TNA Impact 10/07/14;
1 CommentInsert stuff about Impact here.
Insert stuff about Impact here.
With how good the E has been lately, I don’t know what to expect from Impact.
Once again, getting a copy of RAW proved sort of difficult this week. Luckily, I knew the alternate place to look this week, but it was still a process. So now it’s 1AM and I’m reviewing RAW. So, let’s go.
I watch 30 minutes of RAW, which is equivalent of how much of SmackDown ISN’T RAW recaps, then leave for work. Then I watch and review the rest, half-assedly because Jorge isn’t on facebook. You want my RAW reviews to get better, don’t you? Then go like Jorge!
So just a basic recap today, rough morning.
Let’s start with…
MATCH RESULTS
ORTON/SHEAMUS DEF. BIG SHOW (HANDICAP MATCH) – A pointless rematch from Friday. Brogue Kick + RKO = Three count.
Rytman Remark: You know, neither Orton or Sheamus are THAT much smaller than the big show. The two of them beating him, is like either of them losing to two normal sized guys.
KOFI KINGSTON DEF. ANTONIO CESARO (NEW U.S. CHAMPION) – Match wastes no time in going into a spot-fest. Kingston rolls out of a sun-set flip, rolls Cesaro backwards into a standing position and hits “Trouble In Paradise” for the three-count and the title.
Rytman Remark: Remember when WWE first ventured out into video games? And how they followed the normal 2-D, side-scrolling fighter format? (I’m thinking Street Fighter, Mortal Combat.) This match was like that, entertaining, but no real story.
WWE TAG CHAMPIONS TEAM HELL NO (KANE/DANIEL BRYAN) DEF. THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS – The PTP’s are almost completely jobbed out here. Choke-slam/flying head-butt combo wins this for the champs.
Rytman Remark: The commentator spent this match making jokes about goats in reference to Bryan’s beard, because there was nothing else really to talk about.
R-TRUTH DEF. WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION WADE BARRETT (NON-TITLE) R-Truth wins it by grabbing Barrett by the head and dropping him face-first to the mat. (The Little Jimmy?) After the match, Truth looks just as surprised as the rest of us.
Rytman Remark: There MIGHT be a point to this loss. WWE has a Battle Royal set up for Main Event this Wednesday, to name a #1 contender to Barrett’s belt. If R-Truth wins, it’ll cement the seed planted here.
RHODES SCHOLLARS (Sandow/Cody) DEF. SANTINO MORELLA/GREAT KAHLI (w/Natalya & Hornswoggle)– Santino gets the Cobra on Sandow and chases off Cody. Horny-dawg (yes, I am going to call him that if I want to,) tries to “cobra” Cody. Cody gets rough with him. Khalil comes to the rescue, and Santino gets pinned because he’s not watching Sandow. School-boy, for the three.
Rytman Remark: ( face-palm..)
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JACK SWAGGER (w/Zeb Coulter) DEF. WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/AJ Lee & Big E.) – A hard fought match with Ziggler picking up some fan support, but Swagger getting the three-count out of nowhere by dropping Ziggler throat-first into the top rope.
NIKKI BELLA (W/BRE) DEF. WWE DIVA’S CHAMPION KAITLYN – Nikki’s game-plan is to keep taking Kaitlyn’s legs out from under her. Kaitlyn hits the stomach-breaker, but Bree switches w/sis to steal a three count.
Rytman Remark: In order…
Okay, now we look at…
STORYLINES/ANGLES
1.) BROCK/TRIPLE H: LET’S JUST GET IT OVER WITH – 3MB (Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre, Jinder Mahal,) came out first, calling out the Shield, demanding an apology for the beating on Smackdown. Instead, they got another beating, from BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK LESNARRRRRRRR! It ends w/Slater takes two F-5’s to the barricade.
Crowd: One more time! One more time! One more time!
