Tag Archive: Cody Rhodes

  1. RYTMAN’S RECAP – RAW 04/22/2013

    Leave a Comment

    Let’s start with…

    MATCH RESULTS

    1.) R-TRUTH DEF. ANTONIO CESARO – This was kind of a weird match.  Cesaro dominates using his strength and wear-down holds on Truth, until Cesaro misses a clothesline.  Truth takes over with fast-strikes, (mostly kicks,) and gets the win with the face-drop.

    Rytman Remark: What is with the R-Truth winning streak?  Are they building him up to challenge Ziggler?  And why R-Truth as opposed to…anybody else?

    Side Note: The less said about Cesaro yodeling the better.

    2.) DAMIEN SANDOW (w/Cody Rhodes) DEF. BRODUS CLAY (w/”Sweet T” and the Funkadactyls) – Team Rhodes Scholars (Sandow/Cody Rhodes,) come out without the Bellas for the second time this month.  Clay tosses Sandow around with ease, until Sandow takes control with a combo of short-range strikes and mat-wrestling.  Match ends with Cody distracting Brodus and Sandow getting a roll-up with a handful of tights for the three-count.

    Rytman Remark: Without a Bellas/Funkadactyls cat-fight, this feud really has no point.

    3.) ZIGGLER (w/AJ and Big E.) DEF. CHRIS JERICHO – First really good, solid match of the night.  The first high point is Dolph faking out Jericho and sliding out to score a kiss from AJ, and Jericho responding w/a drop-kick to the back of the head.  Ziggler dominates until he gets cocky, and Jericho uses his agility and high-flying moves to make a come-back.  Jericho locks in the “Walls of Jericho,” and just when it looks like Ziggler will tap…

    #DADA-DA-DA-DA-DADA…

    Yup, Fandango’s music hits, and a distracted Jericho takes a Zig-Zag from Ziggler, who gets the pin.

    Rytman Remark: Sorry to see a loss for Jericho, but Ziggy needed the win here.

    4.) “SWEET T” (w/Brodus Clay & the Funkadactyls) DEF. CODY RHODES (w/Damian Sandow)– Pretty much the same match we saw earlier (see Brodus/Sandow,) with the exception of “Sweet T” holding Cody up in the air for a long time (ala Davy Boy Smith’s standing vertical suplex.) Brodus and the Funkadactyls try to get the crowd going with mixed results.  Sandow interferes but Brodus takes him down with a head-butt charge, and “T” catches Cody’s attempted “Beautiful Disaster” kick.  “T” gets a three-count, and we get a dance party.

    Rytman Remark:

    …

    …

    What do you wanna hear?  It was what it was.

    5.) BIG E. DEF. ZACK RYDER – Ryder got in some offense, but this ended with the “Big Ending” by Langston for a three-count.

    Rytman Remark: Let’s face it people, this is the best possible use for Ryder.  At least he’s getting TV time.

    6.) THE SHIELD DEF. THE UNDERTAKER/WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS TEAM HELL NO (KANE/DANIEL BRYAN) – The big match of the night.  Crowd was into this one before it even got started.  Taker makes his entrance alone, and is soon surrounded by the Shield. (See “Angles” below.) Team Hell No run-in just in time and the match gets going.

    Taker’s team took control early w/quick and frequent tags and getting an “old school” spot on Ambrose (second attempt.) They double-teamed Ambrose, then Reigns.  The Shield took over on Kane when Reigns held him for a clothesline/running kick combo from Ambrose/Rollins.  Shield takes turns beating down Kane, but Kane gets Daniel Bryan in, and Bryan has huge crowd support.  He gets the “YES” chants going with every shot he lands until he misses a charging dropkick to Rollins in the corner.

    Shield works over Bryan until Taker gets the hot tag.  Taker is in charge until Reigns gets a spear in.  Kane comes back in and takes over, bringing Bryan back in.  Taker/Kane get into a brawl w/Rollins & Reigns while D-Bry misses the flying head-butt.  Ambrose wraps him up and gets a three-count.

    Rytman Remark: Sorry to see Taker get a loss, but putting over the Shield was the right thing to do.

    7.) FANDANGO DEF. WILLIAM REGAL – Here’s a fun little surprise bonus.  Regal matches Fandango’s hip action w/a little step or two of his own.  The match ends quickly when Fandango catches Regal in the “Dip-DT,” (Copyright, Robert Rytman,) and gets the three-count.

    Rytman Remark: Good to see Regal here in action.  Just now (sadly) realizing how awesome a Regal/Jericho tag team would’ve been.

