“Impact” Impressions 10/28/10
3 CommentsSo Velvet Sky and Chris Sabin are dating in real life.
So Velvet Sky and Chris Sabin are dating in real life.
Happy “International Talk Like a Pirate Day!” Yaaar!!!
“Impact” did not air last week. Did anyone notice? (more…)
Tonight was I think the BIGGEST night in wrestling history in over ten years. Im proud to be apart of the BWF Family and im proud to be brining you iMPACT results so here we go…
The show kicks off with a hype video covering the history of TNA all the way up until the Hogan signing. Really great way to start the show especially for fans that haven’t seen Impact yet. We then cut to the Impact opening and it’s a new opening for this week.
The pyro goes off inside the Impact Zone and we are live! Over at the announce table Mike Tenay & Taz hype up the show for tonight and they talk about how electric it feels in the Impact Zone, and it is VERY loud. They run down the card which will feature the Steel Asylum for the very first time ever on Spike TV! Also, ODB gets a shot at the Knockouts Title and Tara. Rhino will face Abyss in Barbed Wire Massacre III! Beer Money faces the British Invasion in Full Metal Mayhem as well! Tenay and Taz say that Bubba the Love Sponge is now part of the TNA broadcast team and we cut earlier today with Bubba talking to fans outside the Impact Zone. The fans talk about what they expect from the Hulk Hogan signing. One guy actually has TNA tattooed on his arm, wow. And now we’re going to get right into the Steel Asylum!
Non-Title
Steel Asylum Match
Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. “Notorious 1-8-7” Homicide vs. Kiyoshi vs. “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Suicide vs. Amazing Red
Mike Tenay points out how there are 3 teams in this match and only Suicide & Amazing Red aren’t members of a tag team. Red’s X-Division Title is NOT on the line in this match. Those that don’t know the way to win this match is to escape the whole at the top of the cage! Suicide quickly tries to climb the cage as everybody starts going at it but Red joins him on the top rope and stops him. Lethal Consequences with a backbreaker and then a Russian Legsweep and Lethal holds Homicide in a Camel Clutch and then Creed hits a Sliding Dropkick. Lethal and Sabin are both climbing the cage but Kiyoshi climbs up and starts trading kicks with Lethal. Red with a spinning Enziguri on Suicide! Shelley is at the top of the cage as Sabin hits a Tornado DDT on Homicide. Lethal climbs up and tries to Powerbomb Shelley off the top but Shelley blocks it. Action is everywhere! Suicide with a spinning front slam on Red but then he eats the Lethal Combination from Lethal! Shelley then kicks Lethal in the face only to eat a running STO from Kiyoshi! Creed Press Slams Kiyoshi into a Gutbuster! Red with the Red Eye on Homicide! Suicide climbs up on the cage and starts climbing near the hole but Red quickly gets to the top as well and cuts him off! Red and Suicide brawl at the top rope and Suicide hip tosses Red off the top but he lands onto Sabin and hits a hurricanrana! Homicide has a baton and hits Red with it as Kiyoshi holds him but then he blats Kiyoshi with it out of nowhere! The bell rings as Homicide nails everyone with the baton and the fans boo. The match is a NO CONTEST due to the weapon, that is a lame finish.
Winner: NO CONTEST
Homicide climbs through the hole at the top of the cage as the fans “THIS IS BULLS*T” at what just went down. Homicide is having trouble climbing through the cage which causes the rest of the X-Division guys to climb up to come and get him but he falls down and tries to escape through the door but the rest of the guys drop back down and start beating on him. Jeff Hardy’s music hits! JEFF FUCKING HARDY IS IN THE CROWD! HOLY SHIT He climbs over the barricade and Homicide attacks him! Homicide is laying into Hardy but Hardy throws him into the cage wall! Hardy blasts Homicide with a sickening chair shot and then hits the Twist of Fate! HOLY COW! The fans are going nuts for Hardy as the rest of the X-Division wrestlers look on in shock! Hardy climbs to the top of the Steel Asylum and sits down and stares at the crowd!
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Footage of what just went down with Hardy is shown after the break. We then cut to the back where Shannon Moore meets Jeff Hardy coming back. They talk and walk off as we are back at ringside with Tenay & Taz. We then see footage of Hulk Hogan’s limousine getting a police escort to the show.
In the back Christy Hemme is with Kevin Nash. Nash seems to be excited as he says tonight is epic for TNA. He says he has many times called himself the smartest man in wrestling and that’s because it’s true, but his first mentor was Hulk Hogan. He says whatever company Hogan has worked with in the past has been #1 and that makes TNA on their way to TNA. He says with those numbers comes more money. He says there is a lot of reasons for him to be excited and then he starts to walk off, but he stops and says he just talked to Hulk a few minutes ago. He says a, he’s on his way and b, he’s not alone!
TNA Knockouts Championship
Tara (c) vs. ODB
ODB attacks Tara as she started to take her t-shirt off. ODB chokes Tara with the t-shirt behind the referees back and then she chops away at the chest of Tara. ODB goes for a Corner Splash but Tara hits a back elbow and then a dropkick. Tara then follows up with a clothesline. ODB and Tara trade big right hands but Tara gets the advantage with some nice leg kicks and then an Enziguri! Tara hits a Scoop Slam and then the Standing Moonsault! 1…2…NO ODB kicks out! Tara attempts to whip Tara into the corner but ODB counters and then charges at her, but Tara counters into the Tarantula! Tara follows up with a Slingshot Somersault Leg Drop from the apron onto ODB in the ring for another nearfall. Tara sets up for a Powebomb but ODB forces Tara into the corner and then goes for the TKO, but Tar blocks it and goes for another Powerbomb. ODB counters it into a rollup and holds the tights, 1…2….3 and ODB wins back her title!
Winner & NEW Knockouts Champ: ODB via pinfall (rollup)
After the match Tara hits the Widow’s Peak on ODB and then puts her tarantula on her. Tara then raises up the Knockouts Title as we cut to the back.
A limousine is shown arriving and in the words of Joey Styles OH MY GOD!!! IT’S RIC FLAIR! Beer Money and other staff members welcome Flair as he walks in!
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Back from commercials and Taz says that it was AJ Styles lockerroom that Flair walked into. we cut to more footage of fans earlier today, this time with Christy Hemme. She then sees Mick Foley arriving and she asks him what he’s doing. Foley says that he was barred from coming into the Impact Zone because he may be a problem. Foley says he doesn’t want to disrupt anything and he says he’ll be on his best behavior. He tries to get into the Impact Zone but security stops him and they say they have to escort him off the property.
Bobby Lashley’s music hits and he makes his way out to the ring accompanied by his wife. Kristal says tonight is the biggest night in TNA history as a big “Bobby” chant erupts. She says that Bobby wants to send a special message to Hulk Hogan. She says Bobby isn’t just a star in a pro wrestling, but also in MMA. He says no one can match his strength and potential. She says that pro wrestling is filled with a bunch of ‘inbred’ degenerates unlike MMA. The fans are getting all over her. She says Bobby is asking for his immediate release from TNA because they have better things to do! She says tonight is the last night we’ll ever see him and then she drops the mic and they leave!
In the back Velvet Sky tells the cameraman to follow her and she walks into a room where a poker table is set up with Madison & Lacey. She says tonight BP wanted to make the biggest impression tonight and she says since poker shows are so popular today that they’ll do one without a net. Lacey doesn’t know how to play Poker and says she wants 5 cards and Velvet calls her out on it. Lacey has a great hand but she’s dumb so she wins. Lacey strips off her jacket and Velvet says they’ll be there all night playing Strip Poker. Madison says when they lose, everyone wins.
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In the back Scott Hall and Sean Waltman are talking! They try to get in the Impact Zone but security won’t let them. Hall grabs one of the security guards by the throat and then Waltman grabs the other one as the rest of security tries to pull them off! Tenay says that TNA is the #1 trending topic on Twitter right now and then we see Hogan’s limo getting close to the Impact Zone.
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The limousine stops in the road and then someone pulled up in another limousine beside it and gets in Hogan’s limo!
Waltman and Hall walk in through the crowd now! The fans are going nuts for them as Hall flicks his toothpick at the camera.
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During the break they cut in to see Waltman & Hall taking pictures of each other in the front row and cheesing for the camera.
