Being the last WWE Superstars before “Extreme Rules,” this review also comes with predictions for the ppv. Let’s do it!
Match 1: The Bizzare One and the Midget (Goldust and the Midget) teaming up against THE Brian Kendrick and Jaime Noble
Believe it or not, even Hornswoggle doesn’t make Kendrick and Noble look big. Noble has to have bad memories of the little troll beating him for the Cruiserweight title. Anyways…Hornswoggle hits the tadpole splash on Spanky for the win.
Extreme Rules Prediction:
CM Punk over Umaga in the Samoan Strap Match. Punk hits the GTS and drags the Samoan Bulldozer around the ring.
Santina over Vickie Guerrero in the Hog Pen match. Mickie James and Kelly Kelly help Santino’s “twin sister” get the win.
Match 2: David Hart Smith vs. Tommy Dreamer. Christian doing commentary.
I hate the Hart Dynasty music. They need to just use the old music. As the referee was distracted by Christian grabbing a chair out of Natalya’s hands, Tyson Kidd kicked Dreamer in the head and David Hart Smith picks up the cheap win.
Extreme Rules Prediction:
ECW Championship Triple-Threat Match: Tommy Dreamer gets the win and becomes the new ECW Champion by pinning Jack Swagger.
Big Show over John Cena in a Submission Match. This match is the payback match for Show and builds on the fact that he is too big for Cena to submit.
Match 3: Chris Jericho and Dolph Ziggler tagging against R-Truth and Jeff Hardy
At the beginning, Jericho claims that from now on, Superstars will be his show because he is the ultimate superstar. Jeff Hardy gets the win with a Swanton Bomb on Dolph Ziggler. R-Truth should be IC champ very soon! That dude can work.
Extreme Rules Prediction:
Intercontinental Championship Match: Chris Jericho gets the win in the No Holds Barred match. As he attempts to rip off Rey’s mask, R-Truth makes the save and starts a program with Jericho.
World Heavyweight Championship Ladder Match: Edge gets the win. No reason for him not to.
US title Fatal Four-Way Match: Kofi retains the title. Again…no reason for him not to.
WWE Championship Cage Match: Randy Orton defeats Batista, as HHH finds a way to interfere. This sets up the Summerslam triple-threat main event.
That does it for this week. Thanks for reading and see you next week for another WWE Superstars Review.
Ken Anderson, aka Mr. Kennedy, was released by the WWE this week. Now, the reason as to his release, are several in number. From sloppy suplexes to apparent wrist injuries, to a war of words backstage, to being injury prone. Many reasons are to blame for his departure. However, I can prove Mr. Kennedy was injured during RAW this past week, as this footage shows. Here is another angle of his devastating injury.
The field for the next WWE PPV, entitled ‘Extreme Rules’ is set, and it is headlined by the HogPen match between Miss Wrestlemania Vickie Guerrero and Santina Marella. Can Santina Marella reclaim her crown? Find out in this one of a kind match.
Also on the card, the WWE Champion, Randy Orton defends his title in a Steel Cage match against Batista.
Edge will defend the World Heavyweight Championship against Jeff Hardy in a Ladder match, John Cena will face the Big Show in a Battle Rap Submission match, Christian defends the ECW Championship against Tommy Dreamer and Jack Swagger, Rey Mysterio defends the Intercontinental Championship against Chris Jericho, the new United States Champion, Kofi Kingston, defends against William Regal, Matt Hardy and MVP in a Fatal Four-Way and CM Punk faces off against Umaga in a Samoan Strap match. Just let you know, this PPV takes place on a Public Holiday in the land where I roam, so be sure to watch out for my comments LIVE. Will they be here? Who knows? Stay tuned.
TNA
Samoa Joe has been injured according to Samoa Joe’s Twitter account. He has a torn tricep as well as a broken finger or two. As TNA film several iMPACTs in advance, it will not affect his appearance there, however, it will affect him at Slammiversary. It will be interesting to see what type of role he plays.
