Being the last WWE Superstars before “Extreme Rules,” this review also comes with predictions for the ppv. Let’s do it!
Match 1: The Bizzare One and the Midget (Goldust and the Midget) teaming up against THE Brian Kendrick and Jaime Noble
Believe it or not, even Hornswoggle doesn’t make Kendrick and Noble look big. Noble has to have bad memories of the little troll beating him for the Cruiserweight title. Anyways…Hornswoggle hits the tadpole splash on Spanky for the win.
Extreme Rules Prediction:
CM Punk over Umaga in the Samoan Strap Match. Punk hits the GTS and drags the Samoan Bulldozer around the ring.
Santina over Vickie Guerrero in the Hog Pen match. Mickie James and Kelly Kelly help Santino’s “twin sister” get the win.
Match 2: David Hart Smith vs. Tommy Dreamer. Christian doing commentary.
I hate the Hart Dynasty music. They need to just use the old music. As the referee was distracted by Christian grabbing a chair out of Natalya’s hands, Tyson Kidd kicked Dreamer in the head and David Hart Smith picks up the cheap win.
Extreme Rules Prediction:
ECW Championship Triple-Threat Match: Tommy Dreamer gets the win and becomes the new ECW Champion by pinning Jack Swagger.
Big Show over John Cena in a Submission Match. This match is the payback match for Show and builds on the fact that he is too big for Cena to submit.
Match 3: Chris Jericho and Dolph Ziggler tagging against R-Truth and Jeff Hardy
At the beginning, Jericho claims that from now on, Superstars will be his show because he is the ultimate superstar. Jeff Hardy gets the win with a Swanton Bomb on Dolph Ziggler. R-Truth should be IC champ very soon! That dude can work.
Extreme Rules Prediction:
Intercontinental Championship Match: Chris Jericho gets the win in the No Holds Barred match. As he attempts to rip off Rey’s mask, R-Truth makes the save and starts a program with Jericho.
World Heavyweight Championship Ladder Match: Edge gets the win. No reason for him not to.
US title Fatal Four-Way Match: Kofi retains the title. Again…no reason for him not to.
WWE Championship Cage Match: Randy Orton defeats Batista, as HHH finds a way to interfere. This sets up the Summerslam triple-threat main event.
That does it for this week. Thanks for reading and see you next week for another WWE Superstars Review.
Ken Anderson, aka Mr. Kennedy, was released by the WWE this week. Now, the reason as to his release, are several in number. From sloppy suplexes to apparent wrist injuries, to a war of words backstage, to being injury prone. Many reasons are to blame for his departure. However, I can prove Mr. Kennedy was injured during RAW this past week, as this footage shows. Here is another angle of his devastating injury.
The field for the next WWE PPV, entitled ‘Extreme Rules’ is set, and it is headlined by the HogPen match between Miss Wrestlemania Vickie Guerrero and Santina Marella. Can Santina Marella reclaim her crown? Find out in this one of a kind match.
Also on the card, the WWE Champion, Randy Orton defends his title in a Steel Cage match against Batista.
Edge will defend the World Heavyweight Championship against Jeff Hardy in a Ladder match, John Cena will face the Big Show in a Battle Rap Submission match, Christian defends the ECW Championship against Tommy Dreamer and Jack Swagger, Rey Mysterio defends the Intercontinental Championship against Chris Jericho, the new United States Champion, Kofi Kingston, defends against William Regal, Matt Hardy and MVP in a Fatal Four-Way and CM Punk faces off against Umaga in a Samoan Strap match. Just let you know, this PPV takes place on a Public Holiday in the land where I roam, so be sure to watch out for my comments LIVE. Will they be here? Who knows? Stay tuned.
TNA
Samoa Joe has been injured according to Samoa Joe’s Twitter account. He has a torn tricep as well as a broken finger or two. As TNA film several iMPACTs in advance, it will not affect his appearance there, however, it will affect him at Slammiversary. It will be interesting to see what type of role he plays.
Raven, Shane Douglas and Victoria all apeared on iMPACT this week. Raven to feud with Abyss, Shane Douglas attacked Daniels and Victoria took out the Beautiful People. It’s good to see Victoria, although I heard she was retiring. Shane Douglas looks fat and Raven looks old.