Paul Heyman gets control of Lesnar, gets him in the ring, and gets the mike. He gives Triple H credit for knocking out Lesnar, calling him a “Warrior, worthy of admiration.” Heyman says the score is “one and one,” and it’s “time to get extreme.” He challenges Trips to meet Lesnar in a steel cage match at Extreme Rules and has “two words,” for Trips…
“Challenge, Issued.” – Paul Heyman
2.) ZIGGLER/DEL RIO: WHY WASTE TIME BUILDING THE CHAMP? – Dolph Ziggler comes out with the “Dolph-tourage,” (Copyright: Robert Rytman,) to brag about his title win. Alberto Del Rio comes out with a still hurt Roberto Rodriguez and his left leg taped up. He gets in the ring and demands his rematch now! Before the match begins, Jack Swagger and Zeb Coulter come out, claiming Swagger deserves the credit for Dolph’s win and deserves the shot more than Del Rio. Swagger gets on the apron and ADR gets in a shot to Swagger’s face. Big E. gets between Del Rio and Ziggler, but Swagger grabs ADR’s leg and works it over in the corner, wrapping it around the ring post and pounding away on it.
Later in the show, we’re in Vicki Guerro’s office. She and her assistant, Brad Maddox are discussing things, when Teddy Long comes in. Apparently he’s taken it on himself to book Ziggler vs. Swagger and he’s given Swagger some “extra incentive,” to compete. Vicki likes the idea. Maddox tells Teddy to go tell someone. Teddy says it’s not his job. Vicki tells Brad to do it.
After Swagger’s win, (see above,) Del Rio attacks Swagger and goes after the arm. Officials break it up and Del Rio stands tall.
Rytman Remark: Okay, I’m thinking this angle is the one getting rushed. Having Del Rio demand a rematch while he’s still hurt makes him look more like a fool then a fighter. Why not do a Ziggler/Swagger program and save Del Rio for next month?
3.) FAHHHN-DAHHHN-GOING-GOING-GONE! – FANDANGO comes out to be interviewed by Lawler. When Fandango asks Lawler about moving his hips, Lawler decides to move his hips back to the announcers table. Fandango tries to get the crowd “Fandangoing,” with mixed results. A few minutes of this and Fandango tells the crowd to go “Fandango” themselves.
Rytman Remark: PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS THE END OF “FANDANGOING!”
4.) SHEAMUS/HENRY: IRISH CREAMED! (NOT THAT WAY YOU SICKOS!) – Matt Striker is backstage interviewing Sheamus when Henry bull-rushes him down for the second time since last Friday.
Later in the show, we get an announcement for Smack-Down this Friday. Team White-snake (Sheamus/Orton) vs. Big Show and Mark Henry.
Rytman Remark: And we couldn’t do this match tonight because?…
5.) C.M. PUNK: PUNK OUT? – C.M. Punk came out with Heyman. Punk talks about how he could never enjoy what he has at the time, because he’s always looking “around the corner” for the next hurdle, how after holding the title for more than 400 days, he went right after the Undertaker’s streak. In the middle of the promo, the crowd starts a dueling chant for him and the Taker. Punk goes flat. His eyes, his posture, it becomes that of a man crushed. Punk hugs Paul, gives him the mike, and limps off, bypassing the stage and going right for the exit.
Rytman Remark: I am aware that Punk is taking the time off to heal up. However, I’m giving him credit for his performance. He came off like he really did “lose his smile,” and if you wanted to start retirement rumors (or an angle,) you could easily use this promo. I’m predicting a HUGE comeback for Punk – maybe even a face turn – when WWE realizes how much they miss him.
6.) BOOKER T/TEDDY LONG: CLASH OF THE TITANS (KINDA) – Backstage, Booker T is NOT happy with Teddy Long going over his head. He makes the match at Extreme Rules a three-way for the title and tells Teddy to “handle his business.”
Rytman Remark: I’m glad Teddy’s getting to assert himself, as opposed to being a constantly put-upon errand boy, but do we need ANOTHER POWER STRUGGLE ANGLE!? GOOD GRIEF!
Side Note: I heard Michael Cole on one of the shows, talking about Booker T letting the HOF honor go to his head, and how that may be contributing to his problems with Teddy. Guys, Booker is NOT the one coming off as a heel in this.
7.) CENA/RYBACK: CONTINUITY! (BOOM) PART 2– All night we’re teased with Ryback speaking out tonight about his actions. Striker has Cena backstage, where he comes out to almost NO reaction. Cena says he’ll be in the ring with a yellow shirt and his WWE title and he will confront Ryback tonight.