Raven, Shane Douglas and Victoria all apeared on iMPACT this week. Raven to feud with Abyss, Shane Douglas attacked Daniels and Victoria took out the Beautiful People. It’s good to see Victoria, although I heard she was retiring. Shane Douglas looks fat and Raven looks old.
Hey everybody! Whose ready for another review of the rotating half face show?! I gotta say, the intro to Superstars kinda freaks me out a little. But, I digress. Let’s get this thang started.
First match of the evening pits THE ECW CHAMPION….CHRISTIAN against the Tommy Dreamer for the ECW title.
First out is Christian with his new shirt. I can’t wait to get it! Next out is the challenger, who was actually challenged by the champ, Tommy Dreamer. Why is the ECW championship match leading off the D-show? Shouldn’t it be the main event? Whatever….At one point, Dreamer looked like he was smelling Christian’s butt, when he applied a knee wrench. That was a little awkward. Throughout the match, Dreamer worked on Captain Charisma’s knee that was injured by Jack Swagger on ECW. This was a pretty good match. I’m not a huge fan of Dreamer’s work, but he certainly is not horrible. Christian is great and always does his part in the match. Dreamer hit a sicknasty suplex off the top rope and a cannonball to the outside, which were his two big spots of the night. Swagger made his way out the ringside and this match was ruled a no-contest. This match will likely be a triple threat match at Extreme Rules. This match gets a 8 out of 10.
Backstage interview with Josh Mathews and Chris Jericho
Jericho accuses Mathews of not respecting him and ties CMPunk’s popularity to his MITB briefcase. He defines greatness as himself and says Punk has his brush with greatness tonight.
The second match of the night is Kofi Kingston against William Regal
Regal should get a run at a world title soon. The guy is great. These two seem to work well together. I like their mix of high-flying and technical/brawling styles. From out of nowhere, Kingston hit the Trouble in Paradise for the win. This was good match for its length. I give it a 7.5 out of 10.
The main event of the evening is Chris Jericho and CM Punk
This match was good, but it seemed really random to have these two squaring off. It would have made more sense to have Punk and Rey tagging against Jericho and Umaga. This is the main event in name alone, as these two have no current beef with each other…Yet. Punk got the win with a counter of the Walls of Jericho into a rollup. After the match, Jericho hit a Code Breaker. This match looked like a seed-planter for a future program. We shall see. This match gets a 8.5 out of 10.
The show was very entertaining tonight. Except for the main event, everything else continued the storylines. Hopefully Jericho and Punk will start something going into Summerslam. As I leave you I will pose a question for you to ponder…If a penny is the unit for the American dollar, shouldn’t an ounce be the unit for the British pound?
For some reason, I’ve always been facinated with Donald Trump, especially after starting my own business several years ago. I’d heard that The Donald only sleeps four hours a night, so that while his competition was asleep, he’d be up coming up with new innovations. Let’s face it, whatever the guy is doing, it works.
I happened to walk in to a discount book store a couple of months ago while my car was in for an oil change, and two books jumped out at me – “Tietam Brown” by Mick Foley, and “How to Get Rich” by Donald Trump. At the time, I still had a few books to read, but I bought them both. After finishing Chris Jericho’s “A Lion’s Tale: Around The World In Spandex,” I picked up Trump’s book and started reading. I’ve thusfar found it difficult to put down. I came across the following in a section (Trump’s book doesn’t really have chapters in the traditional sense) called “Cover These Eleven Bases (The Art of Public Speaking, Part II)” and immediately thought about the WWE and TNA.
“Notes can sometimes function as a useful reference point, especially if you’re speaking to a large audience. If you’re prepared, no one can tell that you’re using them. Ideally, you don’t want to read a speech. For some reason, no matter how good your delivery is when you read a speech, it’s usually boring. Everyone sees that you’re reading it and it’s never quite the same as delivering it off the cuff. Notes offer the best of both worlds: They keep you focused and moving in the right direction without turning you into a stiff.”