Hey everybody! Whose ready for another review of the rotating half face show?! I gotta say, the intro to Superstars kinda freaks me out a little. But, I digress. Let’s get this thang started.
First match of the evening pits THE ECW CHAMPION….CHRISTIAN against the Tommy Dreamer for the ECW title.
First out is Christian with his new shirt. I can’t wait to get it! Next out is the challenger, who was actually challenged by the champ, Tommy Dreamer. Why is the ECW championship match leading off the D-show? Shouldn’t it be the main event? Whatever….At one point, Dreamer looked like he was smelling Christian’s butt, when he applied a knee wrench. That was a little awkward. Throughout the match, Dreamer worked on Captain Charisma’s knee that was injured by Jack Swagger on ECW. This was a pretty good match. I’m not a huge fan of Dreamer’s work, but he certainly is not horrible. Christian is great and always does his part in the match. Dreamer hit a sicknasty suplex off the top rope and a cannonball to the outside, which were his two big spots of the night. Swagger made his way out the ringside and this match was ruled a no-contest. This match will likely be a triple threat match at Extreme Rules. This match gets a 8 out of 10.
Backstage interview with Josh Mathews and Chris Jericho
Jericho accuses Mathews of not respecting him and ties CMPunk’s popularity to his MITB briefcase. He defines greatness as himself and says Punk has his brush with greatness tonight.
The second match of the night is Kofi Kingston against William Regal
Regal should get a run at a world title soon. The guy is great. These two seem to work well together. I like their mix of high-flying and technical/brawling styles. From out of nowhere, Kingston hit the Trouble in Paradise for the win. This was good match for its length. I give it a 7.5 out of 10.
The main event of the evening is Chris Jericho and CM Punk
This match was good, but it seemed really random to have these two squaring off. It would have made more sense to have Punk and Rey tagging against Jericho and Umaga. This is the main event in name alone, as these two have no current beef with each other…Yet. Punk got the win with a counter of the Walls of Jericho into a rollup. After the match, Jericho hit a Code Breaker. This match looked like a seed-planter for a future program. We shall see. This match gets a 8.5 out of 10.
The show was very entertaining tonight. Except for the main event, everything else continued the storylines. Hopefully Jericho and Punk will start something going into Summerslam. As I leave you I will pose a question for you to ponder…If a penny is the unit for the American dollar, shouldn’t an ounce be the unit for the British pound?
To the tune of ‘Manic Monday’ by the Bangles, you can follow the song by clicking HERE.
It’s that time already
I was just eating some chocolate ice cream
I’ve been thinking all day
About my column and what should be its theme
But it can’t be late
‘Cause then it’s Thursday and it wont be right
These are the days
I wish that Vinnie had a show every night
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
Thank Joe it’s only one day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
I think I need a miracle
‘Cause all I see on my screen is white
I’m running out of time
and I’ve still got nothing to write
‘Cause it takes me so long
Just to figure out what I’m gonna say
I post a YouTube clip or two
And everything is a-ok
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
Thank Joe it’s only one day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
Why in my mind
Did I choose to make fun of a Bangles song
It’s just too hard
Does it really matter
That it’s hard to change the words
I’ll just write anything down
A giant has a big voice
and Mimes, they don’t make a noise
Time for a ke-bab
and a Hot Cross Bun
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
Thank Joe it’s only one day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is zero wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
WWE Judgment Day
I actually made predictions in last week’s column, if thats what you want to call them. Let’s see if my wishes came true.
Umaga def. CM Punk
I got this one wrong. Infact, judging by the length of this match. This wasnt a 30 minute match was it? It wasnt even a 10 minute match. No, it was more like this …
Christian def. Jack Swagger
Who didnt see this coming a mile away huh? Christian won. Personally, I dont see why Jack Swagger cant win, I mean, he’s been in commercials. At least, I think it’s him, it sure sounds like him. Here, judge for yourself.
John Morrison def. Shelton Benjamin
This shows you just how much means in the scheme of things, that as of last Wednesday, this match was not announced for the Pay Per View. Which means, that this match had at most exactly four days build up. Four Days People! How can you build a PPV match in four days? It’s just like working out if the contractors building the Death Star knew what they were getting into? I’ll let Dante and Randal explain.