    8.) DIVA ROYAL – AJ, Layla, Naomi, Aksana, and Tamina.  Diva’s Champ Kaitlyn joins the announce team to scout this match.  The Bellas (according to the announce team) where disqualified from competing in this because of their illegal double team on Kaitlyn last week. (Author’s note: Dafuq?) AJ teases a kissing spot on Tamina, who responds with a kick to the face.  AJ spends the whole match out on her back (Author’s note: SHUT UP PERVS!) while the other ladies eliminate each other.

    Layla is the last girl standing.  She tries to get AJ up and through the ropes while AJ sandbags her.  AJ ‘comes to” and kicks Layla out of the ring to win.

    Rytman Remark: Okay, I get what they’re doing.  They don’t trust AJ to wrestle a whole match, so they book her to win, by making one smart move at the right time.  Not a horrible idea, but they will run out of ways for her to pull it off quick.

    Side Note: The Bellas were “disqualified” from being in the battle royal for their illegal double team last week?  I could go into a dissertation about all the ways that doesn’t work and all the plot-holes it opens, but I wanna get this over with, you wanna get back to your lives, let’s just call it stupid and leave it at that.

    Side-Side Note: I’d be wasting the effort it would take to point out Layla could’ve just rolled AJ over the bottom rope to the floor, right?

    Okay, moving on to…

    MAJOR STORYLINES/ANGLES

    1.) BROCK/TRIPLE H: THE SAGA CONTINUES…WEITHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT – RAW opens with a fade-in on a close-up of Paul Heyman.  Heyman introduces himself as a representative for Brock Lesnar, and recaps his decimation of 3MB last week, as well as his subsequent challenge to Triple H to a cage match at “Extreme Rules.” He announces that Triple H is not at RAW, and reads an e-mail from him, saying his injuries have kept him from flying and he will answer Heyman next week.  Heyman knows how let-down we all are.  He feels the same…

    “I have been let down by this gutless coward who didn’t have the manhood to appear tonight… “- Paul Heyman

    At that moment, the music hits and Triple H is out!  He explains the e-mail simply, he lied.

    He asks Paul for a favor…

    “I want you to go back home to Brock Lesnar and tell him I ACCEPT!” – Triple H

    Triple H ends this w/a pedigree on Heyman to the cheers of the crowd.

    Rytman Remark: This has got to be a record, SHORTEST TRIPLE H PROMO EVER!

    2.) ZIGGLER/DEL-RIO/SWAGGER: HEY THIS MIGHT GET INTERES-NEVERMIND – We backstage as Ziggler is making kissy-kissy w/the World Heavyweight Championship.  AJ shows up and jokes about being jealous.  Ziggler remarks how good she’d look with a title of her own, when we notice Big E. looking on…

      “E! This is Dolph-and-AJ time. Please no creeping!” – Dolph Ziggler.

    Big E. walks off as RAW managing supervisor Vicki Guerro and her assistant Brad Maddox enter, informing Ziggler if he loses to Jericho tonight, Jericho gets a spot in the title match w/Swagger & Alberto Del Rio, making it a four-way at extreme rules.  Ziggler wins, (see Match Results, above,) and everyone gets disappointed.

    Rytman Remark: Nice tease job WWE, however I argue that Jericho would’ve brought some BADLY needed heat to a lukewarm angle.

    3.) JERICHO/FANDANGO: SPECIAL GUEST DIVA, SUMMER RAE – Fandango comes out for his match with Regal, with NXT developmental diva Summer Rae as his new dance partner.  After his win (see Match Results, above,) he gets jumped from behind by Jericho, who rubs salt in the wound by offering Summer a dance.  She accepts and Jericho gives her a whirl.  Summer looks flustered (in the good way) as Fandango rolls around in pain.

    4.) SHIELD/TAKER/TEAM HELL NO: AN UNDERTAKING OF TAKING ON, THE TAKING-OUT OF UNDERTAKER – The Shield make their first on-camera appearance of the night, by helicopter, transferring to a black Range Rover to the arena.

    Backstage, Bryan is upset that the Taker hasn’t shown up to go over strategy.  He asks Kane why he doesn’t just call his brother…

    “Give him a call? He doesn’t exactly carry a cell phone!” – Kane

    Bryan insists that Kane look at his diagrams, and asks if Kane is upset about them not hugging in a while.  Kane asks Bryan for a favor when Taker shows up.

    “Do NOT try to give him a hug!” – Kane

    Suddenly, Kane and Bryan go down hard as the camera shakes.  The tag champs are on the floor as three sets of black boots stroll off.

    Later in the night, it looked like the Taker would have to face Shield all by himself, but Hell No made the match in time.

    Rytman Remark: Waste of effort seeing how Shield won anyway.