Now obviously, the wrestlers aren’t out there reading their lines off of a piece of paper, but they are essentially reciting them verbatim from the run sheets. Think about it. Think about the greatest talkers in wrestling’s illustrious history. Dusty Rhodes. Ric Flair. Hulk Hogan. Randy Savage. Steve Austin. The Rock. How many of them had their promos written word for word for them? I’d bet none.
This is a challenge to the WWE and TNA wrestling. Give your guys bullet points to hit and let them go out and get themselves over. If they can’t, back to the indies with them. If they can, championship gold and big money. Yes, you’re television entities, but that does not mean you have to script everything.
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is zero wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
Judgment Day is this Sunday according to WWE programming. Didnt they just have a PPV last month? Anyways, it’s time to sort out just who will win. But first, check out the awesome video for the PPV!
CM Punk vs Umaga
Remember what I said last month about CM Punk’s match at Backlash and how he only gets matches because the WWE thinks the fans want to see him? This is another one of those matches. This match means absolutely nothing to anyone, except for Umaga, because he’s actually getting used on a PPV. Punk win, just because the event is held in his hometown of Chicago. I have nothing more to say about this, because I dont care.
Rey Mysterio vs Chris Jericho – Intercontinental Championship
Tough one. Submission match. Crossface vs Walls of Jericho. Can Jericho win the IC belt from Benoit, or will Benoit retain? I’m gonna say Benoit, but it’s tough for me to decide either way … wait … it’s not Benoit in the match, it’s Rey Mysterio vs Jericho? The IC title’s on the line. What is this? The year 2000? Jericho wins. Someone boot that little Mexican back over the border where he belongs. Oh, and I hope het gets swine flu.
Christian vs Jack Swagger – ECW Championship
Christian wins. I suppose I’d better add something else here. Here we go, the greatest RAW match of all time according to yours truly. Part One.
John Cena vs the Big Show
Like I said in last week’s column. John Cena needs to learn to sell injures a lot more. He was thrown into a spotlight by the Show at Backlash and this past week, he was in a match against the Miz. 15 Days after being thrown in a spotlight, John Cena wrestled. That is just ridiculous. However, I’ve seen this match before. Infact, it happened at a Judgment Day, several years ago …
This past week on RAW, Batista refused the chance to join a group including Randy Orton. I dont see why he refused, I mean, it wouldnt be the first time Batista has joined in the same group as Randy Orton. Maybe Randy should’ve offered 100,000 as well.
Two former Evolution members go head to head with the gold on the line. Both were World Champion during Evolution. Both beat Triple H for their first title reigns. Batista has a penis for a head and Randy Orton has a penis for a stablemate, as well as Ted DiBiase. Randy wins, but let’s just hope that this match doesnt go the same way as this one …
They have a PPV coming up too, it’s called Sacrifice and the main event is for the TNA Title. Champion Mick Foley defends against Kurt Angle and Sting, in a match that is sure to push the young talent that TNA say they are doing.
However, each man must Sacrifice something in order to compete and if they get pinned, then they lose what they sacrifice to the person that pinned them. Sounds simple, doesnt it? I know, a real shocker coming from TNA. So, your question now is, just what exactly is everyone Sacrifing? Well, let me tell you …
If they lose …
If Mick Foley gets pinned, he loses the TNA Heavyweight Title
If Kurt Angle gets pinned, he gives up leadership of The Main Event Mafia
If Sting gets pinned, he has vowed to never wrestle again
Also on the card, is as follows:
I-QUIT MATCH FOR THE TNA LEGENDS CHAMPIONSHIP
Booker T vs. “The Phenomenal” AJ Styles
Who cares? I believe AJ became Champ, so he could be the first TNA Grand Slam Champion. TNA KNOCKOUT WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP
Champion Angelina Love vs. Awesome Kong
I hope Kong eats her. I really do. Cannibalism on PPV will make me want to watch TNA more.