Well it looks like my dreams didnt come true. Rey Mysterio didnt get Swine Flu nor did he get booted back to Mexico. Perhaps I should’ve gotten JBL to do it. Rather than comment on this match, why not show it to you. I present to you, Rey Mysterio vs Chris Jericho.
Batista def. Randy Orton by DQ (Orton retains WWE Championship)
Randy cheats to win, so Big Dave doesnt win the title. Hooray for Randy, thank you for not letting that useless lug win the title. It’s good to see they might let Randy hold the title for a few months, or at least until this man comes back. However, spoiler note, Randy Orton scheduled to defend the WWE Championship three times during RAW’s tour of Australia and New Zealand in early July. Before you ask, no I’m not going, my birthday is too close to the touring dates (the last day of the tour is the day before my birthday), which means that chances are, Randy isnt losing the title before then.
Wasn’t Batista a Body Builder?
John Cena def. Big Show
First off, did you know John Cena gave driving tips? Secondly, if anyone actually thought that Big Show was going to win at Judgment Day should not be allowed to be a wrestling fan ever again. Thirdly, don’t you pay attention to rhymes? Fourthly and finally, Are we gonna have a shower or what?
Edge def. Jeff Hardy
Edge retains the World Heavyweight Championship, which means for the first time in a long while, all major titles have been retained at the one PPV. Which is good, considering I was at a concert the other night and was surprised to see Jeff Hardy reforming his old band. Here’s a clip.
No TNA this week, I went through a fair bit last week and the only thing that has been added is that Jeff Jarrett is now a part of the Title match at Sacrifice. That’s J-E-Double FJ-A-Double R-E-Double T. What is he Sacrificing in order to be in the match? Why ownership of TNA of course. Judging by that, my prediction is, either Angle loses or Foley loses. My guess, Angle loses to Foley.
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is zero wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
Judgment Day is this Sunday according to WWE programming. Didnt they just have a PPV last month? Anyways, it’s time to sort out just who will win. But first, check out the awesome video for the PPV!
CM Punk vs Umaga
Remember what I said last month about CM Punk’s match at Backlash and how he only gets matches because the WWE thinks the fans want to see him? This is another one of those matches. This match means absolutely nothing to anyone, except for Umaga, because he’s actually getting used on a PPV. Punk win, just because the event is held in his hometown of Chicago. I have nothing more to say about this, because I dont care.
Rey Mysterio vs Chris Jericho – Intercontinental Championship
Tough one. Submission match. Crossface vs Walls of Jericho. Can Jericho win the IC belt from Benoit, or will Benoit retain? I’m gonna say Benoit, but it’s tough for me to decide either way … wait … it’s not Benoit in the match, it’s Rey Mysterio vs Jericho? The IC title’s on the line. What is this? The year 2000? Jericho wins. Someone boot that little Mexican back over the border where he belongs. Oh, and I hope het gets swine flu.
Christian vs Jack Swagger – ECW Championship
Christian wins. I suppose I’d better add something else here. Here we go, the greatest RAW match of all time according to yours truly. Part One.
John Cena vs the Big Show
Like I said in last week’s column. John Cena needs to learn to sell injures a lot more. He was thrown into a spotlight by the Show at Backlash and this past week, he was in a match against the Miz. 15 Days after being thrown in a spotlight, John Cena wrestled. That is just ridiculous. However, I’ve seen this match before. Infact, it happened at a Judgment Day, several years ago …
This past week on RAW, Batista refused the chance to join a group including Randy Orton. I dont see why he refused, I mean, it wouldnt be the first time Batista has joined in the same group as Randy Orton. Maybe Randy should’ve offered 100,000 as well.
Two former Evolution members go head to head with the gold on the line. Both were World Champion during Evolution. Both beat Triple H for their first title reigns. Batista has a penis for a head and Randy Orton has a penis for a stablemate, as well as Ted DiBiase. Randy wins, but let’s just hope that this match doesnt go the same way as this one …
They have a PPV coming up too, it’s called Sacrifice and the main event is for the TNA Title. Champion Mick Foley defends against Kurt Angle and Sting, in a match that is sure to push the young talent that TNA say they are doing.