Hulk Hogan’s new music hits (very nWo sounding) and he makes his way out to a HUGE ovation! The fans are absolutely going nuts! Just a note here, Hogan is wearing all black. I don’t know if that means anything or not. Hogan sees Waltman and Hall at ringside and he smiles and nods his head towards them as they point at Hogan. Brooke Hogan (looking VERY bouncy) is shown in the audience. Hogan grabs a microphone as a ‘Hogan’ chant starts up and he soaks it all in. Hogan says TNA is making history tonight. He says there is so much talent in TNA and he says TNA will become the #1 company in the world. Hogan says he spent all day long talking to the talent and listening to their ides and now he feels the energy from the fans that he was dreaming for. He says there are a lot of old faces and new faces in TNA. Waltman and Hall are trying to get into the ring but security is holding them back. Hogan tells security to back off and tells them to get in the ring and for TNA to give them a mic! The fans are chanting “1-2-3” at Waltman. Waltman gives Hogan the nWo sign and he does it with both Hall and Waltman. Hall does his ‘Hey, Yo!’ thing to a huge reaction. Hogan says they know he’s all about the party but if they have something to say then say it right now. Hall says “say hello to the Bad Guy” and then he says that when he and Pac heard that Bischoff and Hogan were coming to TNA it meant one thing to them and that’s big paychecks, big arenas, and big parties. Hogan says this is a different time and a different place and it doesn’t work like that anymore. Waltman says that’s where Hogan is wrong and he says it is the same place with the same people and they’re there to party. Hogan says not this time and it’s going to be totally different this time. Hall says Hogan is the highest paid guy ever in wrestling and now he wants to change the business. Hogan cuts Hall off and says it’s time to grow up and do the right thing for the business. Hall says Hogan deserves everyone of the fans chants and he says things have changed. He says and they will with him or without him. Kevin Nash’s music hits now and Nash makes his way out to the ring! Nash grabs the microphone from Hall and hugs Waltman. He says Hogan has a role to play tonight so Hall and Pac need to let him play it. Hogan says it’s not a role and he says when he became a partner with Dixie he gave her his word to make a change in this business for the better. Big “TNA” chant starts up and Nash says that he’s been talking with Hogan for the past 5-6 weeks and that’s not the conversation they’ve been having. Nash asks Hogan when he turned so corporate. Hogan says it’s not about turning corporate and he says they are his brothers ‘4-life’ but it’s a different time now and they need to be forreal. Hall and Waltman look like they want to fight with Hogan but more music plays and it’s Eric Bischoff! Bischoff power walks down to the ring and we have a full blown nWo reunion in this ring now! Bischoff says it’s been awhile for all these guys and says it brings back memories. He says in the ring are the guys that changed the business. Bischoff says hopefully now they’re all a little smarter. He says he’s the one that putted that ‘band’ together in the first place. He says there has been a big breakdown in communication here and Waltman tells him to explain it to him now. Bischoff says that what Hogan is trying to say is that everybody has to earn their position in the company. Nash says he hears him loud and clear and they’ll talk to him later. Hall, Nash, and Waltman leave the ring as Bischoff and Nash look a little surprised. Hogan says in TNA everyone will have to earn the spot and he doesn’t care about past relationship or who thinks they’re on a role. Bischoff says he and Hogan have done it before and he’s sure they can do it in TNA because there is awhole lot of talent and heart in TNA. He says things will definitely change. He says he doesn’t care if you’re the World Champion or the cameraman, everyone is under a microscope. Hogan says the change starts tonight. Bischoff asks for the producer because he wants a format. Someone brings Bischoff the format and he rips it up. He says they’re starting over. He then pulls out somemore papers and gives it to So Cal Val and says that’s what’s going to happen tonight. Hogan says if you can’t talk and you can’t wrestle then you need to pack your bags and ‘head up north.’ We see Sting looking down on Bischoff and Hogan from the rafters!
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We get a shot of Sting up in the rafters from moments ago as we come back from break.
TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championships
Taylor Wilde & Sarita (c) vs. Awesome Kong & Hamada
Sarita and Hamada will start the match off. They lockup in the center of the ring and they stalemate. They lockup again and Hamda hits an arm drag but Sarita comes right back with one of her own. Hamada with a leg sweep but Sarita comes right back with another armdrag. Hamada goes for a clothesline but Sarita counters into a DDT. Taylor tags in and hits a Flying Armdrag off the top and then she follows up with a series of forearms. Taylor attempts to whip Hamada into the ropes but she counters it and lights up Taylor with chops. We get a split screen now showing JB finding the Machine Guns laid out in the back. Sarita tags back in and Hamada hits a double arm drag on them and then she tags in Kong. Sarita attempts a Crucifix type move on Kong but she blocks it and then Big Boots Taylor and drops down into a sort of Samoan Drop on Sarita! Kong gets a nearfall and Hamada charges at Taylor. Taylor backdrops Hamada over the top rope onto the apron and then hits an Enziguri! Taylor with a dropkick on Kong and then another dropkick. Taylor & Sarita then hit double dropkicks on Kong sending her out to the floor with Kong. Taylor climbs to the top and she hits a Flying Plancha off the top on Kong as Sarita hits a Suicide Dive through the ropes on Hamada the same time!
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Back from commercials Kong holds Taylor as Hamada hits a sliding dropkick. During the break Taylor hit a Moonsault on Kong for a nearfall and then Kong destroyed Taylor with a shoulder block. Hamada gets another nearfall back live on Taylor. Taylor comes back with forearms on Hamada but Hamada kicks her in the gut and then headbutts her. Hamada taunts Sarita by acting like she’s going to let Sarita get a tag and then she tags in Kong. Kong continues the beatdown on Taylor. Kong goes for the Awesome Bomb but Taylor blocks it and then comes back with a Codebreaker and then she tags in Sarita! Sarita hits a Springboard Missile Dropkick on Kong and then she ducks a clothesline from Kong only to eat a nasty Superkick from Hamada out of nowhere! Hamada is limping a bit in the ring. Kong and Hamada whip Sarita into the corner but she quickly springs to the top rope and attempts a Flying Cross Body but they catch her in midair! Kong and Hamada slam Sarita to the mat but then Taylor hits a gorgeous Hurricanrana on Hamada out of nowhere! Sarita then goes for a Rolling Hurricanrana on Kong but she blocks it and goes for the Awesome Bomb! Sarita counters into a Sunset Flip attempt but Kong destroys her by sitting down on her! 1…2…NO Taylor breaks it up with a dropkick! Sarita covers Kong, 1…2…NO Kong kicks out! Kong hits a Spinning Backfist on Sarita out of nowhere and then sets up for the Awesome Bomb again as Hamada throws Taylor into the ring post on the floor. Kong lifts Sarita up and then Kong hits a Missile Dropkick on Sarita sending her down into the Awesome Bomb! 1…2…3!
Winners & NEW Knockouts Tag Champs: Kong & Hamada via pinfall (Missile Dropkick/Awesome Bomb)
In the back BP are down to their bras now as Val Venis comes in! He asks if they need a fourth for their threesome. Velvet asks him what makes him think he can bust in on their game. He says they need something to take their little game to a whole new level. He says he just got out of the shower and if he loses a hand it’s all over for him. I don’t want to see that. Madison tells him to shutup and deal and he says this is going to be a very interesting night.
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Foley is still trying to get in the arena but security still won’t let him in. Foley says he has another plan and walks away as we see the Nasty Boys walk up. They try to get in but security stops them as well. They tell the Nasty Boys to go the gate and if they get clearance they can come in.
Raven & Stevie Richards w/Daffney vs. “Super Mex” Hernandez & “The Blueprint” Matt Morgan
Raven and Hernandez kick the match off. Hernandez hits a huge shoulder block and Raven quickly tags in Stevie. Hernandez tags in Morgan as well. Stevie ducks a clothesline from Morgan and kicks him in the gut. Stevie then kicks him in the head and then hits a Running Forearm Smash. Stevie comes off the ropes again only to eat a Carbon Footprint! 1…2…3! Raven attempted to stop the count but Hernandez cut him off.
Winners: Hernandez & Morgan via pinfall (Carbon Footprint)
In the back D’Angelo Dinero is with Christy Hemme. She says Hogan must think highly of Pope because he is one of the people Hogan wants to see tonight. Dinero says that doesn’t surprise him but what does surprise him is the fact that Christy is standing next to him and hasn’t ‘dipped her hand in the Pope’s cup’ yet. He says Desmond Wolfe stands in his way to the mountain top and then says he wants Wolfe to bring his very best tonight. Orlando Jordan walks up out of nowhere! Jordan tells Christy he’s a big fan of her and then says he’s a big fan of Pope too. He asks if he has seen Hogan and that Hogan invited him. Pope can’t believe it and tells Orlando to get to stepping because he’s interrupting his TV time. Jordan says Pope reminds him of himself and then offers a handshake but Pope doesn’t accept it. Pope calls Orlando a Whoopi Goldberg lookalike.
“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Desmond Wolfe
Wolfe and Dinero lockup in the ring and Wolfe immediately gets Dinero in a Full Nelson and then transitions into a Hammerlock and then a wristlock. Wolfe slams Dinero to the mat and then stomps the arm of Dinero. Wolfe then tries to slam Dinero into turnbuckles but he blocks it and then kicks Wolfe in the gut. Dinero then hits a backick followed by a front kick and then a running shoulder block! Dinero then goes for a Scoop Slam but Wolfe counters into the Hammerlock DDT! Wolfe then slams that shoulder into the top turnbuckle and follows up with a leg sweep. Wolfe whips Dinero into the ropes and Dinero goes for a Sunset Flip but Wolfe blocks it and grabs that arm again and slams it to the mat again. Wolfe with a crazy rolling armtrap (with the knee) and armbar on the other arm. That really looks painfull but Pope is able to counter it with a rollthrough but Wolfe kicks him in the head again. Wolfe follows up with a European Uppercut and then charges at Dinero in the corner, but Dinero sidesteps him and then hits a legsweep. Dinero then hits the Outer Limits Hanging Elbow Drop! Dinero comes right back with another slam and then he puts Dinero up on the top rope for the Tower of London! Pope blocks it and goes for that nasty Upperuct, but Wolfe avoids it and counters into a backslide attempt! Dinero lands on his feet and then rolls Wolfe up with a small package! 1…2…3!