MAIN EVENT MAFIA VS. TNA FRONTLINE
Kevin Nash vs. Samoa Joe
The teacher versus the student. Remember when Nash mentored Joe? Big Kev mustn’t be a good tutor, because Joe has found himself a new tutor. Speaking of this match, Scott Hall won’t be getting involved, let Joe tell you.
THE FIRST-EVER KNOCKOUTS MONSTER’S BALL
Check back for the complete lineup
THE FINALS OF THE TEAM 3D TOURNAMENT
The winners get a shot at the TNA World Tag Team Title *cough* Beer Money win *cough*
Well, thats it. Stay tuned next week, when I, will hopefully provide not only my weekly Wednesday column, but also, a special May 19th column, in honour of Kane.
What up, Peeps?! Let’s get this thing crackilackin’…
The show starts with “The Cutting Edge” with the World Heavyweight Champ hosting the number one contender Jeff Hardy
Edge starts off talking about their long and storied pasts and how it needs to end at Judgement Day. He then calls Jeff a loser and tells him to crawl back into his hole. Jeff has gotten better on the mic, but he continues to yell everything. This ends with Hardy hitting the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb. Whatever…moving on.
The first match of the evening is the Diva tag match with Miss Wrestlemania Santina Marella and Kelly Kelly taking on Beth Phoenix and Rosa Mendez
Diva wrestling blows! Santino..errr…Santina is hilarious, but Kelly Kelly sucks. This match was funny when Santino/a was involved. Otherwise, it was a big fat stinky turd. Anyways, Kelly Kelly gets the pin on Rosa. This match gets a 3 out of 10 just because of the pure comedic gold that is Santino/a.
Woo Woo Woo. The next match of the night is Finlay and Zack Ryder. You know it!
Youtube the video entitled “My new haircut” and tell me Ryder doesn’t look like the douchebag in that video. Woo Woo Woo… Finlay handles Zach Ryder in a pretty short one. This match gets a 5 out of 10. You know it!
The Main Event of the evening and a match that should Main Event at a ppv in the near future is The Shaman of Sexy John Morrison against Chris Jericho.
What a main event! John Morrison in amazing and Chris Jericho is….Chris f’ing Jericho!!! I want Morrison’s coat…that thing is awesome. Jericho has gotten a little pudgy lately, but is still great. Morrison maybe the most athletic guy in the WWE, and that’s saying something…that guy can hit some sick spots! The end of the match sees Shelton Benjamin’s music hitting and him appearing on screen. This distracts Morrison and Jericho hits the Code Breaker for the win. This match gets a 8.5 out of 10.
My favorite thing Jericho has ever done was the bet he had with Christian over who could hook up with Trish first. The bet was for…wait for it…wait for it…ONE CANADIAN DOLLAR! LMAO!!! There’s my cheap Christian plug of the night.
Overall this show was pretty good. It had good humor with Santino/a and a great match with Jericho and Morrison. The show gets a 7.5 out of 10. And now I shall leave you with a fact of life as I know it…The Office is awesome!!!
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is zero wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
WWE
Superstars: I dont actually watch this show each week. I’m assuming it isnt as good as the opening video for the 1996 version however. 1996 Opening Intro
Smackdown: It seems my predictions from previous columns have come true. Jeff Hardy has become #1 contender and Chris Jericho looks like wrestling Rey Rey for the Intercontinental Championship. I’d like to see John Morrison’s singles push truly begin, maybe start him off in the IC Title feud, then by the end of the year have him up at the World Title level.
ECW: Christian’s Champ and it seems his challengers are Swagger, Henry and Dreamer. So they bring over Kozlov and yet don’t put in the title picture. Instead, they have him against jobbers. Why draft Kozlov over then? He could be doing that on SmackDown!