However, each man must Sacrifice something in order to compete and if they get pinned, then they lose what they sacrifice to the person that pinned them. Sounds simple, doesnt it? I know, a real shocker coming from TNA. So, your question now is, just what exactly is everyone Sacrifing? Well, let me tell you …
If they lose …
If Mick Foley gets pinned, he loses the TNA Heavyweight Title
If Kurt Angle gets pinned, he gives up leadership of The Main Event Mafia
If Sting gets pinned, he has vowed to never wrestle again
Also on the card, is as follows:
I-QUIT MATCH FOR THE TNA LEGENDS CHAMPIONSHIP
Booker T vs. “The Phenomenal” AJ Styles
Who cares? I believe AJ became Champ, so he could be the first TNA Grand Slam Champion. TNA KNOCKOUT WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP
Champion Angelina Love vs. Awesome Kong
I hope Kong eats her. I really do. Cannibalism on PPV will make me want to watch TNA more.
MAIN EVENT MAFIA VS. TNA FRONTLINE
Kevin Nash vs. Samoa Joe
The teacher versus the student. Remember when Nash mentored Joe? Big Kev mustn’t be a good tutor, because Joe has found himself a new tutor. Speaking of this match, Scott Hall won’t be getting involved, let Joe tell you.
THE FIRST-EVER KNOCKOUTS MONSTER’S BALL
Check back for the complete lineup
THE FINALS OF THE TEAM 3D TOURNAMENT
The winners get a shot at the TNA World Tag Team Title *cough* Beer Money win *cough*
Well, thats it. Stay tuned next week, when I, will hopefully provide not only my weekly Wednesday column, but also, a special May 19th column, in honour of Kane.
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
WWE Backlash
Backlash has been and gone. Matches were won and lost, and i didnt do any predictions. So, let’s just examine the happenings.
Christian def. Jack Swagger to become new ECW Champion.
Well, well. He finally wins the title. I knew that sooner or later he was gonna win. But the big question remains. Does this count as a major title win? I know that the ECW Championship counts as a major championship, but I, along with several other people, doesnt see the ECW Championship as nothing more than a re badged European Championship. Is this the stepping stone to Main Event level for Christian? My guess is no, as he needs to step up an extra couple of rungs up the ladder before he makes true Main Event status.
Chris Jericho def. Ricky Steamboat
Nice to see Jericho got the win. A loss here would have destroyed the small amount of credibility he has left. Also, I hope this is the end for Steamboat. He may still be able to go a little, but that doesnt mean that he should go a little. The novelty has worn off for Steamboat. As for Jericho, hopefull SmackDown! pushes him back up to Championship status, although seeing him stare down the Intercontinental Champion during the Draft coverage a few weeks back, spells his future.
Kane def. CM Punk
The relevance of this match? Filler. Thats all it was. they made up some thing about Kane being upset about not winning Money in the Bank at WrestleMania, but that did a rather lame job of hiding the fact that this match was only put there to fill up the card. Sadly, this match got in and yet the US Title, the Tag Titles, the IC Title and both Womens Titles didnt get defended. Just goes to show you how much the WWE think people want to see CM Punk. Even if the matches don’t mean anything.
Jeff Hardy def. Matt Hardy
This match was an I Quit match. If I am forced to sit down, and watch this Vampiro ripoff anymore, then I will quit. I do not understand how this guy is popular. Do they feel sorry for him because his house burned down? Do they feel sorry for him because he thought the name of this PPV was ‘Cracklash’? But seriously, I have no idea how Jeff Hardy got pushed, whereas Matt, the better of the two Hardys, didnt. Jeff became WWE Champion. He beat Edge for the belt, and was challenging former champion Triple H all the way. Yes, thats right, Triple H. The same Triple H whom Jeff Hardy beat for the Intercontinental Title back in 2001. Whereas Matt Hardy, well he beat Chavo Guerrero for the ECW Championship. The same ECW Championship that I referred to as a re badged European Championship earlier. I wonder what will happen now that they are on different shows? My guess is, Matt Hardy will do nothing, whilst Jeff challenges for the World Title.
Khali Kiss Cam
Joke. Santina loves JR and Khali beats up Beth Phoenix. What has Beth Phoenix done to piss someone off? She must’ve done something real bad to be invovled in this Santina/Santino, To-may-to/To-ma-to let’s call the whole thing off nonsense. Thats what they should do with Santina Marella. Call the whole thing off. it’s becoming more ridiculous by the second. Nice way to destroy Beth’s career.