Winner: Dinero via pinfall (small package)
In the back we see Jeff Jarrett arriving!
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In the back Rhino is laid out and JB is on scene but Bubba the Love Sponge walks up and takes the microphone from him and says he’s got it.
Clips from earlier with Hogan’s promo are shown.
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In the back AJ is with JB and he talks about being in TNA for all 7 years and he says he’s never felt something this electric. JB mentions that at Genesis AJ will defend his belt against Kurt finally. AJ says he can’t hold his belt with pride until he beats Kurt and he says at Genesis the world will find out who the best is. Eric Bischoff walks in clapping and says he has heard so much about AJ and it’s an honor to meet him. He says he has some good news and some bad news for AJ. He says the AJ-Angle match is off and that’s the bad news. He says the good news is the world does need to know who the best is and they will find out tonight because AJ will face Angle tonight for the belt instead! AJ says he’s ready and he hopes Kurt is! Now that is a huge match!
Jeff Jarrett’s music hits and the TNA founder makes his way out to the ring. Jarrett says it feels great to be back home in the Impact Zone. He says 7 years ago he founded TNA after about 15 years of hard work in the business. A “thank you Jeff” chant erupts. Jeff says every critic in the world said TNA wouldn’t last 6 weeks let alone 6 months, yet he’s standing in the middle of the 6-sided ring on a Monday night in the companies greatest night. He says he’s damn proud to be there too. He says he tried to convince Hogan for years to be apart of TNA but the time wasn’t right but tonight the timing is very right. Jeff says throughout his career his done some good things and some not so good things, but by far the most rewarding thing he ever did was giving guys like AJ Styles, Beer Money, Motor City Machine Guns, Daniels, and Samoa Joe a chance. He says ‘you ain’t seen nothing yet!’ and with Hogan partnering with Dixie and Jeff anything can and will happen in TNA. Hogan shows up on the video screen and says “so what, nobody cares” about anything he just said. He says if he heard ‘I’ one more time he was going to bring security out there after him. Hogan says that Jeff founded TNA but in a short amount of time he ran the company into the ground too. Hogan says now that the truth be told, if it wasn’t for Dixie Carter resurrecting TNA and giving the young guys a chance he wouldn’t be there. He says Jeff needs to straighten his act up and as far as he’s concerned and he’s now Dixie’s partner, not Jeff’s. He says the young guys will finally get a shot now with him. He says nobody cares about Jeff’s past accolades and one thing he does have right is that he and Dixie are going to take TNA to the top. He says Jeff has no voting power or power at all in TNA. He says Jeff needs to go get his boots and lace them up because he has to prove himself just like everybody else! Jeff looks shocked in the ring and not happy at all.
In the back Hemme is with Christopher Daniels. Daniels says he’s not worried about anything but JB walks up and interrupts the interview. He says he has Mick on the phone and he wants him to help him in. JB opens the door but JB says he can’t let him in and Mick says he’ll go through him to get to Hogan.
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In the back Jeff Hardy is painting something while Shannon Moore looks on. Shannon tells Jeff he has to start selling his paintings and then tells Jeff it’s time for their meeting with Hogan.
“The Monster” Abyss vs. “Samoan Submission Machine” Samoa Joe
No Barbed Wire Massacre tonight due to Bischoff & Hogan scrapping everything previously planned. This is, believe it or not, a first time matchup between these two one-on-one. Joe charges Abyss at the bell with a forearm and follows up with a series of jabs in the corner, some nasty jabs! Joe then attempts to whip Abyss into the corner but he counters it and goes for a Corner Splash. Joe moves out of the way and hits the Leaping Enziguri! Joe then follows up with the Facewash, that move is just so nasty. As Joe was going for the running kick to cap it off Abyss got to his feet and lays Joe out with a Big Boot! Joe rolls out to the floor and Abyss follows him but Joe kicks him in the gut and grabs a chair. Joe swings but Abyss ducks and Joe hits the ring post. Abyss throws Joe into the ringsteps and then rolls Joe back into the ring. Abyss with a series of right hands and then he whips Joe into the ropes and goes for a backdrop, but Joe stops and hits a kick to the head. Joe with chops followed by an Atomic Drop and then a Running Mafia Kick! Joe follows up with the Backsplash Senton! 1…2…NO Abyss kicks out. We see a shot of Sting watching this match in the back now. Joe comes off the ropes but Abyss grabs him by the throat for the Chokeslam, but Joe counters with a back elbow only to eat a clothesline from Abyss. Abyss with a Corner Splash and then the Sidewalk Slam. 1…2…NO Joe kicks out. Abyss goes for the Corner Splash again but Joe counters with a back elbow and then a big boot. Joe climbs to the top and hits a Flying Thrust Kick for another near fall. Joe with more jabs and then he hits a Running Forearm but it just fires Abyss up! Joe then levels Abyss with the Leaping Enziguri! Joe climbs to the top and dives but Abyss catches him with the Chokeslam! 1…2…NO Joe kicks out again! Joe rolls out to the floor again and Joe reaches out to pull Joe in but the referee pulls him away. Abyss shoves the referee out of the way and then starts to climb out of the ring and eats the chair shot from Joe! Joe climbs back in and locks Abyss in the Coquina Clutch! Abyss tries to get to the ropes but taps out!
Winner: Joe via submission (Coquina Clutch)
In the back Bischoff is talking to a staff member when Kristal walks up and she asks him if he’s going to say anything. Kristal says she wants to hear what Hogan says about Lashley wanting to leave. Bischoff says if she wants to meet with Hulk then she needs to go stand in line with everybody else and when she gets there she needs to check her attitude.
Bubba the Love Sponge is in the back and Beer Money is laid out now too. He says he has a pretty good idea who did it.
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Nasty Boys are still trying to get in but security says they’re not on the list. Bubba the Love Sponge walks up and says they have to be on the list. Bubba says the Nasty Boys have a history with Hogan and then he walks off with the security guy and the Nasty Boys sneak in.
We cut to JB who is with Angle. Angle says when he lost the title to AJ he never actually beat Angle and ever since then he knew they would face off one-on-one but didn’t think it would take this long. He says AJ cannot beat him. He says he’s great but he’s not the greatest and now it’s time for him to reclaim his World Heavyweight Title!
Shannon and Jeff are walking in the parking lot and they are carrying envelopes and Shannon is saying they got everything they came for. Some screaming girls run up and tell him how much they love him. He gives the girl his painting and then they get in their car to leave.
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Nasty Boys walk into Team 3D’s lockerroom because they are off in Japan. The Security guard walks in to apologize to them and he brings them doughnuts but they throw them at the security guy. They are trashing 3D’s lockerroom and they spray paint over Devon’s picture.
Main Event
TNA World Heavyweight Championship
“The Phenomenal” AJ Styles (c) vs. “Olympic Hero” Kurt Angle
This is the rematch that everybody has been waiting on! Kurt and AJ lockup with AJ getting the early advantage with a side headlock, but Angle quickly lifts AJ up into a Back Suplex. AJ holds onto the side headlock, though, on the mat! The fans are REALLY into this already. Angle gets to his feet and counters into a hammerlock and then a side headlock of his own. AJ shoves Angle into the ropes and AJ leapfrogs Angle and then goes for the Dropkick but Angle stops in his tracks but AJ never left his feet. Angle then charged at AJ only to eat the Phenomenal Dropkick! Angle quickly rolls out to the floor to catch a breather but you are not safe from AJ Styles out there! AJ with a slingshot but Angle moves and AJ lands on the apron. Angle reaches to grab AJ’s foot but he slingshots himself back into the ring. Angle starts to climb back into the ring but AJ knocks him back to the floor and then hits the Somersault Plancha over the top onto Angle on the floor! A huge “TNA” chant starts as AJ rolls Angle back in the ring. AJ with a series of forearms as the hooded man enters the ring and attacks AJ! Angle grabs the hooded man and nails him with a European Uppercut! The referee was knocked down in all of this so he didn’t see the interference. Angle then clotheslines the hooded man out to the floor and security drags him away as Angle offers a handshake to AJ. Angle tells AJ to ‘come on’ now. AJ with a slam attempt but Angle counters and whips AJ into the ropes, but AJ comes back and whips Angle into the corner. AJ with a running forearm and then a snapmare. AJ charges at Angle but catches a boot to the gut and then Angle follows up with a disgusting Running Powerbomb into the turnbuckles!
