That’s a thought for another time though, as JTG picks up the victory by hitting Tyson Kidd with the Thugnificence after the distraction from Shad.
So the match at Bragging Rights is now DX, Big Show, Henry, Swagger, Kingston, and Rhodes takin on Jericho, Kane, Ziggler, and Cryme Tyme.
Still to come, Batista takes on Rey Mysterio
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Chris Jericho is talking to Michelle McCool backstage when Teddy Long comes in. Jericho tells her that Bragging Rights is important. If SmackDown wins twice out of the three matches, they’ll prove their the dominant brand. He says he can’t count on Morrison to beat The Miz, but he wants to know if he can count on Michelle. She says she makes history and can beat any diva in any kind of match at any time. Mickie James walks in, excited that she was excited to be chosen to be traded to SmackDown. Mickie says that if Chris is looking for somebody to beat the RAW Divas, he should pick somebody who’s already beaten every Diva on RAW. Michelle excuses herself but runs into Beth Phoenix, who tells her she shouldn’t count on hanging onto her title for long with The Glamazon around.
Mr. McMahon is on his cell phone when CM Punk shows up. Punk isn’t thrilled about the fatal four way. Mr. McMahon isn’t either. Punk says McMahon should do something about it. McMahon says he liked the idea Punk had last week for a Breaking Point rematch. Punk asks if that means the four way is off. McMahon says it’s not. Instead, Punk vs. Undertaker in a submission match with referee Scott Armstrong as the official and Teddy Long at ringside – right here on SmackDown next week!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
WrestleMania tickets go on sale in 22 days!
The following is a Bragging Rights qualifying match, but first, here’s Vickie Guerrero, who is booed like crazy and doing her “Excuse Me” gimmick. She introduces, making his SmackDown debut, her new boyfriend, Eric Escobar. His opponent tonight is from Cameron, North Carolina and wearing the ugliest purple tights this side of Men on a Mission, Matt Hardy!
Eric Escobar def. Matt Hardy
Escobar looked pretty good here, virtually dominating Matt Hardy. In the end, however, it was a distraction of the referee by Vickie Guerrero that allowed Escobar to slam Hardy shoulder first and roll him up – hooking Matt’s Barney the Dinosaur inspired tights – for the pinfall victory.
The Bragging Rights main event is now DX, Show, Henry, Swagger, Kingston and Rhodes vs. Kane, Jericho, Cryme Tyme, Ziggler, and Escobar.
Up next, it’s the return of The Dirt Sheet!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
In a world full of winners and losers, two men have risen above to bring you The Dirt Sheet. The United States Champion The Miz is introduced first, followed by SmackDown’s Intercontinental Champion John Morrison. The st is split in two – one half is red (where The Miz is sitting) and one side is blue (where Morrison is sitting). Morrison says he’ll prove why being the Intercontinental Champion is better than – hey wait a minute – The Miz has a championship! Is that real? Or did he get it on WWEShop.com. The Miz is your United States Champion. Not only will we determine which brand is superior, we’ll find out who was the superior member of the greatest tag team of the 21st Century. They say that throughout history, great teams have split up with one member going on to greatness and the other fading into obscurity. Like, Mork and Mindy – you know, Robin Williams and whathername. Bill and Ted – Ted was in The Matrix, Bill was in the unemployment line. Wayne and Garth, Regis and Kathy Lee, and of course, The Rockers. When they broke up, Shawn Michaels went on to become Shawn Michaels! Marty Jannetty went on to be Marty Jannetty (wah wah wah.) At Bragging Rights, Miz says he’ll prove he’s the Shawn Michaels and Morrison will be the Marty Jannetty. Morrison says that Jannetty never had cool merch like he’s got. Miz says there can’t be two Jannetty’s so in default, Morrison is the Jannetty. Jannetty says that there can be two Jannetty’s – Marty Jannetty and Mizzy Jannetty. They then argue about The Miz’s dating life. Morrison says the only thing Miz has done is conformed. He had the courage to dress like a loser. But now he’s some strange mixture of Michael Phelps, Mr. Ed, Pink, and Big Dick Johnson. And when you put all that together, you get The Miz. Miz laughs it off. He says he’s got great hair, the women love his pearly whites, and he looks good in trunks. Morrison says he looks husky. Morrison says Miz isn’t fat, he’s husky. The crowd agrees. Miz says they’re just jealous of his amazing body. At Bragging Rights, there will be no debate – he’ll prove he’s better than Morrison. Morrison says prove it now. Miz says he won’t do that in this second rate city in this second rate state on this second rate show, he’ll do it on the PPV. Morrison asks if Miz really thinks that SmackDown is the second rate show? RAW is nothing more than a cheap imitation of Saturday Night Live. So if you want to tune in to see the amazing star power of Al Sharpton or Nancy O’Dell, go ahead. Who’s hosting next week, Big Bird? If you want action, entertainment, and the Friday Night Delight, you tune in to Friday Night SmackDown. These people are tired of the boring Miz. Miz says he’s the most entertaining and charismatic superstar in the WWE. He’s the reason people watch RAW. He’s the reason people are watching tonight. He carried Morrison for two years, because he’s The Miz, and he’s Awesome! Morrison says he’s the Miz and all he does is run his mouth. Talk is cheap. This is SmackDown, not RAW. He won’t let Miz sit around and talk about what he’s gonna do. He dares Miz to take a shot at him. Miz takes off his jacket. Miz decides that discretion is the better part of valor and leaves. Morrison says “see you at Bragging Rights, Jannetty.” Both men hold up their respective titles.