Legacy def. Trips, Shane O and PenisHead, meaning Randy Orton is new WWE Champion
Oh my god, the all mighty Triple H got beaten. What ever will we do? I know, send Penishead after him. He’ll save the day! Newsflash. Deacon Dave is inept. The only thing he’s good for is holding collection boxes. On the other hand, having Randy as champ is a big PLUS. Now, why couldnt they have Orton win at ‘Mania? Surely that would’ve been the best time to have him win the belt.
Edge def. John Cena to become World Heavyweight Champion
Edge win the belt, with a very big assist from the Big Show. Let me make this loud and clear. John Cena is NOT Hulk Hogan. John Cena is NOT some sort of being with superhuman powers. John Cena is NOT a member of the X-Men. Is Edge not good enough to beat John Cena on his own? Does the major title on SmackDown!, have to change more than Vickie Guerrero does love interests? However Ladies and Gentlemen and this is where they really grind my gears. John Cena, appeared on RAW. Thats right, just one day after being thrown into a spotlight, John Cena appears the next night. Hulk Hogan sold more in his career, than John Cena ever will. I hope Edge holds the belt for awhile, unless he loses it to Jericho. Anyone else, and it will be a travesty.
TNA
Have I missed anything? Oh yeah, they have a PPV coming up. It’s like they have one every month or something. Anyways, the up-coming PPV is Sacrifice and Mick Foley will defend his belt against … well it could be a list of people. From Bug-Eyed Lashley, to BrokeNeck Angle, to Stung, to Mike Tyson’s lookalike. The list goes on and on. Also, theres a Tag Team Tournament to determine the #1 contender for the gold. The winner also receives a trophy and $100,000. If Beer Money doesnt win the tournament, then their belts back, then once again, it’s a travesty.
The Rest
Just some short little tidbits here. Whomever entered the competition won. You all win jack, and shit. Thank you for entering.
Finally, don’t forget my review of the WWE Vintage Collection will be up at WorldWrestlingInsanity.com inside the next 24 hours, so go check that out. Also, check out the various videos and toilet breaks throughout the review.
I am the REAL Legend Killer, reminding you to stay away from fat chicks, as you might end up with swine flu.
Holy crap, there was a WWE Pay Per View last night, wasn’t there? I haven’t seen more than 5 minutes of it (by time I sat down to watch it, I was exhausted), so I’m going to wing this. Here we go!
Christian def. Jack Swagger to become the new ECW Champion. Captain Charisma has finally won a World Championship – nevermind the fact that he’s, y’know, a two time NWA World Heavyweight Champion.
Chris Jericho def. Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat as if you couldn’t guess. Another accolade to add to Jericho’s Hall of Fame resume.
Kane def. CM Punk for some reason. The Money in the Bank briefcase wasn’t on the line, so um, yeah.
Jeff Hardy def. Matt Hardy in an “I quit” match that I’ve been told was WrestleCrap worthy and had a lackluster finish. You’d think after all the time they’d been wrestling together they’d be able to put on a show stealer.
Santina can’t kiss Khali because she’s in love with Jim Ross. Yup.
Santina Marella def. Beth Phoenix in an impromptu match for the title of Miss WrestleMania. I love Santino Marella’s character, but this angle must die.
Legacy def. Triple H, Shane McMahon, and Batista making Randy Orton the new WWE Champion – and all is right with the world. Well, except for the fact that for the moment, John Cena is the World Heavyweight Champion. Speaking of…
Edge def. John Cena in a Last Man Standing match to become the new World Heavyweight Champion! Now all is right with the world!
RAW coverage will be up later tonight, probably in the same format as last week, so stay tuned. Meanwhile, that other wrestling website’s owner must see that BWF is gaining a huge amount of popularity, because he decided to step up his game and do a Real-Time RAW Insanity tonight, if you’re into that sort of thing.
Hey everybody! Its your favorite Christian enthusiast, tharvey1, here again for another review of WWE Superstars.