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Back from commercials Angle has AJ in a headlock on the mat. AJ fights to his feet and hits a back elbow and then he hits an arm drag. AJ then hits a big right hand and ducks a clothesline. AJ hits a back elbow and then another one. AJ with forearms in the corner and he whips Angle into the opposite corner. AJ charges in but Angle gets his boot up. Angle charges but AJ catches him with a Fireman’s Carry Neckbreaker over his knee! AJ charges at AJ in the corner and Angle backdrops AJ over the top. AJ lands on the apron and hits a forearm smash followed by an attempt at the Springboard Flying Forearm, but Angle catches him and hits the Belly-to-Belly Suplex! Angle goes for the Angle Slam but AJ counters it and hits a Discuss Clothesline! 1…2…NO Angle kicks out! AJ goes for the Styles Clash but Angle counters with a Double-leg Takedown and then he catapults AJ into the corner! Angle follows up with the Rolling German Suplexes! He hits 3 of them on that one. Angle goes for the Angle Slam again and again AJ counters it. AJ goes for the Pele but Angle avoided it and grabbed AJ’s leg and locks in the Ankle Lock! AJ rolls through into a pin, 1…2…NO Angle kicks out! The fans are going nuts! Angle with a lariat attempt, AJ ducks, Pele hits this time out of nowhere! 1…2…NO Angle still kicks out! AJ goes for the Styles Clash again but Angle reverses with a backdrop. Angle then attempts to whip AJ into the corner but AJ reverses it and then goes for a Flying Forearm. Angle moves and then hits the Angle Slam! 1…2…NO AJ kicks out now! Angle with a big European Uppercut and then he attempts to whip AJ into the ropes but AJ reverses it. Angle holds onto the rope so AJ charges at Angle but he backdrops AJ up and over the top rope. AJ lands on the apron and this time he connects with the Springboard Flying Forearm! Somewhere Michael Jordan is blushing at the height AJ Styles got on that one! AJ climbs to the top rope but Angle quickly gets to his feet and climbs to the top! Belly-to-Belly Superplex! 1…2…NO AJ still kicks out! Angle climbs to the top rope and goes for the Frog Splash but AJ rolls out of the way and Angle eats the mat! AJ goes for the Styles Clash again and this time he hits it! 1…2…NO Angle BARELY kicks out! AJ lifts Angle up and puts him up on the top rope. AJ climbs up with him for a Superplex but Angle shoves AJ off and then connects with the Frog Splash! 1…2…NO AJ kicks out yet again! Angle goes for the Angle Slam again but this time AJ reverses it into the DDT! 1…2…NO Angle kicks out! An hilarious “who needs Bret?” chant starts now. Styles goes for the Styles Clash again but Angle backdrops him. AJ rolls Angle up as he hits the mat but Angle rolls through and locks in the Ankle Lock! AJ rolls through but Angle holds onto him until AJ kicks him off. AJ goes for a Lariat but Angle ducks and hits a Release German Suplex! 1…2…NO AJ kicks out again! Angle whips AJ into the corner and charges but AJ hits a back elbow and then his the Springboard into the Phenomenon (Asai Reverse DDT)! 1…2…NO Angle kicks out! AJ climbs to the top as Angle gets to his feet. Angle crotches AJ and then climbs up to the top with AJ and hits a Super Angle Slam! 1…2……NO AJ STILL KICKS OUT! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Angle is frustrated and he grabs AJ’s ankle and locks in the Ankle Lock again! AJ reaches out for the ropes but Kurt pulls him back and AJ rolls through sending Angle headfirst into the middle turnbuckle! AJ hits a big Enziguri and then the Styles Clash! 1…2……NO WHAT?! ANGLE KICKED OUT AGAIN! AJ sets up for the Styles Clash again but Angle reverses and locks in the Ankle Lock again! This time he drops back and great veins the leg! AJ is about to tap as Ric Flair walks out and AJ rolls over and starts kicking Angle repeatedly! Ric Flair is looking on in the ring. Angle charges at AJ but he sidesteps Angle and he goes headfirst into the ring post! AJ hits a Back Suple and then he rolls out to the apron as Tenay says we’ll stay with this match as long as it goes! AJ hits the Springboard 450-Splash! 1…2…NO Angle kicks out yet again!
———————-COMMERCIAL BREAK————————-
Back from the break Flair continues to watch on at the match as Angle has AJ in a Triangle Choke! AJ counters the Triangle into the Styles Clash, but Angle counters it into the Ankle Lock again! AJ rolls over and kicks Angle off! Flair walks back down the tunnel as AJ rolls Angle up and then hits the Styles Clash again! AJ doesn’t have the strength to roll Angle over like he normally does but he’s finally able to roll Angle over and then he goes out to the apron. AJ hits the Springboard 450-Splash again! 1…2…3 and AJ retains the title! Winnner & STILL World Champ: Styles via pinfall (Springboard 450)
After the match Angle shakes AJ’s hand and then they hug. Hogan’s music hits and he walks out to the stage. Hogan says those are the two greatest wrestlers in the business today. Hogan says he has nothing but respect for Angle and AJ just raised the TNA bar to a whole new level. Hogan says this situation will go on and on and he says that they made history tonight. He says this is the beginning of the greatest rise in the history of wrestling. Someone runs up to Hogan and says something to him and Hogan runs off. We see Foley looking for Hogan and he busts into BP’s poker game and Val says he doesn’t know where the hell Hogan is. Val says he’s not intimidated by Foley and Foley again asks where Hogan is. Val says he’s down the hall and to the left. Foley walks to the office and busts in where Bischoff is sitting. Bischoff says Foley has no influence, power, or control in TNA now and his only choice is to put his boots on and fight for his job. Foley says he accepted that he worked for Dixie Carter and he could MAYBE accept working for Hogan but he made a choice a long time ago that he would never work for Bischoff. Foley says he’s going to give Bischoff a reason to fire him and that’s knocking his teeth down his throat. Then Nash grabs him by the back of the head out of nowhere and slams his head into the desk! Hall and Waltman then take turns laying Foley out! Hogan runs in and stops what’s going on. Hogan looks on at what we just saw as we fade to black!
I haven’t actually seen the show – in fact, I forgot about it until about 5 minutes ago – so here are the results from TNA’s Turning Point 2009 PPV!
Lackluster Amazing Red def. Homicide to retain the TNA X-Division Championship
ODB, Taylor Wilde, and Sarita def. The Beautiful People (Lacey Von Erich, Velvet Sky, and Madison Rayne) to retain the TNA Knockouts and TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championships
The British Invasion (Brutus Magnus and Doug Williams) def. The Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelly and Chris Sabin) and Beer Money, Inc. (James Storm and Robert Roode) in a triple threat tag team match to retain the TNA World Tag Team Championships.
Tara def. Awesome Kong in a Six Sides of Steel match
Team 3D (Brother Ray and Brother Devon) and Rhino def. Matt Morgan, Hernandez, and D’angelo Dinero.
Scott Steiner def. Bobby Lashley in a No-Disqualification Falls Count Anywhere Match
Kurt Angle def. Desmond Wolfe
AJ Styles def. Daniels and Samoa Joe in a Triple Threat match to retain the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.
Here I am, once again, doubling up on his dose of iMPACT for the week. With Spike TV’s airing of Global iMPACT 2, from Japan.
We begin with a promo for the event, involving Angle, Nash, Shelley and Team 3D.
Global Impact 2, is footage from Wrestle Kingdom III, January 4, 2009.
The results were as follows:
Dark Match: Milano Collection AT, Minoru and Taichi Ishikari def. Mitsuhide Hirazawa, Kazuchika Okada and Nobuo Yoshihashi
Mistico, Ryusuke Taguchi and Prince Devitt def. Averno, Jado and Gedo
Jushin Liger and Takuma Sano def. Wataru Inoue and Koji Kanemoto
GLOBAL IMPACT 2 FEATURED MATCH#1:
IWGP JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS
MotorCity Machine Guns (Alex Shelley/Chris Sabin) def. No Limit (Yujiro/Tetsuya Naito)
IWGP JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Tiger Mask IV retains against Low Ki
GLOBAL IMPACT FEATURED MATCH#2:
Riki Choshu, Masahiro Chono, Kurt Angle and Kevin Nash def. Giant Bernard, Takashi Iizuka, Tomohiro Ishii and Karl Anderson
ZERO1 WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Yuji Nagata (c) def. Masato Tanaka
Jun Akiyama def. Manabu Nakanishi
GLOBAL IMPACT 2 FEATURED MATCH#3:
IWGP TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
HARDCORE MATCH
Team 3D (Brother Ray/Brother Devon) def. Most Violent Players (Togi Makabe/Toru Yano)
Hiroyoshi Tenzan and Satoshi Kojima didnt start, due to an eye injury to Tenzan.
Shinsuke Nakamura and Hirooki Goto def. Mitsuharu Misawa and Takashi Sugiura
IWGP HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Hiroshi Tanahashi def. Keiji Mutoh
This concludes the double-header of iMPACT. I have been the one they call ‘Your Legend Killer’.
Let’s cross the line, peeps!
“Last Chance to Surrender”
Really? To whom? Do I get to choose?
We open with a match! Excellent!
Match #1: Rhino vs. Sting: This match is part of the tournament to determine who joins Matt Morgan and Kurt Angle in the 4-way main event title match at “No Surrender.” Rhino assaults Sting with a barrage of punches and power. Sting gets Rhino in the Scorpion Death Lock, but Sting can’t even sit down into it anymore. Rhino gets Sting in a body scissors, but Sting refuses to tap out. Rhino lands some stiff chops on Sting. Rhino hits a belly to belly suplex. Rhino goes for a Gore, but Sting dodges it, and plants Rhino with the Scorpion Death Drop. Sting gets the pin and the three count. Sting advances in the tournament. Rhino lays Sting flat with another Gore post-match. The crowd chants “You suck!” Rhino flips off the crowd.