RAW: Shane McMahon os NOT the Hulk. Even though his last name is McMahon, he does not have super mega ultra powers. It sickens me to watch Shane O hold his own against one of Legacy, let alone three. God I hope Batista doesnt win at Judgment Day. For whatever God it is that exists in the world, please don’t let Batista win.
TNA
iMPACT: Lashley has done a grand total of NOTHING so far. MotorCity Machine Guns and LAX were knocked out of the Tag Team tournament, which means it looks like an easy path through to the final for Beer Money Inc. Daniels is accused of being Suicide. Daniels denies and will continue to deny until Kaz is back and able to wrestle, then they will both appear in the ring at the same time, confusing the hell outta everyone. Then they will take off the Suicide mask and realize it was Mr. Dean, the Farmer. Then Mr. Dean will say that he woulda gotten away with it too, if it werent for those MotorCity Machine Guns.
Short-ish but sweet, just the way I like it. Dont forget to check out all the details about the Priceless Wedding over at VinceRussoWatchesHisBeardGrow.com. I am the REAL Legend Killer, reminding you, that the Daschund is the best dog to have sex with.
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
WWE Backlash
Backlash has been and gone. Matches were won and lost, and i didnt do any predictions. So, let’s just examine the happenings.
Christian def. Jack Swagger to become new ECW Champion.
Well, well. He finally wins the title. I knew that sooner or later he was gonna win. But the big question remains. Does this count as a major title win? I know that the ECW Championship counts as a major championship, but I, along with several other people, doesnt see the ECW Championship as nothing more than a re badged European Championship. Is this the stepping stone to Main Event level for Christian? My guess is no, as he needs to step up an extra couple of rungs up the ladder before he makes true Main Event status.
Chris Jericho def. Ricky Steamboat
Nice to see Jericho got the win. A loss here would have destroyed the small amount of credibility he has left. Also, I hope this is the end for Steamboat. He may still be able to go a little, but that doesnt mean that he should go a little. The novelty has worn off for Steamboat. As for Jericho, hopefull SmackDown! pushes him back up to Championship status, although seeing him stare down the Intercontinental Champion during the Draft coverage a few weeks back, spells his future.
Kane def. CM Punk
The relevance of this match? Filler. Thats all it was. they made up some thing about Kane being upset about not winning Money in the Bank at WrestleMania, but that did a rather lame job of hiding the fact that this match was only put there to fill up the card. Sadly, this match got in and yet the US Title, the Tag Titles, the IC Title and both Womens Titles didnt get defended. Just goes to show you how much the WWE think people want to see CM Punk. Even if the matches don’t mean anything.
Jeff Hardy def. Matt Hardy
This match was an I Quit match. If I am forced to sit down, and watch this Vampiro ripoff anymore, then I will quit. I do not understand how this guy is popular. Do they feel sorry for him because his house burned down? Do they feel sorry for him because he thought the name of this PPV was ‘Cracklash’? But seriously, I have no idea how Jeff Hardy got pushed, whereas Matt, the better of the two Hardys, didnt. Jeff became WWE Champion. He beat Edge for the belt, and was challenging former champion Triple H all the way. Yes, thats right, Triple H. The same Triple H whom Jeff Hardy beat for the Intercontinental Title back in 2001. Whereas Matt Hardy, well he beat Chavo Guerrero for the ECW Championship. The same ECW Championship that I referred to as a re badged European Championship earlier. I wonder what will happen now that they are on different shows? My guess is, Matt Hardy will do nothing, whilst Jeff challenges for the World Title.
Khali Kiss Cam
Joke. Santina loves JR and Khali beats up Beth Phoenix. What has Beth Phoenix done to piss someone off? She must’ve done something real bad to be invovled in this Santina/Santino, To-may-to/To-ma-to let’s call the whole thing off nonsense. Thats what they should do with Santina Marella. Call the whole thing off. it’s becoming more ridiculous by the second. Nice way to destroy Beth’s career.