    5.) CENA/RYBACK: I HAVE NOTHING – We take a look back at the recent bad-blood between Cena/Ryback, and how it’s lead to a match at Extreme Rules.  Mick Foley is interviewed about Ryback’s recent actions.  Foley mentions how it’s not in human nature to look in the mirror and see your own shortcomings.  Ryback responds in his interview later that night…

    “I look in the mirror and don’t see shortcomings. I look in the mirror, and see the next WWE Champion!” – Ryback

    It’s revealed that Foley will confront Ryback later on the show.  A little later, we see Foley talking w/Cena backstage…

    “In a career full of mistakes, this might be my biggest!” – Mick Foley

    I’m just gonna sum this up, Foley calls out Ryback and gives him the speech about character, about how he can have all the tools, but needs heart and guts to get it done, and how letting Cena get beat-down by other people makes it a cheap-win.  Ryback snaps back with how Foley is old and his message is archaic.  It looks like Ryback will kill Foley, but Cena runs out to make the save, much to the disappointment of a crowd that wanted to see Foley die apparently.

    The Shield makes an appearance and Cena teases leaving Ryback at their mercy.  But when Shield attacks, Cena makes the save with a chair and runs the Shield off.  Cena gives the AA to a confused Ryback, and RAW ends w/Cena standing tall.

    Rytman Remark: Why can’t Mark Henry be the #1 contender and just spare us all this?

    Side Note: Why didn’t Ryback and the Shield join forces?  It was the perfect moment and would’ve been easy to explain.  Ryback wants Cena, Shield wants to get rid of Cena, done and done.

    Rytman’s Review: I liked this RAW up until the ending.  It kept things moving and set up the stories nicely, but this FRIGGIN’ ending made no damn sense.  My only guess is the save at the end was an attempted “make good” to Ryback in order to protect Cena’s image.

  2. Wrestlemania 29 according to WWE’13

    Leave a Comment

    Well here’s my contribution to Wrestlemania week  and like last year is a look at what Wrestlemania through the eyes of WWE’13 well the Wii version anyway.  Hey it’s better than Smackdown vs. RAW 2010 which is what I used last year. Just to let everyone know that the Wii version of this game has no DLC so I’ll only be doing the matches I can with what I’ve got.  I will also be doing this on simulate mode so I will have no effect on the outcomes of the matches. So without further ado, lets go: (more…)

  3. RYTMANS RECAP – RAW 03/18/2013

    Leave a Comment

    Just a basic recap this week peep-holes; as the week’s off to a rough start, (family stuff.)

    Let’s start with Match results;

    JOHN CENA DEF DARRIEN YOUNG (w/”Pancake” Patterson.  I will get to that in a minute.)

    RYBACK DEF DAVID OTUNGA (Like any other outcome was possible.)

    FANDANGO vs GREAT KHALI: NO CONTEST (Not that it would’ve been one anyway.)

    R-TRUTH DEF DAMIAN SANDOW BY COUNT OUT

    WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS TEAM HELL NO DEF PRIMO/EPICO w/Rosa Mendes

    WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ALBERTO DEL RIO w/Roberto Rodriguez DEF CODY RHODES

    RANDY ORTON/SHEAMUS DEF 3MB (Heath Slater, Jinder Mahal, Drew McIntyre)

    DOLPH ZIGGLER w/AJ and Big E. DEF KOFI KINGSTON

    WWE INTERCONTINENTAL WADE BARRETT DEF CHRIS JERICHO AND THE MIZ (3 way for the title)

    Okay, so let’s talk about the show…

    “Pancake” Patterson

    “Pancake” fucking Patterson

    “PANCAKE” FUCKING PATTERSON

    PANCAKE FUCKING PATTERSON!

    Seriously

    (Sigh) I’m praying this is something Titus actually wanted to do, because if this was any white guy’s idea, and Titus HAS to do it, then we need to shut down WWE, I’m sorry.  HOW IN 2013 ARE WE SUPPOSED TO JUSTIFY A BAD FRED SANFORD GIMMICK?  The sad thing is, this bit is stupid enough to actually go over, God help us all.

    RAW Managing Supervisor Vicki Guerrero and SMACKDOWN Senior Advisor Teddy Long pulled Ryback out of the six-man with Orton/Sheamus against the Shield and booked against Mark Henry.  Later in the night, The Shield jumped Orton/Sheamus, and Big Show made the run-in to cement the “face” turn. (Hey, it’s more effort than they put into Miz’s face turn.)  So, Big Show is in the six-man, and Ryback gets Henry.  My question is why not just book Big Show in the six-man in the first place?  For the record, Ryback would’ve been the better choice, as he still has “unfinished business” with the Shield, but since when does WWE care about continuity?  I’m thinking this could still turn into an eight-man, Henry and the Shield vs Ryback, Show, Sheamus and Orton.