A recap of Rhino’s poat-match assault on Sting. AJ Styles and the TNA trainer see to Sting, and Sting may have cracked ribs.
To the Main Event Mafia locker room. Booker T babbles incoherently. Something about Matt Morgan. Kurt Angle talks about having to fight Morgan. Kip James is trying to put in phone lines. Booker babbles more. He needs to stop. Booker insults Kip, and Kip leaves. Scott Steiner tries to talk down Booker. They continue playing putt-putt golf.
Match #2: Chris Sabin (w/ Alex Shelley) vs. AJ Styles: Some matches, you just have to sit back and enjoy. This is one such match. Just listing the moves doesn’t do it justice anyway. It was counter after counter after counter. AJ wins with the Styles Clash. Alex Shelley was gold on commentary with Tenay and Taz. It’s AJ who advances in the tournament to join the main event at the ppv. Sabin looked awesome in th ematch though. Not that I’m biased or anything….
To the back! Lauren talks to Hernandez about fighting Homicide in the tournament. Eric Young interrupts them. He tells Hernandez that his dreams were crushed, that people like them don’t get a fair shake. Young is going to open Hernandez’s eyes, that he is his brother.
Daniels, the Number One Contender to the X-Division title, hits the ring, and he has a mike. He calls out X-Division Champion Samoa Joe. I love Joe’s new music, even though it isn’t really new. Daniels remembers a time when TNA revolved around the X-Division and three men: Samoa Joe, Daniels, and AJ Styles. We remember that too, Daniels! The three of them became like family. “Unbreakable,” 2005. The first and only time that the X-Division title was defended in the main event of a TNA ppv. The match involved those three, and that night set everything for TNA at the highest level. Joe is bored and tries to leave, but Daniels stops him. Daniels says that the MEM is afraid of Joe. Joe took the money from the MEM and threw away his friendships and his integrity. Daniels asks how Joe’s wife and son can respect him. Joe snaps and throws Daniels over in a brutal suplex.
To the back! Lauren interviews Matt Morgan. Morgan says that he and Kurt Angle have each other’s backs, and all is great with them.
Match #3: Suicide vs. Doug Williams: This is the third tournament match to determine who gets in the main event title match at the ppv. Doug Williams goes for power and technical mat work. Suicide counters with a more high-flying style. Poor Williams didn’t even get an entrance. Lots of “USA!” chants at Williams. Williams overpowers Suicide, chokes him in the ropes, and otherwise tries to ground the masked man. A snap suplex gets Williams a two-count. Suicide fights back with punches, and lands a dropkick on Williams. “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero comes down and Suicide hits a flying cross body on him. Dinero’s distraction allows Williams to land the Chaos Theory suplex on Suicide and get the pin and win. Doug Williams advances.
To the back! Jeremy Borash talks to Sting about his injured ribs, and Sting not being in his prime. Sting knows that this is his last chance, and he’s going to take it.
The Beautiful People sit on their thrones backstage.
To the back! Lauren interviews The Beautiful People, who don’t care who Madison Rayne’s tag team partner is next week. They’re going to beat Madison Rayne with the ugly stick.
Match #4: Sojourner Bolt and Hamada vs. Christy Hemme and Tara: Tara and Hamada start. The action between Hamada and Tara is great! Hamada tags in Bolt, and Tara throws her around a bit before tagging in Hemme. Hemme gets a two-count on Bolt, and Hamada tags in. We cut to a commercial break. When we return, Bolt and Hemme are in. Tara tags in, and flattens Bolt with a clothesline. Tara gets the win with the Widow’s Peak. Post-match, Hamada plants Bolt with the Hamada Driver and leaves. Tara and Christy Hemme win.
To the back! JB asks Kurt Angle about Matt Morgan and mind games. Morgan comes up and claims that at the ppv, the world title match will come down to Morgan and Angle, and there will be no questions asked.
A video package detailing the history of LAX airs. This is the end of LAX. That makes me sad. We never got the big LAX vs MCMG tag team title feud that we should have gotten.
Match #5: Homicide vs. Hernandez: This is the last qualifying match for the World title match at the ppv. They shake hands and hug at the start. Hernandez powers down Homicide. Hernandez dominates the match, but Homicide counters with high-flying and scores a two-count. Hernandez recovers and dominates again. Hernandez gets the win after a hugely impressive slam. Homicide looks unhappy.
To the back! Lauren talks to the British Invasion. Doug Williams says that he will take on AJ alone, and talks him up with respect.
To the back! JB talks with AJ Styles about his upcoming match. AJ is rising from the ashes.
Kurt Angle comes out to commentary.
Match #6: AJ Styles vs. Doug Williams: This match determines one of the two competitors in the ppv main event match. This was another really good match that I just had to sit back and enjoy. Very technically sound. AJ wins after his reverse DDT from the top rope. Really good work.
To the back! Team 3D has Jesse Neal’s back.
Match #7: Hernandez vs. Sting: Not much here, as Homicide ran in and assaulted Sting in the ribs with a bat. Hernandez is disqualified, and Sting gets the win. Homicide is unmasked as Eric Young. Hernandez is very unhappy.
Hernandez is in the ring with the mic, and gets jumped by The British Invasion, followed shortly by the entirety of World Elite. AJ Styles rushes the ring, followed by Beer Money and Team 3D. Major brawling ensues. Team 3D and the audience yell about tables. JT is not here to get them. Bashir is about to go through a table when Booker T and Scott Steiner run down and help the heels turn the tide in their favor. The faces get demolished, and the MEM music plays.
FINAL THOUGHTS: Wow. Two great wrestling matches, one really good wrestling match, and a blistering Daniels promo. Chris Sabin looked awesome, even in defeat, and should call me at once. Alex Shelley was tremendous on commentary. Tara and Hamada can really go, and would have a great series of matches if allowed. Christy Hemme still can’t wrestle, and Sojourner Bolt is just there. AJ Styles lived up to his moniker again, and by all rights, should win at the ppv. He probably won’t, but he should. Doug Williams reminded everyone just how good he really is. Joe and Daniels built beautifully to their ppv match. Matt Morgan’s interaction with Kurt Angle was great. This was a very solid “Impact,” and I’m stoked about ordering the ppv, as well as next week’s show.
Check back with us at BWF for all your wrestling goodness!
Peace out,
Drowgoddess
JB and Lauren sound completely hoarse and strained vocally.
Lauren interviews Beer Money. Robert Roode talks at length in a sympathetic and reverent manner about Team 3D and their IWGP Tag Team title defense in Japan just before the TNA ppv. Beer Money bursts into hysterical laughter and talk about not caring at all that Team 3D would do something like that, and that they will still win.
Pre-show: Eric Young & Rhino vs. The British Invasion
Brutus Magnus and Doug Williams enter, accompanied by Rob Terry. Eric Young enters, looking disdainful of the whole thing. Rhino enters last, accompanied by two “special managers” who had won some kind of TNA promotion. Rhino was hugely over, and loud “Rhino!” chants kickstarted the match. Rhino extends the hand to make a tag, and EY pulls away. He drops down to the floor and refuses to make the tag. EY walks up the ramp to the back, where he is confronted by Jesse Neal. EY shoves Neal and exits. Neal moves to ringside, while the British Invasion works over Rhino. Magnus and Williams shake hands while double-teaming Rhino. Referee Rudy Charles yells at Neal for his presence, and Neal says that EY left. Charles appears to be ok with Neal filling in as Rhino’s partner. Rhino eventually tags in Neal, who cleans house at first. The British Invasion hits him with their double-team finishing move, and get the pin and victory. Rhino looks incredibly angry about the entire situation.
Lauren interviews Sting. Sting is confident, not overconfident like Matt Morgan. He says “Matt” many times. He’s confident because of his twenty-something years in the business, and his mission is what it always was: to return respect to TNA.
The song used with the opening video package is by the Goldy Locks Band. Yes, as in she who was once a manager in the early days of TNA.