Ryback has his say in a pre-taped promo. Ryback starts by comparing his spot with Cena’s after Mania. Cena was on top, Ryback was on the bottom. Only one place each for them to go. Ryback goes over his past few months in WWE. He credits Cena as a friend and mentor, even mentioning last October when Cena nominated him for a shot at the WWE title. Ryback then goes over his feud with the Shield and Mark Henry, pointing out how Cena never came to help him out when he was jumped by the Shield, but he almost always had Cena’s back when he was jumped.
“I am not an afterthought. I am not a sidekick. … If you were Superman, say hello to Kryptonite!” – Ryback
He says being Cena’s “friend” meant staying in his shadow, and he’s not staying there anymore.
Our “main event” for the evening is Cena calling out Ryback.
“This week, I say you make a move, and see if you have what it takes to EARN a championship!” – John Cena
Ryback backs down and walks away.
SIERRA,HOTEL/INDIA/ECHO/LIMA/DELTA, BELIVE IN THE SHIELD!
The Shield come down to the ring and surround Cena. They hold back, waiting to see what Ryback will do.
Ryback walks off, and RAW ends with a Shield beat-down on Cena.
Side Note: We caught a second of the Shield in the “Gorilla” position by accident, which kinda gave it away.
So, you know someone lost a job.
Rytman Remark: Best Ryback Promo Ever. The guy knocked it out of the park, in regards to setting himself up as bitter/jealous. I commend whoever it was, that figured out how to string Ryback’s past booking together into a cohesive narrative. If you entertain the notion that this was the game plan all along, it explains why WWE booked him as a choke-artist. It gives him motive to turn bitter and blame Cena.
Here’s the problem…
If you want to call out Cena for not doing a run-in, you’re going to have to call out the ENTIRE WWE for not running in and helping out their “friends.” In the past year, building to Mania, the only person I’ve seen run-in to save someone from a beating was R-Truth helping out Kofi Kingston when he came back. I’m aware that Orton/Sheamus/and Big Show did run-ins w/each other during their feud w/the Shield, but that was under the premise of a common enemy, not “friendship.”
Rytman’s Review: Okay, not an earth-shattering RAW by any means, but an effective place-holder-episode. “Auto-pilot” isn’t always a bad idea, if it keeps things moving. This RAW did it’s job, setting up the next PPV. And speaking for myself, I appreciate keeping the drama brief.
It’s Tuesday, you know what that means. Wait, it’s Tuesday? What in the blue hell? I’m not even supposed to be working here today! Great American Bash? More like Holla, Holla, Playah, Holla! It’s Teddy Long time, folks. So let’s just make our way down to the ring, shall we? No hopping to it this time.
Fortunately I got to watch this with my fellow smark “Kasan” on the Stickam account “Threewaydance”. While I generally am at work when it’s live, if you want fellow wrestling fans to break down the action with live, I highly recommend checking them out.
Flowchart!
There are so many things I can talk about. I just wanted to take a few moments to discuss a few things. First of all, one of Texas’ finest indy talents was in a horrible wreck and is now going through some major surgeries. Please take a moment to wish him well as he goes through this time. His Twitter can be found here.
Also, I had the opportunity to see a really awesome match between “Headbanger” Gregory James and “The Chosen One” Barrett Brown. I decided to share that match here. If you do not, go find a local indy wrestling company and support them. This was the best I had seen either do (that didn’t involve a ladder).
We open up with the Bellas defending Zack Ryder to Eve. Then Raw officially opens to the entrance of the Confederate Warrior. Then he trashes Eve. Eve is on her knees crying. I deplored this whole segment. Thanks for reminding me that all women are sexually depraved.
The first match was Sheamus vs. Mark Henry. It was a nice match to start everything. It was a nice build towards Wrestlemania.
Are Johnny Ace and Teddy Long going to feud? Can I pay NOT to see that?
R-Truth is coming to the ring. Following him is Kofi. They are facing The Colons. The Colons got NO crowd reaction. The match was really good. Kofi pinned a Colon. Now Kofi & Truth are a tag team?