    I gotta admit, Fandango scored some points with me tonight.  I dig him with a different Ballroom Dancing girl leading him in every week, I was into the streamers, and the outline of his silhouette from the ceiling.  I dig him hitting on every Diva that comes to the ring with his opponents.  Kind of stupid, seeing how much I hated “Pancake” Patterson, but with Fandango, there is a small difference.  Fandango is still a “mystery.” I actually don’t know if he sucks in the ring yet.  There’s still a chance this could pay off.  With “Pancake,” I know it’s just a desperate attempt at getting a mid-card guy some heat.

    R-Truth getting a count-out over Sandow felt like filler to me.  I could live with their “feud” ending here.  Neither man has enough momentum to justify a spot on Mania.

    Cody had a bit with the Bella Twins and Kaitlyn that I’m hoping brings this “flirtation” angle to an end.  It’s going nowhere, and the only logical outcome is a face turn for Cody that he does not need right now.

    Side Note: WHY DOES FACIAL HAIR COUNT AS A GIMMICK?

    And now the highlight of the night, in the best heel promo in history, C.M. PUNK MOCKS THE UNDERTAKER WITH THE URN OF PAUL BEARER.

    www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkGdq4NOBE8

    I have nothing to add, genius.

    So apparently, Ziggler is getting a shot at the tag titles w/Big E. as his partner.  WWE set this up with AJ skipping out to the ring during Hell No’s match against Mo/Co, Kane and Bryan responded by coming out to challenge Ziggler and Big E. after Dolph’s win over Kofi. AJ demanded they put the tag titles on the line.  I feel obligated to point out that Ziggy/Big E. haven’t wrestled as a tag-team in the entire time they’ve been on RAW, and Big E. has yet to wrestle an official match on any show besides NXT, however; one thing I’ve learned in all my years of watching RAW, the meaning of the word futility.

    Side Note: Daniel DID get a win over Ziggler on Saturday Morning Slam, so you could argue they’re working a “program,” but you’d be stretching it. (You’d also be someone who cares more than any one else.)

    ADR vs Swagger just got personal as Swagger took out Ricardo’s ankle with the “Patriot Act” after Del Rio’s win over Cody.  We got a “USA” chant during the match, which might not have been for ADR.  I hate to say it, but I did see this coming.  I’m guessing  a LOT of WWE fans are “Tea-baggers,” and are slowly inching on to Swagger’s bandwagon.  Also, Del Rio isn’t working as a baby-face.  I’m sorry, but his “champion of the immigrants” routine doesn’t ring true enough.  Del Rio really lost a step becoming a face.  He’s watered down his personality too much and his “come back from nowhere” approach in the ring is sloppy and awkward.  Honestly, I think Del Rio might have to drop the belt and disappear for a while if they want to salvage him.

    The last actual match of the night was Wade Barrett getting a badly-needed win over Miz and Jericho.  Most people, including me, felt this was a bit anti-climatic as it would’ve made a good addition to the Mania card.  I’m thinking if they wanted to, they can revisit that whole “Intercontinental Open,” idea they scrapped so Barrett could feud with Bo Dallas. (Remember that?  Neither do they.)

    The night ended with the big contract signing between Triple H and Paul Heyman, representing Brock Lesnar.  It ended with Trips clearing the ring and brutalizing Heyman before signing the contract.  Lesnar came out and pulled Heyman out.  Heyman revealed his big surprise stipulations – “No Holds Bared,” and Triple H’s career on the line.

    This is where I allow myself to get optimistic (possibly masochistic,) and hope this is secretly Triple H’s retirement match, then I remember his match against the Undertaker a few Wrestlemania cards ago was supposed to be a retirement match.

    And we are out…

    RYTMAN’S REMARKS: Not bad, not bad at all.  This show was a good build-up to Wrestlemania. Still, if you watched it you can see how little fore-thought went into developing an under-card for the show.  Stuff is being thrown together and juggled around in a very last-minute manner.  We’d better hope the three “big” matches can carry the show, because it doesn’t look like they’ll have a ton of support.

     

     

  4. WWE RAW 12/17/12: The Slammy Awards

    Leave a Comment

    One day after we gave out our own awards for the year in wrestling, the WWE copies us by giving out their annual Slammy Awards.  I, for one, think the BWF Awards are more prestigious.  After all, you can’t buy a BWF Award.  Anyway, let’s get started so I can finish this by 3AM.

    I watch 30 minutes of RAW.  I leave for work.  I obtain a copy of RAW when I get to work.  And since I don’t have the foresight to start my review while I’m watching the first half hour, I have to sit through it again.  That’s how ThinkSoJoE’s RAW reviews work.

    (more…)

  5. RYTMANS REVIEW: RAW 11/05/2012

    Leave a Comment

    This will be brief.

    We open with a recap of WWE champion C.M. Punk running away from Ryback on last weeks’ show, leaving his team to be decimated by Team Foley.  Backstage, Miz tells Heyman he quits.