X-Division title match (King of the Mountain)
Suicide vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin
Is this match first because it could be the match of the night, and having it first might pull some last-minute buys? Lance Storm says that putting your third-biggest match as the opener is the way to go, so that would certainly make sense here. KOTM rules are clearly explained by Mike Tenay. Curtis Granderson of the Detroit Tigers gets his own entrance, and comes out first. Jay Lethal enters first, Alex Shelley second (to a huge reaction), Consequences Creed third, Chris Sabin fourth (to another huge reaction), and lastly, the champion Suicide. “Can’t he just come in the regular way?” Don West, you funny, funny man! Suicide appears on the top of the KOTM penalty cage. All four guys rush Suicide and beat him down. Huge chants of “Motor City!” Suicide takes out all four guys with a ladder to big cheers. Suicide Solution onto the ladder on Lethal for a pin. Suicide is eligible, Lethal goes to the penalty box. Suicide pins Shelley, and Shelley goes to the penalty box. Suicide and Lethal go, Sabin throws a chair at Suicide’s head. Sabin invites Lethal to use the chair, then sits down in it. Lethal hits the Lethal Combination on Suicide onto the chair, causing Sabin to jump up at the last second. Lethal pins Suicide, with Sabin and Creed piled on top of him. Lethal is now eligible, and Suicide goes into the penalty box. Lethal Consequences and the MCMG jump around in a circle, doing the luche libre celebratory arm pump. Creed pins Shelley, making Creed eligible and sending Shelley to the penalty box again. Suicide monkeyflips Sabin onto the ladder. Sabin climbs the ladder to the top of the penalty box and makes a spectacular leap to the floor, taking out Suicide and Lethal Consequences. Shelley tries to climb the ladder without the belt, and is told no. Shelley and Sabin look at each other, and Sabin drops to the mat for Shelley to pin. Sabin fights the pin just a little, and claims that Shelley pulled his tights. Shelley gets the belt and climbs the ladder while Sabin goes to the penalty box. When he gets out, Sabin hits a huge tornado DDT on Lethal. Now all five guys are eligible to win, and Lethal goes to the penalty box. Sabin hits the Cradleshock on Suicide, sets up the ladder, and climbs the ladder, but Suicide stops him. Sabin hits a hesitation dropkick on Suicide after putting him in the tree of woe, but as he climbs the ladder, Lethal comes back in. Shelley hits Lethal with a frog splash. Creed hits Shelley with an enziguri. Sabin hits the ladder set up by Shelley back-first. Lethal drops a elbow on Sabin as he lays on the ladder. Shelley and Suicide hit the floor by the announce table. Creed and Shelley slug it out on the ring apron. Shelley superkicks Creed, then follows up with a Sliced Bread on the ring apron. Suicide goes after Shelley, who attempts a Sliced Bread on Suicide off the side of the penalty box. Huge booing when Suicide goes to put up the title belt. Lethal pushes over the ladder. Suicide ends up on top of the penalty box with the ladder. Suicide and Creed fight on the top of the penalty box with the ladder planted on Lethal’s back. Shelley sets up another ladder and climbs it, but Suicide leaps off the top of the penalty box and knocks Shelley to the floor. Suicide climbs the ladder and hangs the belt, retaining the X-Division title to smattered applause and lots of boos.
Winner and still X-Division Champion: Suicide
Daniels vs. Shane Douglas (Second Chance match)
Douglas opens by yelling to cut his music and insults Detroit for treating a legend from Pittsburgh so poorly. Daniels enters next. Daniels dominates the opening. Douglas works over Daniels’s arm rather viciously, but Daniels hits the Best Moonsault Ever and scores the pin.
Winner and still on the TNA roster: Daniels
JB interviews Mick Foley in the back. JB doesn’t like Foley’s mathematical chances. Foley says that Jarrett won’t be against him after the bash that he threw him, and in terms of business, the two of them need to be on the same side and keep him champion for as long as possible. Foley will prepare for his next title defense at “Bound for Glory.” That’s “Bound for Glory” 2010, eighteen months from now.
Angelina Love vs. Tara (Knockouts title match)
Tara enters sporting a more MMA-style look. Her new shirt says, “Tara is Rising.” Coolness. Angelina Love enters with Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne, who stay at ringside. Don West’s commentary here is gold! A face-to-face standoff starts things. Tara dominates Love at first. Tara kicks Love through the ropes, and while the referee is checking on Love, Sky and Rayne jump Tara and throw her back in the ring. Love gets a two-count, hits a spinning heel kick, and gets a second two-count. Love distracts the referee again while Rayne and Sky throw Tara into the stairs. Tara is thrown back into the ring, but kicks out at two and a half. Tara’s punches look really stiff. Tara plants Love with a sidewalk slam, but doesn’t go for the cover. She goes to the floor and punches Sky in the face four times. Rayne runs up and gets several blows to the face for her trouble. Tara returns to the ring, only to get sprayed in the eyes with perfume or hair spray. Love pins her for the three-count.
Winner and still Knockouts Champion: Angelina Love
Lauren interviews Dr. Stevie, Raven, and Daffney backstage. Raven cuts a brilliant promo on Lauren and then on Abyss. Trust me, you have to see and hear it for yourself. The group hug with psychotic laughter that ends in what sounds like near-tears is the greatest ending ever.
Abyss & Taylor Wilde vs. Raven & Daffney (mixed tag team “Monster’s Ball” match)
Dr. Stevie, Raven, and Daffney enter first. Don West’s commentary here has to be heard to be believed. He talks about the faction reminding him of his own family and his crazy Uncle Clarence. Taylor and Abyss throw Raven and Daffney into each other. Abyss tosses Taylor over his head and she smashes into Raven and Daffney in the corner. Abyss charges into the corner, but Raven dodges and Abyss squashes Daffney. Taylor goes after Daffney and Abyss hits Raven with a trashcan. Abyss lifts Daffney up in a press slam and launches her over the ropes into Dr. Stevie and Raven. Taylor follows with a flying body press onto the group. Abyss and Raven brawl into the crowd. Daffney jumps on Abyss’s back, but Taylor slams a pair of trash can lids into the sides of Daffney’s head. Taylor and Daffney go at it on the floor, and Raven and Abyss continue brawling into the crowd. Taylor climbs up on top of some speakers and sound equipment and leaps off to splash Daffney through a table. Raven gets a kendo stick and hits Abyss with it. Abyss gets busted open after he pulls out a bag of thumbtacks. Taylor hits Raven with a trashcan lid while he chokes Abyss on the ropes. Daffney takes out Taylor in return. Abyss hits Raven with the kendo stick. Dr. Stevie distracts the referee, but gets knocked down from ringside. Abyss launches Taylor onto Raven, but Dr. Stevie grabs the referee’s leg and stops the count. Abyss pours a bag of tacks out onto the mat. Daffney sneaks up behind Abyss and hits him. Daffney gets caught between Abyss and the tacks, and begs off. Taylor throws Daffney onto the tacks! Taylor goes for the pin, but Dr. Stevie breaks it up. Abyss goes to chokeslam Dr. Stevie onto the tacks, but Raven stops it. Abyss plants Raven with a Black Hole Slam onto the tacks and gets the win.
Winners: Abyss and Taylor Wilde
JB interviews Jeff Jarrett in the locker room. Jarrett has said that he has no desire to be champion again, but he has also said that tonight, he takes his company back. Isn’t that contradictory? Jarrett says no. He doesn’t want the responsibility of being champion because he has enough to do running the company. He will win back the title to stop Mick Foley’s reign of terror and get his company back on track. He will figure out what to do with the World title after he wins it tonight.
Matt Morgan vs. Sting (winner gets spot in the Main Event Mafia)
Morgan overpowers Sting. The reaction for Sting coming out was HUUUGE! Morgan throws Sting into the rail, and they fight on the floor. Morgan throws Sting back into the ring. Sting cuts Morgan off as he tries to get back in the ring. They fight on the floor again, and Sting kicks Morgan in the back of the leg. They get back in the ring, and Sting continues to work over the leg of Morgan. Morgan gets the upper hand and dominates Sting again, slamming himto the mat. Tenay and West talk a great deal about the match between Morgan and Kurt Angle, and the respect that Angle seemed to show Morgan then. Morgan squashes Sting in the corner, hits him with a sidewalk slam, and gets a two-count. Morgan chokes Sting on the ropes, then moves to choke holds on the mat. Sting throws some punches, but they lack power. Sting hits a high-risk jump, but walks into a Carbon Footprint and gets a two-count. Morgan attempts the Hellavator, but Sting gets out of it. Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop on Morgan, but Morgan kicks out at two. Sting applies the Scorpion Death Lock, but Morgan powers out quickly. Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop from the second rope and gets the three-count.
Winner (and still in the Main Event Mafia): Sting
Lauren interviews Samoa Joe and AJ Styles. AJ says that they’re taking the company back and putting it in the hands of the guys who built it. Joe is targeting Angle tonight, and he has already taken out the rest of the Main Event Mafia, one by one. He is hunting, and tonight, he and AJ will become the most powerful force in the history of professional wrestling.
Beer Money vs. Team 3D (Tag Team Championship title match)
Tenay accuses West of spending the previous night in the hotel bar with James Storm doing 12-ounce curls. West says that it was his birthday, and where the hell was Tenay? Awesomeness! Devon and Storm start. Loud chants of “We want tables!” Storm kicks out at two, and Roode tags in. Roode gets a two-count on Devon, and Ray tags in. Ray and Roode exchange punches. Roode goes for two clotheslines that have no effect, ducks one from Ray, and hits a flying forearm on Ray. Ray delivers several stiff open-hand slaps to Roode’s chest. Storm and Devon tag in. Roode crotches Devon on the ring post. Storm punches Devon on the mat. Roode and Storm fake a tag, and Roode and Devon go. Storm legitimately tags in.Team 3D hit the “Wazzup” on Roode. Ray directs the crowd in a huge chant of “Get the tables!” Storm cut off Devon on the floor. Roode and Ray go in the ring. The “Beer Money” salute was pretty loud too. The British Invasion comes down to ringside, to chants of “USA! USA!” The British Invasion sits at the announce table and comments, being quite friendly with Don West and antagonistic to Mike Tenay. Commentary from the British Invasion is great! Rob Terry climbs up on the apron to distract the referee, resulting in Ray climbing to the top rope and landing a flying body press on Terry to the floor! Storm tries to spit beer in the eyes of Team 3D, but misses and blinds Roode by mistake. Team 3D tries to capitalize and hits the 3D on Roode, but Rob Terry has distracted the referee again. Beer Money hits the Drinking While Investing (DWI) and gets the win! Huzzah!