David Otunga gets Ezekiel Jackson which I guess means we all lose. Otunga wins. Zeke, rent, don’t buy.
Undertaker comes out bald on-screen for the first time since before 1990. He and HHH have a really good exchange. There just isn’t a single person who wants this match other than Mark & Paul. They agree to the match. It’s going to be Hell in a Cell.
Daniel Bryan squashed Santino. Way to capitalize on your momentum, WWE.
Aksana and Kelly Kelly got the Bella Twins. The Bellas won. Sigh.
John Cena had a really good honest promo.
The Battle Royal was something that legends are made of. This was really good. But it was so brutal. At least 2 wrestlers were legit injured. And Jericho won and the build-up began.
I LOVED the Battle Royal, Cena’s promo & the Taker-HHH. The Eve stuff was awful and the rest was just there. I’ll call it decent.
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Let’s skip the intro crap, and we begin with clips of the Big Show/Orton match from RAW. Orton was concussed and is being pulled from this Sunday’s Elimination Chamber match up. So our go home Smackdown will serve to find his replacement in a Battle Royal. Teddy Long confirms the stoic faced Orton kayfabe, but it’s all legit too. So sell me on the PPV WWE, I wouldn’t have shilled out the money for Orton anyways. BTW, if you somehow didn’t hear the announcement WWE made themselves on their own website, I’ll save the spoiler for after the jump as I run down this episode of Smackdown…
(more…)
For some reason Perez Hilton is polluting my Monday Night Raw. I personally think he has no place on our planet or in our species. Last week Kane laid out Zack Ryder because he couldn’t change a flat tire. Maybe Hilton can show Ryder how to change a flat tire. Things could be a lot worse though. We had the Funkasaurus debut last Monday and I’m curious to see where that goes. I’m also curious to see what Jericho does tonight. If you are looking for some great tires check out these Tire Shops for great deals.
We start off with Mick Foley. The great part about Mick Foley is that he can laugh at himself. Foley will be in the Royal Rumble. I will only be happy if he takes Jinder Mahal’s spot. Then he is interrupted by Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler berating him for taking a wrestler’s spot. And then CM Punk comes out they have a nice face off. And then Johnny Ace comes out. He says he will be impartial. True story. My wife was passed out on the couch. When Johnny Ace came out, she groaned in her sleep.
We get footage of the tag belts changing hands. We had a nice match between the Colons & (6 if you count Rosa Mendes. Some of you may have to think about this a little).
Chris Jericho will be in the main event. He turns out the light and lets his jacket sparkle.
Then we do a recap of Zack Ryder being unable to change a flat tire. Eve will accompany him to ringside. Ryder must have a member the size of Long Island cause I can’t think of any reason for Eve to still be with him after the “unable to change a flat tire” thing. Swagger destroyed Ryder and won the title.
In the back, Johnny Ace apologizes to Zack Ryder because he wasn’t medically cleared. Then Eve gets in his face and Ace tells her to respect authority. Huh?
R-Truth comes out and Wade Barrett interrupts him. Then after Barrett is done with his monologue, R-Truth begins his comments with ” ‘Allo, Govnuh.” Then there was a silly look at R-Truth’s trip to Disney. I hate to admit it, but I liked it. Then Miz came out followed by Sheamus. Teddy made a 4-man Over the Top Battle Royal match. R-Truth won. Nice match.
Then Jack Swagger comes out and he’s going to face John Cena? This was never a match. It was just a beatdown. This John Cena had some fire. Then Kane told Cena he was embracing the hate. Interesting.
We then had Brodus Clay kill JTG. Next to him is the chick whose second favorite match is Clay-Hawkins. I don’t know if this is right, but Funkasaurus is probably the best thing on Raw tonight.
Daniel Bryan cut a nice promo about why Big Show is a horrible person. The great part is that Bryan was a heel who told the truth. I really liked that.
The main event was really good. Jericho got tagged in, soaked up the adoration of the crowd and then walked off. Mark Henry chased Daniel Bryan to the back. And to make up for the missing person, Mick Foley came out. After the faces won, Johnny Ace came out and reversed the decision. Punk laid in to Ace about being pathetic and then walked off. Then Foley had a great face-off with Ace where Ace snapped. I had never seen Ace show that much fire before.