    We go to the ring for a six-man tag with Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio and R-Truth against U.S. champ Antonio Cesaro and the Prime Time Players (Young/O’Neil.) Truth and the masked men win the match with a head scissors, 619, and a “little Jimmy.” During the match, Re and Cara seemed to have some legit confusion over a double team.

    Lawler returns next week.

    Vicki Guerro came out to talk about AJ and Cena some more.  I think the crowd was chanting “QUIET!” I’m not sure.  Cena came out and brought up her being GM on Smackdown while being married to Edge, and hooking up with Dolph Ziggler.  He calls her something I don’t understand.  We get videos of AJ in a bathrobe knocking on a door, and John in a towel opening and closing a door.  Vicki demands AJ come out.  AJ, on the tron, threatens to attack Vicki if she comes out, Ziggler steps in and implies AJ is a whore.  Cena heads to the back.  Vicki laughs manically.

    https://sandynjrelieffund.org – Because they decided to do at least ONE WORTHWHILE THING TONIGHT.

    Backstage; Heyman talks Wade Barrett into joining Team Punk.  Barrett hints at a favor.

    Hell No comes out.  We get Daniel Bryan against Cody Rhodes.  A brawl on the outside sets up a win for Cody.  Cody grabs the mike and brags that Sandow could beat Kane.  Kane grabs Sandow.

    We get Kane verses Sandow.  Bryan chases Cody into the ring. The ref throws them both out.  Kane wins with a choke-slam.

    Cole interviews referee Brian Maddox.  Maddox screwed Ryback out of the title at Hell in a Cell so he could be famous.  Vince comes out and says if Maddox can beat Ryback next week, Maddox will get a $1,000,000 contract.  He sends Maddox out and calls out Vicki Guerro.  He scares Vicki into booking Punk into a three-way defense against Ryback and John Cena.

    We get Sheamus against Miz with Big Show at ringside next.  Miz looks good, getting in a lot of offense and dominating the match, but it ends with a brogue kick and a three-count for Sheamus.

    Backstage; Vicki comes out of Vince McMahons office and tells Dolph Ziggler he’s the new captain of Punk’s team.  Punk steps in to voice his objections; Vicki tells them they’re facing Ryback and Cena in tonight’s main event.

    We get a promo for FANDANGO?

    Backstage; we have Sheamus; thanking Stephen Regal for all his support, and agreeing to have dinner with him.

    We get a recap of Vicki’s “evidence,” against AJ, and then we watch Aksana and Eve walk to the ring.

    Our next match is Layla/Kaitlin vs. Divas champion Eve and Aksana.  Kaitlin pins Eve and no-one cares.

    Backstage; Alberto Del Rio and Roberto Rodriguez discuss being on Team Ziggler when Rosa Mendez bumps into ADR.  He smiles and they hit the ring.

    WWE IC champ Kofi Kingston comes out, followed by Ricardo announcing ADR, who drives out in a $500k Aston Martin.  We get a recap of last Friday’s Smackdown, where ADR cost Randy Orton a loss against Wade Barrett, and Randy responded by attacking him backstage.

    Our next match is Kingston vs. Del Rio.  It’s a hard fought match, with the tide going back and forth until Orton’s music hits and distracts Del Rio, allowing Kofi to get the pin, and Orton to run in and RKO Del Rio.

    We get a recap of the Maddox interview and Co-Bro (Santino Morella and Zack Ryder,) come out.

    We get a tag team match with Co-Bro vs. Mo-Co (Primo/Epico) w/Rosa.  We get a chant for Ryder and Santino gets the pin w/the Cobra.

    Next up is Wade Barrett vs. Brodus Clay.  Barrett is clearly the crowd favorite, despite the “Funkadactyls,” embarrassing attempt to rally the crowd.  Barrett wins with the “souvenir.”

    We get footage of people in a pub for some reason, and then we get Heath Slater w/Jinder Mahal vs. Jay Uso w/Jimmy Uso.  Slater wins with the “Smash Hit,” (wide swinging DDT.)

    And now, our main Event

    WWE heavyweight champion C.M. Punk comes out with Paul Heyman.  Punk recaps his victories over Ryback and Cena, and mentions his reign has been 351 days and he is the best in the world.  Ziggler comes out followed by Cena (to a hostile crowd) and Ryback.

    Our main event is a tag team match, Ryback/Cena vs. Punk/Ziggler.  Cena carries most of the match as the face in peril.  The big finish is Cena making the tag and Ryback devastating their opponents.  He tosses Ziggler out of the ring like a doll, and pins Punk with the Shell-shock.  The show closes with a Cena/Ryback stare down and Ryback going “Feed Me More…Feed Me More…etc.”