Winners and NEW TNA Tag Team Champions: Beer Money
JB interviews Kurt Angle in an empty locker room. Angle says he’s winning the belt. The Main Event Mafia will resume their position and they will all be celebrating.
World Heavyweight Championship match (King of the Mountain)
Mick Foley vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe
Each competitor got a short video package prior to his entrance. Nice touch. Joe comes out wearing a Detroit Red Wings jersey. Angle comes out wearing a Pittsburgh Pengiuns jersey. Joe attacks Angle before the bell rings to start the match. The two referees announce that because of Joe’s actions, he starts the match in the penalty box, and Angle is eligible to hang the belt. Foley stands on the ladder outside of the ring while Jarrett and AJ work over Angle. Foley pulls Jarrett down on top of himself for a pin. Jarrett is now eligible, and Foley goes to the penalty box. Joe chokes out Foley with the Kokina Clutch, making Joe eligible and sending Foley to the penalty box again. Foley leaves the penalty box and shoves over the ladder that Joe stands on, and Joe lands on the legs of the ladder. Ouch! The entire ladder is bent and twisted. Joe hiptosses Foley into the ladder as Foley charges him. Jarrett tries to stand the ladder up, but it’s useless. Jarrett throws the ladder at Angle on the floor instead. Jarrett gets a new ladder. Jarrett, Angle, and Joe are eligible at this point. Jarrett sets up a ladder and climbs it, but Angle and Foley stop him. AJ stomps Angle and moves the ladder. AJ attempts a tornado DDT, but Angle blocks it and suplexes AJ into the ladder. JArrett tries to hit Angle with his guitar, but Angle blocks it. Angle gets Jarrett in the Angle Lock, but Jarrett uses his free leg to roll out and smashes Angle in the head with the guitar. Jarrett sets up a ladder and climbs it, with Foley coming up the other side. Foley tells Jarrett to give him the belt. Jarrett refuses, and the two exchange punches. AJ flies in, kicking over the ladder and knocking everyone to the mat. It’s Styles and Foley, Joe and Jarrett. Angle is out. Foley climbs up on top of the penalty box. AJ follows him. Foley teases a DDT off the box. Styles teases throwing Foley through the announce table. Foley throws AJ off the box and into the ring. Foley jumps off the box to hit an elbow on Angle. Foley gets a three-count, and Angle goes to the penalty box. Foley is now eligible. AJ is the only one who isn’t. AJ takes his Legends title belt off the announce table, hits Foley in the back with it, and kicks Foley off the ladder. Joe and AJ take turns working over Foley. Joe elevates AJ over the top rope to take out Foley. Jarrett runs into Joe with a ladder. AJ pins Foley on the floor outside. All five guys are now eligible, and Foley is back to the penalty box. AJ and Jarrett climb the ladder. The title belt falls to the mat as Jarrett and AJ exchange punches. Angle attacks Jarrett, who jumps off the ladder to DTT Angle. Joe and AJ fight. Joe climbs the ladder, but AJ grabs his foot and pulls him down. AJ tries to climb the ladder, but Joe stops him. Joe flies through the ropes to take out Jarrett and Foley. AJ tries to hang the belt, but Joe pulls him off and powerbombs him. Joe climbs one side of the belt as Angle climbs the other. Joe hands Angle the belt and Angle hangs it up. Angle wins, through help from Joe! The entirety of the Main Event Mafia comes out on the ramp, cheering as Joe and Angle hug at the top of the ladder.
Winner and NEW World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle
FINAL THOUGHTS: The Joe/Angle thing threw me completely. Peole who think that the opening X-Division title match had no psychology and no story and was a train wreck spotfest are completely wrong. Tenay and West should NOT be talking about how Raven and Abyss “aren’t afraid of dying in the ring” period, and certainly not just after Misawa’s death in the ring. Daffney took the thumbtacks bump! Is there anything NOT amazingly awesome about her? Sting botched his reversal of Morgan’s Hellavator into the Scorpion Death Drop, and while he did get it back shortly, this should be kept in mind while he talks (yet again) about retiring this year. It’s understood that veterans often say that to gain concessions from the company in contract negotiations. One botched move at a ppv doesn’t mean that a person should be fired, but would that be acceptable for, say, Alex Shelley? Look, if Sting can’t go anymore, he can’t go anymore. Why the hell can’t Team 3D just lose? Honestly, do there have to be so many reasons set up as to why they lost the belts? Title defense in Japan, jet lag, just got to the building with no rest, cheating tactics of Beer Money, involvement of the British Invasion, enough! If anyone can win on a given night, just have a clean loss, already!
This was a very solid ppv, and if the usual TNA bashing occurs tomorrow, it certainly won’t be because the show was awful. I paid for this show, and the opening match alone was well worth the money. Of four championship title matches, the first two saw the champions retain and the second two saw new champions crowned. There will certainly be a great deal of fall-out from all seven matches that could go in a number of interesting directions. Next week’s “Impact” should be something good. Check back with us next Thursday night/Friday for all your TNA “Impact” needs!
Peace out,
Drowgoddess
Your Empress of “Impact” has waxed obsessive lately in regard to Ultimate X matches. After watching several on dvd for the gazillionth time, I actually e-mailed TNA. I asked if they had ever considered releasing a dvd of every Ultimate X match ever done. (more…)
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Welcome to “Main Event Mess!” That’s our anime-ish title for this week. We open in Jeff Jarrett’s office. He’s the founder of TNA. Jim Cornette pleads with Jarrett not to allow the Angle/Sting empty arena match to take place because of the insurance issues and legal ramifications that could result from a lack of referees and general safety issues. This is actually a good thing. We complain when real-life consequences are ignored in wrestling, so treating the situation this way makes it seem more important. Jarrett asks what choice he has. Should he and Angle have a third match that completely destroys the company? Wait a minute. Is Jarrett saying that no one wants to see Jarrett/Angle III??? Mick Foley sits nearby on a couch, present only to make a reference to the empty arena match he had with the Rock way back when. Cornette actually comes off as the most authoritative person of the three here. Clarify the power structure and stop changing it every week! The only real problem here is that if everyone is waiting with baited breath to see if Jarrett is inclined to acquiesce to Angle’s request (yay, “Pirates of the Caribbean!”), why has the match been promoted for a solid week already? Shouldn’t Jarrett’s consent have been brought up before? Cornette suddenly realizes that discussing these issues on national television might not be the way to go, and kicks Jeremy Borash and the camera crew out.
To the ring! Hey look, it’s Kurt Angle! He wants Jarrett to approve the match, and says that the Main Event Mafia can only be brought down from within. Thanks for reminding us about the rarely-mentioned Front Line. Yeah, the MEM could only implode, rather than have anyone associated with the Front Line actually cause chinks in the proverbial armor. Shut up.
To the back! Lauren interviews the Motor City Machine Guns. Lucky. Chris Sabin asks if they’re all suddenly a bunch of women around here? Jealousy. Cheating. Stealing. Lying. Debauchery. Debauchery? What did I miss? The Front Line locker room is starting to make him sick. All he and Alex Shelley have ever done from day one was to look after themselves, without bothering anyone else. They’re just loving people who pay their taxes and give to charities, and they always, always put others before themselves. Lots of people are jumping on this contradiction as evidence of a crap promo, but it’s funny as hell if you think about it. It wasn’t an accident. In any case, the future Mr. Drowgoddess doesn’t get to complete the thought because “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal and Consequences Creed attack the Guns. They brawl through the backstage area as we cut to a commercial break.
Match #1: the Motor City Machine Guns defeat Lethal Consequences in a “No Holds Barred” Street Fight: Seriously, is there any other kind of Street Fight? To the ring! Upon returning from commercial break, the backstage brawl has spilled out to the ring. Some really nice sequences here, but the camera seemed to be at just the wrong angle for most of this match. Sabin drops Creed gut-first across the back of a chair. Creed smashes Sabin in the head with a chair as Sabin takes a suicide dive between the ropes. Lethal hits the Lethal Combination onto a chair on Sabin. Lethal has a chair wedged into the corner and tries to slam Shelley into it, but Shelley counters and pulls Lethal head-first into the chair. Shelley tries to hit Creed with the X-Division title belt, but accidently hits Sabin instead. Creed nails a nice over-the-top-rope jump to the outside. Sabin recovers in time to hit Creed with the X-Division title belt, and Shelley gets the pin. This match really could have and should have gone a bit longer. Granted, it was more than four minutes, which was miraculous in and of itself. Once again, fans seemed subdued for the wrong reasons. They cheered spots from each team, but didn’t seem to know how to respond to the teams themselves. This is precisely why “tweener” booking doesn’t work. People want to cheer the Guns, but don’t feel that they can. Fewer people want to cheer Lethal Consequences, but they feel like they should. Reactions are half-hearted at best. Look here, booking people. You can’t manufacture or buy the popularity and crowd response that the Guns were getting. Ride that wave all the way to the bank.
To the video package! The Main Event Mafia tells us to cross the line. You know, because the show isn’t about them nearly enough.