Match Numero Uno por la noche pits Rey Rey and Senor Money in the Bank CM Punk against Kane and El Grande Show. For those of you not fluent in Spanglish, it is Rey and CM Punk vs Kane and Big Show in a tag match.
To start the match, it is Kane taking on Rey. Kane and Rey seem to work well together when they square off, so the beginning of the match was quite entertaining. A pretty cool spot with Kane sliding Rey across the ring on his stomach to outside and Rey landing on his feet caught my eye. The middle of the match saw Kane and Show taking it to the much much smaller Rey. Somehow Rey weaseled away from Kane and made the tag to Punk, who came in hot until Show forced him off the top rope and into a chokeslam by Kane. Winner Kane and Big Show. I was suprised to see how little Punk was used in this match. I give this match a 6.5 out of 10.
The next match of the evening is Finlay and the midget against Tyson Kidd and Natalya, who were already in the ring
Kidd and Finlay start the match, with the troll quickly entering. He somehow pulled off a move, pulled out tennis balls and juggled them, threw them at Tyson Kidd, who proceeded to chase him out of the ring. Finlay then layed him out, tossed him back into the ring, and hit him with the shileighly….screw the spelling…you know what I’m talking about. The “little person” nails Kidd with the tadpole splash for the W. I was wildly disappointed with the lack of action for the B E A utiful Natalya, as her appearance was the only thing that made this squash match bearable to watch. I give this match a 2 out of 10. How can they build a guy like Tyson Kidd up if they are just going to job him to Hornswoggle?! On the way to break, Finlay seranades the audience and Hornswoggle with a rendition of When Irish Eyes are Smiling and just like that, Father and Son are split up. God I hope they future endeavor that little monkey soon.
John Cena talks backstage. Blah Blah Blah. He’s a great person, but there’s just so much I can take of him.
And Now for the Main Event of the evening. In the Blue Corner and fighting out of Jamaica…Kofi Kingston. In the Red Corner and fighting out of Toronto Ontario, Canada and hopefully future World Heavyweight Champion…The Rated R Superstar EHHHDDDDGGGE!!!!!!
Why hasn’t this match occurred sooner? Why didn’t Kofi get any revenge on Edge for stealing his Elimination Chamber spot? Whatever…The ultra, super athletic Kofi Kingston is great to watch…especially when he squares off against the magnificent Edge. The beginning of the match has a lot of arm bars by Kofi Kingston to pass the time on what will be a fairly lengthy match to end the show. Right before the final commercial break of the night, Edge knocks Kofi off the top rope. Back from break, Edge assumes control of the match. A little back in forth leads to Kofi showing off his athleticism off the top rope with a high cross body. Kofi uses an unorthodox, kinda belly to belly sweep for a pin attempt, which results in a twooooooo. Edge gets up and face plants Kofi, then misses a spear as Kofi recovers and hits a spinning kick to knock The Rated R Superstar out of the ring. A series of near falls by both men leads into a spear by Edge for the win. This was good back and forth match and by far the best match of the night. I give this match an 8 out of 10. It would have been a 10 out of 10 if Christian had shown up for a “5 Second Pose.” There’s my cheap plug of the night for Christian.
Overall, the show was just OK. The first match was alright, but lacked “it,” as all four of the guys seemed to care less about being there. The second match was a joke. Somebody please kill Hornswoggle already. The main event was very good, but not good enough to offset Hornswoggle being on the show. Now I will leave you with a fact of life as I know it….Firehouse is the greatest band of the “Hairband” era. Thanks for reading everybody and join me next week for another exhilarating WWE Superstars Review by Yours Truly.
Rather than do a full blown RAW review tonight or skip the thing entirely, I’m here to do a “bullet-points” edition of the RAW review! Basically, it’s a condensed version of what you usually get from me on Monday nights Tuesday Mornings, and I hope you all enjoy it!
RAW still wants to be loved, even after Papa Roach has released another album. From what JT tells me, it’s pretty good.
Triple H takes on Orton later tonight as RAW emanates from the UK
SmackDown’s Chris Jericho kicks things off tonight.
He says he’s done with RAW.
Ricky Steamboat interrupts.
Steamboat thanks Jericho for bringing back his passion to perform.
Jericho challenges Steamboat to a match at Backlash.
John Cena interrupts.