  6. RYTMANS RAW REVIEW 10/29/12

    Leave a Comment

    MATCH RESULTS

    RYBACK DEF JTG – Total Squash; JTG is for all intents and purposes a jobber.  Ryback hits the shell shock for the three-count.

    ORTON DEF BARRETT – We get a re-cap of Barrett’s win on the last Smackdown.  Hard-hitting match; ending with an RKO out of nowhere.  Orton gets the win.

    WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS HELL NO DEF PRIME TIME PLAYERS – Side note; the PTP were wearing ALL Pink for this match.  I don’t know if that was for the Breast Cancer campaign, or they got heat from the front office.  Team Hell No wins despite arguing with each other.

    WWE I-C CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON DEF WWE U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO BY DQ – Miz joins the announce team for this one, and distracts Kofi, allowing Cesaro to get a shot in.  Kofi tosses Cesaro right on top of Miz a few seconds later.  Miz attacks Kofi, getting Cesaro DQ’d.  R-Truth runs out to save Kofi from the double team by Miz/Cesaro.

    3MB DEF CO-BRO – Santino knocks Drew McIntyre off the ring w/a flying “Cobra” shot, but this gives Heath Slater the opening to hit a swinging neck-breaker with the leg for a pin fall.

    AJ DEF BETH PHEONIX – AJ wins with a small package, but Vicki comes out, saying she demands better of her roster, so after distracting AJ long enough for Beth to hit a clothesline…

    BETH PHEONIX DEF AJ – With the Glam Slam, for a three-count.

    RHODES SCHOLARS DEF SIN-STERIO – Sandow hits the neck-breaker on Sin Cara after a three way brawl on the outside with Cara, Cody Rhodes and Mysterio.

    ALBERTO DEL RIO DEF JUSTIN GABRIEL – ADR locks in an arm-bar submission, and nothing much else to see here people.

    BACKSTAGE SEGMENTS AND PROMOS

    We opened with a recap of referee Brian Maddox screwing Ryback out of the WWE title by helping defending champ C.M. Punk w/a low blow and a fast count.

    WWE champ C.M. Punk hobbles to the ring with Paul Heyman and his belt in tow.  He denies having anything to do with Maddox and points out Maddox screwing him over with a bad call two weeks ago in a tag team match.  Punk runs down a list of enemies and victories, saying he is kryptonite to resident “superman” John Cena, and declares himself “In-erasable,” (in regards to WWE wanting to erase him from history.) Mick Foley is out next.  Punk compares Foley to Hurricane Sandy, and Foley craps on Punk making light of a tragedy.  He gets the cheap pop for Charlotte North Carolina, and tells Punk he blew the choice Foley gave him a few weeks ago.  He yells at Punk about tradition, to which Punk responds by showing Foley his bandages.

    “THIS IS WHAT YOUR TRADITION DOES.”– C.M. Punk

    Foley challenges Punk to a traditional Survivor Series match, Team Foley vs. Team Punk.  Punk accepts, and Ryback comes out for his match.  Punk and Heyman bail.

    Backstage; Vicki is interviewing AJ.  Seems the board of directors wants Vicki to consider hiring her back as a Diva.  Vicki takes the opportunity to torment AJ with the “c” word.

    After the Hell-no/PTP match, Vicki comes out to address the crowd about the Cena/AJ “scandal.” Cena comes out to confront Vicki.  Vicki says she has video proof of their “relationship.” We are shown in order…

    Recap:

    • Cena making a joke about going to “In & Out” Burger w/AJ, Cena responds that it was a joke.
    • Cena hugging AJ after she resigned last week, Cena claims he was comforting a friend.
    • Cena and AJ having dinner together, Cena claims they were discussing his condition and return.
    • Cena and AJ getting into the elevator, Cena claims he just walked her to her door.

    Vicki calls John full of excuses and starts ragging on AJ about flirting with John.  John cuts her off, and out comes Dolph Ziggler.  Ziggler says this is all because of John’s “sophomoric urges.” Cena shoves Ziggler on his posterior and we go to break.

    After the Kofi/Cesaro match, Vicki goes back to AJ (Yes, this was stretched out into three segments.) After more ragging, Vicki offers AJ back her job if she’ll just admit to thinking John is attractive.  AJ refuses to compromise Cena and tries to walk off.  Vicki calls her back, and decides to give her back her job (MAKING ALL THIS A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME.) She gives AJ a match with Beth Phoenix (see above,) later that night and warns AJ that if she ever touches her again, she’s gone.  AJ says thanks, and skips off smiling.

    After the Divas match, we get a word from Sheamus.  He’s bummed about losing the title, but doesn’t regret anything because he was in the best fight he’s had since coming to the WWE.  He promises to bring the fight to Big Show and next time, he’ll win the war and the world’s championship.  Big Show comes out to gloat and rub the belt in Sheamus’ face.  He calls Sheamus a “Ginger Snap.” Sheamus responds…

    “Have you ever seen a Ginger Snap?” – Sheamus

    Sheamus follows that up with an EFFORTLESS “White Noise” on Big Show.  Sheamus walks off while Big Show recovers.