To the back! More Main Event Mafia meltdown (see what I did there?), as Booker T, Sharmell, and Scott Steiner don’t seem at all pleased with Angle’s recent demands and behavior. Booker insists that he knows Sting, and that Sting has never disrespected him like some other people have. Angle tells him that the match tonight can be a handicap match, but Kevin Nash breaks it up. Booker and Sharmell leave with JB, who asks them if the MEM is over. Booker’s dressing room has yellow police tape across the doors. Gold! Before anyone can enter the locker room crime scene, AJ Styles and the Legends title jump Booker and beat the ever-loving crap out of him in the hallway.
To the ring! Beer Money and Jacqueline sally forth, and issue the “Off the Wagon Challenge.” Because they are the best tag team ever, they’re bored. They’ve plowed through everyone who was placed in front of them. They will now defend the tag team titles against anyone, anywhere, any time. However, if Beer Money wins, whoever gets pinned or is forced to submit has to leave TNA forever. No coming back under a mask. No coming back as a referee, ring announcer, bell ringer, or stupid camera man. You’re gone for good. The challenge is for real, and it starts tonight. Strong segment, but pointing out how boring the show was is only heelish if the show is not, in fact, boring.
To the back! Lauren interviews, Taylor Wilde, Roxxi, and “the Governor.” Lauren asks why she’s still “in character” when the whole prank against the Beautiful People is over. The asinine answer is that it’s so much fun. Not for viewers, it isn’t! Come on, it’s friggin’ Daffney! Let her scream and be amazing! Ah, well. They outnumber the Beautiful People tonight because of the Spike TV rules that men can’t become physically violent with women, ergo, Cute Kip can’t touch them. This makes it three-on-two.
To the therapist’s office! Abyss is in session with Dr. Stevie. Jeebus! Why couldn’t they at least call him “Dr. Richards?” No good can come of this.
Match #2: LAX and Shane Sewell defeat Brutus Magnus, Sheik Abdul Bashir, and Matt Morgan: This match should have been called “Hernandez kills everyone in about four minutes.” Considering how much push Morgan and Magnus have gotten lately, this was a surprise.
Hardcore History, 101. Mick Foley tries to remember important moments in his career, and dropping an elbow on Sting seems to be one of those moments. For some reason. These segments are just not doing much for me. I used to love Mick, but….
To the announce table! Jim Cornette informs us that a team that hasn’t teamed together in several years has accepted Beer Money’s challenge for later tonight.
To the weight room! Lauren attempts to interview Scott Steiner as he works out on a weight bench. Among other gems, he tells her that she can work out with him if she takes off her clothes. A disembodied arm enters the frame and pins the weight to Steiner’s chest. Samoa Joe (or at least his arm) tells Steiner that he could crush that oh-so-recently rebuilt sternum easily. He won’t, though, because he wants to properly introduce Steiner to his Nation of Violence. Please tell me I’m not the only one who thinks “Nation of Domination” every time Joe says this. Steiner had better get ready, because Joe’s gonna kill him. Yes, I agree that threats of murder should be avoided in wrestling, but I give an exception to Samoa Joe. I’m just too much of a sucker for that line. The only other person who should be allowed to say “I kill you!” is Raisha Saeed. I so eagerly await that day!
To the back! Lauren (that woman gets around!) interviews Sojourner Bolt about the possible conflict between her role as a member of the Kongtourage and her Knockouts title shot at Awesome Kong at an undisclosed future date. Raisha Saeed interrupts, and tells SoJo that she has already talked too much outside of the group. SoJo says that she understood, she just didn’t listen. Nobody but her mama tells her what to do. SoJo walks away after shoving Saeed. Saeed tells Lauren that there will be big trouble. Please dear god don’t let Mama Bolt turn up! We all know how Mama Benjamin worked out. Well, unless she’s Jewish…. J
Match #3: Taylor Wilde (w/ Roxxi and “the Governor”) defeated Angelina Love (w/ Velvet Sky and Cute Kip): Angelina Love is clearly the best wrestler out of this lot. Not the best Knockouts match ever.
To the “Win a Night with ODB” contest! Submit videos of your friends and family without their knowledge or consent! We did. Sorry, JT. J
To the back! JB (Lauren must be tired) talks with Sting, who points out that Kurt Angle should have known that Sting was not going to let the title out of his hands at “Against All Odds.” He slightly modifies his previous point, saying that with a select few exceptions, anyone other than himself holding the World Heavyweight Championship would tarnish it. Names, Sting! We want names!
“Rough Cuts” time! This week features another look at the Ultimate X match. AJ Styles, Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Hernandez, and Brother D-Von talk about how the match shows off the amazingly athletic skills of the smaller wrestlers, and how they have an advantage over the heavyweights in that type of match. Great clips from past matches are shown. This is a good way to acquaint new viewers with the match before the ppv.
Match #4: Beer Money defeats Eric Young and Petey Williams in an “Off the Wagon Challenge” Tag Team title match: This is what a good tag team match, running about twelve minutes, can be. Eric Young and Petey Williams came out to the old “Team Canada” entrance music, wearing matching Canada jackets. If you knew how it was going to end, it was even more emotional to watch this. Jacqueline interfered repeatedly, and Beer Money cheated to win without using the beer bottle. Petey Williams was pinned, so his TNA career is over. Beer Money exits up the ramp, mocking Petey as they leave. Young gets the crowd cheering for Petey, which they were really already doing. Petey’s emotion overcomes him, and he cries in the ring. He got a good send-off. I just hate TNA for making it necessary. Sure, Petey may never have been a World Heavyweight title contender, but he was one that they should have tried to keep. Whether the real reason for his departure is that a satisfactory new contract could not be negotiated, or that creative had nothing for him, it’s still rubbish. They could have at least let him hit one last Canadian Destroyer. The announcers really did not treat this with the importance that they should have. It was the first of these challenges, and the idea that someone who had been a mainstay of the company was suddenly forced to leave should have been a bigger deal once he actually lost the match. Good bye, Petey, and good luck. I’ll miss seeing you on my tv.
To the back! Lauren interviews Team 3D and Rhino. Rhino comes off as a complete wuss for concern over Angle and Sting. Team 3D hopes that Angle and Sting cripple each other. The respect for Sting has evaporated since the last time they were on camera. They encourage Rhino to come with them to a strip club and hang out. Rhino doesn’t drink. Ah, but D-Von knows this white girl that he thinks Rhino will like. Rhino asks, I kid you not, “She’s not fat, is she?” D-Von as the “Fat Chick Thrilla” is amusing and all, but everyone can’t look like the Knockouts. Or at least like Velvet Sky. Real chicks need love too!
To the outside! Everyone empties the building except for Tenay, West, Angle, and Sting. And whatever crew guys they need for the entrances that no one will be there to see. To be fair, this was treated like a very big deal, which was good.
To the back! Sting makes his entrance. Another shot reveals the Main Event Mafia watching the monitors. From inside the building. Whaaa???
Match #5: Sting vs. Kurt Angle went to a no-contest (Empty Arena match): Yup. The Main Event Mafia interfered. The supposedly empty arena was, in fact, not. Despite their efforts, Angle pretended to accept Sting’s handshake, then spat in the Icon’s face. Security (an even less-Empty Arena) pulled them apart.
To the back! Lauren is with Sting. He’s screaming about how no one has ever disrespected him this much in his entire career. He’s all in now, and if Kurt hates him, the feeling is mutual. If hate were people, Sting would be China! Ok, he didn’t say that, but he was thinking it.
To the back! JB is with the rest of the MEM and Angle is still going berserk. Nash tells Angle that this whole thing is Angle’s fault, not Sting’s. Angle wants Sting at ‘Destination X.” He looks into the camera and tells Jarrett to make it happen.
Final Thoughts: A non-finish on a match that was promoted so intensely seems like a poor idea. Then again, the idea that Kurt Angle vs. Sting is the absolute top match in 2009 TNA would seem to be a poor idea as well. We shall see. The return of Samoa Joe and AJ Styles as forces to be reckoned with is good. When they finally get matches against their MEM nemeses, it will be solid. Whoever thinks that “the Governor” is entertaining should be shot. In the face. Just let the woman have a decent name and let her go with it. And scream. At least Petey got a decent send-off. He could have just vanished without a word. If he really didn’t want to, he shouldn’t have had to leave. If he was low-balled on his contract negotiations like Gail Kim was, that’s pathetic. If “creative” couldn’t think of anything for him and that was the excuse, that’s beyond absurd. Frankly, his narcissistic “Maple Leaf Muscle” bodybuilder persona would have been perfect for the Beautiful People instead of Cute Kip. We’ll never know now. Promotion for the Ultimate X match is going well. Perhaps “Destination X” won’t feel like an afterthought this year. Just don’t cram more than four guys in the match. It’s best with three or four.
Check back next week for more “Impact” Impressions!
Peace out,
Drowgoddess
TNA’s decision not to renew the contracts of Petey Williams, Jimmy Rave, and Lance Hoyt is just the beginning. More talent cuts are said to be forthcoming, and the supposed logic behind TNA’s non-renewals really brings to mind the saying, “There are none so blind as those who cannot see.” It isn’t releasing talent, we’re told, it’s just not renewing their contracts when they expire. This is semantics. Isn’t the end result the same? TNA wants to pump some new life into the undercard of their roster, and bring in new people. With a finite number of spaces and limited resources, someone has to go in order for this to be possible. Okay.