Still to come, Rey Mysterio takes on Batista.
Video package: The feud between Drew McIntyre and R-Truth.
Truth is walking backstage, and he’ll face Drew McIntyre one on one, NEXT! in a Bragging Rights qualifying match.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Later tonight, The Undertaker has a message for CM Punk.
It’s time to find out who the final member of Team SmackDown will be! WHAT’S UP! R-Truth raps his way down the aisle. I guess they’re letting him backstage again, since he didn’t come out of the crowd. Drew McIntyre makes his way out to the ring, and we’re ready for action!
Drew McIntyre def. R-Truth
Here’s what I want to know. Why isn’t ECW upset that RAW and SmackDown are having a PPV to determine the dominant brand in the WWE and barely mentioning them? Anyways, McIntyre works over Truth’s back throughout the match, eventually sweeping his leg out from under him while he was standing on the steel steps on the outside. Truth couldn’t make the 10 count, and McIntyre wins by countout!
So the Bragging Rights main event is DX, Show, Henry, Swagger, Kingston, and Rhodes vs. Jericho, Kane, Cryme Tyme, Escobar, Ziggler, and now McIntyre.
Rey Mysterio and Batista are backstage, and Batista isn’t thrilled about having to face his brother ReyRey tonight. Mysterio says it’s cool, and come Bragging Rights, it’s all about the title. Mysterio asks Batista to take it easy on him tonight.
We’ll hear from The Undertaker, NEXT!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Video Package: Randy Orton and John Cena’s rivalry leading to their Iron Man Match at Bragging Rights.
Rundown of the Bragging Rights card
Video Package: The feud between CM Punk and The Undertaker.
Undertaker says that history has a way of repeating itself, but not in his yard. Punk, Armstrong, and Long have decided to tempt fate and wrest the holy grail from death’s grip. Once you enter Hell’s gates, there’s no turning back. At Bragging Rights, he’ll take Punk’s soul, and in one week’s time, he’ll give Punk his last rights.
Rey Mysterio is out first for tonight’s main event. Batista’s music starts, and I start to doze off a little. Then his pyro goes off, and I wake up again. Then the bell rings. Here we go!
Rey Mysterio def. Batista
It starts off as a friendly match – until Mysterio goes for a 619 and seemingly lights a fire under the Animal. Batista takes control and physically dominates – though he’s hesitant to do so. Mysterio starts to use his speed to mount a comeback, and hits a 619, but when he goes for the West Coast Pop, Batista catches him and goes for a Batista Bomb, but Mysterio reverses it into a Hurricanrana pin attempt – which leads to the pinfall victory for Rey Mysterio!
Following the match, Batista complains that his shoulder was up, which Michael Cole agrees with, but Batista still hugs Mysterio and raises his hand. Batista applauds Mysterio’s victory from the top of the ramp, and CM Punk rushes in and drops Mysterio with the GTS before bailing through the crowd. Batista runs him off and helps Mysterio to his feet.
Next week, CM Punk vs. The Undertaker for the World Heavyweight Championship with Scott Armstrong as the referee and Teddy Long at ringside in a submission match.
My thoughts: Another solid episode of SmackDown. Even the Batista/Mysterio match was pretty good. I just wish I was more awake through it. I’m a bit surprised at the team that’s representing SmackDown, but I probably shouldn’t be. That’s it for me guys, stay tuned for Random Randomness from JT this Sunday and Bound For Glory coverage all weekend!