    After a look at Sports Business Journal’s piece on Wrestlemania, we go backstage with Cena and AJ talking about their night.  Cena leaves and AJ gives him the same stare she used to give C.M. Punk. (RUN JOHN! THIS ENDS BADLY!) Vicki spies on them from a few feet back.  She starts after AJ but is interrupted by Beth Phoenix, who thanks her for restarting the match.  Vicki resents being put in that position, and FIRES BETH!  Side Note: Sara Del Ray gets a glimpse into a possible alternate future.

    After the Sinsterio/Rhodes Scholars match, we’re backstage with Foley and Kaitlyn gushing about WWE 13 coming out Tuesday, when Heyman makes himself known.  They hype up their presentation on their Survivor Series teams later tonight.

    After a break, we get a video package of the WWE’s Breast Cancer Awareness Promotion with the Susan G. Komen foundation.  After a lengthy rundown of all they’ve been doing, we get a ceremony in the ring where John Cena presents SGK reps with a check for ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

    You know, I gotta admit.  This was something.  For whatever reason, WWE committed to this and did something really positive.  I give them kudos.

    After the Del Rio/Gabriel match and a break, we get our Main Event of the evening; Punk and Foley introducing their Survivor Series teams.  Heyman has assembled the Miz, Team Rhodes Scholars, and Alberto Del Rio.  Foley has Kofi, Team Hell No, Randy Orton, and RYBACK as the big surprise.  This ends in a wild brawl (of course,) and Punk bails on his team while Ryback stares at him.  After passing up the chance to end the damn show for three minutes, Ryback crushes Cody in the Shellshock, and we end.

  7. RYTMANS RAW REVIEW 09/10/12

    Leave a Comment

    This is going to be brief. Aside from the Lawler incident (see below,) I’ve got family medical drama going on right now, so I hope you understand.

    MATCH RESULTS

    R-TRUTH/KOFI KINGSTON (WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS) DEF THE MIZ(INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION)/ANTONIO CESARO (U.S. CHAMPION) W/AKSANA

    EVE, LAYLA & KAITLIN DEF BETH PHEONIX, NATTIE NEIDHART, & ALICIA FOX

    RANDY ORTON DEF C.M. PUNK (WWE CHAMPION)

    RANDY ORTON/JERRY LAWLER DEF C.M. PUNK (WWE CHAMPION)/DOLPH ZIGGLER

    RYBACK DEF HEATH SLATER

    KANE/DANIEL BRYAN DEF PRIME TIME PLAYERS – KANE/BRYAN NEW #1 CONTENDERS TO THE TAG TEAM TITLE

    ALBERTO DEL RIO DEF TYSON KIDD BY SUBMISSION

    SHEAMUS DEF DAVID OTUNGA

    CODY RHODES DEF REY MYSTERIO

    In the ring promo – John Cena cuts his best promo ever on C.M. Punk.

    RAW ends with Michael Cole cheering on Jerry Lawler to recover

    Here’s the big issue tonight, Jerry Lawler collapses at ringside during the Kane/Bryan-PTP match. At the time of this writing, according to PWInsider/World Wrestling Insanity.com, Lawler is supposedly in stable condition, breathing on his own, and awaiting a cat-scan. No one knows anything else at this time.
    This is taking on scary connotations for fans as this happened in Montreal, during a guest appearance by Brett Hart, drawing comparisons to the Owen Hart tragedy of 1997(?)

    All we can do is hope for the best.

  8. Smackdown 09/07/12

    1 Comment

    We briefly see ADR and David Otunga (AAL) helping a neck-brace wearing Ricardo out of GM Booker T’s office. That’s right folks another law suit angle in professional Matlock… err…. L.A. Law… no that’s not it…. hmm…. Law and Order? Nah…. how about Kojak? Yeah, that’s the one. Savalas and shit.


    What’s up mother fucker? I’m bald. And dead. How do you like them apples……bitches?

