ROH Results 8/24/13 editionLeave a Comment
Here are the results from this week’s edition of Ring Of Honor TV: (more…)
Here are the results from this week’s edition of Ring Of Honor TV: (more…)
Once again, the Canadian carrier of Smackdown has dropped the ball. Or fumbled it. Either way, this did not air on Friday in lieu of a random college football game. This article may or may not have gone up on Friday as well. Who can know? Not me, because this part of the review was written on Friday morning. Put on your time-travelling boots, folks. Let’s see what happens….
Welcome friends, it is I, ThinkSoJoE, returning to review the flagship show of the WWE while RYTMAN attends to some family issues. Before I get started, I’d like to send my well wishes to RYTMAN and his family in these trying times. Your job is waiting for you when you get back, bud.
I watch 30 minutes of RAW, leave for work, and avoid spoilers like the plague. Not the character BWF Radio’s Jorge played in the band Dead Before Dawn, the one that killed a bunch of people in the middle ages. Then I watch the show while I’m sitting around doing nothing else of note at work. That’s how ThinkSoJoE’s RAW reviews work.
So Impact opens with the TNA World Champion and X Division Champion respectably on opposing sides against the former World title holder and the X division number #1 contender.
Austin Aries/Kenny King vs Zema Ion/Bobby Roode:
This match was an awesome way to open the show and get the blood pumping. Back and forth pin attempts and Aries diving out of the ring over Ion to get to Roode was excellent of course King gets the pin when he drops Ion with the Coronation.
We get the Aces and Eights video detailing the groups attacks. I find this group interesting and hope that it heralds a return for a certain Guitar swinging co-founder. This also prompts Sting to come out and want to talk to a certain person he believes is behind the group. Storm is the man he wants to talk to and in typical cowboy fashion James points out how 9 months ago he was jumped by Angle and didn’t whine about it and came out and whooped Kurt’s butt. He doesn’t need anyone to fight his battles. Angle comes out tells Storm that he will make Storm tap out.
The Phenomenal One tweets from Australia home of displaced British people who owed money to the king. Then from that we get a recap of one of the most ridiculous stories since Eddie Guerrero’s and Rey Mysterio’s who’s your daddy angle, Claire LynchGate. A new twist to the story is that Daniels and Kazarian are throwing her a baby shower. Yeah please take this plot from C list to B list Daniels you are a god send.
Taz and Tenay announce the matches for the Hardcore Justice 2012 PPV. First we have a Ladder Match between AJ Styles vs Angle vs Daniels vs Samoa Joe. Then we have a Falls count Anywhere match where Anderson vs RVD vs The Pope vs Magnus and finally a Tables Match with Jeff Hardy vs Bully Ray vs Storm vs Robbie E. I’ll stream that.
Bully Ray comes out for his match where he announces that he never trusted Storm and will be at Ringside tonight. All this right before Robbie E and Ray have a squash match in most strict of definitions.
Bully Ray vs Robbie E:
Robbie T jumps Ray from behind and Robbie E takes advantage reminding me of the Joker during The Dark Knight always attacking when he’s down. Ray battles back and drops a neckbreaker to gain 7 points . Have to love the job squadder in this tournament.
Then we show the continuing hotness of Madison Rayne and her pull over Earl Hebner. (Yes I may not like her wrestling but well….You know.) Gail confronts the two and brings into question Hebner’s call last week. Then we get Tara and Mickie stretching in the locker room. Nuff said.
Knockouts Number#1 contenders match : Tara vs Mickie vs Madison vs Gail
And to cut it short..After another roll up pin this time Madison and Tara, Hebner grants the win to Rayne. This of course will be the Knockout Match for Hardcore Justice.
Well after a James Storm recap leads into Roode and Aries promising to bring drinks and themselves to the picnic which is the main event of Storm vs Angle.
Brooke Hogan is backstage with Sting. He wants to know about condition her father. After some “are you sure you can handle the knockouts” talk Brooke gets an envelope with Aces and Eights and promptly tears off her mic and leaves.
The Greatest Guerrero currently wrestling Chavo is shown warming up backstage for his first Impact match. Creative realizes that the KO Tag titles still exist and show ODB and EY talking about them and his new show.
Chavo/Hernandez vs Kid Kash/Gunner:
the unofficial reboot of Mexican America talking on those good ole Southern boys is sure to help reinvigorate and not irratate the tag division. After a decent match Chavo hits the three amigos (triple suplex’s) and a frog splash on Kash for the win. Now if only Daniels and Kazarian can get involved.
So not only have creative remembered the KO Tag titles but the Television title when Devon and (shudder) Garett come out to tell Angle they want a piece of the Ace’s and Eights. Angle tells them to watch his back. Oh and Wes Brisco of FCW asks Angle for a good word to get his foot in the door.
Daniels and Kazarian come to the ring to congratulate Claire with a baby shower bringing gifts and a baby doll dressed as AJ. Then the so to be chain smoking mother of one looks into the camera and tells AJ to do the right thing.