Legacy def. Trips, Shane O and PenisHead, meaning Randy Orton is new WWE Champion
Oh my god, the all mighty Triple H got beaten. What ever will we do? I know, send Penishead after him. He’ll save the day! Newsflash. Deacon Dave is inept. The only thing he’s good for is holding collection boxes. On the other hand, having Randy as champ is a big PLUS. Now, why couldnt they have Orton win at ‘Mania? Surely that would’ve been the best time to have him win the belt.
Edge def. John Cena to become World Heavyweight Champion
Edge win the belt, with a very big assist from the Big Show. Let me make this loud and clear. John Cena is NOT Hulk Hogan. John Cena is NOT some sort of being with superhuman powers. John Cena is NOT a member of the X-Men. Is Edge not good enough to beat John Cena on his own? Does the major title on SmackDown!, have to change more than Vickie Guerrero does love interests? However Ladies and Gentlemen and this is where they really grind my gears. John Cena, appeared on RAW. Thats right, just one day after being thrown into a spotlight, John Cena appears the next night. Hulk Hogan sold more in his career, than John Cena ever will. I hope Edge holds the belt for awhile, unless he loses it to Jericho. Anyone else, and it will be a travesty.
TNA
Have I missed anything? Oh yeah, they have a PPV coming up. It’s like they have one every month or something. Anyways, the up-coming PPV is Sacrifice and Mick Foley will defend his belt against … well it could be a list of people. From Bug-Eyed Lashley, to BrokeNeck Angle, to Stung, to Mike Tyson’s lookalike. The list goes on and on. Also, theres a Tag Team Tournament to determine the #1 contender for the gold. The winner also receives a trophy and $100,000. If Beer Money doesnt win the tournament, then their belts back, then once again, it’s a travesty.
The Rest
Just some short little tidbits here. Whomever entered the competition won. You all win jack, and shit. Thank you for entering.
Finally, don’t forget my review of the WWE Vintage Collection will be up at WorldWrestlingInsanity.com inside the next 24 hours, so go check that out. Also, check out the various videos and toilet breaks throughout the review.
I am the REAL Legend Killer, reminding you to stay away from fat chicks, as you might end up with swine flu.
Holy crap, there was a WWE Pay Per View last night, wasn’t there? I haven’t seen more than 5 minutes of it (by time I sat down to watch it, I was exhausted), so I’m going to wing this. Here we go!
Christian def. Jack Swagger to become the new ECW Champion. Captain Charisma has finally won a World Championship – nevermind the fact that he’s, y’know, a two time NWA World Heavyweight Champion.
Chris Jericho def. Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat as if you couldn’t guess. Another accolade to add to Jericho’s Hall of Fame resume.
Kane def. CM Punk for some reason. The Money in the Bank briefcase wasn’t on the line, so um, yeah.
Jeff Hardy def. Matt Hardy in an “I quit” match that I’ve been told was WrestleCrap worthy and had a lackluster finish. You’d think after all the time they’d been wrestling together they’d be able to put on a show stealer.
Santina can’t kiss Khali because she’s in love with Jim Ross. Yup.
Santina Marella def. Beth Phoenix in an impromptu match for the title of Miss WrestleMania. I love Santino Marella’s character, but this angle must die.
Legacy def. Triple H, Shane McMahon, and Batista making Randy Orton the new WWE Champion – and all is right with the world. Well, except for the fact that for the moment, John Cena is the World Heavyweight Champion. Speaking of…
Edge def. John Cena in a Last Man Standing match to become the new World Heavyweight Champion! Now all is right with the world!
RAW coverage will be up later tonight, probably in the same format as last week, so stay tuned. Meanwhile, that other wrestling website’s owner must see that BWF is gaining a huge amount of popularity, because he decided to step up his game and do a Real-Time RAW Insanity tonight, if you’re into that sort of thing.