    (more…)

  9. RYTMANS RAW REVIEW 09/03/12

    Leave a Comment

    MATCH RESULTS

    DOLPH ZIGGLER DEF. RANDY ORTON – Match ends with Ziggler charging Orton in the corner, Orton swings up, Ziggler hits the post, Orton tries a school-boy roll-up, Ziggler reverses it for a three-count, holding the trunks.
    SIN CARA/MYSTERIO DEF. TENSAI/CODY RHODES – Rey h0its the 619 on Cody but is outside the ring when he tags Sin Cara. Ref makes them re-tag and Cara hits a Swanton for three.
    C.M. PUNK (WWE CHAMPION) VS SHEAMUS (WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION) – Doesn’t happen; Punk in street clothes decides to take a personal day and leaves.
    SHEAMUS DEF. JACK SWAGGER – Sheamus wins with the Texas Clover leaf leg-lock. After the match, Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez attack Sheamus. Ricardo winds up taking a brogue-kick meant for Del Rio. He sells it so long I start to think he’s legit hurt.
    EVE DEF. KAITLYN – Eve wins with a neck-breaker. Match is booked to make Eve look like she’s playing nice until she gets an opening for a cheap shot.
    RYBACK DEF. JINDER MAHAL – Ryback scores the pin with the meat-hook.
    KANE & DANIEL BRYAN “HUG OUT” – So, after a series of “anger management” sketches, Bryan and Kane agree to meet in the ring. General Manager AJ lets us decide their fate via “Twitter poll.” The WWE universe votes for them to “hug it out.” Meaning they have to hug each other.
    They have to hug each other.
    Yeah
    After stalling a good few minutes, Bryan eventually hugs Kane. Kane eventually hugs Bryan. They eventually hug each other. Then they start shoving each other. Then they start fighting. It ends with Bryan knocking Kane off the top rope with a chair.
    U.S. CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: ANTONIO CESARO (U.S. CHAMPION) DEF. SANTINO MORELLA – Santino spends the entire match trying to make up his mind about using the cobra. Cesaro finishes this farce with his pile-driver variation.
    ZACK RYDER DEF. HEATH SLATER – Ryder wins with the rough-rider.
    ALBERTO DEL RIO DEF. JOHN CENA: FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE – A scary brawl that actually spilled out all the way to backstage. Cena throws Del Rio through the interview area and gives him the AA. Alberto lands on a luggage container and C.M. PUNK hits Cena with a kick to the head out of nowhere. Punk pulls Del Rio on Cena for a three-count, and then Cena takes a GTS face first onto Punk’s car. As the car drives off, PAUL HEYMAN looks out the window and winces.
    THE GOOD
     • THE FINISH – The main event was actually exciting. Nice to see people who understand what “falls count anywhere” means. Punk getting Del Rio a win over Cena was the right way to get people hyped for the PPV. Paul Heymans cameo as Punks driver got me excited. I am marking out big-time for the possibility of him teaming up with Punk.
    • ANGER MANAGEMENT – As stupid as these bits are, at least Kane and Bryan have made them watchable. Funny moment was when they both bailed on “Harold;” during a trust fall exercise, and the “doctor” losing his patients with his patients.
     THE BAD

    Oh God, where to begin?
    • COMMENTARY – Intercontinental champion The Miz joined the commentary team tonight. It was weird. Miz and Michael Cole seemed to be taking turns playing face. Oddly enough, Cole seemed to be working as the face announcer most of the night. It was kind of confusing. When Divas Champ Layla came out to join them for the Kaitlin/Eve match, Miz jumped all over her. They got into a Jerry Springer like shouting match with Cole desperately playing ref, with NO-ONE playing attention to the match.
    • EVE VS KAITLIN – Actually decent; but BURIED by Miz and Layla bitching each other out. Also, Eve gets the win and makes a big show of offering Layla a handshake. You can see their feud coming a mile away, so what’s the point of making Kaitlin #1 contender if you want to do an Eve/Layla program? Why didn’t they just make Eve #1 contender?
    • THE HUG – Screw you WWE universe. You’re buying into the WWE BS and voting for what they want you to vote for. You are getting the show you deserve.
    THE UGLY
    • AJ – Sweet mother, can we pull the plug on this experiment already? This whole night seemed to be more about AJ losing control than anything else. From people walking out on her to the breakdown in the ring, it’s like WWE wanted to make some point about any woman NOT named McMahon being in charge. Unless they’re setting up a Zach Ryder sized de-push, they need to have AJ quit this job and reactivate her as an active roster member so she can kill Vicki.
    • VICKI AND “INVISIBLE” AJ – Just stop. Please just stop. Wrestling doesn’t do topical humor. Wrestling doesn’t need to do topical humor. For those playing along at home, Clint Eastwood was a guest speaker at the Republican National Convention last week, and did a “bit” with an empty chair representing Barack Obama. Vicki decided to pick up on this and do the same thing with AJ. It wasn’t funny. It wasn’t even relevant to the show, because AJ showed up.
    • SANTINO’S “COBRA” – George Steel Is face palming this crap.

    RYTMANS RANT

    WHY ARE WE BOOKING THIS GODDMN SHOW?!?
    Seriously, what is the deal with the twitter polls? Why not just let us book the whole damn show via twitter? AND WHY WOULD WE VOTE FOR A HUG!? AND WHY DID WE!?!?!?
    I just…..
    Ugh.