This turned out to be a really good Raw. I need more like these.
This week on BWF Radio, the crew discuss the decline of the Knockouts division, Daniel Bryan’s chances of successfully cashing in Money In The Bank, Hornswoggle’s chances of surviving the Battle Royal without Sheamus, Kofi Kingston bullying Michael Cole, subtle booking nuances, and much much more! Right click and “save as” the link below to listen!
Also, special thanks to LarG Productions for our new theme song, “Let’s Go To The Beach.” You can download the full song here.
I may have no idea what is going on tonight during Raw. I had a hard time sleeping on Friday night and had one last hurrah for my about-to-be brother-in-law as we celebrated his bachelor party. We started out at a Dallas Stars game and then ended up somewhere at a Dick’s Last Resort in downtown Dallas. There was a fan at the Dallas Stars game dressed as John Cena. He was booed every time he walked past a group of adults.
I am running on a lot of sleep deprivation. And random brats are going to be knocking on my door asking for free candy. If Raw gets really bad tonight, I may find myself plugging in Night of the Living Dead and blogging on that instead.
The Rock was there in a pre-recorded statement. Yawn… I hate to say this, but it was a pretty good pre-recorded promo. I’m sure the crowd must have been happy to pay to watch a pre-recorded statement.
Our first match was Punk and Henry. Johnny Ace came out and reminded us of who he was I guess… to see if fans would tune out earlier. Alberto del Rio sent in the Mexican Paul Bearer (Ricardo Rodriguez) to interfere and keep Punk from winning. My wife compared to Alberto del Rio to a Mexican Superman. I think she was on to something. Punk sent Rodriguez back into the ring and he got attacked by Henry. Are we building up Del Rio-Henry?
We get the Muppets on Monday Night Raw. I just wrote that. Then we get the Human Muppet Vickie Guerrero. I gotta admit I loved Vickie and Miss Piggy. Santino came out to their rescue. The highlight was Kermit calling Vickie his mother. The other highlight was Santino was calling him John Laryngitis. Then Kelly Kelly came out and made out with Kermit. It even made my wife laugh.
There was a Divas costume battle royal. Alicia Fox won the costume contest for me. Eve won the match.
Then we had a skit with Bunsen and Beaker where Christian bullied him. (Remember, Christian. Nobody likes a bully.) Then my Halloween costume Sheamus came to his rescue. They are related. Cute.
We had AirBoom take on Cody Rhodes and Wade Barrett which made no sense. Cody Rhodes got a nice crowd reaction. They won for absolutely no reason. Then Christian comes in which calls on the mobilization of Team Pasty White.
Then Statler and Waldorf did the “What?” stuff. Cute. I’ll just skip over the Johnny Ace segment. It looked like Weekend at Bernie’s with Punk trying to carry the deadweight.
We got Big Show versus Alberto del Rio. The crowd had no reaction whatsoever, but it was a nice dramatic match. It made sense for Show-ADR. The crowd was dead and couldn’t care less. Big Show won like he hadn’t pinned the champ. I’ve been trying to look at this positively, but this has been a pretty awful first hour.
Punk comes out and sits in the ring and puts him in the Anaconda Vice until he agreed to a match at Survivor Series. Then we had Fozzie and Gonzo. Swagger and Ziggler twisted Gonzo. Swagger really has no presence.
Then it was time for the Swagger-Santino match. The work was fine. I’m tiring of Swagger. Beaker gave Santino a blue liquid he spit on Swagger. He pinned him.
Zack Ryder had Dolph Ziggler. I think the match was well-booked. I was just so turned off by this whole night. Ryder won.
We had no HHH tonight which was an improvement to me. I fast forwarded Michael Cole just because I refuse to watch a human being get treated that way.
Miz and Cena were the main event. It was a pretty decent match. Cena won.
Well, Raw was pretty awful tonight. I enjoyed a lot of the Muppet segments. While we had no HHH, it was riddled with nothing but the same tired cliches. I can name 3 people almost immediately who need off the tv NOW. Not a lot of hope after this week’s episode.
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