Jericho tells Cena that his last act on RAW is to walk out on him.
Steamboat accepts Jericho’s challenge for Backlash
Cena tells Jericho that Vickie Guerrero is not here tonight, but she said Edge isn’t competing tonight, but Cena has to. Jericho’s last act on RAW is a match with Cena tonight.
Rey Mysterio takes on The Big Show later tonight.
Chavo Guerrero is officially a member of the RAW roster.
He can push around anybody on the RAW roster
Batista’s music hits, and the Animal hits the ring
Batista beats Chavo in mere seconds
Chavo apologizes to Vickie, saying he wasn’t ready
Batista returns and drops Chavo with a second Batista Bomb
Shane McMahon meets up with Batista backstage
They agree to be on the same page at Backlash and apologize for attacking each other last week.
Kane vs. CM Punk
Both of these guys are on SmackDown now.
Apparently the draft “takes full effect” next week after Backlash
Punk picks up the win with a rollup
IT’S-A HE! SANTINO!
Last week, he lost his match to The Great Khali, so now his poor sister has to kiss Khali
Some people think that he and his sister are the same person, he’s going to prove them wrong.
Santina’s music is a remix of Billy and Chuck’s old theme
She can’t kiss Khali because of a blister on her lip. She’s in Italy and joining us by satellite
She starts to explain that she won’t be able to make SmackDown this Friday, then mysteriously speeds up her speech, which Santino explains as her drinking too much Red Bull
Santino wrote a poem about the family
Beth Phoenix and Rosa Mendez inturrupt
She’s sorry to hear about Santina’s sister
Santina will be able to kiss Khali at Backlash
Santina starts to sing on the titan tron, but Santino cuts her off
Santino tells Beth she’d better pray she wins back the Women’s Championship tonight, because she’ll never be Miss WrestleMania
SmackDown’s WWE Women’s Champion, Melina is here to defend against Beth Phoenix
Melina vs. Beth Phoenix (WWE Women’s Championship)
If Beth wins this match, RAW will have both World Championships and both Women’s Championships
Beth utilizes some Awesome Kong like moves in this match
Melina hits a Sunset Flip Powerbomb combo for the victory
Shane McMahon wishes Triple H good luck tonight
Shane reminds Triple H that if their team gets disqualified at Backlash, Orton wins the title
John Cena vs. Chris Jericho
“Y2J” chants fill the arena
The crowd seems to be behind Jericho, but all yelled “You can’t see me” for the Five Knuckle Shuffle
Jerry Lawler trash talks Fozzy, saying that the crowds booed so loud that Jericho couldn’t hear himself suck. Apparently he confused Jericho with Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger
Jericho escapes the Attitude Adjuster and drops Cena with the Codebreaker, but Cena kicks out at two
Cena catches Jericho out of a second Codebreaker attempt with the Attitude Adjuster, but Jericho kicks out at two.
Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho, but Cena counters into the STF. Jericho counters into an eziguri
Cena and Jericho battle on the top rope until Edge comes out and shoves them both down
Edge spears Cena
Edge hits the Con-chair-to on Cena
Edge reminds us of the rules to a last man standing match, then counts Cena out, announcing himself as the winner
Rey Mysterio vs. The Big Show
Big Show catches Mysterio out of a 619, holds him in a sidewalk slam position, and punches him in the head, knocking him out for the victory
Ted DiBiase tells Cody Rhodes that it’s not the same being in a group when your leader isn’t a champion
Orton says Triple H knows he’s done and that this Sunday Legacy will win
Triple H vs. Randy Orton (no disqualification)
Lots of weapons used here
Triple H focused on Orton’s leg
Legacy comes out to save Orton.
Shane comes out to help HHH, but Legacy takes control
Batista comes out and dominates
Batista accidently hits Shane.
HHH and Batista clear out the ring.
Orton hits the RKO from out of nowhere. 1,2,3, ORTON WINS!!!!!!!!
We fade to black as both teams stand face to face. Orton & Legacy on the ramp, HHH, Shane & Batista in the ring.
Thanks to JT for getting me the highlights of the last match after I left for work!
Happy Easter everyone! Hope everyone has a good day today. Welcome to a Super-Sized edition of Random Randomness, complete with a surprise at the end (well sort of): (more…)