I watched SmackDown, but I was eating at the time and didn’t feel like actually reviewing the show. So, to keep up with things this week, I’m going to do a recap/thoughts column on the show. Hope you enjoy it!
In ring segment: Teddy Long says that John Cena is more than welcome to join SmackDown if he should lose at Bragging Rights. CM Punk comes out and demands a submission match against The Undertaker for the World Heavyweight Championship with Scott Armstrong as the referee and Long at ringside at the PPV. Long says he can’t do that. Before he gets a chance to announce his plans, Mr. McMahon steals his thunder and announces that Long was planning a fatal four way pitting The Undertaker against CM Punk, Batista, and Rey Mysterio for the World Heavyweight Championship at Bragging Rights.
Match #1: Rey Mysterio def. Chris Jericho following a 619.
Word Up: This week’s word is Eve, because she’s next.
Match #2: Michelle McCool def. Eve.
Backstage segment: Teddy Long enters his office to find Vickie Guerrero and Eric Escobar. Vickie says that The Undertaker is going to be furious and that Punk should’ve gotten a one on one rematch.
Match #3: John Morrison def. Dolph Ziggler in an Intercontinental Championship match. Ziggler set a chair at ringside, but Maria took it and sat on it before he could use it, leading Morrison to use the distraction to pick up the victory.
Backstage segment: Dolph tells Maria that he sees bright lights in his professional future, but he doesn’t see her in his personal future.
Match #4: Drew McIntyre & Kane def. R-Truth & Matt Hardy. For the love of not seeing your underwear every week, Matt, please go back to regular pants!
Backstage segment: Rey Mysterio and Batista agree that the best man should win at Bragging Rights.
Match #5: CM Punk def. Batista via count out.
My thoughts: If the rumors are true that Punk is in the WWE doghouse for not dressing in a suit when it doesn’t fit his gimmick, that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. The Undertaker does NOT need the World Heavyweight Championship. He’s a legend, and a shoe-in for the Hall of Fame the moment he retires. Batista gets injured every time he wins a major championship, and Mysterio hasn’t done much of anything lately to indicate that he’d have a successful run with the title.
Dolph Ziggler either needs to win the title, or move on from trying to win it. I like Ziggler, I like Morrison, I don’t mind them feuding, but it should’ve been Ziggler who picked up the title from Rey Mysterio in the first place.
And Matt Hardy. I’m begging you Matt, go back to pants. The tights look terrible on you, they’re just not your style. And yes, I will say this every week in my SmackDown reviews.
What’s up everyone and welcome to the second edition of the Roundtable. Tonight I am your host as we sit down and predict this Sunday’s “Hell In A Cell” pay per view! Tonight we all of the BWF staff on board with their predictions, so without further ado, let’s get this show on the road:
1. World Heavyweight Championship Match- CM Punk vs. Undertaker (Hell in a Cell Match):
Legend Killer: Punk retains. Oh yeah, nobody else picks it, but watch for Batista.
ThinkSoJoE: We still don’t know for sure who put Long, Punk, and Scott Armstrong up to screwing The Undertaker at Breaking Point, so I’m sure that he’ll get screwed again at Hell In A Cell. Punk’s leaving with the gold.
Tharvey1: Undertaker over CM Punk
Drowgoddess: I want CM Punk to win and retain the title. It’s considered a foregone conclusion that Taker wins here, but it’s just too soon. Taker winning here makes no sense.
JT: It is more logical to have Punk retain here since he has people to feud with such as Batista, Rey Mysterio, And even to a lesser extent Great Khali and John Morrsion. If Taker wins he has Kane and that’s about it unless they turn Batista heel, which I don’t see happening. Punk retains.
2. Divas Championship Match- Mickie James vs. Alicia Fox:
Legend Killer: Mickie James. Who the hell is Alicia Fox?
ThinkSoJoE: Why even have a Hell in a Cell PPV if you don’t have EVERY match inside a Hell In A Cell? This one will be a victory for Mickie James if the WWE wants their women’s division to have even an ounce of credibility compared to TNA’s
Tharvey1: Mickie James over Alicia Fox
Drowgoddess: Mickie James. That Alicia Fox is even in a ppv title match is appalling.
JT: Mickie James. Do I really need to explain.
3. WWE Championship Match- John Cena vs. Randy Orton (Hell in a Cell Match):
Legend Killer: Cena. Because the WWE are like that.
ThinkSoJoE: Cena just won the title. Cena sells merchandise. WWE have a new toy deal starting in January with Mattel, and cheap looking toy championships to sell. Cena ain’t losing at HIAC.