Kurt Angle vs James Storm:
A good match with many near falls, during the course of the match Garett and Devon, Bully Ray, Roode and Aries come down to the ring. After James Storm hits the Last Call for the win and 7 points, he takes the mic and calls out Aces and Eights only for Roode to counter that because he won they weren’t needed. Bully and Storm battle as Aries and Roode have at it (this is more than likely setting up a Ray vs Storm match after HJ) while Angle looks on.
I’m likely the unpredictablity of this program especially since its live so please TNA keep iMPACT LIVE!
Until next week, PNTnoir out.
We open w/a recap of last week’s main event, when AJ put the WWE heavyweight champion and his no.1 contender through a table. We get a bonus recap of the double make-out on Smackdown.
Live @ the Pepsi Center in Denver and we open with “the most controversial figure in the WWE today,” AJ in the ring.
CROWD: YES! YES! YES!
AJ is “overwhelmed” and “very emotional” over the realization that her actions as special guest ref @ Money in The Bank in the WWE championship can “greatly affect the outcome.”
SIDE NOTE: DUH
With that in mind, she asks us to welcome WWE champion CM Punk.
Well, WWE sure went and “TNA’d” RAW this week, giving us a taste of what the future has in store starting July 23rd, officially marking the 1000th RAW and the start of 3 hours of programming (including overrun). I’m on the fence about what I thought of last week’s RAW in consideration of the programs that will continue on tonight’s rendition of Friday Night Smackdown.
And in all fairness, describing a the quality of a program by using “TNA” as an adjective is kind of offensive to the oddly superior program, Impact Wrestling, over the last couple of months. This includes two great PPV’s out of the Orlando promotion (that nobody ordered, and I can’t blame them).
How long will it be before we describe TNA as botching their show as “WWE’ing” it? Enough with the editorial. Let’s just hop to it, shall we?
Unlike last week, I am coming into this episode with a better attitude. Perhaps this is a result of a vastly improved RAW (well, at least by comparison) and a mildly entertaining live Impact on Thursday. I’m not sure why my mindset is linked to other grappling content I partake, but it is. Let’s see if the WWE can continue this trend as Sin Cara returns tonight! Let’s have at it, shall we?
Roode comes out. The cocky heel is eladed that in one week he will be the longest reigning TNA World Champion in the history of the company. He wants to throw a bash. So he calls out Hogan and gives him his list of demands
What got me was Canadian confetti, where champions are made. I couldn’t stop laughing. Hogan playing the face GM tears up his demands and tells him that he will defend the title on Open Fight Night. So Hogan sets up some matches for tonight, Bully Ray vs RVD, Jeff Hardy vs Mr. Anderson, Samoa Joe vs Angle and a Battle Royal. After all that Hogan will pick the challenger for next week.
That is a whole lot of matches for just one contender but Hogan is the face GM and impartial.
First up is Bully Ray vs RVD which should make everyone nostalgic for ECW but that would be the wrong company. Bully Ray takes on Van Dam’s injured parts and pulls out a victory. I have a feeling one day that they will put the belt on Bully Ray and I would be fine with that.
King Mo is coming to TNA and I’m late on that but yeah I saw the video and thought okay I could see that once he’s done healing his knee. Then I went online and saw that Brooke Hogan would be in charge of the knockouts in a backstage compacity? Because she has been involved in the business for ever like Garett so automatically she is given a job that would put her on TV more which since her dad has been on TNA she has made numerous blink and miss em appearances. But now she is directing the knockouts?! Where is Dutch (Mantel) when you need him.
End rant. The mystery of who is Madison’s suitor is now on the mind of creative. She bails on Gail as she follows the scent of love. Then the Hooter’s girl and the would be porn star (had she not tried wrestling) Ms Tessmacher (former) and Velvet Sky (latter) confront Mrs (Recently got married and can’t remember the guys name) Gail and tell her she will be losing the title tonight. Yeah she should be so shaking in her boots.
Then we have the Battle Royal, Austin Aries, AJ Styles, Gunner, Crimson, Eric Young, Garett Bishoff, Devon, Magnus, The Two Robbies and ODB?! Make their way to the ring in what must surely be a farce. Crimson goes out with EY and ODB who clothesline him so hard that all THREE go out! So now Crimson is feuding with EY and ODB, Rob E takes out his partner Rob T before being thrown out by Devon who is soon taken out by Garett who he in turn is taken out by AJ. AJ, Gunner and Aries are left. Gunner throws out Aries but is taken out by AJ with a Samoan Drop. AJ wins as Madison during the course of the match is making Googley eyes at someone in the match. Money’s on Crimson. Because then it can be a mixxed tag team feud for the KO tag belts no one wants. YEAH! everyone’s a winner.
AJ secret tryst with Dixie is furthered along when Daniels brings out some video of her and Styles going to a Hotel/Motel. I love heel Daniels and his “Bob Van Dam” name calling.
Oh and Jeff Hardy beat Anderson. Highlights from past TNA PPV play Lockdown 2008, Genesis 2006 and so on.
Gail beats Velvet and Tessmacher after Velvet hit “In your face” on Tessmacher but Kim stole the pin.
Joe vs Angle, a good match but not up to par with Genesis 2006 Angle wins.
Roode comes out to close the show while all the winners come out like lions circling a Gazelle.
Next Week Open Fight Night, and a special announcement.
Spoiler: iMPACT WRESTLING goes live on throughout the summer.
We open with Steve and Bobby walking into the arena (from separate entrances of course). For some reason Roode step out of the pyro room which makes me wonder. We get a vignette of Roode vs Sting going into Victory Road this Sunday.
James Storm our official TNA redneck comes out to make an inring promo about his eventual confrontation in a steel cage with the aforementioned Roode. I smell a slobber knocker coming this April. Just as Storm’s finishes Bully Ray comes out. He taughts the #1 contender tellling him that he won’t make it to Lockdown. And just when we think a fight is about to break out Ray calls out Gunner to take his licks. After a couple of punches the security groupies rush the ramp to separate the two, during the insueing ruckus Ray gets in a cheap shot.
Another Bobby Roode vignette about Sting.
Madison and Gail argue about losing the tag titles which they really weren’t defending, but i digress. They confront Sting who tells them that he’s busy dealing with Roode. He sets up two matches Gail vs Mickie and Madison vs Velvet Sky, Rayne’s match is next.
Madison Rayne vs Velvet Sky:
Madison composes herself on the ramp before cutting into her Killer Queen gimmick, which by the way needs to change but “hearts” to her anyway. Velvet comes out next shaking her pom poms and just as she is ready to staddle a rope for pigeons, she darts toward Rayne spear first. Early on Sky has the advantage with her assorted moves of doom until Madison gets the upper and due to a ref who can’t keep his hands off the knockout. Then the crowd gets behind Velvet which comes out like a druid chant for a death march. I laugh and die on the inside. No offense to the Madison haters but I’m behind her as her move set and more diversified. Anyway after a rollup by Sky which is reversed into another roll up with tights for the win.
Crimson is smug backstage bragging about the win over the two Robs, which is as brag worthy as breathing. After Morgan questions Crimson’s motives about winning belts and making money they head out.
Samoa Joe vs Crimson:
A short match to show that Crimson/Morgan are on the same page and another loss for Joe with Magnus looking weaker even by comparison when he attempts to attack Morgan on the outside only to get irish whipped into the ring post.
Austin Aries comes out and shows his X division champion reel and brags about being the longest reigning X Division champion exceeding the previous record of 182 days set by Christopher Daniels. Celebrating aside out comes Zema Ion, after some exchanges about breaking necks and nut hair growth, Ion gives the toast right before he throws a drink in is face. Aries answers back by dousing Ion in the hole bottle ruining his pretty hair.
Gail Kim vs Mickie James:
There was promos with Sting going on about crowing and craziness but ehh. Mickie and Gail continue to prove their previous WWE stint match was a fluke which they have been trying to allevate through superior matches. This one is no different. After Gail messes with Mickie’s knee we have a methodical attack which culminates with Mickie making a comeback but Kim out smarting her with a belt to the face. she scores the win. heel syle.
We have a watercooler or Lemonade talk according to Anderson about his involvement with AJ Styles. Daniels is curious why he’s taking Styles side which I had the same question because the story looked to be going good til last week. When Kazarian went from unwilling pawn to bitter assistant to all an out heel which now makes this story seem trite. But we have a match between the Daniels and Anderson to hype.
Daniels vs Anderson:
Anderson knocks off some ring rust with Daniels as he seems to not miss a step. Daniels bumps like a madman. Anderson and Daniels battle and during the melee Chris cuts his cheek. Kazarian comes down to the ring to distract Anderson only for AJ to come to the rescue Daniels gets up only to take a mic check. Anderson wins and prepares for Victory Road.
Jeff Hardy prattles on about Angle being an Olympic gold medalist. and his creatures. Speaking of Angle
Garett and Angle have a five minute challenge match which I assume (and you know what they say about assuming) will make Bitchoff (not my words but Angle’s) look good. And I guess that old adiom about is right not only does Garett look good but it also hypes Hardy vs Angle this Sunday when Hardy comes out to save Garett when Angle who’s angry about not beating Garett in time locks him in the ankle lock.
The Two Robs are interviewed by Wonder Years and talk about the upcoming open invitational. Yeah TV title on the line and the person is random. Here’s to an eventual title change so we can have some actual competiton. One can hope right.
James Storm vs Gunner:
Here are two back woods southern wrestlers on the opposing sides of the heel/face tangent. What we have so far is a good match between two competitors with Bully Ray egging on the Gunner. But Gunner gets the job done and by that he takes a Last Call to the face. Making James Storm look strong going into Victory Road.
Sting and Bobby Roode have their contract signing which is where Roode rips into Sting with all his worth for a good 8 minutes. All the while Sting sits patiently listening untl Bobby turns to leave. Sting flips the table over kicks over the chairs and puts on his makeup and attacks the champion. And while beating on the Roode he applies his trademark black paint to Roode’s face. After Roode scurries out of the ring face ashen from the paint sting gets enpowered by his attack.
Well here’s to Victory Road.
Well here another week gone by but with this one being a holiday one here in the States hopefully you all ate plenty and watched lots of football and passed out in front of the TV. So without further ado, we shal get this show on the road: (more…)