Tharvey1: John Cena over Randy Orton
Drowgoddess: Cena wins. After the last RAW, it’s a given.
JT: I think that the stipulation in that if Orton loses, he can’t have another title shot. So, I’m going with Orton here. Plus like with Punk, it’s better for Orton to be champ, since he can go on to feud with HHH and HBK and even the long awaited Mark Henry feud we’ve all been waiting for. If Cena wins, he has nobody and babyface vs. babyface feuds can’t happen all the time.
4. D-Generation X vs. The Legacy (Hell in a Cell Match):
Legend Killer: DX. See previous match. Also, Cody Rhodes was Rey Mysterio jr. in WCW.
ThinkSoJoE: If there wasn’t another PPV between now and Survivor Series, there would be no question in my mind about Legacy winning this match. My assumption is that they’re still booking DX & Cena vs. Orton and Legacy as the dark main event for RAW events after Bragging Rights later this month, the theory of DX finally getting their revenge at Survivor Series could still hold up. I’m going to go with Legacy here.
Tharvey1: DX over Legacy
Drowgoddess: Who are we kidding? DX wins here, and in humiliating fashion. I completely disagree with the people who say that DX has effectively put over Legacy, and that a DX win at HIAC is acceptable.
JT: I’ve got two words for ya: “DX WINS!” I don’t see Legacy having any chance here.
5. United States Championship Match- Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz vs. Jack Swagger:
Legend Killer: The Miz. His opponents are a palm tree after a bushfire, and the second is the re-incarnation of Dusty Rhodes.
ThinkSoJoe: All three of these guys have been in a game of one-upsmanship over the past few weeks. Kofi’s outsmarted Miz and Swagger on a few occasions, leading me to believe he’s retaining.
Tharvey1: Jack Swagger over Miz and Kofi Kingston
Drowgoddess: I like all three of these guys, and will be happy no matter who wins. That said, I’m going with Kofi to retain, and Swagger and The Miz to develop a feud of their own over it.
JT: Kofi Kingstion has been champion since June, so a title change is eminent. I’m gonna go with Swagger here.
6. Unified Tag Team Championship Match- Chris Jericho & Big Show vs. Batista & Rey Mysterio:
Legend Killer: Batista and Rey. You really see them losing? Silly wrestling fan, WWE is for kids. Yes, the WWE is now a breakfast cereal.
ThinkSoJoE: Look. I’m going to give the same prediction I’ve given before. They took the time to have a band come in and remake a remix of Jericho and Big Show’s theme music. They’re not splitting the team up this quickly by ending their reign at Hell In A Cell. If they do, and I have to see Batista when RAW comes to Buffalo in three weeks, I’ll be very upset.
Tharvey1: JeriShow over Boretista and Rey Mysterio
Drowgoddess: Batista and Rey would not be in this match if they weren’t going to win it. I don’t want them to, but I predict that they will. That said, I want JeriShow to retain until Edge comes back, and have Edge and Jericho start their inevitable feud with Edge and Christian (who will have lost the ECW title to Regal) winning the tag team titles one more time.
JT: There hasn’t been enough build for this match for me to believe that the titles will change hands. Plus Mysterio has unfinished business with John Morrison and Dolph Ziggler. Plus both Rey and Batista are the next in line to be World Title contenders. Jericho and Big Show retain and keep thetitles until Edge returns and causes them to lose them.
7. Intercontinental Championship Match- John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler:
Legend Killer: errrr … Morrison?
ThinkSoJoE: PLEASE let Ziggler win. It’s no secret that I’m a huge JoMo mark, but the whole “Mr. Ziggles” thing got real old, real quick. I want Ziggler to win just so Morrison will take him seriously enough to stop calling him that. So, my pick is Ziggler.
Tharvey1: John Morrison over Dolph Ziggler
Drowgoddess: Ziggler has been doing well, and I like the guy more than I thought I would, but I don’t see the Guru of Greatness losing the title just yet. With the hint of a Maria heel turn recently, I’d like to see a slow burn on that where Maria eventually does something despicable to help Ziggler win the title, and we have a new heel couple. Morrison retains.
JT: With Rey returning, I think that he’ll want a rematch for the title at some point, probably the first or second Smackdown after the pay per view, and he will face the champion, John Morrison! Ziggler’s day is coming though.
Alright that’s all thanks for joining us for this edition of the BWF Roundtable. Tune in tomorrow for “Hell In A Cell” coverage, plus an all new Random Randomness!